Disclaimer: All Disney works are the property of The Walt Disney Company. All other characters and settings are the property of their respective legal owners.
Author's note: Originally posted by Anon e Mouse Jr. on 2017-12-16. This is the first of four chapters posted today.
Disney/Kingdom Hearts Loops, Chapter Twenty-Two, Part Five of Eight
22.16 (GMBlackjack): [My Little Pony] / [Gravity Falls] - also compiled in MLP Time Loops as part of MLP Loops: Gravity Falls.
Gravity Falls: Friendship is Magic: 16: Behold, party
It was the dead of night. Technically it was morning, if 2 AM could be considered morning.
Stan was sneaking down the stairs. He had stuck super-powerful sleep agents into the sextuplets' food yesterday, but they were Loopers. He had no idea if they were immune, resistant, or just didn't need sleep at all. So he had to be quiet.
He stood before the vending machine, perfectly still for a few moments.
"Here we go again…" He whispered to himself, typing the secret code into the machine. The snack-dispenser folded out of the wall, revealing the stairwell into the basement. He closed it behind him.
He descended the stairs, walking into the elevator, and going to the basement marked "3."
The Lab.
He had seen this place so many times. He had gotten used to the weird poindexter stuff hundreds of thousands of times. He knew what all of it was, and how all of it worked. He could get anything here working in a matter of minutes.
He was going to do it the old fashioned way this time.
He took Journal 1 out of the desk, taking Journals 2 and 3 out of his subspace Pocket. He couldn't risk trying to take them from the mane six. They were too observant.
He would just have to do it at the right time.
He opened the Journals to the pages that, when combined, depicted what was by far the largest deceive in the lab. A triangular portal with a single circle in it.
He pressed a few buttons, using the Journals as a guide. He wondered why he bothered looking at them, he had it memorized at this point. Press this button, throw this lever, blah de blah…
The portal activated, the circle in the center shining a spotlight on him.
"Aaaand it's working again." He looked down, growling. Where had his pants gone? Why did they always inexplicably disappear when he turned on the portal? It was really really annoying.
He took some pants out of his Pocket, putting them on and grinning. He took a heroic pose. "And now… we wait until the fourth of July. Time to get back to normal stuff…"
He walked out of the lab, and went to bed.
Far away, some secret government agents detected some energy readings, just like they always did.
However, something different did occur…
Celestia woke up with a start, breathing heavily. "It's happening again."
Luna made a "mhm" noise.
"We must go and investigate at once!"
"Mhm."
"Luna!"
"Mhm."
"What are you- oh." Celestia facepalmed, realizing that her sister was glued to the television screen. Something was exploding.
"LUNA!"
"Just one more minute-"
"IT'S TWO AM!"
"But-"
Celestia raised a hand, blasting the screen with a sunbeam. Luna's jaw dropped. "BUT I WAS SO CLOSE TO A HIGH SCORE!"
"Luna. I sensed the Disturbance again. I haven't felt it in thirty years. Something is happening. Something big."
"You said that when your birthday cake went missing."
"I mean it this time Luna. We have to go out and… and…"
Luna rolled her eyes, standing up. "Well, I'm going out to get a TV. Call me if you think of anything we can actually do. We didn't know what was causing the Disturbance back then, and we have no idea what's causing it now."
"Maybe it's those kids…"
"You're already watching those kids."
"But…"
Luna left the room, leaving Celestia to pout. There had to be something she could do…
The next morning, three girls were examining Journal 2…
And Lyra was freaking out. She held up Journal 2 to the page with Bill. "There is a wheel of symbols around him! Why is no-one else freaked out by this?"
"Seen it all before." Rainbow Dash responded, really wanting to look at a different page.
Twilight shrugged. "It actually hasn't been exactly like this before. Haven't had an ancient wheel of symbols in a while."
"BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN?" Lyra exclaimed, waving the book around. "I mean look! This symbol is the same one I put on my journal! There's one that matches the design on Rainbow's clothing! There's a grappling hook! There's a taco."
Rainbow Dash sighed. "This could just be one of his tricks, you know-"
"But I've seen these symbols everywhere! Stan's fez. The heart on Robbie's sweater. The six fingered hand on the journals! WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?"
"There there.." Twilight said, patting Lyra on the back, trying to keep the girl from hyperventilating. "We'll probably figure it out eventually. How about we just worry about Pinkie's karaoke party right now?"
"Why would we need to worry?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Because. She's scheduled a performance in the Pinkie Emporium at the same time."
Rainbow Dash blinked. "She cloning herself again?"
"She says she's going to try to do it with just items found in-Loop. She assured me it wasn't going to be the copier."
Rainbow Dash blinked. "How is she…"
"Here's your butterflies." Pinkie told the gnome, handing him the jar.
"Heheh. Thanks there little pony. Didn't know your kind still existed in these parts." The shady gnome responded, taking his jar of butterflies.
"We're still around. I disguise myself as a human more often than not. Now I held up my end of the deal, so where is it?"
The Gnome produced a ring apparently made of diamonds. "Here's your thingawhatsis. Got it from the Wreckage. Don't tell anyone I was here."
"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie said, grabbing the ring with her mane. She slipped it onto her hoof. "Now… time to party!"
And she was gone.
The gnome took out the butterflies, stuffing them into his beard. He giggled. "Butterflies…"
Later that night, the karaoke party was in full swing.
"You enjoying the party?" Pinkie asked, saddling up to Luna.
