"Y-You have a boyfriend?"
It feels like someone has just punched you in the stomach. You had expected a lot of outcomes after sleeping together but out of all the things you had thought about, finding out that Santana was actually in a relationship, with a child, when you slept together was definitely not one of them.
"Yeah, I do" She whispers, looking down at her fingers.
"B-But we slept together." You whimper and clear your throat, not wanting to cry since now that the initial shock has gone, you just feel angry.
"I know and I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you before that, I know I should have, it was wrong for me to do that and I know that now and I really do like you, Britt" She sniffs, wiping her tears and you feel kind of bad seeing how she's so upset yet you're still so mad. "And I have never felt like I did on that night before, ever. I've never wanted something so much."
"I felt the same way." You agree, "Which is exactly why you should have told me."
"If I told you I had a boyfriend, would you still have slept with me?"
"No!" You protest, "Maybe. I don't know."
It's not like you haven't done it before, actually back then you knew about the relationship, but in your defence you were eighteen and the girl's boyfriend was an ass. But, you're more mature now, at least you think you are. Plus your relationship with Santana means a lot more to you then some dumb high school drama.
"Look, Santana." You state softly, grabbing a hold of her hands, "I like you too. But, Santana, what happened wasn't fair on me or your boyfriend."
"I know." She cries, "And you I should have respected you both more than that and i'm not excusing what I did because I knew I was wrong, it's just that you're making me have all of these fucking feelings that scare me and I really do like you, Britt. As more than a friend but things are so complicated."
You just stroke your thumb against her hands and watch as her cries go down to quiet sniffs.
"So, we are friends?" You ask softly, pulling your hands away and handing her a napkin to wipe her face with.
"What? Of course we are." She confirms, "That's if you still want to be, I meant what I said when I said I can't lose you. I need you in my life even if we can only be friends."
"Then why did you put me in the freezer?" You ask, "Is it because you were trying to hide Luca from me?"
"No, I didn't even know he was coming in, his dad got called into work and had to drop him off until my mom could come for him." She explains and reaches for your hands but you pull away and rest them in your lap, you ignore the sad look on her face, "I was never trying to hide him, if things weren't so awkward between us I would have introduced you two properly."
"So, why the freezer?"
"I'm sorry" She apologies, once again, "I didn't even want to put you there but Will said that I had to put you on a section that you haven't worked before and that was the only one left. The freezer sucks, even if you hated me I still wouldn't have put you there, I just didn't really have a choice. Turns out Will figured out I play favourite's so I couldn't even argue with him or I could lose being Floor Manager. It also helped that I wouldn't get to see you."
"But I thou-"
"I don't trust myself around you, Britt," She exclaims, "Everytime I see you, I just wanna kiss you and have you hold me like you did on Friday and that's not fair and it's something that I can't do right now. Or ever.
"But, why not?"
"You know why."
"No I don't." You point out, "I don't get it, Santana. Yeah, I understand that you have a boyfriend but what's the point of being with him if i'm the person you want to kiss?"
"I told you, it's complicated." She sniffs, her eyes watering again.
"Why? Because you have a son?"
Santana doesn't answer, she puts her head down and you reach to put your hands on hers again, causing her shoulders to shake.
"I get that you just want what's best for your son, I do. But, what about what's best for you?"
"You don't understand." She sobs and your heart starts to break a little more.
"Then make me understand." You whisper, but she just pulls her hands out of your grasp.
"I-I can't do this right now, Britt." She shakes her head before standing up. "I gotta go pick Luca up, I'll see you tomorrow."
You watch as she walks out of the café, still wiping her tears, as your own tears fall.
You're lying in bed, replaying everything that's happened today and you're not sure if you're more pissed off about Santana sleeping with you while in a relationship or sad about the fact that Santana is in a relationship.
There's one thing you do know though. You feel sorry for Santana. You have no idea why she's still with him when she clearly doesn't want to be.
Reaching out for your phone on your nightstand, you open up the texts app.
To Santana: Are you okay?
From Santana: Yup
From Santana: You?
To Santana: Not really. Can we talk more tomorrow?
From Santana: Nothing else to talk about.
