Custodian

Harry Potter/Highschool DxD

Harry Potter/?

I own nothing

This is my first fic in the Highschool DxD world.

XX: "But that's so much worse."

"Bu." Moaned Serafall as she rolled over, there was the briefest sensation of falling before the sound of sweat covered flesh, landed on sweat covered flesh. Serafall, slowly came to her senses as her normally glowing pink eyes were bloodshot.

She looked down, she was naked. She found she was resting on top of Harry; who looked rather grey. Then again, Serafall was pretty sure grey or alabaster was his natural colour. Serafall groaned, her body popped and cracked and she slowly got to her feet and headed towards the shower.

As she entered the shower, the warm water brought a sense of clarity to her. However, she wasn't showering alone, her bloodshot eyes picked out Harry making his way into the shower to join her. "Harry, what happened?"

Harry stilled slightly "Germany happened. We're still in Germany, anyway…Beer. Lots of beer and I think there was a concert."

Harry nodded and his arms wrapped around Serafall's waist, Serafall moaned slightly under his touch and rocked against him. "Harry, thanks…for…everything. The beer; the last four pints I blame on you squarely. The gorgeous food, all those sausages! And whatever happened when we got back."

Harry chuckled "I'm pretty sure we broke the bed."

Serafall giggled "Didn't you say you could buy the hotel?"

Harry shrugged "I'll have to check me accounts. Wizarding ones, most likely, the Devil one…maybe."

Serafall giggled again "How long a break do you have from your clients?"

"I've booked two weeks off from them. But I'm planning to do a massive event; beer, food, movies etc. I'll sign it off under Sona, Rias and a few others make it a right good proper party. Who knows, I'll probably owe Kiba and Koneko a few very big favours."

"Stabbing and punching post…Kiba and Koneko for all their polite guises as respectable servants of Gremory, are notoriously petty."

Harry chuckled "I more than deserve quite few of Koneko's strikes…it's not my fault she's so adorable on catnip." He chuckled as he summoned the shampoo and began cleaning up his latest claim.

Serafall purred as her new servants calloused hands cleaned her hair "And you do deserve all of their rage for the trolling."

Harry shrugged "They're only annoyed because I don't care how bad the situation is after I've sorted out the problem. I'm 95% sure that I told Rias that I've 'had enough of being the Counter-Guardian of situations' what no-one knows is how reluctant I am to get involved in the first place."

Serafall's eyes widened in realisation "So that's why you're drinking alcohol consistently when summoned to my cute little So-tan and Zechs-chan's little sister, to administer your words of trolling."

"Yup. Give them such outlandishly bad ideas, that are so evidently bad that they're forced to think up their own solutions. Now what does it say about them if they, actually, heed my pearls of drunken ramblings as gospel."

Serafall grabbed Harry's hand and reluctantly pulled him out of the cooling shower "Sera, what's the plan?" Harry asked as he subtly began to heat his body up negating the need for a towel.

"I do have work that requires doing…"

Harry's eyes glittered with amusement "Do you want to do something so bloody dumb, it's a genuinely brilliant idea?"

Serafall, mimicked Harry giving Harry a full view "Go on."

"Flip off work. Call off two weeks, one week up here and one week just at the Leviathan Estate; if anyone asks I suckered you into drinking a few of my…interesting brews."

Serafall, positioned herself on Harry's lap "You sure that's going to work?"

"If I can troll a Rating Game, then drink you under the table…it's plausible."

Serafall giggled at that "And if my little So-tan requires your intervention? What about your friends?"

"Sona's a big girl. It's her idiot dragon that I'm more concerned about on her peerage, Neville can sort it out. As for my friends…I cast a long shadow; they're just as good as me at being phenomenal pains in the ass. Seamus, one of the best pyromaniacs in the business; Dean can drop a kaleidoscope of illusions that make you think you've taken hallucinogenic's…and he may have caught me in one of them."

"How do you think Rias is coping?"

"I'm pretty sure they'll be fine. I bet they'll have managed to settle any accidentally triggered egos with the Astaroth Heir."

