Cohmnoir 24

HP/AH/SL

XXIV

Rias let out a primal scream of rage and atomised a good third of her oak wood desk. Never, before had she wanted to follow the eightfold path as Harry once informed her of. "Neville, could please attend to me."

The Earth aligned Wizard appeared with the subtlety of a police-battering ram as he apparated into and through the Gremory protective wards. "You called, Rias."

Steely green-blue eyes locked with brown "One of my rooks has rendered herself incapacitated for nine months. I want answers and the one who has the answers is nowhere to be found; that has upset Akeno something awful. Hermione, Dean and Seamus are currently piecing Sitri Sona's pawn back together."

Neville sighed "Tell me your suspicions as to why Harry is the one who compromised your Rook?"

Rias cocked her head with a deadpan expression "You think he really needs a reason to troll us? He's got the nickname 'Zelretch' already."

Neville chuckled "That was Serafall's work, not Harry. Now, I truly believe, Harry would never, ever sideline a member of any of Kuoh's Devil Peerage up to nine months. His casual trollish nature and his pranks, every single one of his actions are meticulously planned out. At most he'd sideline a member of a peerage for forty-eight hours; Akeno would vouch for that."

Rias blushed at that "Okay, Harry didn't sideline my Koneko for nine months. What about Genshirou Saji's current condition of being forcefully split apart."

"That wasn't Harry, indirectly. He came to us looking for some enhancement remedies; I took my eyes off him and the next second he's been dismembered."

Rias sighed "Speaking of Harry, where is he? I mean he hardly ever doesn't come when I call him."

Neville sighed "Harry had a thing to do. I have a vague idea what it was but he didn't want to talk about."

"Neville, I've respected Harry's idiosyncratic, trollish and quite frankly absolutely psychotic methods for dealing with people. From cordial politeness to outright offensive running his mouth."

"He had a contract, it ended in the most spectacularly shitty manner. Harry is thrice-bound obligated to see it through. So he's more than likely a quarter of his body-mass in alcohol…I only know this because he's not running Wizarding Game Night. That doesn't concern us, we've got others who can run; but Harry's got a way to make it feel alive."

Rias stilled. Just then the doors were blown open as a mass of limbs in the midst of reconnecting to a body, impaled by a sword slide across the fine oak floor. Neville tracked the body and with utmost ease plucked the spare head that definitely did not belong to this particular body out of the air.

"Busy night, Emiya?"

Emiya let out a choking laugh "Oh fuck you to, Nev. Now pull Ascalon out of me."

"What the fuck did you do?"

"Two funerals and a dragon fight. Preferred the funerals. Death appeared as King Hassan, many FATE jokes were had. I remained until they took their last dying breath and left. There's a decent guy, for a Fallen, that is; who appeared. He was there because they were charged to protect the family, I was there finishing a contract. The knives were present but we were good. Then I got jumped by some evil dragons...five of them. Four minions and their Leader Chrome someone or other. Anyway, beatings and decapitations were handed out and I got my assed thoroughly whipped and then I got stabbed by my own sword."

"You could have and should have called for help."

"Shadow fields don't do mundane cell phone reception Princess. I can hack Underworld, but I can't do that through shadow-field to Underworld to You. I'm good but ain't that got."

"Does someone have performance issues?"

"I've got something called Viagra that solves that issue; Akeno...would beg to differ. Anyway, you seem pissed off, definitely more pissed off than usual. What accusations and allegations have you got for me?"

"My Rook is out of action."

"Dead donkey say what? I didn't kill no rook of yours."

"Who said she's dead. Just out of action. I'm blaming you for it."

"What's…actually wrong with Koneko? Princess, out of your peerage; Koneko is the one that I'm worried about the most."

"Specifically she's out of action for nine months." Harry paled.

"Definitely not me. I know where my libido goes for its moonlit walks and nowhere near Koneko. Akeno definitely and on occasion Leviathan. I swear by all things unholy that's the truth."

Rias glowered at Harry "Then...who."

Harry paused "This is most likely indirectly Mione's fault, for once, it's not me, this time. I'm not a cat guy."

Rias turned purple with rage, Harry checked his appendages were mostly attached "Tootles." Then with a pop, he vanished. "Thankyou Serafall for being a Sitri and me her underlings."

Neville followed suit as Rias let out a scream of fury "Hermione, you done goofed."

(Hermione et al.)

Hermione, turned away as she sneezed violently. Crookshanks looked up from his nap; and if Hermione had been paying attention, fear and genuine terror flickered across the Nekomata's face.

Koneko, the Rook, of House Gremory was adorable. How was he too know that things would spiral. "How can I get Harry thrown under the bus." The ginger nekomata thought, his masters best friend was amazing for attracting everyone's ire.

"Oh Crookshanks, what has Harry done now?" Crookshanks shrugged as much as a cat could.

"Hermione, is the first batch of Polyjuice Potion ready? Because I've got Maou Beelzebub sitting downstairs."

Hermione shuddered slightly as Sona informed her of that. SHe cursed Harry and thanked him for this; he wasn't wrong when the word got out that there were more people of Harry's style of magic around the Underworld. She'd received countless offers from various families and it was thanks to a minor family of Sitri's and Gremory's marrying together that gave her protection.

She didn't know that these particular branches of the families were main family attendees for dinner! It was this unique protection that had caught the eye of Beelzebub Ajuka. Here she was brewing Wizarding Enclave potions for Beelzebub. The green-haired satan had promised her an exclusive contract should she impress him with the most complex potion she knew.

"I've three phials ready. Each one lasts three hours, but I do have several dangerous poisons on the go. My best friend is near-enough a monster; he'd think something was wrong if I didn't have a defence prepared against him."

Sona nodded, as used to the Satans as she was; there was something about Ajuka that unsettled her. It was probably the rumours, how truthful they were she didn't know. What she had heard was Mao Beelzebub had been a contender for the Lucifer position.

"Seamus, Dean...please find Harry and tell him that Sairaorg; Heir of the Bael Family wants to speak to him. Something about filling a few of his debts."

Seamus nodded, the pyromancer had found near enough constant work for the Phenex Family; specifically Ravel. The youngest child of House Phenex had a penchant for pyrotechnics on par with the Irishman. He'd often be found observing the young girl's pyrokinesis training. He was contemplating becoming a Bishop for the girl once she was old enough.

Dean on the other hand, by fluke, worked quite closely with Harry. For the dark-skinned teen was very, very handy with illusionist magic; which had its links to water manipulation. Unfortunately, his trollish tendencies tended to annoy and stress Sona out, meaning Serafall would often make use of him. Dean was currently playing a long-term multi-arc villain on Oppai Dragon and Miracle Levia-tan; the only difference in the latter show he was much more ruthless with his magical abilities.

Serafall had murmured that Dean was marked to be one her bishops.

(Akeno)

Akeno groaned as she shed her clothes; today had been immensely stressful. It didn't help that Harry hadn't been seen and thus her snuggling time had been very much reduced.

However, in her undressed state she was startled by a series of heavy handed raps slash slaps on her front door. Opening the door, her lilac eyes widened to see her beau, half supported by the door with a glass bottle of a bright green liquid.

"Harry!"

"Darling, boy have I had a day to talk to you about."