From Santana: We're friends. That's all we can be
Okay, so now you're equally pissed and sad.
The next day you walk into the locker room and are instantly pouting, as always, when you see Santana from across the room look up at you before carrying on her conversation with Mercedes. No smile, no wave, nothing.
You walk up to your locker when you're greeted by an also pouting Mike, which you end up poking and laughing as he starts swatting your hands away.
"Aww, what's wrong Mikey?" You ask, "Girl trouble? Guy trouble?"
"I think something's going on between Quinn and Tina." He frowns, putting on his waistcoat and you do the same.
"Oh, there's definitely something going on. They are not subtle." You chuckle but stop when you see the sad look on Mikes face, "I mean- I don't know for sure."
"It's just that I really like Quinn, y'know? And now she's apparently off with someone else."
You do know. In fact, you know more than you'd like about that.
"Well it could be worse." You shrug.
"How?"
She could actually be in a relationship with a child and despite liking you and wanting to kiss you she won't break up with her boyfriend?
You don't say that though. Even though you're pretty sure Mike knows about Luca and Santana's boyfriend, it means that you have to tell him that you both like each other.
"I dunno. Just could."
"Maybe." He mumbles, "So why were you pouting? I saw."
"I always pout."
"Yeah, when you're upset about something." He points out and as much as you love Mike and want to talk to someone, you know you can't.
"It's nothing I promise." You smile, before poking his pout again and walking out onto the floor again to find out where Santana is making you work today.
If it's the freezer again you might have to get the raccoon to eat her shoes.
Once again you're waiting at the back of employees waiting for Santana to call out your name and breathe out a sigh of relief when she puts Tina, once again and Connor in the freezer. You really need to know why she keeps putting Tina in the freezer.
You're looking at Tina scowling at Santana when you hear your name being called, "Brittany." At least she's calling you your first name again, "You're on customer service. You know what to do right?" She asks and you just give her a nod.
You've only been on customer service once before and you had Santana with you the whole time but you know you're probably not going to see her this time. It's pretty easy to do though, you just sit, make announcements, give customers refunds and hope that no one gets mad and shouts at you if you can't give them a refund.
Everyone goes their own way to where they need to be for the day but you decide to stay behind and watch as Santana stays in the same position and reads from the clipboard.
You wish you had a clipboard. You think that they can make anyone look really smart and professional, which you definitely need since you don't even have a high school diploma.
"Hey." You smile hesitantly and walk closer towards the brunette.
"Need help with something?" She asks, not looking up.
"Oh no, I was just wondering if we could talk later? Maybe on our break or after shift?"
"Nothing to talk about." She shrugs.
"Yes, there is."
"Oh, yeah? Like what?"
"Like why you're still with your boyfriend when it's obvious you don't want to be with him." You argue and you know that you shouldn't be getting in between their relationship but after yesterday's conversation it's clear that Santana is unhappy.
"Because I love him, that's why." She snaps, "Not that it's any of your business."
"It became my business when you slept with me and then broke down in front of me."
"Well not anymore. It was a mistake." She shrugs like it's nothing, "You better go, we're about to open."
And now you're just pissed.
Customer Service ends up being easier than you thought. It's been two hours and so far all you've done is deal with one customer and made an announcement about half price on potato smileys. The worst thing about the job is having a numb ass.
It turns out you were right, you hadn't seen Santana, but in all honesty you're glad since you're still mad and would probably end up having another conversation that leads to one of you in tears. That's what's been happening in all of your conversations recently.
Maybe Santana was right. It was a mistake.
You miss the old Santana. Well, not the old Santana because she's still the same. You just miss the old Santana and Brittany. The Santana and Brittany who ended up being the type of friends that everyone else is jealous of.
You're brought out of your thoughts when Santana ends up proving you wrong about seeing her. You sit at the counter, arms folded and listen as the sound of her heels clicking gets louder as she gets closer and you notice that she has a piece of paper in her hand, which she hands to you, "Here's the next announcement."
"You sure you want me to do them? Or are you gonna regret that too?" You scowl, snatching the paper.
She doesn't reply. She just rolls her eyes before walking away.
