Practically an Avenger: When you get here, just know that your squeeing over the title and being excited about this universe made us smile in the middle of a pandemic and pandemic-induced depression, so THANK YOU.
Chapter 10: "The Blame Game"
The next morning, Cody woke up early. For just a moment, he couldn't figure out where he was, and he couldn't help but panic, wondering if he was supposed to be doing something or if this was a test — before he recognized some of his puzzles hanging in the room and remembered where he was.
He closed his eyes and let out a long breath. Now that he wasn't riding the high of adrenaline and exhaustion from the initial rescue, reality was going to take a lot of getting used to.
He would usually wake up about this time and have some breakfast and tea, so that's where he went, heading down to the kitchen quietly. He didn't want to wake anyone else up.
Logan and K were the only ones awake and already in the kitchen — and coffee was brewed. The two of them were chatting and flirting between themselves when Cody came in, and K gave him a little smile. "Morning, sunshine."
Cody nodded her way as he went to the fridge. "Good morning," he said. He pulled out the butter and raspberry jam as he said it.
"How about I make you a little breakfast?" K offered. "We were just talking about omelettes."
Cody paused and then nodded. "Alright," he said.
"What would you like in it?" K asked.
"I'll eat whatever you make," he said. "I can make the tea too."
"I'm sure, but … why don't you at least pick your veggies," K said.
"What do you want? I'll get it for you."
K smirked at him and shook her head. She didn't think he realized that even small decisions were hard for him, to the point of defaulting to what he was told. For something as simple as breakfast, she was willing to push harder, to try to get him thinking on his own again. "I've got mine figured out already. And Logan's. I'm asking what you want." She gestured to the fridge. "Your call. We have ham and sausage too."
He frowned her way before he nodded and went to the fridge. "Alright."
K and Logan shared a little smile, and the two of them simply got to work as if this was all perfectly normal. When Cody had grabbed a few things from the fridge, he set them down beside K before he went back to put some water on and leaned back against the counter as he waited. The two ferals were working up their breakfasts between them, but it was Logan that broke the ice. "So how are you handling this? Everyone smothering you right?"
Cody smirked lightly. "Yeah, Chloe and Charlie and Mom are just… yeah." He let out a breath. "There are a lot of changes to get used to."
"Let 'em know if it's too much," Logan said.
"It's not like I can tell Chloe to stop being taller. Or Dad to stop…" He trailed off and shook his head as he instead went to get a tea bag.
"Yeah, I've been trying to get your Dad to stop that for a long time," Logan said dryly.
"I meant the ...the chair," Cody said quietly. "He … how long has that…?"
Logan and K shared a look and K let out a breath. "Well. It's been a while now."
"What happened?" Cody asked as he took his tea with him to sit down.
K met his gaze and couldn't find a way to really sugarcoat it. "He lost his son." Still, she did her best to put it in more context. "It wasn't just that. There were already big losses — he was pretty sure Logan and I were on our way out. James too. And then …"
Cody frowned at that and sat down a little more heavily than he'd intended. "Oh."
"He had another heart attack," Logan clarified. "And while they were in there working on that, he had a little stroke. But that wasn't your fault."
"Oh," Cody said again, nodding quietly to himself.
"You've missed a lot," K said. "But … we'll tell you anything you want to know. No secrets."
"Thanks," Cody said quietly, staring down at the liquid in his cup and falling silent after that.
It wasn't too long before K handed him his omelette and tried to pull him out of the guilt she could already see building around him. "It would have been worse if we hadn't had the right people around. Or if James had managed to die, too."
"Yeah, it could have been worse," Cody said without really looking up.
"Your dad can get around alright without the chair," Logan said. "Just not all the time."
"That's good," Cody said.
"He especially gets around better when he's using Logan for a crutch," K added.
"I'm glad he has you guys," he said, still not looking up and taking his cup in a tighter grip with every half-whispered word to the ferals.
"I'm glad he's got you," Logan said without missing a beat.
Cody was quiet for a long time before he glanced up at Logan. "Am I going to give him another one?" he asked in a whisper.
"How? By being here? I'm pretty sure no one strokes out over bein' happy." He paused and then turned to K. "But if that's a thing, I wanna sign up for it."
