Warning Mentions and themes of Rape.
So Here's Clarkes Pov of the first chapter. And I didn't start it with the intention of going this dark but I did. So be warned the mention and themes of Rape features heavily here in this chapter. I will be changing the rating of this story. Be warned.
Also special mentions to DireLegedz and fm. raich who commented. Thank you for your comments and here's a second chapter. Probably not the one you thought about but have nonetheless.
Walking around the forest I spent most of these past three months the trading hut that acted as my only lifeline came into view. Last time Clarke was here was when they were trying to save Raven from Allie. Niylah was willing to let them hide out here. Even after she found out that Bellamy had been a part of the group that killed her father. Even though Clarke had lied to her about it she let them stay here. Even then Clarke couldn't help but think Niylah was too good for us. She was too good to be around me. Every time Clarke seem to show up here, all she brings her more pain and suffering.
Bellamy had told her about the bounty hunter that was travelling with Roan that came back to the trading hut looking for her. How he attacked and beat Niylah who even after she had snuck out on her decided to remain quiet. She decided to protect her once again. There is nothing she can ever do to repay her for all the kindness she showed her.
She just hopes she will listen to her. Clarke would understand if Niylah couldn't stand the sight of her but she's in danger and Clarke wants to be able to protect her for once. Niylah doesn't deserve to die when the death waves hits.
Off to the side of the trading hut Niylah is skinning and cleaning a deer she must have killed on her hunt. "Nice kill." Clarke says in trigedasleng looking over the kill. She does notice that Niylah pauses at hearing Clarke's voice. Niylah doesn't react to Clarke's presence other than that. Well, that's not a good start. "I'm sorry I'm always brining danger to your door. I'm sorry that you got hurt because of me." She tries changing approach. Every word Clarke is saying is true don't doubt that for all her regret she lives with dragging Niylah into it wasn't something she ever wanted to do.
"Is that what you're doing now." Niylah replies continuing on her skinning. "Bringing danger to my door." A fair question given their history.
"Yes and no." Clarke pauses looking down at Niylah she once again stops her skinning looking up at Clarke with a blank expression. "There is danger coming. But this isn't something I'm brining. Just something I'm coming to warn you about." She rambles scolding herself to get to the point before she confuses Niylah and herself on what she's trying to say. Jesus Clarke you can talk to clan leaders and threaten them but simply talking to Niylah and you start to ramble. Get a grip. "There's going to be another pramifaya." Niylah's face quickly changes through different emotions. Shock confusion fear before settling on resignment and understanding.
"The last Pramifaya almost wiped us out." She says standing up wiping her bloodied hands on a rag. I nod at her statement. "I take you have a plan on how to protect your people." She emphasises your part in that sentence.
"We have a few plans." I say before continuing less confidently. "Whether or not they work out remains to be seen."
"If there's a way to survive then you will find Klark." she says offering me a reassuring smile. "I take it you need something from me."
Wait. Does she think I'm here to trade something to help protect my people without offering her a place among my people. That says a lot about our relationship. Clarke can't help but think. "Actually, I'm here for you." Niylah turns confused again. "If Skaikru can figure out a way to survive pramifaya I... I want you to be there." The want doesn't feel right on her tongue. She's not sure why just something about it feels wrong. Maybe Niylah might interrupt it as Clarke demanding she be. Maybe it comes across as something else negative like she's taking he choice away. Maybe she's just over thinking it but the word want just doesn't feel right. She can't explain it. Slightly panicking inside her head Clarke quickly tries to rectify what she means making the whole situation worse. "I mean the offer for you to join us is there. We would welcome you in our clan. The clan that killed your father. "Clarke says that last sentence quietly more to herself as she remembers what her clan did to Niyah's. "Shit. I'm not saying anything of this right." She drops her head into her hand. Really Clarke. Really. What is wrong with you. Apart from the obvious. Can't you just simply talk to the beautiful girl without sounding like an idiot. An insensitive idiot. Maybe she should have sent Octavia to talk to Niylah when she comes back.
"You're offering my sanctuary within Skaikru if you can figure out how to survive pramifaya." Niylah says slowing.
"Yes." She shouts out in glee. At least she can understand what I'm trying to say.
She looks into my eyes searching for something before answering. Clarke feels her heart speed up looking into Niylah's eye's flashes of their night coming to mind. Clarke isn't even aware of the small smile that grows on her lips while looking back at Niylah. But Niylah does. "I'll think about it Klark." She says going back to her work on the deer.
"Right." Clarke says reverting back to English. "You do that. I guess I'll just be going them. Bye Niylah." She says awkwardly before hurrying away. If she looked back, she would have noticed Niylah's smiling in her direction enjoying the fact that she seems to make Clarke nervous and ramble.
The moonlight shines through the gaps in the branches of the trees dancing on the fallen leaves. Clarke sits next to the camp fire keeping a lookout on her surroundings. She wishes that she was somewhere else safe and sounds away from the threat hanging over them. Maybe she should have stayed in the bunker with her mother and Niylah. At least then life wouldn't be so hard and she could be happy. Anywhere Niylah was would make her infinity more times happy. Something about her has always made Clarke feel safe.
When Clarke lived in her self exile Niylah was the only person Clarke would interact with. The only thing that made her feel less like the monster she was and more like a human being. She never really thanked Niylah for everything she did for. If it wasn't for her then Clarke knew she would have been dead years ago.
"Clarke." Madi stirs next to Clarke rustling the makeshift bed. After six years of waiting to be reunited with her friends and family she was instead greeted to a new enemy. An enemy who seems to take some kind of sick joy from hunting her down. Like it's some kind of game. For the past month, Clarke's done everything within her power to keep Madi safe and away from these people who landed on earth claiming the land before trying to kill them.
Diyoza the leader of this group seems hell bent on catching Clarke. She likes to call taunt or strangely flirt with Clarke. After each call Clarkes unease reaches new heights pushing her to move further and further away from where she knows Diyoza is occupying.
But Eden only has so much room and the more Clarke tries to get some distance between the two of them the less land she has to hide in. In her haste to escape her pursers she left behind her own privates items in exchange for protecting Madi. Her sketchbook her dairy. Everything private and intimate thought she's had during her exile was thrown back in her face.
Turning her eyes away from the weak flickering fire Clarke watches the young night blood she had found alone here in Eden. "Yes Madi." She asks calmly her but her body is ready to run on a moment's notice. With so many hunting her and Madi Clarke has had to sacrifice hours of sleep to keep a watch over her daughter. When she's on the radio to Diyoza she tries so hard to present herself as a strong confident induvial when in reality Clarke knows it's only a matter of time until she's caught. She can fight all she likes but there's no way out of this for here. The only thing she can do now is help Madi.
Diyoza is an insane terrorist but for some reason she believes that Diyoza wouldn't allow any of her people to hurt the young girl. Clarke has to believe that. That even if she doesn't make it then at least Madi will.