Maybe you were too harsh about that but when you're stuck by yourself and doing nothing for two hours, all you can do is think and that's all you can think about. You're pretty sure you ran out of thoughts to think about after your third shift here.
This job has seriously broken your brain.
And heart.
Except that wasn't exactly the job's fault.
Setting the paper on the counter you grab the microphone and are about to press the speaker button when Quinn walks over to you scowling and sits on the counter with a huff.
"Why do you look pissed?" She asks.
"Why do you look pissed?"
She lets out a sigh before replying, "Stuff with Tina."
"Already?"
Hasn't it only been three days?
"Yeah." She moans, rolling her eyes. You wish people would stop rolling your eyes at you. "She pretty much ended things before they even started. Something about not having time for a relationship between work and college."
"Even though she has a crush on Mike?"
"What? Mike?" She gasps, brushing blonde hair behind her ear.
"Yeah, you didn't know?"
You thought everyone knew about Tina's crush on Mike.
"No I didn't. You think that could happen?" She asks in a soft voice.
"I don't know."
Sure, Tina is in love with Mike but maybe she's telling the truth about not having time for a relationship? Or maybe just a relationship with Quinn. Plus you're not even sure if Mike likes Tina like that. You know he likes Quinn like that though.
Arrow really needs to stop hiring people who are easy to develop a crush on.
"I just don't get it." Quinn complains, "We had a great weekend, I even took her out for dinner, and I felt like it was actually going somewhere, you know?"
Yeah, you do know.
"And then when I bring up a potential future relationship she says that it can't happen because she needs to focus on school?"
You're about to reply when the intercom interrupts you, "Staff announcement,"
It's Santana. Of course.
"Can Brittany Pierce please give out the customer announcement like you should have done ten minutes ago. Thank you."
You look around for the brunette and spot her at one of the intercoms near the registers.
Picking up your own, you reply, "Well, since you're already on the intercom where everyone can hear you, why don't you do it?"
"Because it's not my job." She snaps.
"Fine." You huff, "Customer announcement, there is currently a two for one on all chips that are in aisle nine. Also, if you're thinking about sleeping with someone, please make sure that they're aware that you're in a relationship."
You look over to see Santana roll her eyes at you once again before slamming the intercom back in the holder and walking in the opposite direction to you.
"Oh, also if you see a goat wandering around the store please just ignore him, I'm sure he'll find his way out eventually. However, if you see a raccoon, please run. He's pretty territorial over the store and may attack you. We also think he has rabies. Thank you."
"Seriously?" Quinn gives you a confused look.
"What? I seriously think he does." You explain, "Poor Rodger."
"No, I mean about the other thing. Who did you sleep with who was in a relationship?"
Shit, were you that obvious?
"Oh-erm," You stutter, "My ex. I just found out he cheated on me."
Technically it's not a lie. He did really cheat on you but you found out ages ago and you don't really care about that anymore.
"Oh. I'm sorry." She apologies, placing her hand on your arm.
"It's fine." You shrug off, "We've been broken up for a while. Just pissed a little."
"Well as long as you're okay." Quinn smiles and hops off the counter, "I better get back to work before Lopez calls me out over the intercom too. I'll see you later."
"Bye."
Sighing, you watch as Quinn walks away to help a customer and you decide to people watch, which you've learnt is the only thing that stops you from dying of boredom.
Just as you get invested in watching a man fail miserably at trying to open a packet of toothbrushes that he hasn't paid for, you spot a familiar someone standing by the exit doors looking at the grabber machine.
Seeing the young boy, who somehow looks more like his mother today in his overalls, you stand up and glance around noticing that once again he's alone.
You exit the customer service counter and walk towards the boy, whose face is now pressed up against the plastic looking at the stuffed toys inside.
"Hey Luca." You smile and he gives you a wave before focusing his attention back on a stuffed giraffe. "Where's your mom?"
"Outside."
You look up and see through the glass doors at Santana and a tall man with brown hair who you're assuming is Luca's father and despite Luca being Santana's miniature clone you can still see the similarities between him and his father. They have the same nose and ears.
You don't focus on the man for long though since you can easily tell that whatever they're talking about isn't a good conversation. Santana looks mad. Like more pissed than she's ever been. You can tell she's shouting at the man, who shouts at her back, and she points inside and then to herself.
