Disclaimer: All Disney works are the property of The Walt Disney Company. All other characters and settings are the property of their respective legal owners.
Author's note: Originally posted by Anon e Mouse Jr. on 2020-06-20. This is the first of two chapters posted today.
Disney/Kingdom Hearts Loops, Chapter Thirty-Seven
37.1 (Anon e Mouse Jr.): [Kingdom Hearts] / [The Evil Dead]
Sora sighed as he stepped out of Traverse Town's Accessory Shop for the second time this Loop, when a voice startled him.
"They'll come at you out of nowhere," it said. "And they'll keep on coming at you, as long as you wield the Keyblade."
Sora jumped, turning to see… Okay, not Leon. "Who are you?"
The man, who had messy black hair, a square jaw, a blue shirt and jeans, a chainsaw in place of one hand and a shotgun held in the other, grinned. "Name's Ash." He cocked the gun. "Housewares."
Sora whipped out his Keyblade. "Sora. Keyblade Wielder."
"Oh yeah? Then, Keyblade wielder, come get some!" The man promptly revved his chainsaw and charged, and Sora grinned. This was going to be fun…
Several minutes later, both were breathing heavy, and Ash had slung his shotgun across his back. "Well," he said. "That was an interesting fight."
"Yeah," Sora panted with a grin. "Not too often I face a guy with a chainsaw."
"Didn't think you had," Ash panted as he grinned back. "Of course, as Loopy as I am, I've probably run into a lot stranger things than you have."
"Don't count on it," Sora shot back. "I'm an Anchor of stability, and I've met some pretty odd things over the eons."
"Local Anchor?" Ash perked up, and a moment later, Sora felt the Ping. Responding with one of his own, he saw Ash react and smiled.
"And here I thought I was the only Looper around," the older man said as he tucked his Chainsaw into his Pocket and came back out with a metal gauntlet-like hand in its place. "So where am I, anyway?"
"Traverse Town in the Kingdom Hearts branch. I'm from the Destiny Islands originally though - you?"
"Evil Dead branch." Ash stuck out his flesh-and-blood hand. "I'm its Anchor and only known Looper."
"Ouch." Sora stuck out his own hand and shook Ash's. "So, how much do you know about this branch so far?"
"I know I've been fighting things here that aren't quite as freaky as those Deadites back home," Ash replied. "And it looks like I'm replacing some friend of yours."
"Yeah, Leon. Or Squall Leonheart, depending on the Loop. I have local versions of some Final Fantasy Loopers in my branch; he's one of them."
"Sounds like fun." Ash grinned again. "So, what's next?"
About ten worlds later, Sora found himself facing Cloud and Ash in the Olympus Coliseum - unlike normally, he'd asked Donald and Goofy to let him handle this one on his own. Right now though, he was wishing he had some help.
"That the best you can do?" Cloud yelled as he charged.
"Hardly!" Sora shot back as he dodged the blonde's sword strike, then swung his own Keyblade to block Ash's chainsaw. "Wind!"
The Aeroga barrier sprang into existence around him, deflecting Ash's shotgun blast, and Sora jumped out of the way.
"Nice try." Ash swung his chainsaw at Sora again.
Sora deflected it once more, then swung around. "Back off!"
A flurry of blows followed, and then a barrage of projectiles, the last sending Ash into the edge of the arena, leaving him somewhat dazed. Sora then turned to focus his attention on Cloud, and within a few minutes, had knocked him out. As Ash charged one more time, Sora counterattacked.
That was enough to end the battle.
Falling back, Ash panted, but then grinned. "Nice fight, kid."
"Thanks," Sora replied.
"Here." Ash pulled something out of his pocket. "For beating me. Should come in handy."
Reaching out, Sora took it, and investigated the shotgun shell, which seemed to have a chain attached. Shrugging, he hooked it to his Keyblade, replacing the Oblivion Keychain he'd had before.
Shimmering, the Keyblade changed form, and Sora studied it. Its hilt now resembled a shotgun stock, but with a grip in the middle, while its main body resembled two long tubes right next to one another, each with the serrated edges of a chainsaw blade running around the edges, giving it the appearance of a pin tumbler key like Fenrir instead of the lever lock key design that most of his Keyblades had.
Ash grinned at the sight. "Looks like you got your own Boomstick now, kid."
"Yeah." Sora looked at it and smiled. "This should be fun."
37.2 (lord Martiya): [Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir] / [My Little Pony]
"So, I heard this is a relatively calm Loop outside the monster attacks…" Twilight Sparkle started as she talked to the local Anchor, one Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Who was looking at her with a rather weird look. "Do I have something on my face?"
"You're Twilight Sparkle." Marinette said.
"Yes."
"You're a unicorn princess."
"Technically alicorn, but it includes unicorn traits, and I did start out as one."
"You grant wishes to good kids, don't you?"
"Sometimes…"
"And you are replacing Alya."
"And?"
Suddenly, Marinette started laughing hard, even rolling herself on the floor and crying.
"I don't get it, what's so strange?" Twilight asked when Marinette calmed down.
The only answer she got was another round of laughter.
37.3 (wildrook): [DuckTales] / [Sleeping Beauty - implied]
"UNCLE SCROOGE!" a voice yelled, revealing a familiar duck.
"Donald," Scrooge muttered, "if this is about the nephews, I assure you, Louie's learned an important lesson about hard work."
Donald gave him a blank stare. "That, I already know. I'm just more angry at who you hired as the archivist!"
Scrooge returned one back. "First off, she's my best defense against people like Magica de Spell," he said. "Second, we all know what happens when you manage to anger one of the Fae. Third, there's a reason why I pay so much for my anti-curse defenses."
"But hiring Maleficent!?"
"I reiterate my second point as to why I hired her as the archivist in the first place."
Donald face-palmed. "How cheap was she?"
"That's what drew me to her in the first place. You'd be surprised what kind of things she can think up when she's not forcing the waiting game on an unsuspecting couple... or trying not to control forces that are beyond either of our comprehension."
"So, what happens when she decides to backstab you and steal the Number One Dime?"
Scrooge gave him a glare. "As long as we don't try to anger her," he said, "that's a bridge I'm not going to cross unless absolutely necessary. Do I look like Glomgold to you?"