"You'd be dead a hundred times over," K replied in a low tone with a sly smile that had Logan smirking.
"I ... it was a big surprise," Cody said, "me coming back. And… and I'm not…"
"Your dad couldn't be happier," Logan said. "Doesn't matter what's changed. You're here."
Cody nodded and dropped his gaze again.
"You're not the only one that got screwed up from that whole mess," Logan added. "And yes, I'm counting it as part of the Apocalypse thing."
But I'm the only one who agreed to it, Cody projected his way.
Not entirely, Logan countered, slipping seamlessly into a telepathic conversation when he and K knew that was what Cody was comfortable with if he felt he needed to express how he actually felt. James said he didn't fight Apocalypse either.
Sinister asked me, and I said 'yes'.
What were your other options? Pain? More suffering? Extra showings of the crap he pulled? I know his tricks. And when I met him the first time, I was a helluva lot more naive than you were.
Cody looked down at his plate. Dad told him no. I didn't stop him.
He wanted me to join him, Logan projected. After the girl I'd fallen for died. And I nearly went with him. You didn't do anything any normal person wouldn't have.
"I rolled over for her," Cody bit out at last, glaring up at Logan. "And I should have been here instead. With my dad."
"You thought he was already dead, didn't you?" Logan asked. "Who else did you think was gone?"
Cody frowned at that. She said Rachel killed everyone, he said. And… James killed the ones hidden away.
The only one Rachel nearly killed was James. And he nearly did himself in after the fact.
Cody's head came up fast at that, and he looked openly upset. I saw it. Sinister showed me what happened, and I know it wasn't real. Nate ...
James told me what Nate did. And he told me you know everything that Rachel did. I owe Nate a swift kick for that little trick, too. I'm glad you got to see the truth, Cody, and I'm glad you're here, but I swear to God if you start actin' like Nate, I'm gonna slap you. Logan shook his head. The important thing is that both you and James are here. And you're tryin' to get back to yourselves. We're all here for you. You know that, right?
Cody stared at Logan for a long moment before he simply stood up from his seat. "Yes. I know. Thank you, K," he said softly. "For the breakfast."
"Any time," K said softly. "And we're here if you have more questions. Even if you need to keep it all psychic."
Cody nodded lightly before he took his dishes to the sink and then simply slipped out of the room, though he didn't quite make it back up the stairs before Rachel caught up to him.
K or Logan sent you, right? he said without turning her way.
Neither. You were projecting. But I wish they would wait before telling people everything, Rachel replied.
I asked them, Cody said. And it wasn't anything that I wasn't told already. Not really.
Rachel let out a sigh. Yes. but there's answering questions tactfully and just … spilling.
Cody shrugged lightly. It's fine. I asked them a question, and I needed to know the answer. Now I do.
"I still feel like there is an easier to process middle ground," Rachel said. "Those two can be as subtle as a sledgehammer."
And Nate's a delicate southern breeze? Cody let out a breath. "What do you want, Rachel?"
"I want to make sure you're alright. And seeing as I know you're not … Hi, little brother."
"Hi," he said.
"What can I clarify for you?" Rachel asked. Or do I need to just skim your memories and thoughts to see for myself?
No offense, Rachel, but I don't really want anyone in my head right now.
Then you should probably just tell me what it is that's bothering you.
Cody shook his head at that. Rachel, I let Sinister run my life. For a long time. I let Dad think I was dead.
And as soon as you knew that he'd lied to you, then what happened?
Then K and the others rescued me.
So … Elin is a liar then? She told me that you fought back and got yourself restrained for your troubles.
Not really effective. I've spent the past year honing my powers, and I failed utterly.
But you tried to stand up for your brother and sister-in-law, right? Because to hear Elin tell her side of it — it's her fault that we thought you were dead.
Cody frowned at that. "She has it wrong," he said. "Sinister waited until the right moment."
"She and Chance found the body," Rachel said. "She is convinced that she should have realized … the scent issue is driving her nuts."
Cody frowned at that. "I don't know how to argue that," he said. "But I know Sinister wouldn't have left even that to chance."
"No one knows how to argue that. But she won't hear any argument anyhow," Rachel told him.
"It was my fault, not hers," Cody said.
"Pretty sure she'd fight you on it," Rachel said.