"She's going to catch us isn't she." Madi asks timidly a tone Clarke isn't familiar with her girl. Madi has been many things over the years together on the surface but allowing herself to be scared isn't something Madi liked to show. She's always tried to act strong. And she is strong. Very strong. Much stronger than Clarke thinks she was as a child. But a child none the less. A child trapped in a cycle of violence she hasn't had to experience before.
Her first instinct to assure Madi that everything's going to be ok. That Diyoza won't touch either of them that they will find a way to survive this but with every passing day that dream seems to grow farther and farther away from her. Clarke and Madi only had a limited number of bullets most of which they have already spent firing at the endless amount of troop following them.
Ever since Clarke and Madi came together Clarke swore herself that she wouldn't keep things from Madi. That she wouldn't hold her back. That she would treat her as an equal. It might not have been the best thing to raise a kid like but Clarke knew from her own mother mistakes and her own that holding things like that back would only screw them very later on. Best to just deal with everything in the beginning.
"Yes. She is." Clarkes states brushing some of the loose strands of Madi's face.
"Is she going to kill us." Now that's is a question she isn't sure about. Clarke does think that she wouldn't kill Madi but for herself that could be debated. After everything Clarkes done it's unlikely that Diyoza would want to keep her alive. On the other hand, those strange radio calls might mean that Diyoza would rather keep her around. The only question that Clarke can think of to that is would she be better off dead.
"Honestly Madi." Clarke says looking up towards the moon. "I have no idea what she plans to do to us." And that does frighten her. "Now get some rest." Madi nestles herself into Clarke drifting off soon enough. Clarke thoughts then again drift back to the trader girl.
She only hopes that Niylah is safe and happy within the bunker. When she and the others left to save raven. Clarke pulled Octavia aside and told her that Niylah could take her place in the bunker. Octavia just gave her a sad smile promising she would do everything she could to keep her safe before giving her a hug watching Clarke Bellamy and the rest of their group exit the bunker facing death once again.
Sometimes Clarkes likes to imagine what her reunion with Niylah will be like. Will the girl she entrusted her heart to be happy to see that she survived or angry at her for leaving. Six years is a long time to wait for somebody when the two of you have never really talked about what your relationship is or what you feel for each other.
Clarke isn't stupid she could see the way Niylah would look at her. A look of love longing devotion but most importantly fear. Niylah was almost too afraid to ask Clarke about how she felt not believing that Clarke felt the same way as she did and wanting to avoid the pain. All she ever does is bring pain to people her mind bitterly thinks.
A small part of her hopes that Niylah has found some kind of happiness in the bunker. That she's being loved as she should. As she deserves to be loved. Something that Clarke could never seem to offer her. Another part of her feels sick at the thought of Niylah being with someone else. But she wouldn't judge her if that was the case. She would never be angry or blame her for anything. All She really wants is for Niylah to be happy and if that's with some else she can respect that.
Clarke herself was surprised when her and Niylah first got back together after everything that had happened to them. But it was something she was eternally grateful for. Clarke treasured those few mental months together. The calmness in the storm.
"I thought I would find you in here." Niylah voice comes from the doorway snapping Clarke out of her thoughts as she been looking over everything, she needs for her people to survive this death wave. Looking up Niylah is leaning inside the doorframe with her arms crossed.
"Seems to be the only place that I can really just be left in peace. Everyone has questions on what I'm doing to keep everyone alive and I have no idea how we're going to do this. Nobody seems to bother me if I'm held up in here."
"Nobody wants to get in your way." Niylah replies pushing off the door and moving more into her room taking the seat from across the desk. "But even you need a break Klark. You can't save everyone when you're running on fumes." Clarke can't help but raise her eyebrow at Niylah's choice of words. She wasn't aware that grounders understood that phrase. Most of the sky crew's phrases go over the grounder's heads. "I've heard Raven and Harper saying that." Niyah supplies earning a weak laugh from Clarke which in return cases Niylah to smile more brightly.
"I take my breaks when I need them." She saying. What she doesn't say is that she spends most of her breaks watching Niylah to make sure everything going ok for her here and her people aren't being bastards to her. "Well how about you Niylah," Clarke says turning the conversation away from her and towards the older woman. "You've been pretty busy as well from what I've seen." After everything with Allie happened Niylah moved in with her people she's been helping out in the medbay and with hunting.
"I'm just doing what I can to help." She says modestly.
"No it's much more than that." After Pikes and allies reign of terror, many of the different clans share a mutual hatred of Skaikru. Not that she can blame them there was a time she hated her own people looking across the field of slaughtered Trikru bodies. That wasn't war it was slaughter. A surprise attack in the night on their allies. Skaikru has always had a reasonable distrust of the grounder clan following the killing of their children and then the betrayal at the mountain and the blowing up the mountain with thier people inside. Too much blood has been spilt on both sides because neither side could trust the other. And Clarke knows there will be more blood spilt before this death wave hits. For a while she hoped that Lincoln and Octavia could bridge the gap between there people and then her and Lexa could resolve any tensions. But nothing lasts forever and the hatred from both sides made it impossible for either girl have both.
The fact that Niylah is here and helping Clarke's people even after everything that's happened does give her some hope that maybe. Just maybe there will be a way for all thirteen clans to live in peace when the death wave hits. To push past both sides poor decisions and awful decisions to work to a better future. Niylah being here shows Skaikru that not all grounders are monster coming to kill them. Most didn't think that about Lincoln to the best of her knowledge as they mostly saw him as one of them until something happened and then he would be classed as a savage grounder and took their pain out on him.
Maybe if she did come back with Bellamy and her mom she could have stopped pike getting into power. Maybe if she never left to the self exile maybe the hatred between the two clans wouldn't have exploded over. Bellamy and her would have found a way together to get peace. She wouldn't have let her mother or Kane move Skaikru into the mountain. What were they thinking when doing that. How was that ever going to end well. Yes take the equipment from there but don't move in. It was basically a declaration of war on the twelve clans and spitting on the grave of the people she murdered.
It's easy to think about the what ifs. It's easy to lose yourself in past mistakes but Clarke doesn't have the time for that anymore. Not with the end of the world coming and thirteen clans to figure out have to protect and for them to get over themselves and work together. At this rate the only clan to survive if any will be Skaikru with a few members of Azegda.
"How have the people been treating you." Clarke asks realising she spaced out there for a moment. Even though everything she thought was true and she does believe in it doesn't mean it's actually happening and she is worried about Niylah. Very worried. If her people aren't being kind and welcoming to her then she might actually kill them this time. After everything that's happened, she won't let her people sink back into them thinking they are better than the grounders.
From what she's seen her people have been treating the Trikru woman with respect but Clarke doesn't see or hear everything that goes down. Who knows what she might have missed. And she refuses that Niylah be treated any less then she deserves which to her is more than most of Skaikru.