And that's when they heard the sound of fire breathing, looking outside as they saw a duck that had black hair face off against a dragon that was breathing green fire.
"Speaking of attempts to steal the Number One Dime," Scrooge muttered, "point number one makes itself known."
Donald just gave him a stare. "Fine," he muttered, "but if she tries anything funny, call me and Goofy immediately before you confront her."
"Lad, I'm just as talented in the mystic arts as you are. I'll still keep that in mind, but not because I need help."
"What, do you keep the Spear of Destiny locked up?"
"It's next to the Deus Ex Calibur within a lampshade next to the bookcase." Donald just gave him a stare. "Sometimes the best places to hide a deadly weapon is in plain sight." Cue the green fire as a gryphon with a familiar green talisman can be seen. "And it looks like Merlock's joined the fight. He must be upset that I planned the trip for Collie Baba's treasure stash earlier than expected." He then opened the window. "Maleficent, word of advice: Merlock wished for immortality!"
"Keeping that in mind, McDuck!" Maleficent yelled, still in dragon form as she countered a magic blast.
Donald then groaned as Scrooge closed the window. "Why is it that your money bin is the place where all the crazies gather?" he asked Scrooge.
"Half of them work for me," the old Scottish duck replied, "the others just come out of the woodwork just to bring an evil plot to me or the family as a whole. You know how many enemies I make."
"That, I'm well-aware of."
37.4 (Wookywok): [Phineas and Ferb] / [Odd Squad]
"OOOOOOOOOOOOSCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!"
A strange kid popped up from behind a chair in Ms. O's office. That wasn't the strange part. Oscar did that all the time. But this clearly was not Oscar. Instead of the usual light brown… however Oscar did his hair at this point time, this kid had dark brown hair, neatly parted straight down the middle. In addition, his chin jutted out at an awkward angle, and his nose was almost cartoonishly large. He began to speak with an accent that Ms. O couldn't place.
"Hello! I'm assuming you've called for me, yes? Because if you didn't, that would be really awkward. I mean, seriously, how annoying is it when someone calls your name and it turns out they were talking to someone else-"
Ms. O glared at the unexpected guest. "You're not the Oscar I know."
"Are you sure, because from what I can remember, I'm the main scientist in the labs here at Odd Squad, and…" The mystery kid's eyes widened in what appeared to be realization. "Dumb question, but… have you been repeating the same things over and over? Like time is Looping over and over again?"
Ms. O's glare softened, though not by much. "Yes, actually. Do you know why?" Her glare returned to its previous sharpness. "Are you behind this?"
The kid looked a bit taken aback. "No, no, no. This isn't my fault. I'm just as much affected by this as you are. But anyways," he continued, "I was actually a bit unprepared to meet a new looper here. And by unprepared I mean COMPLETELY PREPARED! MUHAHAHAHA!" He cleared his throat. "Sorry, force of habit. Now, where was I? Oh, yes."
The kid reached behind his back and pulled out a large machine. It appeared to be part film projector, part microwave, and part soda fountain, among other machines that Ms. O couldn't identify. "BEHOLD! My new, improved, Welcome-to-the-Multiverse-Inator! MUHA-" He caught himself before he could finish his evil laugh. "Anyways, this baby will give you the basic rundown of the situation. It's long, though, so I've got snacks." He pulled a bag of popcorn out of the microwave, pouring it into a bowl that had suddenly popped out of the device. He turned to Ms. O. "Want some?"
Ms. O shook her head. "No thanks. Just show me the video." She grabbed her juice box.
"Alright, then. More for me." The kid pressed a button on the device, somehow causing all the lights in the room to turn off. He pointed it at an empty wall and the video began.
"A Brief Rundown of the Multiverse, by Heinz Doofenshmirtz."
The kid grinned. "That's me!"
Ms. O just sighed and sipped from her juice box.
"Have you ever felt like you might be doing the same thing over and over again? If so…"
Three long, boring, but information-filled hours later (with the occasional annoying interruption by Doofenshmirtz), the video came to a close. "So, what did you think? Was it informational enough for you? Don't be afraid to ask questions, I'm all ears."
Ms. O thought for a moment. "Yes, one. How long will it take for the other members of Odd Squad to start… Looping, or whatever the term was?"
Now it was Doofenshmirtz's turn to think. "Well, assuming you're the Anchor, it should take… let's see, multiply by 5, take to the power of 3, carry the 8… It shouldn't be long before we get some new loopers in this bran-"
Doof was interrupted by Olive and Otto rushing into the room, clearly panicked about something.
"Ms. O, we need to talk to you about something. We think time is repeating itself."
Ms. O just facedesked.
Doofenshmirtz, on the other hand, seemed practically giddy. "I'll fire up the projector!"
37.5 (b-wolf95): [Disney] / [Cuphead]
Mickey had learned a long time ago to make the best of what the Loops threw at him. Sometimes that meant just sticking out the worst parts of a Baseline to make sure the good parts stay good. Other times, it meant nuking the rails to kingdom come. Regardless, the number of times Mickey took a Vacation Loops was about 1 every 10^(10,000) Loops.
This loop was one of those ones.
"You're really not going to stick around?" an Awake Oswald asked as Mickey was packing up some food and nothing else from the loop. "You're going to miss all the good stuff."
"I'm good with that," Mickey huffed as he got the last piece of cheese. "There is no way in the Realm of Darkness that I am doing this."
"But I'm pretty sure there are no other Loopers in this Loop other than us, and I can keep this secret."
"This is also a Loop we've never seen before, so there's a good chance that there are some new Looper here that don't know how to ping, and there's no chance I'm making this my first impression."
"And what about all this cool stuff you got? You're just going to leave it here to rot?"
"No. That's where you come in." With that, Mickey handed him the contract he was holding. "I'm making you my replacement for this Loop. Feel free to do whatever you so desire, I'm just going to be working at that theater down the road until this loop's over. Okay, bye!"
Before Oswald could respond, Mickey was already out the door.
"...Well, at least I get a cool cat robot."
Cuphead and Mugman stared at the rabbit in the soup can in front of them. "... Aren't you supposed to be a rat?"