Shit. He doesn't know does he? About you and Santana? What if he's come here to beat you up for trying to take his girl?
"Be right back." You say to Luca before walking out of the exit doors where Santana and her boyfriend are.
"You can't keep bringing him here!" Santana shouts.
"I'm sorry but I got called in to work." The man argues back.
"Yeah? Well I'm actually at work, Dan, I can't just sit and watch him. You could have said no!"
"How could I say no? We need the money now more than ever since you're cutting your hours to go to college."
You just watch as Santana scoffs at him but gains composure as she notices you lingering in the doorway.
"Sorry, I can watch him for a bit if you want? My break starts in like five minutes." You offer.
"Yeah thanks." Dan says and gives Santana a kiss on the cheek, "I gotta go, love you."
Watching as he steps into his car you see Santana wipe her cheek, something she didn't do when you kissed her cheek.
"Thank you." She nods, "It won't be for long, his uncle should be on his way."
"I thought you were an only child?"
"I am, he's Dan's brother." She tells you and the two of you walk back into the store where Luca is staring into the claw machine.
You can't help but smile as Santana creeps up behind Luca, picking him up and laughs as he squeals.
"Okay baby, Momma's gotta work but Britt-Britt's gonna keep an eye on you so be good okay?"
"'Kay, can I play the machine? I wanna giraffe. Please." He begs, putting his arms around Santana's neck.
"Another giraffe?" Santana gasps and you can't help but fall a little more watching her be so soft and gentle with her son, "Well okay but only because you've been a good boy."
"I'm always a good boy." He smirks and you giggle at Santana's scoff.
"Uh huh, sure and I'm always good too." She jokes, before putting Luca back on the floor and handing him a couple dollars, "Bye baby."
She places a kiss on his head and heads off and Luca turns to you handing you the money, "Win me a giraffe, please."
You groan inwardly at the thought of having yet another fight with the claw machine. How are you supposed to win Luca a giraffe when last time you needed Santana to win you Doris. What if you can't get it and Luca cries? Then you might as well just move to a completely different shitty town and fall in love with your new kind of boss since Santana will probably hate you forever.
"Errr, okay."
Turns out you didn't actually win Luca the giraffe. He ended up winning it himself. After the first two times, where you had utterly failed, Luca took over and won it after his first shot and told you that his momma taught him a trick on how to win everytime. You really wanted to learn the trick but he wouldn't tell you since Santana told him it was too secret which was for the best otherwise you would probably end up having a shrine of stuffed toys from Arrow's claw machine.
You only ended up watching Luca for about twenty minutes when his uncle came and picked him up and in that time, after he won his giraffe that you helped name Gerald, you wandered around the store together looking at toys where he told you all about his last soccer game and his collection of power rangers.
You're back sitting at the customer service counter where you continue with your people watching when you feel your phone buzz in your back pocket. Cautiously pulling it out incase anyone is watching, not that it should matter since your boss will literally let anyone get away with murder, you see that it's a text from Santana.
From Santana: We can talk after work.
Anxiously you wait inside your car, keeping an eye on the exit doors, waiting for Santana to meet you so that you could talk.
She never texted you anything else after you had replied with a simple 'okay', and even though you had your suspicions about what you were going to talk about, you didn't know any other details like last time where she told you to go to the café.
As you see her walk out, and like you without the mandatory Arrow waistcoat, you take a deep breath and mentally prepare yourself, watching her as she gets closer to your car. Despite knowing she's there you can't help but jump a little when she opens the passenger side door and sits down.
"Sorry for keeping you waiting, I know you finished a little while ago but some bitch wouldn't decide on what pasta to buy. Like it's just a different fucking shape, what does it matter." She rants, running her hand through her hair.
You decide not to speak on your thoughts about pasta since you can't deal with another argument, especially about pasta. Even though you definitely think the shape changes the taste. It's science.
"So, where too?" She asks, turning her head to you, noticing the confused look on your face she explains that Dan dropped her off at work this morning and now since he ended up working she has to walk home.
