Arc 2 Chapter 4: Third Night
By: ViolentBlue
The lunch Subaru had with Emilia was enjoyable, and the residents of Roswaal's mansion were for the most part happy to hear that Subaru had woken up fully. At least, Puck was happy to see him awake. Ram and Rem were much more muted in their reactions, and it slightly dismayed Subaru to hear the pink-haired maid already refer to him as "Barusu".
There's two things that I would never be able to do no matter how many times I reset…beat Reinhard, and get Ram to not call me "Barusu" for just one day. Subaru thought to himself as he walked the halls of the mansion; looking to hopefully rendezvous with the one resident that he hadn't met in this loop since he'd woken up.
"Let's see…" Subaru walked among the many doors of the hallways, before one piqued his interest. "And this...should be the correct one."
He grabbed the handle of the door and opened it, to reveal the small blond haired and red-pink dressed girl inside. Subaru grinned, and immediately walked. "Hellooo, Beatrice!"
"..." Beatrice looked at Subaru silently, and he guessed that she was thinking on how to respond to him.
"You're no longer asleep. Emilia and Bubby were worried about whether or not you would wake up, I suppose." She crossed her arms, looking at him.
"Well, you don't need to worry then! Nothing can keep me down for long. I always get back up, one way, or another…" Subaru trailed off, knowing that the way he would often end up getting back from a dangerous situation was not particularly pleasant. "Anyway...I just came to say thank you for watching over me. Emilia told me that you had tried your best to heal me."
Beatrice blinked, and stayed silent for a few moments. Subaru knew she wasn't used to being thanked, much less interacting with other people outside of possibly Puck. She then opened her mouth, replying, "You're...welcome, I suppose."
Subaru grinned. While he had missed two whole days, he figured getting Beako to open up, even slightly, made up for much of that lost time.
"However, there are some things about your current condition Betty must inform you of. Emilia told the rest of us of your 'ability' that you used during your battle earlier. And you should know that while it may have worked, it also severely stressed both your Gate and your Od, in fact."
Subaru paused, as the memory of his usage of Cor Leonis against Elsa came up in his mind. He remembered how he had surpassed the Authority of Greed's limitations by putting all of his power into it. Even now, he could distantly feel the Authority within him having grown from the experience, it's power pulsating throughout him. Whatever the effects of his breaking of the Authority of Greed's limitations, he knew that it had made it grow in strength. Part of him shuddered at the thought of a Witch Factor gaining any influence, but another part of Subaru almost welcomed it. Too long had he been so weak, forced to rely on his meager abilities and others to defend him. Still, the stress on his Gate and Od were cause for concern.
"Is it permanent?" He asked worriedly.
"As long as you don't put further stress on it eventually they should both return to normal, I suppose. Despite Betty's magical talent Betty is not well versed in healing magical wounds, so Betty won't be able to offer you any support in recovering." Beatrice then stopped speaking, staring at him in thought. "...What is strange is the way you did it. One with such low skill in magic such as yourself should be unable to affect your own Gate or Od that much. And you don't appear to be bonded with any spirits."
Beatrice's eyes narrowed as she looked at Natsuki Subaru, and it occurred to him that she was quickly beginning to figure out more than she had in previous timelines.
Shit. If Beako hasn't by now already she's going to. There's only one set of abilities left that she knows I could have: an Authority. Subaru knew that he had to come up with something quick to explain to Beatrice what was going on, as if she told Puck or the others about the nature of his powers it would be game over for him.
Speaking of which, I still have Rem to deal with. But that can wait for now. If I don't convince Beatrice I'm of no threat, this loop is done for. And I am not going back, not after all I went through with Emilia.
"I know what you're going to say, Beatrice. And it's true, I do have an Authority." Subaru spoke firmly, curling his fists and then uncurling them. He tried to force himself to relax, as any misstep in this crucial conversation could end in disaster.
"Betty suspected as much, I suppose." Before she could continue however, he continued speaking.
"Still, I swear to you that I am not affiliated with the Witch Cult, nor have I or ever will be. The nature of my Authority is...complicated. But I have never used it for evil, only to defend myself and others." Subaru spoke, trying to keep the tinge of fear he felt from being present in his voice.
"Even if you are telling the truth. You give Betty no evidence to believe you." She stood and took a step toward him, and Subaru could faintly feel the Mana in and around the mansion shift slightly. "Betty promised to protect the Forbidden Library, and anyone with an Authority...is a threat."
Subaru then decided to play his trump card in this verbal exchange. All he could hope is that it would work. "I promise you, I would never harm anyone here. Even if they attacked me. Look, if- if Echidna was here, she'd vouch for me."