"I am." Luna said, drinking the punch. (She had realized it was spiked about an hour ago. She didn't care.) "Though my sister is making it most annoying…"
Pinkie turned her head to the tree Celestia was hiding in. "Yeah it is a little awkward when they're trying to be sneaky but you know they're there…" Pinkie shrugged. "Gotta go!" She leapt behind a box, adjusting the ring around her wrist. She was suddenly in the Pinkie Emporium, grinning. "Welcome to the show! Now look at this gigantic bugbear and be astounded!" The audience cheered. Pinkie juggled bugbears for a few minutes, before diving under the stage and returning to the Shack, this time to launch some party cannons just as Rarity wrapped up her song.
Then she leapt back to Roswell to turn into a pony right before everyone's eyes and do a little jig involving chimicherrychangas.
This was her continual existence for the night. A nice challenge. Of course if things just started going wrong she could start cloning herself or using teleportation or any number of other things. But she was going to see how long she could keep this up…
While Pinkie was at the Emporium, a covert car pulled up to the shack. Out stepped two official looking government types.
The reactions were varied. Many people carried on as if nothing was happening. Luna made herself scarce, but watched in interest.
Rainbow Dash groaned. "Great. Agents… Always fun."
Twilight sighed. "I suppose we better go talk to them… hello misters, what brings you here?"
"I'm Agent Powers." A tall, older man said, flashing his ID. "This is Agent Trigger, my associate. We are here to investigate something of the utmost importance. We must ask, have you seen anything unusual around here?"
While Twilight was attempting to discern if these were Mulder and Scully type agents or the bad government type, Lyra was having a completely different reaction.
She stormed into the Mystery Shack. "STAN! THERE ARE GOVERNMENT AGENTS HERE!" She grabbed her hair. "We've got to burn all the evidence!"
Stan blinked. "You know I'm supposed to be the one that freaks out at this point, right?"
Lyra grabbed him. "We. Have. To. Hide. All. The. Magic. Stuff."
Stan nodded. "Of course… Speed cleaning! SOOS!"
"Yes Mister Pines?" The large man responded.
"Put up the fake wall, take out all the old attractions, and try to sell some government agents some overpriced shirts!"
"On it!"
"Lyra, you're with me. You're the cataloguer-"
"Actually that's Bon Bon. She's got everything organized."
"Whatever. She's not here right now. You're the next best thing. Find all the stuff and throw it down a trapdoor. And we just cross our fingers and hope Pinkie doesn't-"
The sound of Pinkie's trademark "NEW PERSON!" gasp was heard.
"-Do that." Stan said, rubbing his forehead. "We're doomed."
Lyra shrugged. "It gives us more chance to hide stuff. HURRY UP."
Outside, Pinkie was greeting the agents. "Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! You may know me as the creator of the Pinkie Emporium!" She bowed, still in her pony-performer state. "You must forgive my form, the tricks are a bit hard to deal with over hundreds of miles." She grinned sheepishly.
Rainbow Dash and Twilight simply stared at her, slack jawed.
Trigger began to snicker. Powers turned to him. "What is that sound you are making?"
"It's a laugh." Trigger responded. "You should learn it sometime."
"Ha. Ha. Ha. I fail to see the merit in this sound."
Trigger face palmed. Powers turned to the girls. "Girls, you must tell us, have you seen anything weird around here?"
Twilight cast the silence spell on Pinkie, hoping the pink mare would get the hint to not say anything. "Not really, unless you count this karaoke party here. It's really weird."
The human form of Bulk Biceps and Manly Dan were having a "YEAAAAAH" contest on stage.
Powers blinked. "How is that weird?"
Trigger face palmed. "Sometimes I wonder why you're in charge of this division."
"I was told it was because I was not easily fazed."
Trigger sighed. "You, girls, no weird stuff?" The girls shook their heads. "Good. We shall be off."
Powers nodded, handing them the card. "Spread these around, anyone can call us if they saw weird things this way. Now we must speak with the owner of this establishment."
"Establishment." Trigger emphasized.
Twilight tensed. Great. The inside of the Shack was undoubtedly filled with magical artifacts and things that would draw a lot of unwanted attention, and it was always annoying to deal with government types. She tried to think of a way out of this-
Soos walked up to the Agents. "Hey doods want to buy some shirts?"
"Why on earth would I want a cougar shirt?" Powers asked.
Trigger shrugged. "I think it looks cool, but I think it's a mountain lion."
"PUMA!" Someone in the crowd yelled.
"PANTHER!" Tyler yelled in response.
"TABBY CAT!" McGucket yelled. Everyone fell silent. McGucket groaned, walking off in a huff.
Powers shook his head. "We do not need to waste our time with pointless paraphernalia."
Stan poked his head out of the Shack. "Why on earth wouldn't you want to buy my shirts? Come on you two, come in, come in, a Shack of Mystery awaits…
Five minutes later the Agents had bought two-hundred bucks worth of useless junk, and and decided that there was nothing worthwhile in the Shack.
Stan and Lyra bumped fists. A job well done.
"Now we just have to find Bon Bon…" Stan said, looking over the crowd. "We need to recatalogue everything we just shoved into Pinkie's mane…"
Meanwhile, in Roswell, Pinkie reached into her mane to find a rubber chicken.
She found a skull of lost secrets instead. That had a bombchu in it.
