Custodian
Harry Potter/Highschool DxD
Harry Potter/?
I own nothing
This is my first fic in the Highschool DxD world.
XI: Of stories and house cleaning 2
"My thanks. I am Michael…I represent the Host of the God-Of-The-Bible…now what is it that you think?"
Rias had learnt to read a room and its atmosphere very well. She quickly realised that Harry was on the verge of a colossal breakdown. She crossed the room to a concealed fridge and pulled out a chilled bottle of Sitri mead. Akeno had Harry's mug in hand and within three heartbeats Harry was rapidly downing the mead.
Michael cocked his head slightly nervously. "It's less what you said, Lord Michael…" Hermione said tentatively "…But rather how you conveyed it. My little brother by choice…has spent since he was eleven years old cleaning up the mess that Wanded Wizarding Britain had left to fester and proliferate since 1981. Unfortunately, this has given him the message of 'If a Leader doesn't have his act together, then I don't want to be nearby when it goes wrong'…" She paused slightly.
Michael nodded and his posture shifted "My apologies Lord Potter. The mannerisims in which I use are more refined for those who are connected to the Heavenly Host; as in those who believe in my Lord-Father." As Michael announced God by an alternative title there was no round of headaches.
"I've got a diatribe for the Heavenly Host…but I'll leave that for later. Okay, my apologies Lord Michael; Custodian-of-the-Sacred-Gear-System, Ruler of Heaven, my apologies. I'm not a holy man nor am I a good man…Anyway, my peers have voted me as the spokesperson of our…conclave because they think I'm the most resilient one…Anyway, we think someone from the Grigori is going to gate crash the peace talks."
Michael nodded "Do you have names? I know that amongst all factions there are those who dislike the idea of these peace-talks."
"I'm just a Custodian of Britannia and its artefacts. I possess great magical power and a certain nature that people might refer to as 'a trolling nature'…Considering what's happened so far as Lady Rias's Right Hand of Mayhem, I'm inclined to believe her. Lord Michael, Governor General Azazel, Maou's Lucifer and Leviathan, this is Hermione Granger the Brain to this particular Pinky, and the one who probably knows more about this than I do."
Hermione looked at Harry "Pinky and the Brain? One being a genius and the other insane…that does fit us a lot…Anyway, can any of you think of potential people or factions that might not be happy be with the idea of peace between your three?"
Michael nodded "My two brothers: Uriel and Raphael they'll not like it. But they'll accept it."
Harry pulled a book out and with a pen scribbled something inside, he looked up "I'm a Custodian. Anytime, I come across anything interesting by the Supernatural I need to record it. If only to sort out stupid arguments."
Azazel snorted "After this is done, Harry…Can we get a drink to discuss you? My equipment is telling me you're in dire need of help."
Harry smirked as everyone winced "Throw in dinner and I'm all yours."
"Harry…you realise what…" Hermione began.
"Raise your hand if you're uncomfortable?" The majority of the room raised their hands and the Governor General and Custodian began to giggle.
"Harry, that's just wrong. How can you! I thought you liked Akeno!" Shouted Issei.
"No-one bothered to ask. If one doesn't ask, one never knows but then again I could probably be trolling you." Harry retorted a smirk on lips as he chucked Azazel his phone.
The Wizards on the other hand merely shrugged "You're not concerned about your leader?" Serafall asked curiously, cocking her head.
"Concerned yes…Leader not so much. Harry unfortunately has an aura of 'Everything goes to hell around me' and 'Stick with me, you'll get out of this'…Like we said earlier Lady Leviathan…Spokesperson by resilience. More importantly we just want him to be happy."
"Anyway, my little sisters adorable mage of pandemonium's sleeping habits aside…The Old Satan Faction…After the three-way war, Underworld had another civil war. We're re-building…thankfully due to Ajuka."
"As for us, the Fallen…I have an inkling who. Koka-baka, he was always the most bloodthirsty of us. His Legion specifically were always some of the nastier ones."
Harry nodded "Out of this Old Satan Faction and Kokabiel and his Cadre…I believe it's called?" Azazael nodded.