(Team Rias)

Seamus calmly launched a streak of fire towards one Diodora's four Bishops. One of them smirked as they seemingly stopped the streak of fire "Sorry, lass…" Seamus snapped his fingers "I activate my fireball." The Bishop controlling Asia and Gasper's movements her eyes widened as the fireball detonated obscuring her vision of the duo.

She'd had explicit orders from her king, to deter every single attacker from attacking them. However, she'd underestimated this human, this utterly dogged almost single minded human had forced her to break her Kings spell! "How! How did you get me to break my Kings spell!"

Seamus retaliated with another fire spell this one shaped into a dragon "Simple, never focus on the caster. Always focus on the target. I figured they're more valuable alive than dead. Now as for you…" an over powered stunning spell accompanied by a rope binding one ensured her compliance.

"Normally, my boss would suffocate you but I'm not into BDSM. Now please withdraw; this is about to get nastier and I'd rather not a pretty face get caught up in it." She retired just as the wall caved in and the remains of the second Bishop coated Seamus in blood as a torn and tattered Kuoh Highschool uniform of Akeno and Rias arrived.

Rias was in a slightly better state as her bra had remained unscathed, whereas Akeno was more or less naked. Considering Seamus had seen Akeno in her Shrine Maiden attire, he was able to cover Akeno "I'd rather not get distracted and killed whilst helping pretty women. Besides, Harry's pretty good at necromancy even though he says he isn't."

Akeno blushed "Seamus, you're a rather skilled practitioner of the arcane aren't you. It seems Harry wasn't wrong about bringing you all here."

"Harry's not wrong about finding talent. Speaking of, that's the two Bishops dealt with. Where's the rest of us? Specifically Xenovia."

The King and Queen shrugged "Team Gremory tends to make a lot of noise. So just follow the noise. We're slightly concerned that you're not worried about your friends."

"Nev's a fucking defender. Shields for days, Hermione has more weird spells than I can shake a stick at. Dean's far too much of a Troll Illusionist to get taken out. Harry taught all of us, we're fucking awesome at not losing our shit in a crisis."

Just then the floor exploded as Xenovia appeared. Her body suit was caked in blood and on her second sword was the head of one of Astoraths Rooks. "Sorry about the mess…" As Seamus wiped the remains of the intestines off his face.

"Always wanted to be Kerry…" Seamus retorted seeing the deadpan expressions "... Bad time? For that joke?"

"Accurate but yes. Seems you learnt Harry's bad sense of humour."

"No, he got that from us."

"Somehow that's much worse. Why is it that since Harry's not here everything has gone more or less to plan?" Rias asked.

"Because Harry has the worst luck and is known as 'Murphy'. Also, he doesn't seem to be powered by a libido; more powered by apocalyptic trolling. Before you ask, I think he's doing Leviathan things with Leviathan in Germany."

Rias nodded before she turned to her newly restored Bishops. However like all good things, there was a spike in magical energies as Issei, Kiba, Koneko, Hermione, Neville and Dean were blown unceremoniously to Rias's feet as Diodora and a handsome man dressed in black armor with a cape. He had long brown hair that went to his hips with many bangs covering his right eye appeared from the ruined wall.

"These pathetic whelps defeated your peerage? Very well, boy…you had better be right that they're worth my time." The taller man stated before turning to Rias.

"Greetings and good evening, my Lady of Gremory; I am Shalba Beelzebub, the True Lord of the Beelzebub name." Shalba announced dramatically, he pulsed his magical aura and let fly with bee-like spells.

"I propose a horrible idea! I guarantee you even Harry wouldn't do it!" Neville called as he conjured forth the 'Longbottom Loadout' a wall of black granite, created by the Longbottoms and infused with Longbottom magic every time it was created. Hundreds of years of Longbottom legacy bloomed into existence hoping to intercept the two spells.

"What could be worse than Harry and his plans?"

"We stand and fight, Lord Beelzebub, right here and now; then hope Harry comes in drunken stupidity to befuddle, bedazzle and be a bumbling disaster of his own demise taking Beelzebub with him!"

"Neville, that's a horrible plan. Even more horrible than Harry's plans. I love it, but I hate that we have to do this." Rias declared, sigils of House Gremory illuminating around her.