A/N Nice fluffy one this time! Comes with Beawolf's Pen's compliments and her apologies for the über sadness of the last one ;)
Oh! And I've hit 100 reviews on this story! Yay! Thanks so much to my regular reviewers - you guys are super encouraging and a large part of the reason I continue to write this story. Thank you very much.
Hope you enjoy :)
A Thousand Words
It had been Kaylee's idea to come, of course. Along with the gleeful notion they "gussy themselves up". An idea Mal had balked at when they first touched down, but had to face again once they successfully delivered their – legal for once – cargo.
Kerry was something of a limbo world, somewhere between Core and Border, and had the clash of culture and classes to show it.
It meant they got a very good price for their drugs consignment but left Mal reluctant to stick around and spend any of it since goods there tended to be on the costly side.
At first he'd stood firm, but in an embarrassingly short space of time, he had been outjockeyed by the women of his crew, collectively softening and moulding him to their will through a combination of wide-eyed wheedling (Kaylee), pouty-lipped guilt-tripping (River), faintly acidic shots at his manliness (Inara) and coolly dispassionate logic (Zoë, of course).
It had been his first mate's reasoned argument that the crew were due a little light relief, and timely reminders of platoons held too tight uncoiling with ferocity at the worst possible moments, that had finally caused him to cave.
The evening's revels had begun in perfect amity – well, aside from River and Jayne's background bickering (something about who would win at the laser rifle stands), which the others tuned out. Heated competition that spilled into snarling backbiting had become so commonplace between the two of them it garnered more attention on the occasions it wasn't there than when it was.
The crew started off at the stalls, gorging themselves on the kind of culinary treats that rarely came their way whilst trying their luck at the prizes.
The initially smiling stall keeper had become decidedly grumpy after Zoë knocked down every pyramid at Tin Can Alley. Six months of pregnancy had done nothing to compromise her aim, and she received the highly begrudged giant bunny complete with satin red bow with unimpaired gravity.
Of course, the harmony couldn't last forever; the whole evening nearly came a cropper after Mal took a turn on the coconut shy, cockily smiling at Inara as he did so – a smile which slid off into seething outrage when three direct hits failed to unseat any of them.
Exchanged cries of piān xié hou-zi de pi-gu! and lán lǚ tǔ bāo zi! had nearly curtailed the evening's proceedings until Inara intervened and smoothed down the stallholder's ruffled feathers with light touches and ravishing smiles (whilst a disgusted Mal expostulated).
She diverted his attention by inviting him to accompany her on a nearby ride. Mal's gaze flickered on seeing the terrifyingly tall and precarious-looking roller coaster, but it was about as surprising as a Serenity job turning bad when he bowed with mocking courtesy and exhorted her to lead the way. Mal would sooner yield to a Reaver then give way before one of 'Nara's challenges.
Simon and Kaylee declined to go with them and plopped down next to Zoë on some rickety chairs, content to watch the hustle and bustle around them whilst they nibbled their spoils. Zoë's expression was abstracted as she alternated between stroking the bunny's soft ears, the neat high bump at her abdomen and her trusty Colt holstered on top of her slinky – albeit stretchy – red dress, oblivious to the somewhat startled looks she was drawing.
A grousing Jayne and gleeful River had returned from the rifle stand and were now engaged in an argument behind them; much like white noise, the others tuned them out.
Kaylee crunched loudly on her toffee apple, humming happily to herself as she sucked at its red candy shell. She approached its eating the same way she approached everything in life: with a wholehearted enthusiasm tinged with sweetness.
Simon watched with a curious mix of amused affection and mild nausea, a doctorly lecture on nutrition hovering on his lips.
"So, where do you want to go next?" he asked her instead.
Kaylee paused, cheeks bulging, surveying their surroundings. Then a grin split her face and she spoke through the food obstruction: "Let's go to the Haunted House!"
"Really?" Simon blurted then paused before speaking in more measured tones. "Wouldn't you rather go on the bumper cars?"
(Behind them Jayne snarled something about "sappy gǒu shǐ" and "big scary mercs" whilst River stamped her foot.)
Kaylee pursed her lips. "Nah – they ain't no fun 'less you rejig the circuitry, and I promised Poppa I wouldn't do that no more after the neighbour's cat got electrocuted... Pebbles was never quite the same afta that."
Simon blinked at this artless reminiscence.
("You lost the bet, now pay the forfeit!"
"It don't count – I've been feeling off-colour all day!")
"What about the roller coaster?" A sheen of desperation edged his tone.