"Zoze are chust cruel rumors," Oswald said in his 'best' German accent.
37.6 (Awesomedude17): [RWBY] / [Frozen] / [Raving Rabbids] / [Sam & Max]
"Long time, no see, Elsa. It has been too long since we both saw each other." Weiss said as she poured her tea.
"I agree. I suppose with everything going on, I presume that a lot has happened."
"Yes. Remember Yang and Blake?"
"The blonde and the Faunus? Yes I do... They're finally engaged?" Elsa asked, enthusiastic.
"Yes. They finally did!"
"How wonderful. I'll tell the others."
"Good. Speaking of others, Ruby is attempting to confront her fear of rabbits."
"How is that going?"
"Eeeeh..."
Previously
"BWAAAAAAH!"
"MMMMPH!" Ruby tried to pull the plunger off her face.
Also previously
"...and that's why I am still the best President in existence."
"Uuuuh." Ruby blinked.
"Hey Max, there's a sale on Banang at Bosco's-"
"NO SAM! NO BANANG! EVER!"
"...How about Orrang?"
"...Okay!"
"I'm weirded out, and that scares me." Ruby grimaced.
"Relax little girl. It's not Tuesday, so our weekly meeting with the luncheon monsters isn't happening tonight." Sam assured her, poorly.
Now
"She still has a ways to go."
"I understand completely."
"Why?"
"Angel Bunny."
"Oh. Of course."
37.7 (Awesomedude17): [Gravity Falls] / [Undertale]
"Hi Sans!" Mabel cheered.
"hey kiddos. hows it going?"
"Nothing much really. You?" Dipper asked.
"eh, one minute melee variant. anyway time to show bill my new hat" Sans took out a giant hammer shaped hat.
"Why do you have a hat of discipline?"
"that annoying dog gave me the idea. later" Sans walked off.
Dipper and Mabel looked at each other.
"He's not serious, is he?"
Mabel shrugged.
37.8 (Masterweaver): [Lilo & Stitch] / [RWBY]
"...Soooooo you're replacing Zwei this loop."
"Ih."
"Okeydoke." Ruby considered the blue creature before her. "...wanna see my weapons museum?"
"Hajmha sihkism!" The blue creature jumped on her. "Goobaja! Goobaja!"
"Easy there, Stitch!" Ruby grabbed him and put him down. "Let me go over the ground rules first..."
37.9 (smxsonic): [Phineas and Ferb] / [Hyperdimension Neptunia] / [RWBY]
Candace Woke up after getting her mom to agree to let her be in charge, (conditionally). She received a handful of Pings so she could guess who was Awake. Everything was in order so the next thing to do was to go outside and say…
"I'm in charge… conditionally"
Candace faltered on that last word because what she saw was not her brothers but two younger girls. One girl was dressed in black and red and had dark red hair that got lighter as it went on. The other girl was clad in a white and purple school uniform with long light purple hair on her.
"Did one of the conditions involve Moose?" The Red haired girl, Ruby, asked while drafting some blueprints.
"No… That's next time," Candace sighed and shook her head, "Visiting Loopers…. Whatever, Carry on."
"Alright, Talk to you later!" Ruby waved enthusiastically, "So, Gear, Did you get the Supplies?"
Nepgear gave her a Thumbs up.
"You're really going to commit to this bit, huh?"
Nepgear smiled warmly in confirmation.
"And here I thought you were the saner one."
37.10 (Anon e Mouse Jr.): [Aladdin]
-Make way for Prince Ali!
And with that, the prince and his carpet levitated off his elephant companion and flew down to land in front of the Sultan.
"Splendid, absolutely marvelous!" the Sultan exclaimed, clapping. "Why, that was the most exciting entrance I have ever seen in all my life!"
"Thank you, your majesty." Ali (or Aladdin, as he was known when not in disguise) bowed. "Ahem. Great Sultan of Agrabah, I have journeyed from afar to seek your daughter's hand."
"Prince Ali Ababwa! Of course. I'm delighted to meet you." Happily, he shook the new arrival's hand. "This is my royal vizier, Jafar, he's delighted too."
"Ecstatic," Jafar replied dryly. "I'm afraid, Prince Abooboo-"
"Ababwa," Aladdin corrected him.
"Whatever." The vizier sniffed. "You cannot just parade in here uninvited and expect to-"
Jafar was cut off by the Sultan's delighted exclamations regarding Carpet, and Aladdin smiled. His future father-in-law always did this when they first met during these instances, and he never got tired of the shorter man's exuberance.
When the Sultan had finished his maiden flight, Aladdin bowed. "As for 'parading in here uninvited', I seem to have made a much better impression on the civilian populace than the last Prince... Achmed, I think his name was?"
"Oh, my... you heard about that?" The Sultan looked up at him in concern.
"Word gets around," Aladdin said with a careless shrug. "In fact, he was a big part of why I came as I did. I wanted to show the citizens of Agrabah that I was a different sort of prince, the kind who doesn't turn up his nose at people just because he had the luck to be born into a different level of wealth and status from them."
"I see." The Sultan looked more relaxed. "Well, you certainly made an impression."
"And so did we," Iago whispered behind Jafar's back. "On the palace wall!"
Ignoring his companion, Jafar frowned at Aladdin before turning to the Sultan. "Be that as it may, I do not feel he is the right sort for the princess, and-"
"And I believe that is for Princess Jasmine herself to decide," Aladdin cut him off. "While the vizier's position is to offer advice, nowhere in the laws does it say he has the authority to decide a princess's husband for her." He leaned in closer. "I did my research, you know."
"Yes, yes," the Sultan said with a nod. "You are quite right, Prince Ali." He gave Jafar a look, but before he could say anything, Aladdin did.
"At any rate, I'd like to meet the princess, let her get to know me. See what kind of person I am on her own. If she decides I'm not worthy of her respect, then I'll leave quietly, with no trouble. But it has to be her decision."
"And that," a voice said quietly, "Has already put you miles ahead of any other prince who came here and started treating me like a prize to be won." Emerging from the shadows, Princess Jasmine gave the three men a look. "Prince Ali, I will see you later." With that, she turned and left.