"They've been very respectful to me Klark." Niylah assures her before letting a small smirk appear on her face. "I'm pretty sure most of them are too afraid to do anything less than respectable with you looming in the background." She teases chuckling at the sight of Clarke blushes slightly.
"I just wanted to make sure you were alright." Clarke tries to explain why she was basically stalking her these past few days. "I know my people aren't the most welcoming or nicest people in the world. I just wanted to make sure you were safe and nobody was trying to hurt you." Maybe she should apologise for the stalking. Thinking about it some might say it would be slightly creepy.
As Clarke goes to say sorry Niylah cuts her off. "I know why you did it Klark." She says waving Clarkes would be apology off. "I think it was kind of you to look out for me like that. Mochof."
"Pro." Clarke responds. "But if anyone does say or do anything that makes you uncomfortable or anything like that would you please tell me. If not me then Monty or Raven." She's plea's. Niylah's the type of person to brush off something like that not wanting to make a fuss. She's a lot like Lincoln in that regard.
Niylah seems to have an internal debate within herself before agreeing. "Well, I better stop bothering you. You do have a world to save after all." She jokes earning a laugh from Clarke. A rare sound these days.
As she goes to exit the room Clarke calls out for her. "It's never a bother being around you Niylah and like you said. I need a break now and then." Niylah pauses letting the words sink in before offering Clarke a smile and leaving the room. Clarke lets herself smile as well. To her being around Niylah make her feel like she can breathe again.
Well fuck. Clarke help but think as she and Madi manage to escape the latest hunt. It was only pure luck that Clarke noticed the birds flying away from one section of the forest meaning something was coming towards them. Without thinking she grabbed Madi who was fishing and started to run away. A second later the bullets started flying in their direction.
The burning in her left calf hints that not all the bullets missed their mark. None the less Clarke needed to get Madi away from the invaders pushing herself to move faster leading her would be killers into a trapped area. Hopefully, that will by them some time.
After about thirty minutes of running Clarke can feel the blood loss starting to affect her. Running and bleeding is not a good combination. "I... I... I think we're safe... for now." She pants outs carefully sitting herself down on a boulder. Madi sits down next to her red faced breathing heavily. "Are you hurt." She asks eyes scanning the girl for any injures.
"No.. I'm fine." Madi replies looking at Clarke with worry as she winces pulling up her pant leg. Black blood trailing down her leg." Clarke." Madi cries out.
"it's alright Madi." Clarke states being calm and collected as she examines her leg. The bullet thankfully was a through and through which is a relief. All Clarke has to do is clean the wound and stop the blood flow. Easy. She explains all this to Madi who doesn't look very convinced at Clarkes diagnostic.
Madi the ever loving daughter takes it upon herself to help Clarke cleaning out the bullet wound with water before drying it and warping a clean bit of cloth around the wound. Clarke watches her work feeling somewhat proud of the girl. As well as upset that she's forced to do this. Diyoza once again calls her making her life even worse then it normally is. Her promise of seeing Clarke soon looking more and more likely.
Normally after a bullet wound Clarke would have ordered her patient to take it easy. No running or climbing. Mostly a few days bed rest making sure to have their leg elevated to help with the pain and swelling. However, that isn't an option here.
"We make camp here for tonight and then head out to the rover." Clarke plans. If they get to the rover then they can escape to what's left of Poils. They should have enough supplies on them to make it for a while. They can't be hiding out in the forest with Clarke injured like this. Taking a few days to rest before coming back seems like the only way they can survive this now.
A small part of Clarke still clings to the hope that Bellamy and the others will come down soon. And then between them they can free the people trapped in the bunker. Then they can meet with Diyoza over the future of Eden. With the bunker they will have the numbers to at the least have a dissuasion with Diyoza. All they have to do is stay alive until then.
There's no other way out of this otherwise.
Diyoza's offer of joining them seemed too good to be true. It was clearly a trap. But Clarke won't lie and say she never thought about taking it. For Madi's sake. But Clarke knew if she took that deal then everyone in the bunker will stay trapped. Diyoza is a smart woman and she wouldn't allow those people to be freed as they would pose a threat to her. Better to let them die down there then have to fight them up here.
Speaking of Diyoza of fucking course it had to have been her who fired the shot that hit Clarke. Who the else could it have been after all.
"I better do a hunt before we move out tomorrow." Madi mutters next to her.
"No." Clarke shouts out turning to face Madi. "Madi. You can't go out there alone right now. They are to close. Next time we won't be so lucky. We have enough rations to last us for now. We're safest together and making for the rover tomorrow." She can't stress this enough to the young girl.
Madi goes to argue but a signal look from Clarke shuts her down. "Fine I promise I won't go hunting today." Clarke nods with relief as Madi starts to make a small campfire to keep them warm during the night.
Feeling her adrenaline warning off Clarke settles down with Madi letting the darkness of the night sky wash over them. They are going to need to have a good few hours' sleep to make the journey tomorrow.
Hearing Madi's shallow breathes Clarke lets herself relax letting herself fade off into the darkness.
Clarke stands over Octavia and Niylah checking them for any signs of smoke inhalation. Untreated it can become deadly. Bellamy stand's behind Clarke waiting for her to give her verdict. "I see so symptoms related to smoke inhalation but the signs could take a few hours to show. I think it will be best if the two of you had someone to monitor you."
"I don't need someone to babysit me." Octavia argues earning a stern look from Clarke.
"O." Clarke starts "I did not go through all that effort to saving you just for you to drop dead of smoke inhalation."
"Octavia." Bellamy tries to argue back leading to the two siblings to start arguing.
Ignoring the only pair of siblings from the ark Clarke turns to Niylah "And what about you are you going to argue with me on this." Clarke asks eyeing newcomer to their small group.
"I trust your wishes on the matter." She replies not bothering to argue with the words of the healer.
"I'll keep an eye on you just to be sure." Clarke volunteers. "Well ok then." Clarke turns to leave but pauses looking back at the two squabbling siblings. "And Octavia you still haven't fully healed from your wounds. You will need to stay in the med bay for the next few nights." The young woman groans. "You however Niylah are free to leave as long as someone is monitoring you." Earning nods from everyone Clarke turns back to the older grounder woman. "Do you want to get out of here." Clarke nervously asks Niylah rubbing the back of her neck.
"Yes." Niylah says jumping up following Clarke leaving the siblings behind. "I'm sorry I couldn't stop..." Niylah tries to apologies about Lilian burning down most of the ark making it useless to survive the incoming pramifaya.
