A/N I think my Rayne well might be running a little dry, so if you want more, you may have to offer me a prompt. I can't promise it will be any good, but I promise to have a go ;-)

Oh, and Irishbrneyes, I stayed up until gone 2am to finish this; I blame you for this ;-)

This fic is set after Objects in Space, but before the Big Damn Movie.

A Kiss with a Fist

"He kissed her once before," River said.

This was the fourth day running she'd come to watch him work out. Deep dark eyes a mystery that made his skin itch. He'd tried scaring her off, but she didn't scare so good these days. Not since her crowing victory over Early. So, in the end, he'd asked her what she wanted, figuring that giving it to her was the quickest way to get her to leave him alone.

He'd nearly dropped the barbell when she asked for a kiss. His response of "Hell, no!" had led to her inexplicable statement and then a painful crick in his neck as his head jerked round to look at her.

"No, I never! You're talkin' crazy, Crazy." He manoeuvred the weight back onto its stand and stood up.

River nodded emphatically. "Did. After she set him free from the blue, he kissed her right here." She brushed her lower lip with the back of her fist. Jayne was about to vehemently refute this claim once more when something in her words made him pause.

"What do you mean you set me free?"

"Jayne was bathed in blue – swallowing the red, swallowing the life force. The girl thought she could help him; she chose the wrong implement, but he kissed her anyway." She smiled at him shyly.

"Gorramit, girl, you talkin' 'bout when you damn near split me open with that butcher's knife? You wasn't helpin' – and I didn't kiss you! I knocked you on your ass as you ruttin' well deserved!"

River's glow slowly faded. She brushed her mouth again sadly. "A kiss with a fist is better than none," she whispered.

Jayne paused, feeling a twinge of conscience. "Girlie… that weren't no kiss. That's not what kisses are like."

River shrugged. "It's the only kiss the girl has ever received."

He scowled at her. "What about your parents – your brother?"

River shook her head. "Progenitors were always proper – maintaining proper parameters; gave life, but not love. Left its mark on Simon, too: able to love but unable to show it through tangible touch... So, the girl was glad to receive Jayne's kiss."

Now, that weren't right. Jayne felt another annoying twinge. "Well, look… that ain't what kisses are like – they're soft… and sweet... You give 'em outta love, not anger." Mostly, he silently amended, but he didn't much fancy going into an explanation of the rougher side of adult play.

River tilted her head. "Is that why Jayne won't kiss on the mouth? He doesn't love the whores?"

Jayne paused again. Gorram girl was always pickin' up things she shouldn't; too gorram perceptive for her own gorram good! Well, Jayne wasn't about to get into that kind of fluffy gǒu shǐ.

"Jayne don't kiss on the mouth because Jayne don't want to!" He glared at her. "Jayne's business with the whores is just that – his business. Kissin' is for loved up dāi zi like Kaylee and your brother – if he ever pulls that stick out his pì gu."

River's face fell. "Then the girl will never be kissed."

"What?"

"The girl is too different – too broken. She left for the Academy too soon for kisses, and now it is too late. Jayne saw what it was like on Ariel – saw what they did to the girl. She will never be normal; she will never have normal things like kisses…" Her voice trailed off into the merest whisper; her shoulders hunched in utter defeat.

Jayne winced. Did she hafta mention Ariel? He didn't tend to have attacks of the conscience but that memory caused more than just a twinge…. He looked at River, wondering if she was trying to make him feel bad, but her doll-like face just looked indescribably sad. Wǒ de mā – were those tears glistening? Ugh.

"Okay – fine!" he said.

River looked confused. "The girl doesn't understand."

"You can have one kiss – one!" He stuck a finger under her nose for emphasis. "On the condition that you don't tell no one, and you leave me be for at least a month."

River looked radiantly happy. "The terms of the contract are agreeable; the girl will not break them."

"Alrigh'," Jayne said, whilst part of him, the manly mercenary part, died a little. He stepped forward, and with much the same air as a man deliberately approaching a deadly snake, wound one arm round River's trim waist. She felt wonderfully warm, her long, lean body slotting perfectly inside his embrace like it was made for her. At that moment, some instinct, some thread of self-preservation, warned him to get the hell outta there. He hesitated.