"I had opportunities to leave. I wasn't restrained all the time, you know," Cody said quietly.
"I know how Sinister handled Dad," she said. "And you were most definitely captive."
"Dad always got out, though," Cody said.
"And Sinister wouldn't have augmented you at all if he wasn't convinced that you weren't going to fight him." She gestured at him as a whole. "He took away your free will. Don't try to take responsibility when you were unable to make a choice."
"Rachel…" He shook his head and didn't mean to project the rest of it, but she heard it all the same, I screwed up Dad.
No, you didn't. Dad screwed up Dad. Decades of stressing himself out beyond the realm of normal human tolerances as a baseline screwed up Dad. If it wasn't you, then it would have been James. Or Logan or the next big thing. It was going to happen anyhow.
Cody shook his head. I should have come back.
Do you need to talk to the harbinger? Or Nate? Because I can get them.
I know what happened, Rachel.
Then you should be able to see how much it will tear him up if you keep beating yourself up over this.
"It's my. Fault," Cody said, his tone almost sharp as he spun toward her.
"No. It's Sinister's fault. I know you were tight with James, but stop. Sounding. Like a Howlett."
"Even the Howletts know not to let Sinister run them over!" Cody shot back, letting his voice rise as he gestured toward the kitchen.
"And you're focusing on the wrong thing," Rachel said.
"Every single day I wasn't fighting him, I should have been," Cody said. "Dad did. Logan did. Even Charlie did. You know that."
"And every one of them — except Charlie — has had this same kind of guilt over some decision or another. You want to blame yourself and hold onto it that hard — fine. But you need to work toward moving past it and fixing whatever you can." She shook her head hard. "I'm getting tired of having this same argument over. And over."
Cody blinked at her for a moment and seemed to very quickly deflate. He'd been caught up in his emotions, but now, he was practically screaming projecting that he hadn't meant to raise his voice and that he wasn't allowed to have outbursts like that. "I'm sorry. I wasn't — I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make things hard for — I'm sorry."
She let out a frustrated sort of noise and reached over to hit him in the shoulder. "Stop that."
He took a step back. "I—"
Rachel stuck a finger in Cody's face. "You're not responsible for everything. You were sixteen years old, and you were being manipulated by a man that has been doing this for well over a century. You. Were not. In. Control. And if I hear one more word about how screwed up you are, I'm gonna slap you. Go talk to Charlie and let her tell you about your song. She was elated to hear it again. So just … stop trying to feel guilty for living. Especially when we're all celebrating that you're with us again! Not one person here is mad at you. Not a one."
Cody looked wide-eyed as he watched Rachel before he simply nodded. "I just… it's a lot," he said quietly. "I'm sorry."
"We're all just glad you're alive," Rachel told him before she took a few steps forward and then decided to give him a hug — like it or not.
Which seemed to be exactly what Cody needed after an argument like that as he melted into the hug, still shaken up over thinking his anger had gotten him in trouble and relieved to have someone around to hold onto.
With most of the mansion tied up dealing with Cody's reintroduction to the house, James took the opportunity to get out for a few hours. He'd been half ignoring Alyssa's texts … letting them sit there for long stretches of time before he answered them after he'd hit the wall with Nate. Everyone was pitching in to help Cody, but even after the explanation with Nate, when James had tried to take his turn, Cody had still been a bit gunshy — though he was trying hard to hide it.
All in all, James was pretty sure that his presence wasn't really adding much in a helpful way, and he knew it was dragging him down. So instead of toughing it out or letting himself slide further into his depression and self-guessing, he reached out to Alyssa — and was sure to bring her flowers before he took her out for sushi, as was almost their usual thing to do at this point.
It was a nice break from the mansion, if he was being honest. After spending so much time with Stark and Richards and Banner … he just wasn't used to the 24/7 hustle and bustle of everyone's families. His family tried to keep it low-key even if trouble found them, but it felt like the Summerses exuded stress, and the truth was, he wasn't prepared to process it just then without blaming himself for some large measure of it. And it had taken him this long to really acknowledge it and decide on a plan of action to deal with it.