Beatrice's eyes widened, and she froze. It was clear she had not expected this turn of events. "You...you know Mother?"
While I feel bad for using her connection to Echidna like this, it's my best chance of success. Beatrice doesn't care if Emilia trusts me.
"Yes...I do. We knew each other long ago, and if she was here she'd back up my words. Listen to me, Beatrice. I'm not a member of the Witch Cult, and I'm not your enemy!
"You're...you're lying. You have to be. How did you even know about Betty and Mother?" Her tone of voice became more angry, and Subaru realized that he was quickly running out of time.
"Because she was the one who helped give me the Authority." This was true, in a roundabout way. Echidna had been responsible for synchronizing the Witch Factor of Sloth within Subaru and introducing him to it, and was after all the Witch of Greed and likely held or did hold the Witch Factor of Greed that resided in him.
"Mother...did?" Beatrice once again was taken aback.
"Yes...I have a portion of the Authority of Sloth and Greed within me. Dona was the one who told me all about them, and provided me with a method to synchronize the Witch Factors. I owe her a lot. And while I don't know everything, I knew you and her...had a connection." While Subaru had many differences with Echidna, and from he recalled he absolutely abhorred what Echidna had put in Beatrice's Gospel; he couldn't deny that without her help he wouldn't have been able to get as far as he did. Even if he did end up going back all the way to Zero in the end.
Beatrice stayed silent, looking at him. Subaru knew that all this information was a shock for her, but he had to continue hammering his point home. "Please...I mean no harm to anyone here. My only hope is to help the residents of this mansion in any way I can, and help Emilia become Queen of Lugunica."
Beatrice raised her hand, and Subaru flinched slightly, but she quickly dropped it. "You're not lying, I suppose. And...if you were intending to harm anyone here, you wouldn't have used your Authority to protect Emilia at risk of your own life. And...Betty can tell, you- you know Mother. You have her Scent on you; it is very faint, but still there.
"So, do you believe me then?" His face lit up slightly.
"Unfortunately…" Beatrice didn't sound very happy at realizing that Subaru was correct, "It appears Betty has to. But don't think this changes anything; Betty still doesn't trust you. Even if your intentions may seem benign, you could still become a liability."
Subaru paused, then grinned as he had an idea. "Then, how about you form a Contract with me, Beatrice!"
"A what." The loli just looked at him in disbelief, as if she couldn't quite believe what Subaru had just said.
"A Contract! In return for keeping this whole Authority business a secret, I'll allow you to monitor me to make sure that I stay on the path of righteousness!" Subaru smiled at her, pointing his hand up in a dramatic pose.
Beatrice seemed to seriously consider the option; and Subaru knew he guessed correctly that such an idea would have some appeal to her. Not only would she be able to easily keep an eye on him, it would also crucially give her the ability to interact with someone who had a link to Echidna. Subaru felt guilty for tempting her with that bait, but he knew it had to be done. If only to protect himself, and the rest of the mansion later on.
"Fine then, I suppose. A Temporary Contract."
"A Contract is a Contract." Subaru grinned, as Beatrice shook her head slightly, as if partly regretting what she was about to do.
Beatrice sighed, but then spoke her terms of the Contract. "First, I will monitor you while you are here by the connection established in our Contract with each other. Second, you will do no harm to no one nor the mansion itself with or without your Authority." Thirdly, you will answer any questions Betty has regarding the nature of your Authority…" She trailed off, debating as to whether to add in anything else. "And, you will also tell Betty what you know about Mother."
The last term took Subaru slightly by surprise, but given that he had just used his connection with Echidna as a way to get Beatrice to work with him, he figured he shouldn't be. "Your terms are acceptable. In turn, I ask that you protect me during the length of this Contract. And, you must not tell anyone else about my Authority unless I give you explicit permission."
Beatrice didn't seem particularly enthusiastic about the last one, likely because the thought of keeping secrets from Puck wasn't something very appealing to her. That was something both her and Emilia shared.
"I know...you and Puck are close. And you don't like the idea of keeping secrets from him. But Beatrice, you know as well as I that if he found out about my powers he would immediately consider me a threat to Emilia. And I'd rather not have a tiny grey cat turn me into a popsicle today. Especially before I get my date with Emilia-tan."
"Betty has no idea what you mean by a popsicle, I suppose. But...Betty does agree to your terms. Although Betty is not happy about keeping any secrets from Bubby." She offered her hand to take his to seal the Contract.