"Oh." The Sultan seemed somewhat unsure of himself, then regained his composure. "Well, that was better than I expected."
Aladdin shrugged. "At least she's open to the idea and didn't just reject me out of hand."
"Quite right, quite right. Come now, let me have the servants show you to your room." The two men left, leaving Jafar and Iago by themselves.
"Well, that's just great," Iago griped. "Now what are we gonna do?"
"I believe," Jafar said with an angry hiss, "That we are going to say goodbye to Prince Abooboo."
Some hours later, Aladdin stood outside Princess Jasmine's door, bracing himself before he knocked. "Your majesty?"
"Come in," the princess called.
Looking around one more time, Aladdin pushed the door open and entered. "Good evening."
"Yes, it is," Jasmine said. "Come." She gestured to a seat near her.
Bowing before taking the spot, Aladdin looked at her. "So, Princess..."
"Please," she replied. "There's no need for titles between us."
"Princess," he repeated more firmly. "So, how are you doing?"
"I'm doing." She gave him a meaningful look. "You know, in all my life, you're the first visiting prince who has shown any real consideration for my feelings."
"Really?" Aladdin gave a nervous smile. "You mean, none of the others had the common courtesy to care about anyone other than themselves?"
"Exactly." Jasmine looked up. "All they cared about was their own ego, what marrying me could do for their status and image. None of them would have even thought about proving themselves 'worthy of me'."
"Well, I was raised differently," Aladdin replied. "Respect is something that a person has earn, not just be given by their right of birth. Not even a prince is above that."
"And that's another point in your favor." Jasmine gave him a mysterious smile. "You know, under normal circumstances, you would have already proven yourself someone worthy of respect after what I've seen today. But there's just one little thing."
"What's that?" Aladdin asked nervously.
"You'd already more than earned my respect... Aladdin." With that, she reached out and pulled him into a deep kiss.
When they separated, Aladdin had a goofy grin on his face. "You're Awake?"
Jasmine smiled. "Took that long for you to figure it out, I take it?"
"Well, I did only get one Ping back earlier, and Genie confirmed it was him..." Aladdin looked somewhat embarrassed. "I guess I should have checked again."
Jasmine laughed and pulled him in close. "Actually, that wouldn't have helped. I was planning to Stealth for a bit and surprise you."
"Well, you certainly did." Aladdin smiled at his wife. "So, any plans for dealing with Jafar this Loop?"
"I have one idea..."
"Princess?" Jafar knocked on the door. "Princess Jasmine? You summoned me?"
"I did," a low voice replied. "Come in, Jafar."
Cautiously, Jafar did as he was told. "How may I help you, princess?"
"You've already helped me plenty," Jasmine replied from where she was laying. "Now!"
Jafar let out a screech of shock as a pair of golden cuffs were suddenly slapped around his wrists, his staff knocked away and his hands pulled behind him. "What is the meaning of this?" he hissed.
"Quite simple, Jafar," the head guard replied as he stepped out from behind him. "The Sultan ordered an investigation into you after certain… irregularities came to his attention. We found more than enough magic paraphernalia and other suspicious items in your quarters to warrant your immediate arrest and incarceration."
"And with the help of some items left to me by my late mother, we have a means to confine you and restrain your powers," Jasmine added. "Guards, take him to the dungeon."
"As you command, your highness." Razoul bowed. "What should we do with the parrot?"
Jasmine looked at Iago, who was currently in the grip of one of the other guards after having tried, unsuccessfully, to flee the room. "Confine him to a cage in the menagerie," she said. "My fiancé and I will speak with him later."
"As you command." Razoul bowed again, then led Jafar away.
Once the room was empty except for Jasmine, Aladdin popped his head up from under the balcony. "That went better than I expected," he remarked.
"It certainly did." Jasmine smiled at him. "I only wish we could handle him this easily in all our Loops…"
"I'll say," Aladdin remarked. "As long as he's locked up, we don't have to worry about Nasira or Hades trying to bring him back, if they're even around this Loop. And since he's not a genie, nobody can accidentally free him by rubbing a lamp."
"That is a positive," Jasmine said. Looking outside, she sighed. "Now, we just need to deal with all of our other enemies…"
Aladdin nodded. "I am not looking forward to tangling with Mozenrath or Sa'Luk again."
"I don't blame you." Jasmine leaned her head against him. "So, shall we go tell Father of Jafar's successful arrest and our engagement?"
Aladdin smiled. "Absolutely."
And with that, the two headed off to the throne room.
37.11 (Duckapus): [Phineas and Ferb]
Buford and Baljeet Awoke in, of all things, a canoe floating down a river.
"Okay, what is going on here?"
"Lemme check... Uh oh."
"Uh oh? What uh oh?"
"Hillbilly Mafia."
"... What."
"I can't make this stuff up. We're in Mississippi gettin' chased by a crime lord for... reasons."
"So... paddle?"
"Paddle."
A few minutes later Baljeet perked up at a faint sound coming from behind them.
"Paddle faster, Buford."
"How come?"
"I hear banjos."
In a somewhat fascinated terror, Buford snuck a peek behind them.
What he saw appeared to be twenty large men in sharp suits, shapeless wide-brimmed hats and impressive beards in a very long canoe. Half were rowing, half were playing an upbeat tune on some banjos, and all of them had comically large double barrel shotguns strapped to their backs.
Buford had never paddled so fast in any of his lives.
37.12 (KanameFujiwara) & (Awesomedude17): [Kim Possible] / [RWBY]
Of cheese and ice cream
"Miss Possible! You have 5 seconds to tell me what is going on!" Glynda shouted over the screams of the fleeing crowds.
"Okay," Kim said, "Ron got into some trouble with the Attitudinator that he was selling to Roman. Some accidents happened and now we have evil Ron."
"Witness citizen of Remnant - as I turned your mechs into loyal servants of the Great Bueno Nacho!" Ron screamed. "Bow... BOW to the greatness of nachos! BOO-YAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"
"Not if I can help it!"