"Uh oh." Pinkie said. She quickly tossed the object behind her, where it instantly exploded. It reacted with the eldritch walls, creating a strange fractal pattern which instantly turned everyone's head into cupcakes.
Pinkie sighed, waving her wand and changing everyone back. "Sorry about that folks, looks like I misplaced my rubber chicken!"
Everyone laughed at that. Well, those who weren't suffering a cupcake-related existential crisis.
"I wonder if we actually detected anything last night…"
Powers shrugged. "The techies can debate it when we get back."
"Back" Trigger emphasized.
"Actually, you two won't have to go anywhere."
The two agents whirled around, guns drawn. Before them was a really short person, dressed all in black. Her pink and blue curled hair at her sides. She lifted her sunglasses. "You've been lied to."
"And just who are you?" Powers asked.
"Who?" Trigger emphasized.
"The name is Drops. Sweetie Drops. And there is much more going on than you're privy to…"
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22.17 (GMBlackjack): [My Little Pony] / [Gravity Falls] - also compiled in MLP Time Loops as part of MLP Loops: Gravity Falls.
Gravity Falls: Friendship is Magic 17: Lyra alone
"Hey Rainbow Dash, I found out that there may be a hidden bunker beneath a tree in the woods, want to check it out?"
Lyra was greeted only with the sound of the harpie sleeping on a cloud.
Lyra rolled her eyes. "Hey Twilight, want to go exploring?"
"Can't right now Lyra." Twilight said, levitating Journals 2 and 3 in front of her, opened on the pages that seemed to connect. In front of the journals were many technologically advanced components, presumably from her Pocket. "I'm trying to figure out what this is…"
Lyra rolled her eyes. "You realize we'll need Journal 1 to complete that right?"
"Doesn't mean I can't experiment." Twilight said, moving the pieces around. "Maybe it needs to be bigger…"
Lyra shrugged, walking down the stairs. "Hey Pinkie, want to-"
"Sorry can't! I accidentally opened up a portal to the Warp in the Emporium and I have to clean it up! Want to join me?"
Lyra blinked. "Uh… no."
"Okie! Good luck on that bunker!"
"How did you- never mind." Lyra decided to try Applejack next. "Hey Applejack, how about some adventuring?"
"Ahm sorry Lyra, I promised Luna I'd help her distract Celestia for a while. Poor girl needs some relax time."
Lyra nodded, furrowing her brow. Well she might as well ask Rarity.
"Stan! Darling! Do you happen to know how long your bathtub allows me to soak?"
"Uh…" The old man said, scratching his head. "I really don't know. Nobody's asked that before. Feel free to experiment with it as long as you want."
"GREAT!" Rarity said, rushing into the bathroom and locking herself in. Lyra sighed. Who else could there possibly be…
Minutes later, Lyra couldn't believe she was doing what she was doing.
"Hey, Fluttershy?"
"Oh, um. Hi. What brings you here?"
"I was looking for someone to go adventuring with."
"Oh I'm sorry…" Fluttershy said, frowning. "I've got to help the Gnomes rebuild their house since the dragon burnt it down."
Lyra drooped. "Okay… I get it…" She walked away, entering the Mystery Shack. She knew Soos wasn't even in the Shack today. The only other person she could think of right now-
"HEY BON BON! I know adventuring isn't your thing, but think of what we could uncover in a mysterious bunker!"
Bon Bon gave Lyra the "really?" look.
"Oh come on! Fun! High adventure! Mysteries!"
Bon Bon raised her eyebrow.
"You never know, it might be fun."
Bon Bon frowned.
"You're going to convince me to stop this line of conversation without even saying a word aren't you."
Bon Bon nodded.
Lyra groaned, leaving the Shack. Then she frowned. Why did she need anyone anyway? She explored all on her own all the time before she'd met everyone! She'd solve the mystery on her own!
She took the page she'd magically photocopied form the Journal, instructing her in how to access the bunker.
It was time to go Into the Bunker.
The place was amazing. So many traps, mysteries, posters, and items fit to prepare a small group for any kind of apocalypse, be it nuclear, cosmological, or even the destruction of the planet. She noted with some respect that the entire place was filled with vacuum sealed locks.
The Author must've been preparing for something big to happen thirty years ago. Something big and bad. Did he stop it from happening? After all, the world didn't appear to be recovering from any kind of apocalypse.
She popped a mini sweetroll into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. This was most interesting…
She found a door that led outside the bunker and into a large cavern, supposedly where the Author would keep experiments too large to keep in the sealed building. She ventured out, curious. She walked up to a glass cylinder that was cracked and broken. Whatever'd been in there was long gone.
Or it was still in here, waiting to slurk up her brains.
Lyra quickly took out her own journal, flipping to the pages that had quick and easy-to-use spells on it. She looked around cautiously.
Then she heard something roar. Something big. She whirled around, seeing a shadow of some kind of strange, tentacled monster. A really, really big tentacled monster.
She shouted out the words for a fire spell, launching a jet of flame before turning tail and running.
With annoyance she realized she didn't have time to open the vacuum sealed doors. She ran deeper into the cave.
She could hear it chasing her. Making strange slimy noises. She grunted, leaping over rock after rock, stalagmite after stalagmite. Or was it stalactite? That thought caused her to lose focus and run right into a stalactite. She fell to the ground dazed. In her daze, she saw the shadow of the creature rearing up, ready to move in. Then the shape of a man attacked the creature, tearing out its tongue. The creature roared in frustration, and Lyra heard it scuttle away.