"I understand, Beatrice." He took her hand, and even with his small ability to use magic, Subaru could feel through his Gate the Contract being made. "Believe me. When the time is right, they'll know everything."
"Hmph. You better not be trying to just make Betty feel better for keeping secrets from Bubby, I suppose." Beatrice turned around, looking to head back to her chair.
That went better than expected. I already have a Contract with Beako, and I've secured her trust, or at least her silence. Subaru couldn't believe his luck, and it seemed things were finally looking up for him in this loop. Still, there was one more thing to do here before he left.
"So, you don't know what a popsicle is, huh? Well, in that case...we're going to have to go make some! Come on, Beako!" He promptly grabbed her hand, leading her to the kitchen of the Roswaal mansion.
"H-hey! Where are you taking Betty?! And why are you referring to Betty with such a mindless nickname, I suppose!" Beatrice was annoyed, but soon gave a sigh, and went along with him anyway.
"We're going to make popsicles!" Subaru half-shouted, and he and the artificial spirit began to head for the kitchen. Popsicle making awaited.
It was early in the evening, just around 6 when Subaru hurriedly ran out onto the lawn of the mansion, hoping to catch up with Emilia. He held a popsicle in each hand, having managed to save some of the ones that he and Beatrice had made earlier. He saw her out on the grass, waiting for him and waving.
"Hey Subaru! You're here early, I take it you aren't in the mood to dilly-dally."
"Who even says that anymore Emilia?" He chuckled, as Subaru came to a stop in front of her, still holding onto the two popsicles. He held one out to her, smiling.
Emilia blinked, taking it. "What's this?"
"It's a special desert from where I come from. It's called a popsicle! A frozen treat made up of flavored ice, or in this case, Lemanade." He explained, careful to remember that in this world, lemons went by the name "lemas". The naming conventions in Lugunica were something that Subaru felt even with all the language training and loops he went threw he could never truly get.
"Frozen...lemanade…" Emilia blinked, and bit into it, chewing a bit of the popsicle in her mouth. "This is really~ good, Subaru! It's so yummy!"
Subaru smiled. "I hope it would be, Beatrice and I made them with a bit of help from Rem. She froze them for us. We had to improvise with chopsticks because there weren't any other items to hold the popsicles on hand. There's still some in the kitchen's icebox if you ever want more. And I can always teach you how if you want."
Emilia smiled back at him. "I think I would like that a lot. Maybe we could do it as one of those...daytes you mentioned during lunch."
"Ah, a date?" Subaru blushed. "A date with Emilia-tan making popsicles? Well, it's not what I planned for, but if it would please my lovely Emilia-tan I would be more than delighted to!"
Emilia paused, looking at him. "Subaru...why did you add the "-tan" to my name?"
Right...she doesn't remember that. He sighed, as there was much Subaru needed to talk to Emilia about.
Emilia had been on edge the entire time Subaru had explained his usage of Return By Death to her, and part of him feared that Emilia would be unable to keep her composure as a result of the knowledge she gained from it. He did his best to skip over the details of dying and focus more on the mechanics of RBD, but it still was a very heavy subject for both her and him to whatever reason though, she managed to brave it. Although she did seem very depressed at the prospect of Subaru having gone through all those deaths.
"And so...you've died so many times." She shuddered, "I, or anyone else...never knew about it all."
Subaru nodded. They were sitting in the gazebo by each other, close enough that he could reach his arm around her if he wanted. "No...believe me Emilia, I wanted to tell you. But I couldn't, the Witch wouldn't let me."
"At least- now you can." She smiled slightly, and then looked at him, considering her next words carefully. "All those deaths...is that- that the real reason why you were unconscious for those two days?
Subaru thought back to his mental breakdown at the end, as memories of his death at the hands of Rem came flooding back into his skull. He felt the urge to cry right then and there, but resisted. "You- you truly are perceptive Emilia-tan. There was the physical stress I endured from the fight, and I...it's hard to explain, part of my mind just stopped- stopped working. I just...couldn't take it anymore. I broke."
Emilia gave him a gaze of deep sympathy. "Do you- you still feel that you might 'break' Subaru? Wait- not to phrase it like that, I-"
He interrupted her with a dry chuckle, turning to look into her deep amethyst eyes. "It's ok Emilia. I...well after you comforted me, I felt better. And interacting with Beako was nice, and with you. I feel much better than I did previously. I know though that I'll once again feel like I might 'break' again soon. Especially if- when I have to use RBD again."
"In that case…" Emilia paused, and stood up and half-pointed at him. "Then I will do my best to protect you, Subaru and ensure you won't have to use Return by Death!"