And the people turned to a man with bright, orange hair. He wore a red-lined white suit with long black pants and black shoes. His accessories included a small gray scarf, black gloves with buckled sleeves, and a black bowler hat with a small feather tucked into its red band. "I am the guardian of peace - the bringer of order. I am the servant of Remnant. The servant of the great ice cream! You will not have us - foul believer of nachos! Come - let us drive the burritos away!" Roman roared as he revealed his cane - shaped like a Neapolitan ice cream! "FOR JUSTICE, FOR HONOR, FOR GREAT ICE CREAM!"
As the battle between the forces of nachos and ice cream came to blows in the streets of Vale, as one side spewed hot cheese while the other used frozen ice cream as projectiles, Glynda thought to herself, Next loop I'm going on a vacation...
(Awesomedude17)
Meanwhile…
"Ruby, we don't have to do this." Yang said.
"But Yang, ice cream is obviously superior to nachos."
"They aren't even in the same category of food."
"I'm sorry, but I don't agree with you."
"Then prepare yourself. I won't take any pleasure from this."
"Neither will me."
The two proceeded to enter a slap fight, lightly slapping each other while Weiss brought in ice cream and Blake, nachos.
"How long do you think this will last?" Blake asked.
"Until people realize that nachos and ice cream can be consumed concurrently." Weiss replied.
"Ah, so months then?"
"Three to four."
37.13 (Awesomedude17): [Disney] / [Star Wars]
"Hold on. You mean I have to pay real money... just so I can get a slightly different ability that I could simply learn, and I have to get it from this crate, which may not even contain what I want?" Luke Skywalker asked.
"Yes."
"I normally don't like to channel my father, but..."
Mickey Mouse was quietly sipping his tea when some explosions rang out.
"What was that?" Minnie asked.
"I think that was Anakin's rage breaking. Have you seen what a mess the Hub is about the latest Star Wars game?"
"No."
"Lucky you. I've seen it from the receiving end. Not fun."
37.14 (Luna Gale): [Phineas and Ferb] / [Camp Camp]
"Come here, Muack, come here, girl," Nikki whispered through the trees. She thread through the bushes like water. When she let go of a branch, there was a sudden loud yelping behind her. She sighed in exasperation, "Neil, stop being a baby and be quiet!" She hissed, "You'll scare Muack off!"
Neil, nursing his bruised nose and other cut up body parts, glared at Nikki. "First off, that's not the platypus's name. That's the sound she makes."
"Well, if you can think of a better name-"
"Yes! I can!" He yelled in exasperation. "That's like naming a dog Bark!"
"Shhhhh!"
"Second," he continued, now whispering. He struggled to run up beside her, cursing softly when his foot got stuck in the bushes, "Why are we even after this monster again?"
In one second Neil was struggling to get his socks out of the bristle, the next he was being lifted up by the collar and kicking wildly in the air, as 60 pounds of rage and pure animalistic wildness glared fiery death directly at him.
"You take that back!" Nikki hissed, canine's practically flaring, "Muack is just a part of camp as David's stupid smile and Gwen's resting bitch face!"
"Okay, okay! I take it back! I take it back!" He yelled, frantically trying to pull out of her grip. "Can you put me down!?"
She lifted him up even higher. "Say it with meaning!"
"How am I supposed to say it with any more meaning?!"
Nikki paused. Her expression shifted from angry chaos to her normal chaotic neutral in an instant. "...good point." She dropped Neil unceremoniously on the ground, ignoring his curses and rambling about murdering her in her sleep later. Instead, she scoped her surroundings. "Now, we need to find Muack soon, before David notices we're gone. Max can only stall for so long."
Neil gave up on cleaning himself off, even if the twigs stuck in his hair and pants were irritating. He slowly struggled to off the dirt ground. "Well, if you hadn't insisted on getting her so soon -not that I don't like her please stop glaring at me- it's just that uhhh… we could have waited until our other mascot was gone first."
"But Max didn't want to decapitate David this time," she whined.
"Like you haven't resorted to murdering that hamster before."
"Muack is very important."
"Ahuh." Neil rolled his eyes before eyeing his surroundings with distaste. Trees would never enchant him, hell the outdoors were never any fun except in small, minuscule doses. Continuing to trudge around in the forest in search of a monster platypus was not what he called a good time.
But Nikki rumbled forward, and rather than leave her on her own devices to cause a civil war between the animal creatures (again), Neil took a breath, counted to ten, and after picking out a particularly annoying twig out of his hair, followed the agent of chaos forward on her quest.
Nikki continued to call for the platypus. Every once in a while, she made soft muack sounds to call her, but Neil was pretty sure that only scared her away. They mostly followed the trail of platypus marks on the ground, but every once in a while Nikki went off her own way, saying she "sensed Muack calling for them" in that direction. Neil was pretty sure that was bullshit science, but Nikki wouldn't let him get a sentence in otherwise, whispering about her "animal instinct."
"She's around here somewhere," Nikki whispered, "I can feel it."
Neil sighed. "You said that the last few times."
"Yes, but now I can definitely feel it."
"You said that too."
Suddenly, Nikki turned around, and Neil tensed, ready for another 'lecture' by her.
Only to be interrupted by a soft chirping at their feet.
They both looked down. A soft teal colored platypus, with a bright orange bill stared vacantly back at them. It blinked as the two stared back, it chirped again, the rumbling even longer than before.
"Well," Neil said after a long silence, "You found a platypus."
Neil was sure Nikki would explode, maybe even cry. After all, if this guy was here instead of Muack, then their 'friend' probably wasn't around this Loop.
To his great confusion, Nikki simply shrugged. "Good enough."
"Good enough?" Neil stammered. He watched in disbelief, as Nikki handled the guy with care. "Good enough!? What about that yammering about being part of the camp?!"
She looked at him with a berating stare, going as far as to shake her head. "Neil, Neil, Neil, you're not looking at the big picture. You have to make do with the parts you have and if-" She looked down at the platypus then back up- "he is going to be here instead of Muack, then he'll fit into the platypus shaped hole she left behind. Now, come on, Dopey Eyes!" Nikki said to the platypus, as she once again started trudging through the bushes, "Time to see your new home!"
As the new platypus chirped back, Neil stared dumbfounded, not knowing whether to scream or throw something or both. He really wanted to do both.
"Hey, look Neil! The camp's right here! How convenient right? ...Neil? Neil, stop screaming, you're scaring Dopey Eyes."