"Don't." Clarke interprets quickly bringing the two of them to stop back outside. The light from the fire had long since been extinguished making the night seem darker. The moon shining being the main source of light from the two girls at the moment. "Don't apologies for anything. It wasn't your fault. I'm just glad you're safe. If anything happened to you... I... I..." Clarke swallows turning away from Niylah. "I'm just glad you and Octavia came out unharmed." Clarke wanted to say more like how she wasn't sure if she could still do this if she had come back to find out Niylah had died. The very thought of something happening to her made Clarke feel sick and filled her with terror. She couldn't lose Niylah. She couldn't lose someone else that she lov... that she cared about. Too many have died already.
Niylah doesn't know what to make of Clarke's almost confession. She knew of course that Clarke cared about her. But to hear her struggle on what she would do if she lost her made her feel slightly giddy. Pushing that aside she doesn't want to scare Clarke away. "I was worried when you went out to meet up with the Azegda army." It wasn't a lie as Niylah having a mother from Azegda is well aware of their ruthlessness. Yet once again it seems that Clarke managed to figure a way out for everyone to survive. Well until the fire happened.
Today Clarke completely amazed Niylah. She watched as she really lived up to her name of Wanheda. But not the killing aspect the saving people and commanding them to live. First with Octavia who had been stabbed and pushed off a cliff into a river. Helping Clarke in the medical room showed a completely new side of Clarke. The healer side of her. Until then all she had seen is the leader or who she really is under her mask. Seeing her in full healer mode was shocking but amazing. Sometimes she does forget that Clarke was a healer before everything else.
Then straight after she saved Octavia's life she went to meet up with the guards to protect the camp from an Azedga attack. Which is she did succeed in gaining another alliance with them.
Then coming back here to find her home on fire and their main chance of surviving to have been destroyed. But did that stop her no. Niylah had been the first person Clarke had ran to after seeing the fire. Niylah smiled at that but she knew that Octavia needed Clarke more than she did and sent her on her way. Even then Clarke made sure she was safe passing her to Monty getting him to help her. Then she moved everyone wounded or who could have suffered smoke inhalation to med bay once the fire was out and worked on them saving Niylah and Octavia last.
Clarke lets out a weak chuckle. "Who would have thought that dealing with Azegda would be the easy part of today."
"I don't think anybody has ever said that." Niylah jokes earning another laugh from Clarke. A sound she starting to hear more and more around the young leader. Their small flirting earlier interrupted by Octavia's arrival. "What's the plan now." Niylah can't help but ask turning the conversation serious again.
Clarke takes hold of Niylah's hand gently pulling in her in the direction of the bunks. Once inside Clarke's room she answers Niylah's question. Unknown to her she doesn't let go of her hand. "Night blood is the only way we can survive this now. We're going to take some supplies to Luna and my mom at Becca's lab and hope we can recreate it. Roan and some of his guards will be joining us for protection." If she and her mom can't figure out how to create night blood then everyone will die. Tomorrow will be mostly preparing for the journey to Becca's lab and bringing everything they need.
"You trust him." Niylah asks curiously on what Clarke thinks of Azegda. It's no secret that most of the other clans look down on them but fear them. Niylah wonders what Clarke thinks of her mother's tribe.
"Yes I do." Clarke says honestly letting go of Niylah's hand sitting down on her bed indicating that Niylah should do the same. "Me and Roan have been through a lot together." She says looking back on everything's that happened to them. "It was him who came with that bounty hunter that night." Understanding shines in Niylah's eyes. "He's the one who grabbed me from your trading hut and dragged me to Poils. After almost killing him a few times we bonded. Even more when we were both honoured guests in Poils. He tried to sneak me out of the city when Ontari came into power. Then I saved his life after he got shot. We have a lot of history for such a short amount of time." She pauses thinking some things other. "Even if I didn't trust him, I would trust his need to protect his people. He's a good king."
"Sounds like the two of you have had some adventures." The two of them have a strange relationship built on respect for the other.
"Yeah, we did. Here's hoping tomorrow doesn't turn into an adventure."
"You're leaving tomorrow." Niylah asks surprised. She knew that Clarke was leaving soon but she didn't realise that she would be leaving in the morning.
"Yeah. The sooner we get there the better chance we have." Clarke sounds defeated at the prospect. "Niylah I honestly don't know if we can figure it out in time." She admits dropping her head into her hands. Everyone is riding on her to fix this. To save everyone and she doing her best but Clarke can't help but think back to Octavia's words at the mountain. Your best isn't good enough. Is that the case here.
"If anyone can figure it out it's you and you and your nomon." Niylah's tries to help relieve some of the pressure on Clarke. How one carries everything she has no idea. Niylah reaches out putting her hand on Clarkes. Looking up Clarke and Nylah's eyes meet. Fleeting memories of the night they spent together after the bounty hunters appeared and Niylah revealed that she knew who Clarke was rush through both girls' heads as they are in the same position as last time.
Neither girl knows who moved first but within a breath they moved forward lips clashing against each other as they fight for dominance. A theme which continues during the remainder of the night.
Clarke jumps awake pushing down her memories of Niylah. Glancing towards her right to check on Madi Clarke is greeted to the sight of nothing. "Madi." Clarke croaks out still not fully awake from sleep. Sitting up she ignores the pain in her leg as she looks around the area they stayed in last night. "Madi." Clarke shouts louder and more frantic.
Hearing no reply Clarke manages to stand herself off when the crackle of the radio sounds bringing one of Clarkes greatest fears to life. "She's a smart kid. Madi I mean. Your girl. A fighter too. I bet she gets that from you."
"Clarke." Madi's voice sounds in the background of Diyoza gloating.
"Madi." Clarkes desperately shouts into the radio before scolding herself for letting Diyoza hear how scared she was at knowing that woman had hold of her daughter. She pauses before turning her much more menacing. "Let her go."
"Now why would I do that Clarke." Diyoza's asks self-congratulatory. Who sounds that proud and smug at capturing a child.
"She's a child." Clarke tries but the argument frantically thinking about how she's going to save Madi.
"A child who killed three of my people. Now she really does take after you." Clarke thinks about arguing that Madi hasn't killed anyone that it was all her but Diyoza isn't stupid. Besides what would that change. She's not going to suddenly say on well then that's fine she's free to go.
"What do you want." Clarke asks in a defeated tone. She knows what comes next. What Diyoza wanted all along.
"A trade. You for her." There it is. She's nothing but a prize to claim. Who knows what hell Clarke has in store but she would suffer through anything in order to protect her daughter. She just hopes that Madi doesn't blame herself for this.
"Clarke don't do it." Madi begs in the background.
"Where are we meeting." Clarkes asks wanting to get this over with. Who knows what she might do to Madi in that time waiting.
"Follow the smoke. Oh and just a simple warning. Try anything and the girl dies." She warns. Not that she needs to.
"See you in an hour." Clarke resigns herself in saying.
"Can't wait." Comes the gleeful reply.
Not wasting any time Clarke packs everything up and starts looking for the smoke.