The man walked up to her. "Well, that was a little bit of a change to the routine. There usually isn't anyone to protect from the beast." He smiled, his strange mustache quivering. "Welcome to my bunker."
Lyra's eyes widened. "You.. You… YOU'RE THE AUTHOR OF THE JOURNALS?"
"Why yes my girl. Been stuck down here for a while though. The creature is most savage."
Lyra stared at him. "I have a couple billion questions to ask you, can you answer them all in sequence and as detailed as possible?"
"Not right now. The creature is on the prowl. I don't really have a way to stop it, I lost most of my research along with my Journals…"
Lyra frowned. "I don't have Journals 2 or 3 with me right now, and we have no idea where 1 is but…" Her eyes lit up, showing her journal. "I keep my personal notes in here! It's got spells and all sorts of stuff."
The Author's eyes widened. "Most intriguing!" He grabbed the journal, beginning to flip through it. He smiled. "Ah yes, I can use this. Come, I can get us out of here now. All we have to do is lay down this ice spell. The creature hates the cold."
Lyra nodded, following him. This was so exciting! Finally the man with all the answers! At long last!
…all they had to do was get out of here without being eaten.
Great…
"So, question… why did you make this place?"
"An enemy of mine was plotting to end the world. Obviously that didn't happen since you're here, but it was nothing more than a precaution anyway… Hey look! I found a tongue!"
Lyra found herself rather fascinated with how the Author licked the tongue to test it. "It seems… salty. Cook it to medium rare and there'll be a good meal." He tossed it to Lyra, who grabbed it, grinning. She was holding the next meal! So awesome!
It did not occur to Lyra that something was off. Fresh meat just randomly around a completely sealed off cave with no signs of life aside from her, the Author, and the creature? Completely normal. And who cared anyway she was with the Author! So cool!
Then there was the sound of a door opening.
"Huh… I wonder who that could be…"
"Possibly one of my friends. They do know I'm down here." Lyra offered.
"We must get to them before the creature!" And the Author took off into the caves, bounding forward almost like a dog.
Lyra blinked, then shrugged. Then she realized something.
"HEY CAN I HAVE MY JOURNAL BACK?"
Evidently, the Author didn't hear her. Lyra sighed, running after him.
They soon came to the door, which was sealed once more. The Author was looking around, evidentially sniffing at everything. "Open the door while I attempt to figure out where your friend went… or where the creature is…" He sniffed some more. "Hrm… red hair. Interesting."
Lyra reached towards the sealed door, ready to open it. Then something caught her eye. "Why is it glowing blue?"
"It's a substance that keeps the creature from getting out." The Author said dismissively.
"..Then why haven't you gotten out?"
"The creature is usually guarding it. The thing isn't a fan of me after all…"
Lyra thought for a second. She decided the story wasn't that unusual, given what she'd seen in Gravity Falls lately-
Then she heard a sound. She looked down to see a tin can at her feet, displaying a mascot for some kind of bean product.
A mascot which looked exactly like the Author.
Lyra froze, heart racing. This was not the Author was it… She turned around slowly, to see the Author inches away from her face. "I'd really like to know where you got that can…"
Lyra began to chant, but the Author's arm changed shape into a strange gelatinous substance that covered her mouth. "Shh…. no loud magic here little girl. None at all. Just you, me…" He grinned, turning his other hand into a chainsaw. "And a chainsaw."
He - no it - began to chuckle as it raised the saw. "I can use your friend to open the door if I must, or I can just wait for the others to show up." He slowly began to change form, into a strange white creature that looked very, very alien. The red eyes blinked. "And all of them will die coming to save you."
Lyra heard a "SHINK." The shapeshifter's eyes widened. He howled in pain, releasing Lyra. An axe had been embedded in his back.
"So…" The shapeshifter said, turning around. "The other one has an axe? How pitiful." He gagged, indicating that he was really injured.
Wendy rolled her eyes. "You need to practice your pretending not to be injured."
"I am a shapeshifter! I will destroy you-"
Lyra cast the ice spell on him, surrounding him in a block of ice.
Wendy clapped. "Good job."
Lyra frowned. "I… I was completely fooled by him until you tossed me that can…"
"Don't mention it." Wendy said, smiling. "It was just teamwork. Now let's loot this place for cool stuff and get out." Wendy grinned. "I'm going to so deck out my room."
Lyra smiled, reaching for her journal. Then she groaned.
"Hey Wendy… think that axe can work as an icepick?"
As Wendy and Lyra took a while to tear Lyra's journal out of the Shapeshifter's very frozen hands, Twilight still held the two journals. In front of her was a very obviously incomplete device. It looked like two corners of a triangle.
"What the hay is this?" She asked, cocking her head. "There's nothing on the other pages in the journals that suggest anything about it! It's completely different.." She frowned. "Wait… maybe Journal 1 is different than the others… Perhaps it's more technical…"
Rainbow Dash dropped in. "Hey Twi, what's up?"
"This highly advanced machine is buried within these journals. I have been able to deduce that it channels a large portion of magical and nuclear energy over time to do.. something to the fabric of reality. I don't know what." She frowned. "It's bugging me."
Rainbow Dash nodded. "I wonder what it could be…"
Pinkie popped up from nowhere. "Maybe it's a tool that unites long lost family!"
"Yeah Pinkie I don't think that's it." Twilight said, chuckling. "It has a more… scientific purpose, I'm sure."