"Which one is liable to attack these peace talks? Or which of these two groups is most likely going to attack these peace talks?"
"Kokabiel almost certainly. He was…one of the first to fall. I jumped. That's another story."
"Also…why here?"
"Because it's local, the epicentre for all Supernatural on goings in Japan…It is believe it or not one of the few places that equal parts Underworld, Heaven and Grigori influenced despite it being a predominately Sitri and Gremory Stronghold." Sirzechs explained.
Harry nodded "I take it Lady Rias…"
"Rias and I along with our Peerages will be providing defences for the meeting. Although other factions will as well; it's nice to see you again Harry…We've…enjoyed this week free of mayhem." Sona deadpanned, her mouth twitching into a thin grin.
"Lady Sona…and peerage…allow…" Harry began.
"Sitri has holdings in Wizarding Britain. I started investigating the moment you appeared here in a fiery crash."
"You say that. I call it a dynamic entry." Harry replied with a smirk. Sona and Tsubaki both palmed their faces whilst Saji fought back a smirk. Him and Rias's Mage got along like napalm sticking to kids…very well.
"I can't take you anywhere." Rias replied.
"Rias…I can't go anywhere with you. Mayhem follows you Heiress of Destruction and as for me…well, you saw Riser after I'd finished with him."
"Over there, over there, over there and up there…and missing his head." Koneko deadpanned.
"Shot through the heart, and you're to blame Koneko-chan." Harry mimed dramatically.
"But Harry, you give love a bad name." Crookshanks chimed in with a 'Cat-got-the-canary' grin.
"I think…I just got served by Hermione's nekomata…ouch."
Hermione smirked at that "Whilst, he's dealing with those injuries. How can we help?"
Sona and Rias looked at each other and nodded "We; Sona Sitri and Rias Gremory are always on the lookout for new talent. Harry, has technically sworn himself into multiple houses services…he is right now part of Rias's Team answerable to only her."
"And only if it really interests him." Neville chimed in.
Meanwhile Irina and Xenovia had found themselves behind Michael. This…this was not what they were expecting. "The pair of you have done well…But soon your paths will diverge." Michael stated in a normal bland and emotionless voice.
Being a Seraph, then Archangel and now Head of the Heavenly Host and cut off from humanity, did have some major drawbacks. One of those being toneless and emotionless near enough homunculi automatons. The two girls gulped.
Hermione and the rest of the Wizards looked at one another "The pair of you want us to…"
"Work with or for us…If you want to be paid, we can come to arrangement…If you're in it to cause mayhem, something can be done. What I want is an equal and fair split between you to work between mine and Rias's groups."
Hermione let out a hum as Seamus spoke "Let me understand. You and the Gorgeous Redhead want our knowledge, intellect and other means of mayhem…maybe not the mayhem but the other means definitely…" Sona nodded "…However, due to Harry doing what we called the Hadrian Hazard Effect, you and Rias are going to select us randomly so for whatever reason all of the insanely powerful ones all end up in one group."
"Correct. Mr. Finnegan, have you any ideas?"
Seamus nodded "Are you wanting raw power or intellect."
"I prefer intellect. Rias, prefers getting the job done."
Seamus sighed "Then I recommend someone but you two taking Neville and Hermione off the board; they're both smart and insanely powerful. In fact they're the only two I can think of who can COMFORTABLY contain Harry."
"He's not wrong…Rias, Seamus is one of the best with pyrotechnics. Dean's…an artist and that is demonstrated with his skill of illusions." Harry commented.
Dean blanched "Harry…I kinda like my soul."
"Dean, they don't need your soul…Besides the soul heals. They only want or need your mind and perhaps your body."
"Possession!" Yelped Dean getting chuckles from everyone.
"No, just means of reproduction. Turning into a Devil is a thing." Serafall replied whimsically, sitting in Harry's lap getting a dirty look from Akeno.
Harry wisely turned to Rias "This needs your going ahead. It's your territory."
Rias looked her magician and then everyone else "It's technically the will of the Maou…"
"YOUR Territory, Rias. It belongs to Gremory Rias; I checked your portfolio. The Mao can't operate here due to their installed mantles on the grounds of something called 'Conflict of Interest'. So, yes the Meeting is here by Order of the Maou, it's YOUR call on the protections."