Around one hour later Clarke and Diyoza arrive in a small clearing. This is the first time that Clarke has actually seen the woman. She stands slightly taller than Clarke with light brown hair dressed in a guard outfit. Everything about her screams danger as she sits down on a boulder looking at Clarke as if she the cat and Clarkes the canary.
"I'm glad you could make it Clarke." Her eye's look Clarke up and down before a smirk appears on her lips. Seeing the way Diyoza is looking at her Clarke can't help but shift uncomfortably.
"Where's Madi." Clarke instead asks burying her discomfort to focus on the task at hand.
Diyoza just rolls her eyes. "Don't worry she's safe."
"I want to see her." Clarke demands. She has to be close by if Diyoza is going to go ahead with the trad which is still up for question. There's a high possibility that this is just a trap. But even if there a slimmer of a chance that Madi can be saved then it's worth it.
She just shrugs in response. "Suit yourself." She flicks her out to the side signalling her people. A minute later Madi is dragged out by two armed guards. Her mouth gagged. "Happy."
"Far for it." She mutters to herself.
"Take out your weapons and lay them on the ground." Diyoza demands. Clarke complies knowing that Diyoza will take her annoyance out on Madi if she takes too long. First, she unstraps her gun laying it down on the ground. She then removes a knife from her waist and boot before standing back up. "Check her." Diyoza orders one of the men holding Madi.
After he searches her, he nods to saying she clear. "Now let Madi go." Clarke states her eyes unmoving from Diyoza.
Once the man still holding Madi is given the signal Madi takes off like a bullet sprinting across the field throwing herself into Clarke waiting arms. "Clarke. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry." She frantically mutters clinging to Clarke as tightly as she could.
"Hey. Hey. Hey. It's ok. It's not your fault." Clarke tries to soothe the young panicking girl. "Madi it's fine I'll be alright."
"Clarke." Madi whimpers as Clarke pulls back holding Madi shoulders.
"I need you to do as we planned." Clarke states sternly yet softly brushing away the tears escaping from Madi's eyes. Her own vision blurs slightly thinking that this might be the last time she sees the young night blood she raised as her own. Swallowing her own sorrow, she needs to be strong for Madi right about now. "When we leave I have hidden a bag with all our gear near the largest tree. I need you to grab it and head west to where the rover is. Take it and like I showed you drive it back towards poils. It should be safe for you there. Bellamy Raven Monty Harper Echo Murphy and Emori will be down soon. Lead them to the bunker and free our people."
"Clarke. No."
"Madi. I need you to do this for me. Please." She waits for the girl to nod before continuing "When you've freed everyone then you can worry about me."
"Ok. I'll do it. I swear Clarke."
"I know you will." Pulling Madi back into a tight her she whispers "ai hod yu in ai goufa."
"Ai hod yu in seintaim nomon." Clarke's heart swells at being called mother. But the happiness does last as Diyoza has her men pull Clarke away. "Clarke no." Madi screams and tries to fight her way towards Clarke only to be shocked with an electric baton. She falls to the floor and Clarke wants to scream her name but Diyoza ties a gag around her head before pulling a hood over Clarke
"You and me Clarke are going to have so much fun." She whispers next to Clarke's ear her breath sending an uncomfortable twitch down her spine. Oh, Clarke. What have you got yourself into this time.
"I thought I would find you here." Clarke says from the doorway into the storage room looking towards Niylah who was overlooking the inventory. At seeing the grounder girl Clarke can't stop the smile that appears on her face.
"Klark." Niylah exclaims surprised by the girl's arrival. "What are you doing here. I thought you would have been heading towards Poils." The discovery of the bunker in Poils has everyone believing again now that night blood is out of the question. Not that people know that yet exactly.
"We thought it would be best if we stayed here for a few days." Clarkes says unsure whether or not she tell Niylah the reason why they have to stay here. Her mother wants to keep a close eye on Clarke after she injected herself with the night blood. The last time Clarke had night blood in her body she almost died so better to be safe than sorry. Clarke however thinks this she's lasted this long then everything will be ok.
"Is everything ok." Niylah asks picking up on Clarke's unease.
Sometimes Clarke forgets how good Niylah at reading her. "Well, you ignore the fact that night blood won't be a solution to all our problems then yeah everything's ok. My mom's just a little worried about me."
"And why would she be worried." A part from the obvious you mean.
"I may have injected myself with the night blood serum." She admits meekly. It's not that big of a deal. Really.
Probably.
Like a solid seventy five percent sure.
Oh, that's high.
More like sixty two.
"You did what." Niylah asks in a detached tone a far cry from what she's used to hearing from her... friend... girlfriend... unspecified associate's tone. Wait no that sound so much worse. Fling. No that doesn't fit. Let's just go with partner and figure it out later.
"We needed to test the serum after our first test subject died." Niyah's body tenses at that. I shouldn't have said that. Too late to take it back now. "So, we needed to test it out on another person and I wasn't willing to kill one of our friends on something that might not even work. So, if anyone had to be tested it was always going to be me first. I bare it so they don't have to." I repeat Wallace's words. The same saying I've used whenever faced with a difficult choice.
Niylah stays quiet for a while. Eventually, she replies to Clarke. "Your people will always come first. No matter the cost to yourself."
"Someone has to do it." Is all I can say to that. What was else could I say. It's not like anyone else wants to step up and take over. If they do then they can go right ahead.
Nothing else is said between the girls as Niylah pulls Clarke towards her before kissing her slowly yet no lacking in passion. "I know. It's what makes you... you. Even though it terrifies me constantly."
"I'll be fine. I always am." I say leaning my head against her before pulling back. "Now what did you all get up while I was away."
"We threw an end of the world party."
"So, when I was injecting myself with night blood you were having a party." Niylah look turns to shame as she goes to defend herself but Clarke doesn't let her. Letting out a soft chuckle. "Damn I always miss all the fun." She jokes making sure Niylah knows she was just kidding and is glad that she had some fun in her absence.
"Maybe not all the fun." she says in a teasing tone before locking the door.
"How many of you are there." Diyoza asks calmly to the tied Clarke.
"Ai nou badan yu." Is the same answer she gives as the past two days. Or at least she thinks it's been two days. Diyoza has her locked away It's really hard tell. Clarke's just going off the amount of food is brought to her. Each time she doesn't answer the question is quickly followed up with some kind of physical pain.
"What language is that you're speaking. Or are you just saying gibberish."
"Ai nou badan yu." This time Diyoza activates the shock collar which sends a tremendous amount of pain shocking into Clarke's body. Even Clarke can't stop the scream that erupts from her throat.
The first thing Diyoza did when we arrived at her encampment was collar her like a pet. She took great pleasure in listening to my screams as have her people gathered to watch me failing in the floor praying for the pain to stop. She thought I would break easy. She thought wrong.
"How long to do you think you will last Clarke." Diyoza asks making herself sound sympathetic. As if she would believe that. "If you answer my questions then all the pain will stop."