Pinkie simply shrugged, bouncing off.
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22.18 (GMBlackjack): [My Little Pony] / [Gravity Falls] - also compiled in MLP Time Loops as part of MLP Loops: Gravity Falls.
Gravity Falls: Friendship is Magic 18: Sock War
"Well yesterday surely was interesting." Rainbow Dash said.
"Eeyup." Applejack responded, sipping her drink.
"Do you think that Sunset's okay?"
"She can take care of some pathetic golf ball people."
"You sure?"
"Pretty sure." Applejack said, downing her drink.
Rainbow Dash shrugged. "If you say so…"
Meanwhile, in the mini golf course-
"Can I go now? Pacifica probably needs me-"
"NEVER!" Franz said, holding up a tiny pencil. "YOU WILL WATCH OUR CHOREOGRAPHED DANCES FOR ETERNITY!"
Sunset sighed.
Back at the Shack, Rainbow rolled her eyes. "At least Pacifica isn't a complete jerk."
Applejack shrugged. "Still not a fan of her."
"She's not a fan of you either. But at least she's not the epitome of evil." Rainbow Dash frowned. "Though she doesn't seem to care about her family being founded on a fraud…"
Applejack shrugged.
Twilight ran into the room. "Rainbow Dash! Now is the time!"
"For what?"
"Lyra brought back a password-protected laptop from the Bunker. We're going to hack into it."
Rainbow Dash's eyes lit up. "Answers... A laptop possibly created by the Author… Gimme that." Rainbow said, grabbing the laptop and typing things in. "Password… Journal3… Journals…" Each password was promptly rejected by the computer. Rainbow Dash frowned. "Have a password spell Twilight?"
"Already tried it. It's enchanted."
Rainbow Dash cracked her knuckles. "I'm so going to get in here and find out all the answers… HEY LYRA WANT TO HELP?"
Twilight shook her head. "Lyra and Wendy are off adventuring, doing who knows what. Just you and me right now."
Rainbow shrugged. "Their loss… can't wait to crack the mysteries of this thing. It could have the information on Journal 1! Maybe it tells us what the device is! SO MANY ANSWERS!"
Pinkie grabbed a random book off the shelf. "Here's one on codes and secrets."
Rainbow groaned. "We're getting nowhere! Nothing! Nothing is helping! How are we going to hack into this thing?" She facedesked.
Twilight frowned. "I don't know…" She frowned. "Perhaps we should sleep on it, come back to it tomorrow."
Rainbow shook her head. "I am going to solve this if it kills me! Then I'll try again next loop! I'm going to get this done!"
Twilight blinked. "Rainbow? You okay? You've gotten… oddly attached to this."
"Twilight, you know I don't let anything beat me. And this laptop isn't going to be an exception!"
Twilight facehooved. "Good luck then. I'm going to go get some sleep-"
Their conversation was interrupted by the shrill sound of Pinkie getting angry. "You dare suggest that YOU could throw a better puppet party than the 'uncivilized hovel' I obviously would come up with?"
Pinkie was steaming mad, glaring at some kid with blonde hair in a ponytail. On his hands were two puppets. "Of course, my puppet shows are supreme. Just look at what I threw together in five minutes, a two puppet show with a curtain and a sound system. You just pulled out a marshmallow."
"But marshmallows can be eaten afterwards!"
"Eating isn't the point of a puppet show. Puppet shows are an art…"
"That's it. This Friday in the Auditorium I am going to have a puppet show the likes of which the world has never seen. And you. Will. Be. Impressed. I am Pinkie Pie, founder of the Pinkie Emporium! You have no idea who you've just challenged!"
"I've been to the Pinkie Emporium. Was lame. Lack of puppet shows."
Pinkie's pupils shrunk to a tiny size. She twitched. She walked away slowly before she did anything… hasty. "Friday…" She said. She turned to Twilight. "I'm sorry guys I've got to show this blonde-haired puppeteer that Pinkie is the master of all kinds of parties, INCLUDING PUPPETS." She ran off.
Twilight blinked.
Rainbow tried another password. A BEEP indicated she was incorrect yet again. Another facedesk occurred.
It was well past midnight. Rainbow was getting really tired, but she had become completely focused on the laptop. This was rather unlike her, quite frankly, to be typing password after password into a laptop. She had become fixated. She would not let it defeat her.
She was using both her hands and her wings, typing up a storm.
Only eight characters. She would eventually just find it.
But, deep down, she expected there was some kind of narrative causality in effect that prevented her from simply finding it by randomly typing things.
She groaned. She was going to need some help. But who would know…
She blinked. Standing in front of her was a familiar triangular shape.
"YOU CALLED?"
Rainbow Dash squinted. "You. I didn't call you."
"AH AH AH BUT I KNOW THE ANSWER LOYALTY! I CAN HELP YOU WITH YOUR LITTLE LAPTOP PREDICAMENT."
"It can't be that easy."
"FINE HAVE IT YOUR WAY, I'LL JUST GIVE YOU A HINT. BUT YOU NEED TO GIVE ME SOMETHING IN EXCHANGE."
"Yeah no deal." Rainbow Dash said, folding her hands. "Not a fan of you at the moment."
Bill shrugged. "YOUR LOSS. I HAVE ALL THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE UNIVERSE, AND A BIT FROM BEYOND, AND YOU'RE TURNING ME DOWN."
"Yeah. Obviously. You think I'm stupid?"