"So, how long are you going to pretend you're a regular platypus?" Max asked Perry later that evening. Nikki and Neil, the latter of which looked suspiciously bruised up, were sleeping peacefully, blissfully unaware of the Looper resting in the corner of the tent on his own pile of blankets Nikki managed to smuggle for him.
For a second, Perry didn't do anything, simply pretending to still be 'Dopey Eyes.' But then, what could only be considering a grin curled on the platypus's beak, and a soft chirp broke through. The platypus shrugged the best he could, snuggling deeper into the blanket stack.
Max raised an eyebrow. "You know Neil is going to figure out soon, right? He was just really out of it today."
Perry shrugged again.
"This is just for fun then?"
An affirming chirp.
A smirk curled on Max's face. "Can't argue with that logic. Just don't make Nikki too disappointed when she figures out that you're a Looper and not, you know a teal platypus."
Perry made a questioning chirp.
"I don't know. Probably too excited to realize you were the Perry or something? Do you think I can understand Nikki's brain?"
There was a long silence. Perry was probably thinking of the events of that day. No doubt he was remembering how Nikki climbed on top of the mess hall just to get away from a distressed David and Gwen.
Then he gave a small nod with an equally soft, understanding chirp.
"Cool, glad we're on the same page." Max rolled over in bed.
"..."
"...bet you five bucks Neil will figure out in two days."
At Perry's challenging chirp, Max smiled devilishly towards the tent wall.
37.15 (Awesomedude17): [Disney] / [Predator] / [The Simpsons] / [American Dad]
Mickey Awoke, along with everyone else in the room as they looked around.
Mickey, in a familiar and annoying suit, frowned immediately as he saw the Loopers before him unkneel immediately.
"Guess Disney owns your properties now. I remember having this Loop before a couple times."
"So Disney now owns The Simpsons. Wow." Bart blinked.
"And I guess me... I think. What does TBS fall under?" Stan Smith asked.
Scarface groaned as he cloaked and silently tried to leave before a machine gun popped out of the ceiling and trained its sights on him. Scarface threw his arms up in frustration as he joined the others.
"Okay, let's get to contract reading. We need to know just how far this rabbit hole goes." Mickey said as he put on a pair of glasses.
37.16 (Masterweaver): [Inside Out] / [RWBY]
Because of the nature of her loop and resultant mindscape, Riley couldn't instantly assess her memories when she Awoke like so many other loopers could. Thankfully the voices in her head also meant she didn't need to, whichever ones were Awake would get right to work calming the others down and checking her memories for her. All she needed to do was let out a ping and continue doing what she found herself doing.
Which, in this case, was apparently counting money whose bills came in credit card form.
"Oh!" Joy cried. "Hey Riley, we're on Remnant! I wonder if Cinder's Awake?"
"I hope she is," Fear muttered.
Anger snorted. "I thought you didn't like her."
"I don't. But checking these memories, we're working for her now. Safer to have her Awake than not."
"We got eleven pings besides us," Disgust reported. "So it's not unlikely."
Riley nodded as she finished a stack of Lien, moved it to the side, and started another. Why was she working for Cinder...? Oh, because apparently her uncle had been hired by the woman, so she and her sister Neopolitan were hired by proxy.
"Wait, isn't Neopolitan the crazy one?" Fear shrieked.
"Asked the voice inside my head," Riley deadpanned quietly. She glanced warily at the girl with tricolored hair lounging on a crate nearby, receiving a wry smirk for her troubles. "Just feeling a little loopy, sis."
"Oh sweet Yggdrasil please don't seriously don't make Neo your sister, the Remnant family tree is way too big and confusing as it is."
Riley turned toward the door with a small grin. "Good to see you again, Cinder!"
The dark-haired woman swept in. "Good to see you too, Riley. Welcome to Remnant, Neo keep your paws off her, I'll be ready to show you around tomorrow. We've still got a bit to set up this early-Ruby has to beat up Roman and get Glynda's attention, I've got to rig up my sudden turn on Salem and figuring out what to do with my minions-I mean, I assume you don't want me to play the baseline villain while we're out and about-but that's just tedium."
"Who all's Awake?"
Cinder pulled out what looked like a next-generation smartphone, tapping a few keys. "All of team RWBY, all of team JNPR, Roman, and-Neo, have you introduced yourself to the young lady?"
Neo rolled her eyes.
"Not one for words, is she?" Disgust deadpanned.
"She's probably mute in baseline, she can talk with a little spell but..." Cinder gestured at the girl. "You know, she likes being a cocky little bitch sometimes. How have you been? The voices in your head drive you mad yet?"
"Their job is keeping me sane," Riley pointed out. "One they do quite well. I've been pretty good, all things considered, caught the new Star Wars movie-"
"Haven't seen it; no spoilers-"
"-spent some time working on my mechanical skills, had a chat with Mickey about stuff."
Cinder smiled, the gleam of a fang showing. "You been keeping up your combat training?"
"Oh no." Fear swallowed. "Lie, lie like your life depends on it!"
"Oh, of course!"
"That's great! We can show your skills off to Ruby!" Cinder clasped Riley's shoulder tightly. "I mean a hockey stick is sort of like a scythe, so she should have a few pointers."
"This was a bad decision, I was wrong."
"In fact, you know what? Why don't you take Neo's place in the Vytal tournament?" The dark-haired woman grinned broadly. "You, me, and my disciples, taking on fighters from across Remnant for the glory of the win!"
"We're doomed," Fear stated flatly. "We are so, so doomed."
"Sounds great!" Riley squeaked.
"Great! I'll get things set up. It's good to have you here, Riley. Neo." Cinder gave the tricolored girl a look. "Riley's an anchor, a preteen, and she and I have had some similar experiences. I will be double checking with her on what you two did while I was away and if I hear anything I don't like-"
Neopolitan held up a hand, crossed herself, and took a position of innocent prayer.
"...I mean it, Neo. I'll sic Roman on you."
The girl crossed her arms and frowned, waving her off.
Cinder sighed, gave Riley an apologetic smile, and swept out the door.