It wasn't that he didn't like being at the mansion — home. Or that he wanted out, necessarily. It was simply overwhelming to someone who had spent so much time for so long alone. And when that realization hit him on the way to get Alyssa, he realized he needed to make sure Cody had a way to take a break too. Well-intentioned as they were, the Summers clan could be overwhelming when they were showing their relief by dogpiling on you.
But … Alyssa was in high spirits when she saw him, grinning, bubbly, and a little ray of sunshine that was desperately needed when he'd been so low. She'd gushed about the flowers and planted a kiss 'hello' that had him smiling against her mouth before it had ended, and after they'd headed out, she'd shifted to telling him about the summer classes she was taking. Nothing too difficult, but she was making an effort at tearing through core classes in the shortened semester.
"I guess I'm just irritated," Alyssa said finally. "My sister told me that her English 101 was all response essays, but the syllabus …" She let out an irritated sound and shook her head. "It's all … sexist, stupid … trash!"
James smiled her way and watched her as she rested her chin on her palm and worked at picking up part of her rainbow roll. "Every teacher has their own way to do it," James told her, happy to have a more age-appropriate problem to handle. "Nothing you can do about it — just work through it. At least it's a short session."
"I really don't like the books we've been assigned," Alyssa said. "My professor is obsessed with stories that just … they make me uncomfortable."
"What's on your book list?" James had to ask, and wasn't surprised at all when Alyssa pulled it up on her phone and pushed it toward him. He took a moment to read through them and frowned at the list when he saw the directions this professor had chosen to take. He himself hadn't read most of those on the list because of their content. "Well, there's your trouble." It was clear that the professor was transfixed on a few themes that made James want to bite back a growl. Almost half of the grade was dedicated to Nobokov's Lolita … but that wasn't the only questionable choice. He frowned at several that romanticized slavery and couldn't help but look entirely irritated when Memoirs of a Geisha was framed to be 'empowering'.
He looked up at her, still frowning slightly. "Has anyone said anything to the dean about this moron?"
She shook her head lightly. "I doubt it," Alyssa said, and James let out the slightest of growls that really only got Alyssa to smile at him. "It's sweet that it bothers you that much."
"The guy's a weirdo and a pervert," James said, though for the moment, he turned his attention to his dinner. "You should get into a different class that's not being run by a top notch slimeball."
She smiled wider and reached across the table to offer him her hand. "I don't know that I'd be able to catch up. I'm already a few weeks in, and the drop date is this week."
"I'll help you," James said as he took her hand. "You can do it; it's just writing, and you are a journalist."
"And if I do that, my webcast will fall apart until I get through the class," she said, then shook her head. "It'll be fine."
James gave her hand a little squeeze. "What about if I help with that too?"
"What have you got in mind?" she asked, frowning his way.
James shrugged. "I dunno. I'm sure we can figure something out."
She bit her bottom lip and thought it over. "Okay … but … what about my idea of a live webcast …"
James stopped and looked up at her for a moment. "You want me to help you with a live broadcast?"
"Only if my views slip very badly. And you want to," she said. "I'm actually looking forward more to you helping with my reports."
"Study date," James said, nodding slowly.
"That's the idea."
He met her gaze and gave her a crooked smile. "You want to pass this class, right?" She burst out laughing at that and scooted over to his side of the table to steal a kiss and snuggle up to him.
"You know … eventually. I could always just finish this class with the creepy teacher and you can help me anyhow." She gave him a little squeeze — but for an instant, his muscles tightened up, and he cringed slightly away. "What happened?" She shifted the way she was sitting and simply rested her hand on his side, trying to see where it was bothering him without outright lifting his shirt.
"Nothing to see," he promised as he put his arm around her and pulled her in for a hug that he didn't flinch from. "I'm all healed, I promise. It was just a fluke… phantom thing."
She frowned at that. "Phantom … like phantom pain?" Her eyes widened when he nodded his head.
"I got a little banged up the other day helping Elin and Chance- " He stopped and took a cleansing breath. "You know what? Just … chalk it up to a mission that was hairy."
"But it went okay?"
"Went great. Good guys won. Soundly." He was nodding along with his answer. "Not even big enough to really get into."
Alyssa let out a breath at that. "Good." She reached over and picked up a piece of hamachi and turned to feed it to him. "You're sure you're healed?"
James nodded at that. "I was healed before we landed," he explained. "Whole thing only took a few hours."
