A/N Such a lovely response to the last chapter; so nice to hear from people. Really appreciate the encouragement. I also heard from several readers for the first time. Made me very happy. :)
Big thank you to guest reviewers who I can't reply to: Mel, Kate and several 'Guests'. You guys are so lovely and supportive.
I've started working on extending the last chapter into a longer story (working title: "The Brawn, The Brain and The Blade") but it may be a while before I start posting. I won't begin posting until I've got the plot fleshed out so that I don't leave people waiting a long time between updates.
This one came from a prompt from deanandjo4ever1, who is one of my most regular, supportive reviewers. Not just for this fandom, but pretty much every one I write for. She's awesome. I count myself lucky to have her. Hope she enjoys. :)
Author's disclaimer: this one is full-on fluff, with a side of fluffy, and some fluffiness for dessert.
You have been warned.
The Decoy
They hadn't planned to stay long on Juneau, but since when did one of Mal's plans go smooth?
What was meant to be a pit-stop had lengthened to the longest stretch they'd had dirtside in months after the left pyrotechnic capacitor blew during take-off. Luckily they'd only been a few feet clear of the ground before they'd - ungracefully - made contact again.
They'd been grounded for more than a week now, whilst Kaylee jerry-rigged parts for repairs. (Despite the damage to her baby, she'd cheerfully pointed out at least it hadn't happened out in the Black and no one had almost died this time.) Long enough for everyone to clean up a bit, long enough for Mal and Inara to have two reaming fights, and long enough for the locals to get to know them real well.
"That boy hangs around like flies on gǒu shǐ."
Inara wrinkled her nose. "What a delightful turn of phrase."
Mal smirked at her and spoke in sing-song tones. "I think someone's got a cruuuuuuush!"
Inara gave him her signature look - managing to roll her eyes without actually rolling them. "Just when I think you might be developing layers... oh, so blind." Mal bristled slightly as he always did at any implication from Inara that his intellect might be lacking. "The boy has a crush - but it isn't on me."
She shifted her gaze pointedly. Mal followed it to where River was bending down to stroke a large ginger cat, an action that left her backside poking up in the air, and then back to the boy behind the counter who was watching with his mouth open and an expression that suggested that had he been wearing spectacles they would have been thoroughly fogged.
"Oh-kaaay!" Mal sang out with false good cheer. "That's about enough looking at ribbons and buttons and have-a-dashery!"
"I think you mean haberdashery," Inara corrected, sounding more and more amused.
"Nope - meant what I said." He placed her hand on his arm "'Cos we're about to have a dash...ery." Inara made a noise of deep disgust. "River! Come!" Mal barked.
Inara pursed her lips disapprovingly. "She's not a dog, Mal." River, however, walked over to them with alacrity and slotted her hand through his other arm when he offered it. The year that had passed since Miranda had wrought many changes - one of which was a decided tendency in River to insist upon her independence, so her readiness in this instance was a surprise.
Inara would have coolly reminded Mal of this on the walk back to Serenity, but doing so would only reinforce the idea she was a child, unable to speak for herself. Besides, River was more than capable of putting Mal in his place if she needed to, which rather begged the question of why she hadn't done so.
Inara scanned her face closely, it had been a while since she had had an episode but... After a few seconds, however, she relaxed. River didn't seem distressed, just lost in her own thoughts.
On reaching the ship's ramp, River detached her arm and went to hurry on board.
"Hey! Hey!" Mal called after her as he stalked into the cargo bay. "No going back there without supervision, missy! You hear me?"
"No going back where?" Jayne inquired from the corner, sitting up from his weight bench.
"Store with a hún dàn for a clerk," Mal announced shortly.
"What he do?" Jayne asked with mild curiosity.
But River appeared to have snapped out of the fugue that had been holding her captive. She rounded on Mal. "No supervision is required." She raised an eyebrow. "Or perhaps you believe the boy to be a greater threat than twenty ravening Reavers?"
The alliteration was a particularly nice touch.
Mal opened and closed his mouth a few times, then strode off muttering to himself. "Bet other captains don't have to put up with this gǒu pì."
Jayne was looking at River admiringly. "You gotta teach me how you do that."