Unlike last time, where you were surrounded by people, you drive to a park nearby so that it's more private and peaceful.
Once the car is in park the two of you just sit in an awkward silence whilst looking out of the front window watching the trees sway in the wind.
It's not long until Santana breaks the silence when she clears her throat and once again thanks you for watching Luca.
"S'okay. He's a great kid."
"Yeah, he is." She whispers and turns to her to see that her eyes are already watering. Once again, she clears her throat, "I really am sorry, Britt. For everything, for ignoring you, for being an ass to you, for not telling you the truth and for not being able to give you what you want."
"What about what you want?" You ask, wiping the tear that falls down her face.
"I want my son to be happy. I want him to have a stable family. Something that I never got."
"But you're not happy?"
"I-I don't know." She cries, "I love Dan, I do. Just not in the way that I should love the person who I'm with. I never have. And honestly I don't think that he loves me in that way too.
"Then why did either of you want to date in the first place?"
"Because I got pregnant." She laughs, but you can tell it's not a good laugh. She just cries harder, "I fell in love with my best friend."
"The one who was a bitch from high school? Who you catfished into going to Australia?"
"Yup, her. I was stupid enough to love her and I was even stupider when I decided to tell her, but it was graduation and I didn't want to keep it a secret y'know? I wanted it to be more than just a high school crush so I told her, and she laughed in my face, told me I wasn't capable of being loved and that she never wanted to see me again and if I ever went near her after that then she would tell everyone that I was gay." Santana explains, more tears falling, "So I did what I did best. I made sure I got revenge and ended up fucking my life up in the process."
"What'd you do?" You whisper.
"I fucked her boyfriend."
"Dan?"
"Yup. Who also happened to be my other best friend but I was just so pissed off and I wanted to try and be normal, so I slept with him, got pregnant, turned down my place at NYU, decided to stay with Dan because I was scared in case that bitch really did tell anyone and no one would believe her if I was with a guy right? So, i've been stuck in this shit hole ever since, living the same shitty life everyday." She breathes out, "And I'm not saying I regret Luca, because I don't, he is the best and only good thing I have in my life, I just wish I did it right. That I went to college, got a better job and had him with someone who I actually loved and who loved me back.
"You can still do that, Santana." You coax, "You're starting college classes soon so you can get a better job, a job that makes you happy. And you can still be with someone who actually makes you happy."
She looks up at you and moves her face closer to yours but just as fast she pulls back, shaking her head, "I can't. At least now Dan's my best friend, I can't lose him and what if I can't get any better then what I have now? What if this is the best I'm ever gonna get? I'm sorry, Britt, but, I can't just break up my family for something that might not be worth it."
"You don't think I'm worth it?"
She doesn't reply. You just nod, your own tears falling.
Even though you don't like it, you understand her reasoning. She's scared. She's scared of being alone, of change, of losing her friendship, breaking up her son's family, she's scared of losing everything. Her entire life.
You wrap your arms around her shoulders, pulling her into a hug while she sobs into your shoulder, whimpering i'm sorrys.
You have no other option than to accept her decision and just be there for her as a friend and even if you two never end up together, you just hope that one day she finally allows herself to be truly happy. It's what she deserves.
"Can we at least be friends again?" You ask, your voice soft as you hold her, "Like we were before? I miss you."
"We'll be better friends. Or at least I'll be a better friend to you. I promise." She breathes against your neck, "I missed you too, Britt-Britt."
reminder that this isloosely based off of superstore in which santana is amy who alsowas in a relationship with a child (i just changed husband to bf to make things less complicated) that was also kept a secret from viewers and jonah and was the main reason that stopped amy and jonah from being together so i kinda followed that but changed things to make it more angsty otherwise brittana would've ended up married in chapter 4. the relationship also wasn't one sided it just seems that was since you don't see santanas pov (to keep some stuff a mystery) and yes what santana was wrong it's not that easy to just completely change your life around, also when you're with someone you generally want to be with you don't think about anyone else (even though u should pls dont cheat). also it's not as easy for brittany to just change jobs, she has no diploma or experience and it's hard enough as it is. also if u don't like the drama its finished
btw might not be posting for a while or as often bc i finally have a life again