"Ai nou badan yu."
"Do you want to feel the pain. Is that it." Diyoza's guesses. "I know from your diary that you believed that you deserved to suffer. Is that what this is. Some kind of repentance." She signs in pity at Clarke. After everything Clarke has to endure being shown pity is a new one.
"Ai nou badan yu."
"What are you saying." Dioyza shouts losing her sense of control striking Clarke face so hard it literally throws the chair she was sitting on to the floor.
"Ai... Nou... badan... yu." Clarke manages to gasp out in between breaths. That hit hurt more than the shocks. Clarke is slightly impressed by that. Not that she would ever tell or show Diyoza that.
Diyoza in response just bursts out laughing. "You are one hell of a woman Clarke." The way she says that causes Clarke to go on high alert. It's the same tone she would use on the radio in her way of flirting. Oh no.
Diyoza picks Clarkes chair up but stays crouched so her and Clarke are eye level. Clarke tries to squirm away but bound to a chair there isn't much she can do to stop Diyoza's advances. Her hands feel heavy on Clarke's thighs.
Clarke herself feels her heart pick up in speed at the simple action. "Nou. Beja" she pleads knowing what comes next.
"What does that mean." Diyoza says with a devilish smirk. Not the attractive kind but the kind that showcases how atrocious she really is. One you would imagine a psychopath would wear. When Clarke stays silent this time Dioyza hands make their way to the top of her shirt. Slowly she pulls out a blade and starts cutting the fabric.
When the tearing reaches her stomach complete panic sets in on Clarke. "Don't. Please."
Diyoza's eyes light up and Clarke knows she made a mistake. "Clarke I have no choice but to do this." She says smiling as she tears away the last of the fabric stroking t Clarkes bare stomach. "I tried to be nice to you. I gave you chance after chance after chance. And you refused to compile with my questions. Psychical punishment just made you more defiant. So, I have to punish you in other ways. You've brought the upon yourself Clarke. Maybe after you will be more willing to talk. You never know you might actually enjoy it given you taste in woman." She leans close to Clarke's ear and whispers. "I promise it won't be quick. There no fun in that."
That night Clarke wished she would die.
And the night after that.
And the night following that.
The only thing Clarke could hang on to was her own memories and prayers for her people.
Clarke stands over the deer she just killed. It's been a month since she left her people to live in self exile. Until now the biggest animal she's killed has been a few rabbits and a boar she shot. She only hunted when she needed to eat. Even then she rarely had any real meals living on berries and the scrapes of meat she can conjure up.
She wasn't aiming to catch a deer but she was testing out a new type of trap in order to catch bigger sources of mean then just rabbits. The deer was just the unlucky creature to fall first.
What's she's going to do with a huge deer. It's not like she can preserve the meat. It'll go bad in a few days and she has nowhere to keep it clean. The best option here will be to cut out the meat Clarke can eat tonight and a bit for tomorrow and leave the rest of the body for a predator to come and finish.
The crunch of leaves snaps Clarke out of her thoughts as she turns around knife drawn to face the oncoming threat. She's expecting a bounty hunter coming to seek the power of Wanheda. Or at least that's what she heard when a group of warriors who passed through the area heading back home to their clan after the war with the mountain was over.
After hearing this Clarke tried to change her appearance. She found some red berries and made a dye for her hair. It wouldn't disguise herself from anyone who knew her but not many grounders spent much time in Clarke's presence to be able to tell from a distance her hope is the different hair colour will make people ignore her focusing on finding a girl light honey blonde hair.
To Clarke's surprise instead of a group of armed warriors, she met by the sight of a woman with a bow and arrow. She looks a few years older than Clarke with dark blonde hair. Her hazel green eyes focusing solely on the deer beside Clarke.
"Nice kill." The strange woman says in trigedasleng.
"Thanks," Clarke replies with her limited knowledge of the language she learned from... before the mountain.
The two women stand there looking at each other. Clarke tense and ready to attack or run at a moment notice while the other woman stands perfectly calm.
"I haven't seen you around these parts before." She says sounding more like a question than anything else.
"I'm just passing through. You live here." Clarke tries not to cringe at her poor broken language skills. The woman either doesn't seem to notice or care.
"Me and my father have a trading hunt nearby. If you need to trade for anything, we're to the northeast of here."
Trading the deer would be better in the long run. Get better supplies and equipment. A better knife. Some less sky crew like clothes. A blanket for the winter. Something to store meat in.
But is it worth the risk. What if someone realises who she is. Word could spread about her being in this area. Is the risk really worth it.
"I'll think about it." She says watching the other woman's actions.
"I hope you do." she replies before turning to leave. "See you round." And with that she walks away from Clarke to go and finish her own hunt.
Clarke doesn't let her guard down until the woman is well out of sight. Looking down at the dead animal she thinks over her options.
Maybe she could check out the trading hunt. From a safe distance. Just to be safe.
...
"I used to think that we just fought to survive. Now I'm afraid that it's who we are. Luna once said that none of us deserves to survive. Maybe she was right. Maybe we don't deserve to survive after everything's we've done. But we still endure. Not because it's our right but because for me at least I have hope that one day. Maybe not our generation. Maybe not the next or the one after that but maybe one day. Humans will prove that they do deserve to live. That they deserve to be happy and live their lives without fear. Maybe I'm being stupid but I do believe that we have to at the least give them the chance to learn from our mistakes. Life isn't about what we deserve it's about what we do with our time. Not everyone is bad and not everyone is good. We're a mixture of the two. It's the actions that we take that define us. So yes, I may not deserve to live nor my friend or my family but I do know a few souls who don't deserve to suffer like us." Images of Madi and Niylah spring to mind at first. "You are not one of those people."
After my first night of... a different kind of torture Diyoza thinks the two of us share some kind of bond and asks me strange deep questions as well as the usual. She refuses to let anyone else come near me which has been my only saving grace so far.
Whatever response Diyoza was going to give was cut out by someone banging on the door. "What." She shouts annoyed at the interruption. Clarke on the other hand is thankful. "I'm in the middle of something."
"Scouts report another ship landing." The guard shouts back.
Only one thought runs through Clarke's head.
Bellamy.
The next hour was spent being tortured purely physically in front of the camp. No questions were asked. They just wanted me to feel the pain.
Dioyza stood off to the side of the bonfire watching me with a calculating gaze. She knows the people who just landed cares about me and will be coming for me. She's making sure I will remember physically who she. Every time I flinch or feel the sting of my wounds, I will think back to the horrors she's inflicted upon me. Just mentally and emotionally torturing me wasn't enough as they didn't leave any physical marks on me. She wants me to suffer while setting up a show for my friends.
She really is a sick bitch.
As another electric shock pulses through my body the laughter of the people around me die down. The distant sound of the rover's engine echo's throughout the forest. A minute later the bright lights break through the trees. The shine blinds Clarke for a few seconds.