"YES. BUT THIS CHOICE IS FAR FROM A STUPID ONE. YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT, I GET WHAT I WANT-"
"Get lost Dorito."
Bill looked angry for a few seconds, then shrugged. "OH WELL. BY THE WAY, HERE'S MY IMPRESSION OF YOU IN A FEW SECONDS: ZZZZZZZZZZ WHA- OW!"
"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ" Suddenly, Rainbow Dash woke up with a "Wha?" She bonked her head on the overhang. "OW!"
She frowned. "He thinks he's very hilarious doesn't he…"
And she got back to work on the laptop.
"PEOPLE!" Pinkie announced. "WE NEED THE BIGGEST, BESTEST, MOST MIND BLOWING PUPPET PARTY OF ALL TIME." She grinned one of her creepy grins. "I've already rented out the Auditorium. We have it for Friday. There will be lasers, giant stuffed animals, dragons, wars, and an epic story of an ancient race that preceded the puppets! A RACE WITH FINGERS!"
Lyra raised an eyebrow. "Why does that seem familiar?"
Rarity rolled her eyes. "It's the tale of "Ancient Humans" in Equestria. Some Loops it's true, some Loops it's not."
"Oh, I have a similar theory. I call it Ancient Horses."
Rarity facehooved. "Of course you do."
Pinkie raised her hand. "I will be performing as a human rather than the normal pony performer I've been using. And I will have Twilight running the mechanics and the ropes and the pulleys and the special effects."
Twilight gave a thumbs up as she tinkered with an overly complicated pulley system.
"Lyra will be writing the script because Rainbow Dash is sleep deprived, Rarity will be making costumes, and the rest of everyone available will be spreading the word! THIS WILL BE A LEGENDARY SHOW! And Gabe will be forced to concede that I know how to run a puppet show!"
Twilight rolled her eyes. Sure, Pinkie was going a bit overboard. But this would be fun. It would no doubt be a puppet show to be remembered…
"Rainbow…" Twilight said, cocking her head.
"I WASN'T NAPPING! I was… resting my face on the screen. That's what. Trying to have the knowledge of the password float through my skull by process of diffusion. Yeah."
Twilight sighed. "Rainbow you know better than this! You know you need sleep!"
"Nah." Rainbow said, pulling a caffeine pill out of her pocket and shoving it into her mouth. "I've got supplies. I just forgot to take them."
Twilight blinked, rolling her eyes. "That's it, you've been like this for days. Goodnight Rainbow Dash."
"Wha-" Rainbow didn't even have time to register the sleep spell.
She woke up in dream land. "Oh horsefeathers…" She looked around, realizing the dreamscape looked almost exactly like her room-
"HELLO THERE LOYALTY, HOW'S IT GOING? HACKED ANY LAPTOPS LATELY? READY TO BECOME THE BEST SECURITY TESTER KNOWN TO MAN? HOW'S ABOUT I CALL MY AGENT, SEE IF HE CAN HOOK YOU UP TO REALITY SO YOU CAN BEND IT TO YOUR WILL!" Bill descended into crazy laughter.
"Look can you just get lost?" Rainbow Dash grunted.
"YEAH NOT HAPPENING. UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU I'M ALWAYS IN YOUR DREAMS. AND OOOH BOY DID I GET SOME NICE SNAPSHOTS! OVER THE COURSE OF THIS SUMMER!"
Rainbow Dash paled. "How much did you see?"
"ALL OF IT. INCLUDING THE LEPRECHAUNS AND THE CHERRIES. AND DISCORD'S ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL SENSE OF FASHION. NOT TO MENTION-"
"Shut up. Please."
"HRM… NAH. IT'S MORE FUN THIS WAY." Bill floated over to the laptop, looking at it. "YOU KNOW I'D STOP BUGGING YOUR DREAMS IF YOU JUST ACCEPTED MY DEAL. I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT TO HELP SOLVE THE MYSTERIES OF THIS TOWN AND I'LL GET OUT OF YOUR DREAMS FOR SOMETHING SMALL IN RETURN."
"Not happening, I still have time-"
Bill extended his finger and typed in a seemingly random string of numbers into the laptop. "OH LOOK, I'VE ARMED THE SELF DESTRUCT. THE ONLY WAY TO STOP IT IS TO TYPE IN THE CORRECT PASSWORD! I WONDER WHO WOULD KNOW THAT…"
Rainbow Dash's pupils shrunk. "Oh no…"
Bill extended his hand, lighting it up with blue fire. "I SAY YOU HAVE ABOUT TWO MINUTES. SO WHAT ABOUT IT LOYALTY? ALL I NEED IS ONE OF YOUR SIBLING'S PUPPETS."
Rainbow Dash's face contorted into a rather confused expression. "You just want to sabotage the puppet show? How…" She shook her head. "Nevermind, you can have one." She extended her hand.
Bill shook it, the fire engulfing the two. "NOW WE HAVE A DEAL! SO NOW WHICH PUPPET DO I WANT…"
"How about that one?" Rainbow Dash said, pointing to a random one on the ground. "Hurry that laptop is going to explode."
"THIS IS A DREAM, LOYALTY, THAT LAPTOP ISN'T EVEN REAL."
Rainbow Dash sputtered before face palming. "That… should have been obvious."
"NOW WHICH PUPPET DO I WANT… I WANT ONE THAT'S IMPORTANT… ONE THAT'S VERY USEFUL… ONE THAT WOULD DO ALMOST ANYTHING FOR THEIR SISTERS, NO QUESTIONS ASKED…"
Rainbow Dash turned to stare right at Bill. "Wait what?"