Subaru couldn't help but protest, "H-hey, wait. I'm the one who should be protecting you, Emilia-tan!"
"You already did, you dummy! And from what I know of you now, you've done it by sacrificing yourself over and over!" She raised her voice, surprising Subaru. Emilia could show a lot of determination when she wanted to, he just didn't expect it this early in the timeline. "Just because you come back from dying doesn't mean your life isn't just as important as anyone else's, Subaru!"
A small part of Subaru wanted to respond, but he knew that Emilia was correct. He had sacrificed himself so many times, and he had suffered greatly for it. If it wasn't for Satella's intervention and Emilia's kindness, Subaru wouldn't of even been here. He would have been locked inside himself in bed, still completely broken mentally and emotionally.
And even with that...I sometimes feel like I'm constantly hanging on by a thread. Subaru thought.
Emilia, noting his silence, took on a downcast expression. It was clear that she hadn't intended to be as assertive as she had been. "O-oh, sorry I yelled, I just-"
She raised a hand to try to set on his shoulder to comfort him, but Subaru grabbed it with his own, squeezing lightly. "No...you're-you're right Emilia. Absolutely right. And to be honest, I kinda needed to hear that."
He smiled slightly and paused, thinking for a moment before speaking again, "All this time...I've had to deal with RBD by myself. I'm not going to lie to you, Emilia...it's- it's taken its toll on me. Hell, I can't even remember much of what I've done in past loops. My memory has really been on the decline lately. It's why it took me time to get us through the Slums in the Capitol; at one point I didn't even know where I was going, to be honest..."
"After all you have been through, memory trouble is nothing to be ashamed of. And if you are having difficulty Subaru, then I will just have to help you remember!" Emilia said firmly, before speaking, "I mean, not that I exactly know how to; but I'm sure if we try our best we can both come up with some way to help you know more about what happened in the past!"
Subaru chuckled a bit, nodding his head. "I'm sure we will Emilia-tan, I'm sure. Right now, I feel even better just talking to you about it. It's like a weight that's been lifted off of my shoulders."
"I'm glad to hear that." Emilia smiled. "And Subaru...even if you end- end up dying…" Her voice became more quiet, and Subaru could see she was doing her best not to shed any tears.
"I'll be here for you. Even if- if you have to use Return by Death, know that you won't have to go through it alone. I may not understand it all completely even with the explanation of it you've given me; and I still am really~ concerned about your…'relationship' with Satella. But I really~ will be there for you, just as you have been for me. Even if I don't remember all those times you were." Despite her troubled expression, the same optimistic determination that Emilia always showed was there.
He smiled and squeezed her hand again. Subaru admittedly wondered if perhaps Satella's contact with Emilia had triggered something in the young half-elf, as while Emilia always had faith and trust in him, he hadn't expected for her to have that much early on. Now however was not the time to focus on that, as they still had much to discuss. However, the resulting conversation had been fairly lengthy, and despite Emilia's support Subaru felt stressed and overworked. Not to mention he still needed to deal with the urgent situation of the Mabeasts; but he figured he could enlist Beatrice's assistance as him being her contractor, however temporary it would be.
"You don't know how much your support means to me, Emilia-tan."
"Well, I think I do, actually. Considering that the Witch of Envy pulled me into a vision and began to almost plead with me to help you. While part of me doesn't really~ understand why, I know that I must be very important to you." Emilia , thinking before she continued, "It was...surprising to see her like that. I expected the Witch of Envy to be much more forceful."
"That's because it wasn't the Witch of Envy. It was Satella." Subaru abruptly commented. They were still holding hands, although both didn't seem to notice.
"But...aren't they the same person?" Emilia seemed very confused at the statement.
"Sort of. Look, I know this is hard to explain…" Subaru trailed off, trying to search his mind for the proper words to convey about Satella's nature, "They aren't the same person, exactly. Satella has what you would call a split personality. The Witch of Envy is evil, Satella on the other hand...is better. She cares about how I am, even if I don't fully understand her or why she does."
Emilia nodded, although her brow was furrowed. Given the trouble that her similar appearance to Satella had caused her, Subaru suspected that grasping the concept of that Satella wasn't all bad would be difficult for Emilia. "So~ the Witch of Envy was the reason why you couldn't tell anyone about your ability?"
"Yeah...I don't think Satella approved of that. But even Satella herself is powerless to stop the Witch of Envy from doing certain things. Which means…" Subaru felt the dusty gears in his head begin to turn, as a thought came upon him, "Allowing me to speak to you about indicates just how concerned they both were about me."