In that time Diyoza's people stood ready. Guns drawn and spread out. Every single one of them wearing bulletproof vests. Diyoza's herself makes her way forward gripping my arm and yanking me up wrapping her arm around my neck with a tad too much pressure making her breathing slightly difficult but not dangerous. Diyoza's other hand holds a pistol to Clarke's head.
"Exit the car or we will open fire." Diyoza shouts over to the rover.
One figure exits the rover. "Your people in cryo sleep are being held captive by my people. If I don't check in every hour then they will kill all your people in their sleep." A deep male voice shouts back. A voice Clarke's spent the past five years trying to reach.
"Bellamy." Diyoza replies calmly but the tightening of her grip gives away her annoyance at being outplayed. "What do you want in exchange for my people's lives." This is too easy.
"First you're going to release Clarke." He states moving forward into the light so everyone can see him. He looks older than the last time she saw him. He even has some facial hair now. How much someone can change in six years. Clarkes wonders how everyone else has changed. How much has she changed. "Then you're going you help me rescue my people. All twelve hundred of them."
"Your people." Diyoza sneers. Clarke can feel her head move to better look at her. Clarke never wrote about her people or the bunker just in case something like this happened. A satisfied smirk appears on Clarke's lips. Diyoza may have broken her but she ever broke her resolve. At least she can find some comfort in that. "Fine. You have a deal." She agrees relaxing her grip on my neck. Fishing into one of her pockets she pulls out a key and unclips my collar.
The moment she realised Clarke she ran towards Bellamy putting as much distance between the two women as possible. "I knew you'll come back." She says putting her hand on his shoulder. She wanted to hug him but knew that it would be a bad idea. Clarke had read about how so victims of... of rape. Struggled with physical contact with others after the event. She'll rather find out how she reacts when Diyoza's isn't around. The last thing she wants to do is give her the satisfaction of watching Clarke break all over again in the arms of her closet friend.
"I'm glad you're ok." He says awkwardly not sure what to say to her after he left her behind to die. Not that she blames him for. She knew the risks when she stayed behind. Knew that the likely hood would be that she wouldn't survive. But it was worth it.
Clarke lets the two of them hash over the details of the plan. She just crawls into the back of the rover searching for the bulletproof vest she planted there for emergencies. If this doesn't count as an emergency that nothing does.
"What are you doing." Bellamy's asks climbing into the front of the rover starting the engine and leading the other to where the bunker is hidden.
"Preparing myself for when she betrays us." I tell him seriously zipping my jacket back over my body. She's missed the feel of her jacket. It's such a strange thing to miss but she did. Or she just missed being able to pick her own clothes. Diyoza didn't like her wearing jackets. They got in the way she would say.
"You think she will even when we have her people hostage."
"I think there's no line she wouldn't cross to win." Clarke learnt that the hard way. But never again will she underestimate that woman's ruthlessness. Some might say she puts Queen Nia of Azegda to shame.
Having Niylah back with was a feeling Clarke couldn't even begin to describe. All throughout their relationship, she's always seen Niylah as some kind of safe harbour. A place where she can relax and breathe again without the threat of drowning. That feeling. That comfort that only she can provide didn't fade other the six years of separation. It only seemed to grow.
A part of Clarke was terrified that when she was back with Niylah that after everything that Diyoza had do to her would have destroyed that feeling of safety. That Niylah touching or holding her wouldn't make her feel safe but causes her discomfort or worse the same sicking disgusting feel she felt every time Diyoza touched her.
As their small group starts getting ready for Diyoza to attack them or something like that as she gets the last few people out of the bunker, she clings to Niylah as she's the only thing keeping her up. A part of her is ashamed to tell Niylah what happened between her and Diyoza. She knows it's irrational but she can't help but picture Niylah looking at her with disgust at the knowledge of what she and Diyoza had done. What Clarke had to do to stop Diyoza from sending her men out after Madi.
Even now she can still feel her eyes lingering on her. She can feel the way her hands felt on her skin. The feel of her lips making their way down her body. The taste of her tongue in her mouth. The taste of her in general. The feel of her inside of her. She hates that her body reacted to these acts of violation. Taking pleasure, from the sensations while making Clarke want to be sick and cry. Which she did after Diyoza would leave her alone.
Diyoza had taken all of Clarke control from her and used it against her. She hurt her in every way imaginable. Physically tortured her. Read her diary revealing her biggest fear and most painful memories and used them against. Took the control of her own body away from her violating her.
Rationally she knows that Niylah wouldn't react like that towards her. Or at least she hopes so. No, she knows. she knows that Niylah wouldn't react negatively or angrily towards Clarke. To Diyoza yes but never to her.
"Are you ok." Niylah asks her worried gaze resting on Clarke.
"Of course." She says giving out her best fake smile. Niylah look of worries increases at seeing this. Even after all this time she can still see through her. She sees the person behind the mask. The look of her staring into her soul.
Having that look that gaze on her filled with concern and love makes Clarke feel dirty. She can't stand to look at it anymore. Tearing her eyes away from Niylah her eyes land on Diyoza standing off to the side. Their eyes meet. And that smirk appears on her lips almost as she can sense the emotional turmoil Clarkes going through.
Diyoza's wanted Clarke to remember her. Remember what she did.
And Clarke knows she can never forget.
Looking towards the ground is the safest option for now. She knows their eyes on her. Her old friends wanting to talk to her. Members of the bunker wanting to know what's happening. Diyoza's waiting for her to snap. Her people looking at her knowing the truth of what happened in that dingy room.
She can feel her anxiety building to the point where all she wants to do is run far away for everyone and everything. "Klark." Niylah's worried voice is barely audible in her ear. The feel of a hand touching her shoulder causing her physically pull away as if she's been burnt. Looking up her eyes match Niylah's and she knows that Niylah knows something wrong. "Clarke." She tries again in a softer tone as if approaching a wounded animal.
A thought that isn't too far off from being wrong.
"We need to talk later." Clarke manages to in a shaky tone. "A lot has happened in the six years we've been apart."
Niylah looks she wants to talk more but Diyoza's voice cuts her off. Is that how our relationship is going to be from now. Diyoza getting in the way. Dread builds in Clarke's mind. This is just another battle Clarke will have to get through. She survived the mountain. She survived Allie. She survived a death wave and being trapped on the surface on her own. She's a survivor. She has to be.
"Now that's everyone out I need something from your people in return." Diyoza shouts gaining everyone attention. Bellamy Octavia and Indra move to stand with Clarke Niylah Kane and Abbey once again.
"That wasn't part of our deal." Bellamy shouts back but stops when Clarke put her hand on his shoulder. She told him this was coming. He didn't believe it at the time but he does now.