Bill cackled, grabbing Rainbow Dash's head. "GUESS WHAT? I CHOOSE YOU!"
In a split second, Rainbow Dash felt a tremendous psychic assault on her mind. She attempted to resist, forcing herself awake and entering alicorn form almost instantly. She put up as many mind-protection spells as she could think of within an instant. And she made sure she wasn't just going to let him in without a fight. She gritted her teeth.
She heard him laugh, and then her determination wavered as all those spells were shattered in an instant. She felt herself torn from her body, launched into the spiritual plane. She watched with horror as her now-alicorn body stood up, eyes glowing yellow. The pupils were unnatural. Bill began to laugh. "THIS IS AWESOME! NEVER HAD THIS KIND OF BODY BEFORE! AND WINGS TOO! WITH MAGIC! THIS IS STATE OF THE ART!"
"Hey!" Rainbow Dash said, steaming. "You give that back! It's mine!"
"WE MADE A DEAL, LOYALTY!"
"Oh yeah? Where's my hint?"
Bill grabbed the laptop and broke it under his hooves. "THERE'S YOUR HINT."
"Hey! That's not a hint!"
"YOU SHOULD LEARN LOYALTY THAT I ALWAYS KEEP MY DEALS. YOU HAVE YOUR HINT. AHAHAHAHHAHAH!" With that laugh, Bill clapped his front hooves together, turning into a harpie form. "THIS WILL BE MUCH MORE PREFERABLE. NOW… WHAT AM I GOING TO DO THIS TIME?"
"What do you mean this time?"
Bill turned to look Rainbow Dash right in the eye. "DO YOU HONESTLY THINK I COULD KICK YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND WITHOUT BEING LOOP AWARE? COME ON LOYALTY, EVEN I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE THAT DUMB."
Rainbow Dash paled. "Crap. Not one of you."
"YES ONE OF ME! ISN'T IT GREAT WHEN THERE'S NO WAY TO PREDICT SOMETHING? IT MUST MAKE YOUR LIVES MUCH MORE INTERESTING!"
Rainbow growled. "I'll stop you!" She rushed towards him, punching.
Bill laughed. "YOU'RE JUST A SPIRIT NOW. AND IN THIS UNIVERSE, THAT DOESN'T LET YOU HAVE A FANCY SWORD THE SIZE OF YOUR ENTIRE BODY. YOU CAN DO NOTHING. AND I CAN DO STUFF LIKE THIS!" Bill waved a hand, causing a strange bear-trap-like mechanical device to appear.
"HOW'S ABOUT… I DESTROY THE JOURNALS WITH THIS DEVICE SEEMINGLY DESIGNED TO DESTROY NOTHING BUT BOOKS?"
Rainbow Dash blinked. ...Why? Why a bear trap?
"NOW I'M OFF TO TURN SOME BOOKS INTO SCOOTERS! SEE YOU!" And with that, Bill flew out the window.
Rainbow Dash groaned. She was a spirit. That couldn't do anything. She floated down to the bottom floor of the Shack, waving her hooves. "TWILIGHT?"
Twilight just walked through her. Rainbow face palmed. Great. She couldn't sense her….
Maybe Pinkie could. It was worth a shot. She should be right over-
"TIME TO GO TO THE AUDITORIUM EVERYONE!" Pinkie yelled from a… train. A train that didn't exist two hours ago.
Rainbow attempted to get on the train, but it barreled away at Pinkie Pie speed. From the back of the train, she could see Bill. Bill in her body, waving at her with a rather amused look on his face.
Rainbow Dash went red with rage, and flew after them.
"Rainbow what are you doing with all that stuff?"
"Sifting through my Pocket." Bill said in a completely normal voice, lying through his teeth. He couldn't access the Pocket, he was just using spells to make things appear. "Seeing what there is. It's a real mess in there."
Twilight walked into the back of the train car, spitting out a drink. "RAINBOW? What are you doing here? I put you to sleep!"
"And I woke up." Bill said, twirling a golden cane. "What's your point?"
Twilight sputtered. Then she sighed. "You had an anti sleep charm active didn't you?"
Bill grinned, quickly causing an anti-sleep charm to come into existence. "I have a few of these."
Lyra looked at her. "Hey could I get one of those?"
"Sorry hands, all under my control right now. Perhaps you could come talk to me later."
Lyra groaned. "Why does everyone seem to think that I have to be fascinated with hands? Why?"
Bon Bon rolled her eyes. "Because you're fascinated with just about everything."
Bill looked out the back window at Rainbow Dash's very invisible spirit. He giggled. She wasn't going to be able to do anything.
He always enjoyed toying with them.
Pinkie pressed a button, and it all set up instantly. Show time was in less than a minute.
She grinned. This was going to be the best ever! Amazing! Phenomenal! Outstanding! And she was going to show that Gabe who was boss… Oooooooh yes…
She revved up the engine for the special effects. "LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED PEOPLE!"
At the edge of the stage, Bill set down the book eating device that looked oddly like a bear trap. He wound it up, and let it loose. He grinned. It would find all the Journals and eat them. And-
"ACK! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!" Rarity pointed at the machine and cast a magic missile at it, causing the sharp robot to explode.