Kaylee wrinkled her nose and flourished the half-eaten apple. "I don't think that's a good idea for a while – toffee apples are shiny goin' in but not sure it'd be quite so pretty on the way back out again."
Simon had to concede the wisdom of this and squared his shoulders as he (manfully) faced his fate; rising to his feet, he offered his arm to Kaylee. She took it with a beaming smile, and they headed off to the left.
Meanwhile, River appeared to have won whatever this round was and was dragging a clearly sulking Jayne away, leaving Zoë to her thoughts.
The giant bunny would be a good gift for Baby Wash when he or she made an appearance. She smiled to herself: shame there hadn't been any stuffed dinosaurs…
A few minutes went by in bittersweet daydreams but she snapped out of her reverie when familiar voices approached.
Mal had a decidedly discontented expression on his face as he continued his conversation with Inara:
"Waste of gorram money! What d'you hafta buy it for anyway?"
"Don't pout. I think you look darling! Wouldn't you agree, Zoë?" She extended the holo-print she carried for Zoë's inspection.
Zoë's expression was impassive as always, but to those who knew her well (i.e. Mal), at the back of her eyes a malicious twinkle lurked.
"Pretty as a picture," she deadpanned.
Mal glared at his second-in-command.
"Who's pretty?" Simon asked, as he and Kaylee joined them.
"That was quick." Zoë raised an eyebrow.
"Well, we cut it short 'cos Simon was getting sca─"
"What's that?" Simon uncharacteristically interrupted, surging forward to take a look. He smiled beatifically. "Why, Captain, you look positively… noble." The smile turned slightly vicious.
"I look like a gorram jīn guī!"
They studied the picture, heads tilting in uniform consideration. There was a certain tortoise-like cast to his expression. Something about the way he was jutting his face out chin first…
Inara bit her lip but made a brave attempt to rally. "Simon's right. You look noble. Like an aristocrat."
Mal glared in outrage. "You tryin' to make it worse? What are they doin' takin' pictures without tellin' folk, anyway? There should be warnings up so they don't take a man unawares!"
"They take holos all over the place here – display them at the end of the ride, then folk can decide if they wanna pay for 'em," Kaylee chirped. "That's how I got this beauty!"
This time it was Simon that displayed consternation as Kaylee gleefully flourished a close-up of their faces, hers flushed with grinning excitement, his bearing a marked resemblance to someone halfway through a heart attack.
"Well, lookee here…" Mal practically purred.
Simon cast around for a distraction then noticed a decided absence, expression becoming more alert: "Where's River?"
"She went with Jayne," Zoë replied and watched unsurprised as the faint signs of concern relaxed. Jayne and River might argue like cat and dog – and like bone-dry kindle all it took was the faintest spark to set them off – but they were even quicker to turn on a threat to the other than each other, as many an interloper had learnt to his detriment. They might eventually annoy one another to death, but there were few people in the 'Verse she was safer with.
"River made him go on the Tunnel of Love," she continued, in the manner of a soldier deploying a grenade at the most efficacious moment.
Mal and Simon's expressions immediately united in gleeful schadenfreude.
The Captain spoke slowly, with ever-gathering delight:
"You mean the ride with the swans n' Cupids, drippin' with pink and fluff, and rainbows and hearts? The one that showers you in rose petals and plays the kind of plinky-plunky music that burrows in the ear like a laser drill? The one so sickly sweet even Kaylee-!" he gestured dramatically, "declared it 'a little on the cutesy side'? That's the ride Jayne Cobb is currently on?"
"That's the one." Zoë nodded.
"Kaylee…" Simon spoke innocently. "Didn't you say they take holos at the end of all the rides?"
There was a beat, and then everyone pelted off in the same direction.
A few minutes later, they gathered round the appropriate booth, jostling against each other in their eagerness to get a good position for when the images arrived.
After a few false starts, the swan carriage with the desired occupants materialised on-screen.
A strange susurration permeated the air, much like a group of people sucking in a hissing breath all at the same time.
There captured in perfect clarity was an image of River straddling Jayne's lap, arms locked round his neck in an attempt to somehow pull him closer, even though they were already chest to chest, skin to skin…
Mouth to mouth.
A few seconds of stunned silence ticked by as everyone fully computed what they were seeing.
River Tam kissing the life out of Jayne Cobb… and he kissing her back with everything he'd got.
Zoë spoke into the near-catatonic calm before the storm:
"Well… they do say a picture's worth a thousand words."
fin
Glossary:
gǒu shǐ - s**t
jīn guī - tortoise
lán lǚ tǔ bāo zi - shabby lout
piān xié hou-zi de pi-gu - dishonest monkey's butt