"The deals changed." Is her reply smirking all the while. "I'm in need of a doctor. And you happen to have three." Those three being Abbey Jackson and Clarke. "One of them has to come with me." Niylah tenses holding Clarke tighter to her .Too afraid to let go of her again. For the Clarke the grip is a mixture of feeling safe and protected yet also suffocating.
Abbey goes to move forward to protect her daughter and student but Clarke responds first. "You need a healer and we need raven and Murphy back." She manages to say with far more confidence then she believed was possible. You almost couldn't tell that there was something wrong with her. That she wasn't fighting an internal war. Bellamy looks startled at Clarke's words while Diyoza's people look at each other with unease. Diyoza herself doesn't even flinch at Clarke's words. They actually seem to cause her smile to grow more.
"You were always smart Clarke. It's one of your most appealing characteristics." She says smirking eye up Clarke. She manages to shift her body further way from Diyoza and closer to her people. Her loved ones who would protect her. But can they protect her from this.
"You weren't the only one interested in understanding the other during our skirmishes." She learnt this from all there time together. Diyoza always knew how to get under her skin and make her compile with her wishes. But Clarke learnt a thing or two from here aw well. Clarkes send Diyoza her own fake smug smile as Octavia call her fighters forward guns at swords at the ready.
Diyoza's own people take aim. The three leaders share an intense staredown before Diyoza give in and orders her people back to her cars. Diyoza is the last one standing behind the car door. Her eyes flicking between Clarke and Octavia calculating who would be better. "Well it really has been a pleasure but it seems we've over stayed our welcome." All the engines start and She ducks to get into the car as most of the bunker warriors relax at the retreating form. That's a mistake. Clarke can't but think. Dyioza always has the last word and won't be outsmarted. No doubt she planned for this. Like she said she knows Clarke well at this point. She knew Clarke would get her people ready to fight. "However." She pops back up. "I'll leave you with one final parting gift."
There it is. She isn't sure if she should feel proud or ill at being able to read Diyoza so well. The gun is pointed at Octavia. She might have thought about hurting Clarke but then all their fun would be over. Clarke knows that Diyoza isn't done with her. Not by a long shot.
Three bangs follow in quick session.
Clarke is the only quick enough to react to the incoming bullets shoves Niylah away from any incoming harm while throwing herself in front of Octavia. The three bullets fire directly into chest pushing her backwards off her feet and onto the ground.
The bunker people react a few seconds too late opening fire at their enemies but they are already driving away.
Pain erupts in Clarke's chest as the bullets smash into her vest. The pain stinging. That's going to leave a bruise she thinks gasping for air as the wind has been knocked out of her. Just another mark Diyoza left on her. She can hear the screams of those around her.
"You're going to be ok." Abbey states opening Clarke's jacket to see the damage.
Only she is greeted to the sight of three bulleted wedged into a bullet proof vest.
"I know." Clarke wheezes out." Still hurts." Octavia and Bellamy laugh out in relief at the same time Niylah kisses Clarke. Her lips feel different from Diyoza's. They don't feel rough and slimy but loving and soft. The difference between them means everything to Clarke. As the two pull apart Clarke turned to Bellamy. "Told ya I would need it."
"Yeah. Yeah. You were right as always." He offers her his hand and helps pull her up to her feet. Once standing Clarke wraps her arms around Niylah's waist and rests her head on her shoulder taking comfort in the older woman. "Now what do we." He asks.
"Now we go to war." Octavia responds without hesitation and everyone around her starts cheering.
"I'll radio the others it's safe to return." Bellamy says as Clarke smiles.
"Don't tell Madi I was shot." Clarke pleas. "She's worried enough as it." She can't ever let Madi know what she suffered at the hand of Diyoza. She would just blame herself. She takes after her too much in that compacity.
"Madi." Niylah confused at the same. Right, no one in the bunker is aware of what took place on the surface. That Madi didn't join up with Clarke until after they went their separate ways. To Clarke, it feels like Madi has always been there.
"She's a child I found and injected with night blood." Clarke responds glancing towards Octavia and Gia who is now standing near us. She doesn't trust Gia with the information that a natural night blood survived the death wave. She's worried that the grounder people would see this as a sign and make Madi the new Heda. For Octavia the girl seems different. More intense and radiating in power and control. The idea of having someone else take that from her might cause her to snap. Clarke isn't going to put Madi in any situation like that. The two of them had talked about keeping Madi blood truth a secret. Madi agreed not wanting to lead as she saw what it did to Clarke. "it's how we survived the death wave."
Everyone starts to do their own thing leaving the two woman alone." I love you." Clarke repeats before kissing Niylah again. Savour the feel of Niylah pushing away the lingering feel of Diyoza for now. "I missed you so much these past six years. I drew you so many times. I was scared I might forget your face. You were one of the only things that kept me going through all those years." Especially these past few days.
"I love you too Clarke. I've loved you since that first time we laid together." She takes a deep breath before continuing. "We managed to get a radio working not that long ago. We heard how Diyoza was hunting you. We heard when she shot you. When she caught Madi. When you offered yourself in a trade. We. ..We heard you scream as she taunting Bellamy." Niylah's voice comes out shaky as her emotions threats to take over. Having to relive all that fear a pain again. "We... I thought you were dead after we got you back."
Clarke feels her stop at the thought of Niylah hearing everything that went down between the two women. Listening to her talk hearing the pain in her voice of when she thought Clarke had been killed fills her with guilt. How can she make Niylah feel worse about everything. All she does is bring Niylah pain. Burdening her with her own pain and hoping she will make it all feel better. Is she just taking from Niylah. Would keeping everything that happened a secret be better for her.
No.
That would just be taking away Niylah's choice. She wouldn't do that. She couldn't do that to her. She will tell her. She has to tell her. Diyoza will no doubt attempt to use it against her in the future. No, she needs to get Niylah and the others prepared for this type of manipulation coming their way. Even if it causes her last shreds of her stoically facade to collapse
Clarke clashes their lips together reassuring Niylah that she's alive "It's ok. I'm here I'm alive. I'm sorry you had to hear all that." And she's sorry you will have to hear more.
Niylah's hand gently strokes over the bruises on her lover's face. Looking into Clarke's blue eyes she says. "I won't let her touch you again. I promise you." Clarke smiles believing her. God does her hope she can believe her. Because Clarke isn't sure she can go through all that again. But as long as she has Niylah by her side and Madi. And her family then she has hope she can survive this.
And what is to come.
Translations
Mochof- Thank you.
Pro- Your welcome.
Nomon- Mother.
Ai hod yu in ai goufa- I love you my child
Ai hod yu in seintaim nomon.- I love you too mother.
Ai nou badan yu- I don't serve you
Nou- Don't
Beja- Please
Well, there's part two. I'll probably do another part or a few more to finish the story. Also yeah went dark with this. probably going to go darker before I'm done. Just for warning. Until next time goodbye.