River's frown dissipated. She smiled at him, and Inara belatedly realised if River had something on her mind Jayne was the most likely person she would choose to confide it in.
Speaking of how things could change in a year...
Murmuring an excuse, she left them to it.
"So what got Mal twitchin' like a corpse?"
"Oh... There is a boy at the haberdashery store... He is... very attentive."
"Oh, really?" Jayne cocked his head. "And it's you he's attentin' at?"
"He has spoken to me several times." River blushed faintly. "I do not know why…"
Jayne snorted. "Can't be that naïve, Moonbrain."
The look on her face told him that she wasn't quite that naïve, but that denial was a pleasant pink place she weren't keen to quit. He grinned a little at her discomfort. Aw. She was embarrassed.
Fun!
"Well, gosh tootin', River - you have a suitor! How does big bro feel 'bout this? He given his blessing? You want me to ask him for you?"
There was no faintness to it this time. River's creamy cheeks flared with pink. She looked good with a little colour on her.
"Don't you dare!"
"Well, you know, River, you're only nineteen... Your brother's the best person to decide these things. If your suitor's serious-like, Doc'll have to meet the family and-" He broke off laughing as River swatted his arm.
Best ruttin' weapon in the 'verse and she hit like a gorram girl when she was annoyed.
She glared at him. "It isn't funny, Jayne!"
"Is from where I'm standin'."
"You're sitting."
He waved a hand dismissively and got to his feet. "Semantics." Then ran a quick mental check - had he used that right? River gave him a reassuring nod before she remembered herself and glared at him again.
He curled his lip at her. She disarmed him by slumping and looking lost. "Please, Jayne - I need your help."
"With what?"
"With the boy. I do not know how to deal with... attention."
He grunted. "That's easy. If'n you don't want him around, tell him to-" He switched to Mandarin and uttered a phrase that would have made the Doc blow steam out his ears had he been around to hear it in the presence of his sister.
River's eyes widened into huge chocolate pools. "Cruel to be uncivil. The attention is unwanted but… what if to reject too forcefully would cut him down in his prime? Wrong to fell a sapling. It might never recover."
In Jayne's opinion felling a sapling was the best way - waitin' till it was a full-blown tree would only dull your axe and break your back. Simple. 'Course River was anything but simple… and she had a streak of compassion a mile wide, despite his best efforts to weed it out of her. It was fine and shiny when it came to crew, he supposed, but it had gotten them into some tight spots on occasion.
Truth was, she could convince the boy to leave off with about three seconds' worth of Crazy-Girl Fu. Even if she didn't permanently hurt him, sight of all that deadly beauty would set him running miles. Still, he knew damn well she wouldn't bring herself to do it. For a xiōng cán shā shǒu, River was mighty soft.
Jayne rubbed his beard with a speculative look. "Well… S'pose you could give him the message another way."
Her eyes glistened with hope. Now they were chocolate with a glaze of sugar. Mmmm...
(Jayne made a mental note to swing by the kitchen when they'd finished their conversation. Kaylee had picked up some sweet treats at the local market the day before.)
"How?"
"Mmmm?" Jayne refocused and realised he'd been staring into her eyes. "What d'you say?"
"I asked how one could send an alternative missive?"
He shrugged. "Easy enough, Moonling. If he sees you with someone else, he'll get the notion you're not interested."
River's brow wrinkled. Her gaze sharpened and she peered not so much at him as around. He waited, aware she was picking through his aura, or whatever the hell she called it, to fully absorb what he meant. Once the very notion was powerfully creepifyin'… but it was all kinds of surprising what time could get you used to. 'Sides, she never went much deeper than surface now. Something about "etiquette"… and Jayne's mind being a festering cesspit. He grinned in remembrance. She'd been so pleased with herself for that potshot.
Speaking of looking pleased, River was beaming at him delightedly. "Jayne will help!"
"Hmmm… what? Hell, no - Jayne will not help!"
"Options are limited," she pointed out. "There are few males around to fulfil the role. The remainder are siblings or… the Captain." She gave him a speaking look. He grunted. Hard to argue with that logic.