37.17 (Duckapus): [Phineas and Ferb] / [Fairly Oddparents]
Tonight on Your Cooking STINKS and so do You!, Show Host, Professional Bully and World Renowned Chef Buford van Stomm will be joined by Expert Confectioner and Baseball Star Chester McBadbat, of Dimmsdale, California.
"Honestly, I've got a good feeling about this."
Suddenly, a wedding cake slammed into the wall next to him. "Should'a stuck to sports, Pal!"
"For one thing, batting's good practice for deflecting projectiles."
*click*
37.18 (wildrook): [Disney] / [Fate/zero]
"Donald," Mickey said, looking at the unAwake Gilgamesh standing before them, "remember when I said to hold your anger back until we find the perfect moment?"
Donald just gave his friend a glance… but understood what he meant.
"Goofy, now!"
Goofy nodded as he skated close to Gilgamesh with the Berserker Duck in tow… Gilgamesh realizing why the other Archer decided to run like hell with the grail.
His thought process went from 'The mongrel's about to close in on me with an angry duck' to 'OH SHIT' the moment Goofy purposefully tripped… and threw Donald at him, using said momentum to launch the fireball of anger at the Golden Ego.
And by reflex, Gilgamesh unleashed the Gate of Babylon just to try to stop the rage missile.
The reason why the group left is because one of Berserker Donald's abilities is Knight of Owner. A trait that was usually reserved for Lancelot.
To add salt to the wounds, the first thing Donald grabbed from said Gate was Ardonight.
Both the mouse king and dog with extreme sports gear flinched at the amount of damage their Berserker friend managed to inflict onto the man once impact was made.
"I think this must be what it's like from the other side," Goofy muttered, taking note of Gilgamesh's uncharacteristic "AHH-HOO-HOO-HOOEY" as they fell out of the Einzbern Manor.
37.19 (Duckapus): [Gravity Falls] / [Rick and Morty]
Loops Interdimensional Cable: Movie Channel
In the midnight hour, the monks of Rye had gathered around their massive effigy of Colonel Sanders' head, preparing a great sacrifice.
As the monks began their chant, Bill Cypher paused in his struggle against the restraints to glare at the Scotsman, "For the record, I blame you."
"Fair enough."
Rick rolled his eyes, "Ugh, horror flicks."
*click*
37.20 (lord Martiya): [Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir]
Marinette had just Awakened and was going at school when she saw Lila early, and wearing the actual Fox Miraculous. That wasn't strange, both happened from time to time. What was strange was that she and Adrien were talking with Vincent Aza, Jagged Stone's stalker... And had just got him sign something. Then they saw her, and came by.
"H-hi?" she saluted, still trying to figure out the fox' game in this.
"Hi, Marinette." Adrien saluted her. "Did you know Lila? She's my-"
"We're business partners, you can trust us. Four coins and we'll make you a celebrity." Lila added with a grin, as Marinette's Loop memories informed her that a certain song about Pinocchio's Cat and Fox Lila was quoting did indeed exist in that Loop.
"Lila..."
"What did you make him sign?" Marinette asked.
"A full confession about stalking Jagged Stone's mother, spying her under the shower, and enough other thing to get him locked up." Lila replied with a smile. "All I needed was my cute partner to vouch for me and some bullshit about Jagged having written a song about me. Didn't really need Adrien for him, but most people aren't that gullible..."
Marinette facepalmed. At least it was a variant where she was on the side of good...
37.21 (Harosata): [Admin shenanigans] / [Star vs. the Forces of Evil]
Morpheus was on the way back from his break when he passed by Madoka's cubicle. "Is everything going alright so far?"
"So much violence… but no blood… how is that possible?" Madoka muttered.
"Madoka?" He tapped the young Admin on her shoulder.
THUD
"Huh, wha?" Madoka got off the floor. "Sorry, I guess it's my first time seeing a dark variant Loop, heh heh."
Morpheus looked to the screen. "That's… not the loop you usually work on."
"Huh? But the Anchor's a normal person and the other looper is a magical princess from another dimension-" Madoka finally got a better look. "Er, variant loops don't have that many variables, do they?"
"I'm pretty certain your Loop's anchor has not become a Japanese high school gang leader yet." He typed further into the coding. "Some of this code looks like copy-and-paste, but the world looks it was grafted on… Damn it! What were those hackers thinking, just looping a world as they please? I need to remove that-"
"Don't!" Madoka paused. "I mean, there's no need to remove it. I can look after it."
Morpheus raised an eyebrow. "Madoka..."
"I can handle two worlds, but both of them are safe in a manner of speaking. What if I freeze up when Star actually becomes an evil princess?" Madoka questioned. "More importantly, I want to keep an eye out for a certain animal..."
"And the two worlds are different yet fundamentally similar." Morpheus rubbed his chin. "I'll speak with the others and see if that… did she just rip the horn off that unicorn?"
"So much violence..."
37.22 (LordCirce): [Lion King] / [Kingdom Hearts]
Sora sighed as he wiped his brow. The Pridelands were always hot, but it was manageable when he was a lion. Being human, no thank you, at least not here.
Out of all of the Anchors, Sora was probably among the least stir-crazy of the lot, because thanks to the nature of his Loops, it was almost always different. The Kingdom Hearts universe was designed to be a crossover point for the Disney universes or something. It meant that there were no native Loopers except for a few like Sora, Riku, Ansem, etc. Each of the worlds was based on a distinct universe, so any Loopers would come from those universes. This meant that technically, Sora probably had as much experience with Fused Loops as Harry Freaking Potter.
Sora glanced sideways as Donald and Goofy. Originally, these two were the exceptions to the rule. Donald and Goofy were originally from King Mickey's universe, which was known as Disney Prime to some. The Looping Mickey was the Anchor to that universe, and he was almost as old as the Original Loopers. He had just stayed in the background, working to help make people's lives better. In any case, his versions of Donald and Goofy had both started Looping ages before Sora. However, due to the nature of the Kingdom Hearts Loops, and some of the effect of the Keyblade, Donald and Goofy Awoke a second time, as Sora's versions. It quickly got very confusing, as either version could wake up in either universe, or different worlds entirely. In the end, Sora just rolled with it, something of a speciality for him.