"As my magician…what would you say?"
Harry shrugged "I dunno. I'm more interested in your kink dungeon honestly. Attacks on meetings…not necessarily important unless it's a tentative subject. Assuming everything goes to shit, whoever comes might know Rias's strength of herself and her servants. So, Rias, what have you got locked up?"
"My other Bishop. His name is Gasper and he possesses the Forbidden Balor View."
"What's that when it's at home?" Pavarti asked curiously.
"It allows him to control time." Rias replied.
"Like everything stops or slows everyone else's perception of time?"
Azazel spoke "Forbidden Balor is just like Dio Brando from JoJo's Adventure…the name might be wrong. Hilarious show."
Harry did nod at that "Okay, your bishop has Dio Brando's power…anything else?"
Rias gulped, but Sirzechs spoke unable to keep the grin out of his voice "He's also a Dhampir and he's also androgynous, haemophobic, agoraphobic and a shut in…oh and he cross dresses and likes boxes"
Harry looked at Rias and Hermione photographed his slack-jawed expression "Let me get this straight…you have an Androgynous, Haemophobic, Agoraphobic; box loving, Cross Dressing, Time Stopping, Reincarnated Devil formerly Dhampir Bishop locked up…Let me guess his clan name is Vladi and his father clattered him when he was a kid."
"You've got the right of it. Did you know, he was the first Reincarnation that Rias tried to do, but because of his emotional state and lack of experience didn't properly do it."
Hermione grabbed Harry's mug of mead, took a swig and let out a thunderous belch "Harry can't belch for love or money. His metabolism's too damn quick and effective…That poor kid."
"Rias…you mentioned you find your servants at their utmost lowest or dead and dying…you really were not kidding…Anymore surprises?"
"Not that I'm aware of…I didn't realise this was so important."
"Rias…a Wizard is only as good as the materials he's got to work with. I'm your convenient wizard of mayhem. You're intrusting me with the lives of you and your Peerage along with the Sitri Heiress and her Peerage…AND you want me to protect this place from potential full-on assaults by Grigori Warmongers and Old Faction Satanists with a hard on for killing the new Leaders; Viva la Revolution…So, Rias…cards on the table how do you want to do this?"
Sona spoke "This isn't my place but as a member of a family with paperwork signed by you Mr. Potter…do your best or your worst…In fact go biblical, full fire and brimstone."
Harry's face cracked into a demented grin. He placed the pouting Maou on his lap to one side; kissed Akeno full on the face. Hugged Sona and Tsubaki got to his feet "My feckless, reckless and exceptionally stupid peers who joined me in this moronic path forwards; TO MY DUNGEONS! We have carnage to commence, pandemonium to make and egos to be quashed so badly, one would think Loki would be tea bagging people! Any questions?"
"What's tea bagging?" Susan asked curiously.
"What I do to Draco Malfoy during quidditch…And that's the polite version."
"Harry…where are we going to sleep?"
"Honestly, I thought you'd all thought of that…Feck it, I'll put all up for a week, whilst the mutts go house shopping…I live with my Godfather, Sirius Black and Professor Lupin."
The females collectively paled even amongst the Wizarding World and the Supernatural Communities the thought of independent teenaged males or even any male not in any sort of serious relationship living on their own was awful. They knew those houses were rat holes!
"Harry, what are we walking into?" Hermione asked, grabbing Fragarach whilst igniting a ball of fire in her hand.
"It's not…OCD, exterminatus or even 'kill it! Kill it with fire! All lifeforms must die!' clean but it is much cleaner than most…Edible wise; I know I did order a full vegetable delivery and that should have turned up today or yesterday…Remus IS the more responsible one and the one I only have to poke once a week to check he's alive…Although he might be out with that cute Yokai…Sirius on the other hand…yeah." Harry began to reply before he trailed off into manic muttering.
"Stop it Bone Breaker…Don't push us out with your mutterings. Stupid anime obsessed moron!" Koneko replied.