"Why don't you just avoid the store?" he suggested. "Shouldn't be landlocked much longer."
She shook her head. "She tried to hint him away in the store - the endeavour was not successful. He plans to come to the ship if she doesn't come back. Think what the Captain would do to him! Or Simon!" Her eyes went even wider. "Jayne said it himself – or his aura did: she needs someone to 'big scary' the boy away. Few are as big or as scary as Jayne."
Jayne puffed up for a moment, pleased. Then gave her a suspicious look. Her eyes were a little too innocent… but she was also wringing her hands. And she had called herself 'she'. This was genuinely unsettling her. And an unsettled Moonbrain was not a good thing.
So, somehow, the next day, he found himself accompanying her to the store.
Mal was prone to flapping needlessly, so he'd pretty much expected to find he'd exaggerated the threat, that the "hún dàn" would turn out to be harmless.
What he hadn't expected was a whey-faced streak of piss with muscles like peas on a string.
Shén shèng de gāo wán, kid was punchin' above his weight! He was unsure whether to scoff or admire his gumption.
Well, this nóng bāo would never do for River. She needed someone with a little vinegar in their milk.
But kid clearly didn't realise just how off he was aiming. He only had eyes for River. As soon as they entered the store he raced to her side, apparently oblivious to Jayne standing next to her, and asked in hopeful tones if he could help her with anything.
She threw Jayne a desperate look.
Time to go to work.
He expanded his presence in the room. (He'd tried to explain this to Moonling once – the art of looming without actually moving anywhere. She'd looked at him in wonder, muttering something about telepathy not being the only latent ability, which had made him scowl at her, saying he weren't no Academy experiment. She'd been so hurt at that he'd ended up letting her play with Vera to say sorry.)
The kid immediately picked up on his looming and ground to a halt for a few seconds… before winding back up again, yammering about a colour that would bring out her eyes.
Huh.
That'd normally be enough to see off a stripling of his size. It had always worked with his sister's would-be beaus, and he hadn't been nearly as big back then.
Apparently, subtle wasn't gonna cut it. He was turning his next move over in his mind, when River looked at him, and he realised she'd picked up on his thoughts again. She looked slightly panicked, and suddenly his hand was round hers.
Funny - he didn't remember deciding to take it. Ah well, as declaring territory went, it was a good move. (Though more than a mite on the girly side... better hope it didn't leak out, else his reputation hereabouts would be shot... least till he knocked a few heads in. Actually, that sounded like a shiny idea. Only so many times man could work out, and this podunk town weren't exactly bursting with leisure activities. Be a nice way to blow off some steam. What you'd call a win-win situation.)
River's tiny hand was swallowed in his, ivory enveloped by tan. His thumb absently brushed the back of it; it was still Core-bred smooth, but he could feel every one of the callouses on her palm from their training sessions.
The kid frowned slightly at the sight, but then smiled at River with undiminished warmth.
"Miss Tam, whilst you were in town I thought perhaps we might spend an evening together? We could have dinner at the inn." There was something slightly off in his accent - it was mostly Border, but his vowel sounds were odd, and every so often a touch of Rim would creep in... Then Jayne put his finger on it - it was the voice of someone trying to sound Core who wasn't born to it.
Jayne made a sound of disgust. The kid might be a sapling but he had roots enough for a gnarled old oak. No wonder River hadn't been able to hint him off. Only thing this human limpet would respond to was in-your-face force.
Figuratively speaking.
(For now.)
So, he casually slung an arm round River and clasped her to his side, half-braced for bones and edges. (River had fleshed out some since she'd started eating more regularly, but she was still slim as a blade.) But he found something quite different.
She was slender, sure, but there was a softness to her toned limbs and a gentle curve to her hips; he was surprised at how comfortably she fit there, her long torso slotting perfectly along his arm. And under that softness he could feel a kind of vitality simmering away, waiting to be unleashed. She was relaxed within his embrace (which was a little surprising in itself), but like any good fighter, always battle-ready. Jayne enjoyed the softness of a woman, but he also liked when they showed their strength, and Moonbrain weren't no weakling. His luǎn zi could attest to that, he recalled, with a slight wince.