Then came the Crash. Sora shuddered as he remembered the aftermath. Most of the Disney universes were untouched except for the sudden reboot, going onto the next Loop like nothing happened. Kingdom Hearts… was a mess. They had buggy Loops and weird experiences for several run-throughs after that, and the time right after the Crash was the worst. Sora has been in darkness, but nothing like what he had ever experienced before. He couldn't see, couldn't hear, couldn't smell, taste, or feel. He couldn't even tell if time was passing. An eternal moment of solitude. Sora shuddered again. All of the Loopers from his Loops had been effected. Kairi had said it was like she was constantly 'tripping', like the trip in a dream that wakes you up, except she never woke up. Riku had said it was like sinking, with a heavier and heavier weight constantly building on him. Roxas said it was like a light, burning him away, until there was nothing left but the thought that he was burning away to nothing but a thought. Even for all of that, it was Donald and Goofy that were affected the worst. Or maybe the best.
There was only one Looping Donald and one Looping Goofy now. All of their memories had fused together into one. According to Janus, it would have had to have happened at some point, because they were technically one soul experiencing the Loops in two different ways, unlike Roxas and Sora, who are two different souls that just happen to share a body sometimes, and sometimes a mind, and… it's complicated.
Donald and Goofy glanced back at Sora, who nodded to them. In the end, Donald and Goofy were the same Donald and Goofy he had always known. The personalities between the two versions of each of them were similar; Sora's version of Donald was a bit more likely to think things through, and his version of Goofy was a bit more willing to use violence, but in the end, they were the same. They had adapted to the idea, and, as Goofy had said, "it's like I got two jigsaw puzzles I couldn't figure out, and then I put them both together, and it all fit". Plus, Max was super-cool to hang out with when he Looped through with Goofy.
Sora shook his head. He was just trying to distract himself from what he knew he would be facing this Loop. Sora's Loops were always a little bit different, even if it was just two worlds swapping places, and this particular variant was one of the worst. Sora called them inverted loops. In short, good guys were villains and villains were good guys. Sora had already faced the crazed Ape-King Tarzan with Clayton, helped the Red Queen fight off the invasion of Alice the Insane, and assisted the wise Jafar in subduing the Prince of Thieves, Aladdin. It was always hard to see people that Sora considered friends fighting against him, especially since Mickey and Maleficent had swapped places this Loop, and Mickey wasn't Awake.
Now, Sora stared out over the Pridelands. Somewhere out there, Simba was probably ruling with an iron paw, which meant that Sora would have to find Scar and help him fight his nephew. Best place to search would probably be the Elephant Graveyard, which ought to be...
"Sora! That's you, right?"
Sora turned to see a pair of familiar, and most certainly Awake, faces running up to him. Timon and Pumbaa raced up the hill, panting as they arrived next to Sora's group. Timon leaned back to take a breath, which was odd as he had been riding on Pumbaa to come up the hill. "Whew. You look different when you aren't all small and fuzzy. Anyway, that's not important. Simba's gone nuts!"
Pumbaa nodded. "Yeah. We woke up, and we were back in the valley, and Simba wasn't there, so we went looking, and he is ruling from Pride Rock, and the Lions are hunting everyone, and..."
"Pumbaa! Give the kid a chance to breath, would ya?" Timon cut in, before turning back to Sora. "Please, you gotta talk some sense into him."
Sora sighed. "I'll try, but I don't think it will work. This Loop, I think Simba is the bad guy, and Scar is the hero. That's how it's worked on several of the other worlds I've traveled to."
Timon and Pumbaa glanced at each other, before Timon spoke, disbelievingly. "Scar?"
"A hero?"
"...Phpth. HAHAHAHA!" Both of them started laughing. Sora glanced sideways awkwardly, as both Donald and Goofy shuffled their feet. Finally the laughter tapered off, and Timon wiped his eyes.
"Scar, hero, good one. But seriously, how can we knock some sense back into Simba?"
Sora shrugged. "I'm not joking, but I am guessing the same way that usually happens. Get Rafiki to bop him on the head and play tag until Mufasa shows up. Only problem, Mufasa might end up being a villain in this Loop as well."
Timon and Pumbaa shared a nervous glance.
37.1: This Loop was written for the sole purpose of getting Sora a Boomstick Keyblade. Because that scene in Army of Darkness was awesome.
37.2: For those who don't get the joke, in one of the earliest episodes, Alya pretends to be a unicorn princess to entertain the little girl she was babysitting.
37.3: A case of Actor Allusion. Susanne Blakeslee, who voices Mrs. Quackfaster in the DuckTales reboot, has also been voicing Maleficent in the Kingdom Hearts series since it started.
37.4: Doofinshmirtz giving the "Welcome to the Multiverse" speech... a rare sight.
37.5: You remember how people kept saying that Wait Disney was anti-Semitic? Well, Mickey does, as much as he doesn't want to.
37.6: Yeah, I don't entirely get what's going on here.
37.7: ...Or here.
37.8: Or this one, honestly.
37.9: For all that she's experienced, some stuff can still throw her for a loop. (Pun fully intended.)
37.10: I've had a version of the earlier portion of this Loop in my head for years. Now, it's finally a reality.
37.11: As the author of this snip said, "Some loops are good, some loops are bad, and for everything else there's the Hillbilly Mafia."
37.12: Loopers can get into some strange arguments.
37.13: Note from Awesomedude17 - "This was written in response to the loot box controversy that led to governments looking to classify them as gambling. Yes, it's old hat to say Star Wars: Battlefront 2 was... iffy to say the least in that regard, but do you really want to hold it against us when we say say EA sucks?"
37.14: Yeah, I got nothing.
37.15: Written in response to Disney buying a chunk of Fox Entertainment.
37.16: I think this one speaks for itself.
37.17: Loopers branch into TV work sometimes, and this is clearly one of those moments.
37.18: Even more strange adventures.
37.19: ...
37.20: Indeed, this is one of the friendlier variants.
37.21: Technically not posted in the Disney/Kingdom Hearts thread, but compiled here due to relevancy.
37.22: Also not originally posted in the Disney/Kingdom Hearts thread, but I dug it out of Miscellaneous. And it explains a lot about their situation.