Bill's eye twitched. There was more - "yawn" - where that came from. He caught himself yawning. Can't be shoved out of a body simply by getting exhausted now, that would be foolhardy. Needed to come up with another idea… A way to get Journal 1, 2, and Lyra's all at once without looking suspicious…
He grinned. He'd make it look like part of the play had gone wrong. And from a recent excursion into Lyra's mind he knew exactly when the real industrial strength lasers were going to come in… This would be great!
He just had to be up there during act 2…
Sure enough, as act 2 came, he found himself on top of the balcony, ready to activate the Journal-incinerating lasers. All three of them were in this building-
"It was really clever, making sure you didn't trigger my Pinkie Sense."
Bill froze. Then he let out a laugh. "WHY PINKIE, YOU KNOW I'M PLAYING A GAME HERE, AND I HAD TO TAKE SPECIAL MEASURES FOR YOU."
Beside Pinkie the spirit of Rainbow Dash floated up. "You're not going to get any of those Journals, Dorito."
Bill turned to Pinkie. "I KNOW YOU CAN'T SEE HER. HOW'D YOU KNOW?"
"Well, Rainbill Bash, she had to possess my tail and make it twitch. Then I'd realized I hadn't felt my Pinkie Senses in a long time, almost all week. So I knew something was wrong. It wasn't that hard to find you after that."
Bill shrugged. "YOU ARE MOST INTERESTING, PINKIE PIE. BUT ALL I HAVE TO DO IS PRESS THIS BUTTON-"
Pinkie was suddenly standing in top of the laser machine, somehow having already driven a stake through it. "You were saying?"
Bill groaned. "THIS. THIS IS WHY I HATE BEING STUCK IN THE MINDSCAPE." He shrugged. "OH WELL I CAN JUST SHOOT THEM MYSELF I SUPPOSE. I CAN PROBABLY LASER ONE OR TWO WITH MY OWN POWER BEFORE ANYONE REALIZES WHAT'S UP. I SHALL RAIN DOWN FIERY NACHO CHEESE!" As "Rainbill Bash" raised his (her? its?) hands, it seemed as if lightning crackled.
Then Pinkie tackled the body to the ground, and began talking at several thousand words a second. "And so then I thought "Arrows? Why arrows? It's like oatmeal! We need a big load of the things before we can even consider providing Lyra her pants which reminds me we need to make jeggings and socks a thing for the masses to enjoy along with balloons and parties and cake and caffeine and happy fun-"
Bill blinked. "WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING? HOW DOES THIS-"
He saw the spirit of Rainbow Dash holding her ears in pain. "Make it stop…"
Bill sighed. "WELL CRAP. THIS BODY CAN'T HANDLE THE NOISE. HEY LOYALTY, YOUR CAPACITY TO HANDLE YOUR OWN FRIEND'S BANTER SUCKS."
"Too… much… talking…"
Bill felt himself tossed from the body. He sighed. He was just talked out of it. It didn't even make logical sense.
Then again, he supposed that was why he liked Pinkie Pie. He shrugged.
"I'M COMING BACK, AND WHEN I DO, I WON'T BE INCONVENIENCED SO EASILY!"
Then he vanished from the material realm.
Rainbow Dash managed to crawl back into her body, groaning. "I… I need sleep…"
"Yes. Yes you do." Twilight cast the sleep spell again. Rainbow Dash began to sleep (and snore) soundly.
Pinkie grinned. "Yay another problem solved!"
"THAT PUPPET SHOW SUCKED!" Gabe yelled from the crowd.
"TALK TO THE PARTY CANNON YOU UNAPPRECIATIVE HOOFBAG!"
BLAM.
"Agent Sweetie Drops calling in. Evidently there is a being capable of possession at large working against the sextuplets. I can almost definitely assure everyone that this being, whoever or whatever he is, is not a potential ally of any sort. We must guard carefully against him. A full transcript of what I overheard follows.
He seems to be planning something large scale. Lyra had mentioned him before, but I had dismissed him as simply a creature of dreams.
He is planning something, something big, and we are all wrapped up in it."
sity nij ypt tl cowcjvr, mvt zl yaa zpzp esiurj ux uja dwfenl khia bvjzoe wegekgt.
22.19 (GMBlackjack): [My Little Pony] / [Gravity Falls] - also compiled in MLP Time Loops as part of MLP Loops: Gravity Falls.
Gravity Falls: Friendship is Magic 19: The one that is regular snip sized.
"We stopped the unholy combination of dating simulators and Five Night's at Freddy's!" Pinkie Pie said, a grin plastered across her face.
Rainbow Dash was staring at a wall, pondering life. "I… I feel so proud right now. We did it."
"Why is Rainbow Dash so… blank faced?" Twilight asked.
Pinkie shrugged. "I think the blow to the head had something to do with it."
"I feel like there is a metaphor to life…"
"Or maybe she sampled Tree Hugger's pizza…"
Stan threw open the door at the very nondescript human who had arrived at his door.
"GO AWAY BEFORE I MAKE YOU ONE OF MY EXHIBITS!"
The human, whose gender was completely indeterminate, ran off in fear. Heh. I love doing that.
"BUT I COULD HELP YOU COMPLETE IT!"
"No." Twilight said, ignoring the Dorito.
"OR I COULD JUST TELL YOU WHAT IT DOES…"
"No." Twilight responded. "I will not fall for your tricks."
Bill shrugged, before giving Twilight a nightmare about a quesadilla.
Compiler's note: Okay then.