This close he could smell her. All soap and girl and…earth? How the ruttin' hell did she smell like forest? Podunk town was dusty as they come. He resisted the urge to inhale more deeply, but his hand involuntarily tightened on her hip.
"River won't be goin' nowhere with male company 'less I'm there." He pitched his voice low and deadly. "She's spoken for."
The boy's brows knotted; he seemed more puzzled than scared.
"What do you mean? You can't be her father - I mean, you look old enough to be, but you're clearly not of her class..."
Sumbitch! Jayne's expression became downright menacing. The boy blanched, swallowing, but stood his ground. Another time, Jayne might've been impressed by that. But right now he was too pissed.
River seemed a little annoyed herself. "That is hyperbole. Jayne is not old enough to be my progenitor. Nor does he look it."
Jayne nodded along. "What she said!"
"So... he's your... lover?" Disbelief coloured his tone. "I don't believe it. He's so uncouth. And...old."
Something like a growl emerged from Jayne's chest. The boy apprehensively took a step back.
At that moment the bell at the top of the store's door tinkled and two more figures entered the room.
"River!" Simon gasped, startled. "Jayne? What are you doing? Why are you embracing River!"
The boy's face brightened. "So, they're not together?"
"Damn straight we're together." Jayne bared his teeth in a savage smile. "We were keepin' it secret 'cos her brother here don't approve." He took soul-deep pleasure in the look of horror on the Doc's face, though noted that if anything Kaylee was looking thrilled... and unsurprised.
Come to think of it, Simon seemed to have believed the lie far quicker than he would have expected him to... as evidenced by his current caterwauling.
"But, River… River, why?" he almost wailed. "Mèi mei, you could do so much better! And you have absolutely nothing in common!" He sounded desperate.
River was looking annoyed again. "That is insulting to Jayne. And it presupposes the notion that similarity alone renders compatibility. Which is a well-proven fallacy." She gave Kaylee and Simon a pointed look. "There is similarity enough. We are both tactile, both kinaesthetically intelligent, both weapon and human. Both ruthless when we need to be. Jayne is less bendy than I… but that helps. It helps keep me straight." There was a distracted note to her voice, as if discovering something for the first time.
Jayne, meanwhile, was musing on what she said… huh. That actually made sense (well, aside from the kina-whatsit part).
The boy frowned, gaze going backwards and forwards between them, displeased. Then he shook his head. "I don't believe it. There's no reason in the 'verse you'd choose someone like him."
River had progressed from annoyed to royally pissed. (Looked like she'd finally reached the end of that streak of compassion.) "Then believe this." And she turned within the circle of Jayne's arm, stretched up on her tip-toes, and sealed her lips to his.
The world went white for a moment in a blaze of pure bright shock… then shrank down to smell and touch and taste.
River seemed almost as startled as he was, lips moving tentatively against his. But, gorramit, they were soft… and, gorramit, they were sweet. Unbidden his hand cradled her face, tilting her head for better access.
He deepened the kiss, wanting more of that sweetness; using his own lips, he gently prised hers apart. She seemed even more startled, but then she swayed closer and sighed with longing. His heart rate rocketed. Another growl rumbled in his chest, but for an entirely different reason. Snaking an arm round her waist, he pulled her tight against him and drank her in in eager, hungry bites.
His tongue touched hers. River moaned.
Somewhere far, far away, somewhere very unimportant, a desperate, horrified voice yelled:
"For the love of God! I'm convinced, I'm convinced! Stop doing that! Stop it! Stop it!... Get off my mèi mei!"
fin
Glossary:
gǒu pì - bulls***, nonsense
gǒu shǐ - s***
hún dàn - bastard
luǎn zi - testicles
mèi mei - little sister
nóng bāo - good-for-nothing; useless weakling
shén shèng de gāo wán - holy testicle! (exclamation)
xiōng cán shā shǒu - ass-kicking killer
A/N 2 The prompt was to have Jayne getting rid of a guy River didn't like but was too nice to turn down. The rest of it pretty much came about 'cos I felt like it had been too long since there'd been a proper snog between them… I'd missed it ;)
Things may go quiet for a little while now - though you never know - last time I said that I suddenly had three ideas at once...