But then River took matters into her own hands – literally.

Cradling his head in her hands, she pulled it down to hers, and kissed him with a fiery passion that took him completely by surprise.

He had expected a tentative, nèn kiss. For a beginner, River seemed to have more than a grasp of the basics, shaping her lips to his and angling her head for better access. Jayne's nerve endings crackled into startled life. His arms tightened round her of their own accord, pulling her closer; he had to have a stern word, reminding them that River didn't know what she was doing, that her actions were innocent, and that he'd be a ruttin' hún dàn to take advantage. Unfortunately, at that point, River stuck her tongue in his mouth, and all good intentions sailed into the Black. Jayne growled and threw her up against the wall, poised to taste, ravage, claim…

The sound of Kaylee's chatter floating along the corridor above made him leap back like he was clutching a nettle. Seconds later, Kaylee and Simon came into view, making their way along the catwalk and down to the cargo bay.

"Hey, River; hey, Jayne!" Kaylee beamed at them, clearly thrilled to have Simon's company.

Damn. River immediately assumed her blankest expression and began twiddling her hair round her finger. Jayne folded his arms and braced his shoulders against the wall, trying to get his body to relax; it was still coiled with delicious tension and roaring at him to get back to it. He decided to direct the tension elsewhere, and lookee here, here was one of his favourite targets.

"Hey, Doc," he snarled, "you're an idiot."

Kaylee gasped. "Jayne! Why you gotta be so mean? He weren't doin' nothin'!"

Simon rolled his eyes. "Forget it, Kaylee – for a simian experiment gone wrong that was practically well bred." He stepped up to Jayne, chin raised. "Do we have a problem?"

"Just the same thing as always, Doc," Jayne sneered. "You bein' a Core-bred pansy. All those drugs and gǒu shǐ you pump into your sister, it didn't never occur to you to give her somethin' she wanted?"

Whatever he'd been expecting, it wasn't that. Simon blinked. "What?"

"You're willin' to be a big damn hero and bust her outta school-jail, but you ain't willin' to show her a little affection?"

Simon looked bewildered. "Jayne, I have even less idea of what you're talking about than usual."

"Why've you never kissed her?"

His expression progressed to bemused. "What?" he said again.

"Not a kiss on the mouth," Jayne hastened to add. "That would be all pervy-like. But you could at least have kissed her on the cheek!"

Simon frowned at him, anger apparently defused. "What are you talking about, Jayne? I have kissed River on the cheek. Many times."

It was Jayne's turn to look bewildered. "You have?"

He shrugged. "Of course. Our parents were never very demonstrative, but that doesn't mean River and I weren't. River loved kisses as a child: she'd wheedle them from anyone she could – if she liked them. True, not from our parents, but she pretty much had everyone else wrapped round her finger." His lips quirked in a rare smile of reminiscence. "I remember catching her kissing the gardener's son just before she went to the Academy – he was five years older than she, but she blackmailed him into it." The smile stretched to a grin. "She was such a brat."

Jayne turned a horrified and outraged gaze on River, who tried to retain her expression of wide-eyed innocence… but her lips twitched and she burst out laughing.

She started twirling around the room singing, "A kiss with a Jayne is better than none!" She stopped suddenly, slyly smiling. "Much better than none." The look in her eyes made Jayne wanna wring her scrawny neck... but also had him fightin' the urge to stride across the deck and snatch her into another kiss, audience bedamned.

She really was a brat.

A/N 2 "A kiss with a fist is better than none" is a lyric from the song of the same name by Florence and the Machine. Those looking for more insight into River's claim here of why she attacked Jayne might be interested in reading another Rayne fic I wrote, "The Crimson Stain", which can also be found on my Fanfiction profile.

Glossary:

dāi zi – suckers; fools

gǒu shǐ – s**t

hún dàn – bastard

nèn – inexperienced

pì gu – ass

wǒ de mā – mother of God