"The circumstances must have been very dire, then." Emilia drew a hand up to her cheek. "She mentioned something about that...your circumstances. That you had gotten blocked by some sort of 'obstacle' and couldn't pass it; and your last option was to return back to when you first came to Lugunica. Do- do you know what had happened?"
Subaru tried to think hard, but the reason behind his coming back to Zero escaped him. At a certain point past his defeat of the White Whale his memories became more and more of a blur, and even before then they were muddy. It took a lot out of him to be able to properly recall a memory. "No. I've tried to remember, but I- I can't. As hard as I try, it's...it's too foggy."
"Please don't try too hard, then. You've already been through a lot, and I'm really~ sure that with time and help you will get them back." Emilia gave Subaru another optimistic smile, and he was powerless to do nothing but grin right back at her.
"Y'know, when you put it that way Emilia-tan, I already do feel better." After finishing his sentence, the two sat there for a bit, looking on as the last traces of the sun disappeared.
As they sat there, Subaru began to do some thinking on the current situation. Despite the troubling memory loss and decay, Subaru still knew that he had much to be thankful for. Having Emilia being able to know about RBD was a godsend; and he privately noted to thank Satella the next time he met her. While Satella was much willing to be lenient, the Witch was not, and he could only wonder what strings or arguments Satella pulled to get the Witch to agree.
Plus, even with how difficult the day had been, he could admit that it had made him fall in love with Emilia all over again. Of course that was something Subaru could never turn down.
But I can focus on Emilia-tan's amazing beauty later, right now getting my memories sorted along with taking care of the Mabeasts is the priority.
Oh, that's right. The Mabeasts. And it's Day 3 already! Internally Subaru began to panic, but he did his best to keep his cool. He still had tomorrow, and this time he would have more allies. With Emilia more able to assist, having the Authorities he didn't have previously, and a (temporary) contract with Beatrice already underway, things looked better for him than they had in other timelines. Still, he needed to inform Emilia and the others tonight, to convince them of the issue and help them prepare for tomorrow.
He stood up, abruptly breaking the hand hold that the two had. Subaru blinked, and blushed after realizing that the two had been holding hands for some time unknowingly. Emilia blushed as well, standing up alongside him. Part of him wanted to say a humorous remark or try to flirt about it, but he knew now wasn't the time.
"Time to go back, then?" Emilia asked.
"Yeah, I think so. It's getting pretty late after all. And Emilia, there's-"
He opened his mouth to speak, when they both heard footsteps quietly approaching them on the lawn. They were familiar. Too familiar. A memory twitched in his mind of a situation similar to the one now.
A single voice then spoke behind them as both Subaru and Emilia turned to look.
In retrospect, Subaru didn't even need to turn back to know who it was. He already knew. A chill went down his spine as his fists curled. The dread that he had managed to break through earlier was back in full force. It took all he had to hold himself together.
"Miss Emilia...please step away from him."
There stood the blue-haired Oni, holding her morningstar as she took careful steps toward the both of them. This would be the first test Subaru would have to deal with in his weakened state. There would be no running or escaping, no casual use of RBD to jump over a cliff to try again.
No.
For here, the final option open to Subaru was to stand up. For if he wanted to make it through this loop, he would have to go through Rem.
And that was something Subaru really wished he didn't have to do.
A/N: And it's been a few days, but we're back! Hopefully the next chapter will not take as long. As promised, below I'll respond to any questions from the reviews.
Ch:1
Klon 2: Well, while Arc 1 has already happened, it'll be interesting to see how Subaru handles her in the future.
Ch:2
USSRParrot: Beako is definitely catching onto what's going on with Subaru, and with her contract she'll have more opportunities to do so.
Ch.5
Saito-2000: Let's hope she does. But will she succeed?
alankordel958: Probably, yeah.
Guest: From what I understand Cor Leonis always gave him that ability to take on others physical burdens, at the cost of receiving injuries. Third Shift is more a natural evolution
Ch.6
Saito-2000: True, he could. But at this time ideally he would want to keep the timeline as close as he can to the original to make things more predictable for Subaru. Play it safe, so to speak.
Vosges: Unfortunately not. Anything that relies on knowledge or is outside the realm of the physical Subaru will keep hold of, but physical things such as wounds or things that are dependent on others (such as contracts) would be rolled back. Of course, there is the possibility that a previous contract in a past loop might somehow influence how Subaru makes contracts now, but it really is up in the air.
Ch.8:
Saito-2000: The former, yes. The latter? Well, we'll see.
Son kokun: See my answer to Vosges in Ch.6. But hey, he's got a (temporary) contract with Beako now, so Subaru has that going for him.