"You know I'm a Todoroki more than Midoriya."
"…Actually, I'd say more Kacchan." Kiba chimed in. He enjoyed that anime! He liked Tailman thank you very much!
Harry turned on the blonde knight "I'm going to carve you for lunch, Kiba…Roasted Knight with a side of celeriac puree and a green salad."
"I think you'd upset Lord Lucifer's Wife and Queen due to you upsetting Sensei's Knight and Queen's subsequent closest friend outside of Lord Lucifer himself."
Sirzechs chuckled "Anyway, we'll leave you to it. Oh and Harry…Crowley wants a word with you…Something about pranks, a ferret and an Impala." Harry nodded, Crowley Gremory was a nasty son of a bitch; one who made a living making 'demon deals'. Apparently through him, Harry learnt of a few members of who must be 'Old Satan Factioneers' wanting to stage a 'resurrection' and bring about an apocalypse.
Harry shrugged apocalypse potential beginning scenarios happened all the time. Apparently, there was a little boy in Tadfield rumoured to start an Apocalypse. Harry shrugged, not his fault and quite frankly not his problem.
"Harry, we'll reconvene in two days. I'll make your absence noted. Any ideas on the excuse this time?"
Harry grinned "Cracked pelvis…Motorbike stupidity."
Sona nodded "Because I like you somewhat…Hit and run on a motorbike and you cracked your hip instead."
Harry nodded "Sounds good, believable as well more or less providing police aren't called."
"I'll deal with that…Everyone, you have contracts to make and meet." Rias called sounding like a peppy cheerleader.
"Harry…You mind popping to the shrine when its convenient for you; I…don't feel safe all of a sudden."
Harry nodded "Your kin? If they try anything…call and I'll come."
Akeno nodded before hugging him "You're the best, you know that."
"I couldn't be luckier…Speaking of, I managed to get us VIP entry to that new club that's opening."
Akeno's eyes sparkled "Go on…"
"And I may have bought in the construction to start making money work for me."
Rias's eyes narrowed "So you bought in on that property." She growled with a tease in her tone.
"Yup…and a few more…Nothing to be worried about. It's a couple of plots of land designed to be housing for the College and University Students, with a few being houses for rent or lease."
Rias's eyes narrowed "Just let us know…"
Harry shrugged "Maybe…Maybe not. Anyway, things to do…Including alcohol shopping."
(Marauder Apartment)
Remus and Sirius weren't expecting this many people. They knew Harry was going to convince some people, but not this many. "Harry…"
"You realise that most of this lot are disenfranchised Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and an odd pair of Hufflepuffs…Anyway, introductions were made, jokes were had; shot through the heart a few time and well I think the Immediate Supernatural powers here like what I've brought to the table."
Remus stilled "What did you do? What have they signed up for? What didn't you tell them?"
"More what was dropped on us…We're going to need some maps, diagrams and a down to the detail map of Kuoh…The Maou, Governor-General and Leader of the Host couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery."
"What's going on pup?"
"Apparently a cease-fire talk and an ambush."
"The target?"
Harry snorted "You're gonna love this. Target's a Dhampir…Not just that a Androgynous, Haemophobic, Agoraphobic; box loving, Cross Dressing, Time Stopping, Reincarnated Devil formerly Dhampir."
Sirius and Remus were both dumbstruck "That sounds like an interesting character from an interesting manga."
"Or a demented perverted one…or both. And let's not even consider someone's hack of a fanfiction." Dean suggested.
Remus nodded "Time limit?"
"We have two days…No idea what they want us to do but there's that…Also I need to do a thing at Akeno's."
"Oh, the gorgeous Nephilim you've been talking about…Why haven't we met her?"
"Because, I've been more interested in keeping us alive and not living like three single bachelors…Speaking of, Kitchen's on the side of that wall. Toilet is just off the corridor and the bedrooms are off to each side, each are relatively sound-proofed."
Padma looked at Harry and cocked her head "Don't we have a defence to plan?"aHajjjpogk
"That we do."
(Himejima abandoned Shrine)
Five men waited "This is it. The moment when the stain on our bloodline can be removed."