"Then what gives?"
He finished the yellowtail that she'd given him, then took a moment to explain why sometimes — but not always — he'd have some pain to deal with well after the mission and the healing was over. "It's just … part of my mutation." he leaned over to give her a kiss. "It's fine. Always been like that when it's bad. It would have been a lot worse if it had been someone else taking the hit. Don't worry about it."
The rest of their dinner was quiet, and instead of a movie, Alyssa had an idea of her own. "So. I brought a blanket," she said with a little smile. "There's a meteor shower going on — or at least, that's what they say pretty much everywhere online. Wanna do a little stargazing?"
James smirked a little wider at that. "I think I have a good spot — unless you have an idea on a location." But when she shook her head, it was plain that she was hoping he'd know about a private spot that could reasonably use stargazing as an excuse.
Leslie Ann had been a little nervous about going to see Jana, simply because Rachel had let her know that Jana was still struggling with … everything. Rachel and Hank both had been working with her to get her used to the basics of existing, but now, they were trying to get her to remember how to be Jana.
Which meant that they were trying to pull in parts of her old life. And since Leslie Ann had been her best friend, she was one of the top choices.
So, Leslie Ann poked her head in to find that Remy and Rachel were still with Jana - they really had their work cut out for them and hadn't left her alone. "Hey," she said with a small smile, waving at her friend as she came in and shut the door behind her. It was a relief to see her without the red glow to her eyes or the diamond on her forehead, though she still looked pale and a little drawn. Still, it was easier to see her as Jana and not Sinister — and that was a crucial distinction when Leslie Ann knew she wasn't fully recovered from all she'd been through with Apocalypse. She didn't need to drag that into Jana's recovery.
Jana picked up her head and then nodded. Hey.
Leslie Ann raised her eyebrows Rachel's way for a moment, and Rachel simply let out a sigh. Projecting is easier than talking right now. Just run with it.
Leslie Ann nodded as she sat down across from Jana. She'd been thinking for a long time about what she'd say, and she'd settled on reassuring her that none of it was her fault — since it had taken her a long time to get that through her head with Apocalypse. But that went out the window when she saw how withdrawn Jana looked.
And in an instant, she simply rushed over and threw her arms around her friend, pulling her into a tight hug. "I missed you," she said.
Jana looked totally caught off-guard by the hug, but Leslie Ann didn't really give her a choice in the matter and didn't let up until Jana returned it lightly. Hello, Leslie Ann.
Leslie Ann finally let go of Jana for a moment before she let out all her breath. "Nobody blames you," she said quickly. "It's not your fault."
So I've been told, Jana said, shifting slightly to sit a bit apart from Leslie Ann, still looking at her funny like she couldn't believe she'd just gotten the stuffing hugged out of her.
"Well, it wasn't," Leslie Ann insisted. She made herself comfortable sitting by Jana as she pulled out her phone. "If I'd known I was going to get my best friend back, I would have put off the wedding just a few more months," she said.
The what?
Leslie Ann grinned Jana's way. "Yes, see, this is what happens when you're tucked away in this little room," she said. "You miss important things like the fact that I've got a cute boy in my life. His name's David. He's a genius."
Jana stared at Leslie Ann for a long moment, obviously unsure of how to proceed with her. I — he didn't know that, she said. So, when did it happen?
"After Apocalypse," Leslie Ann said. "I needed someone to help me recover, and David needed someone to listen to him bounce ideas off of thin air."
"David … who?"
Leslie Ann beamed at her friend, glad that her strategy of simply throwing new information at Jana until she was too shocked not to respond aloud had worked. "Oh, you know, the tech genius in Chicago — the one who was running that fansite?" She grinned. "He's still running it, by the way. It's his baby."
Jana's smile flickered for a moment. "You're … you're kidding, right?"
"Would I come in here and see my best friend for the first time in, like, a decade and lie to her? Come on, Jana," Leslie Ann couldn't help but tease. "After Apocalypse, he had, like, a whole subforum dedicated to all of the Horsemen and the good that we'd done to show that we weren't ourselves — and it's still there. People still contribute stories."
Jana stared at Leslie Ann and then slowly shook her head. "Sounds right."
"He's really sweet. I'll have to tell you the proposal story," Leslie Ann said, leaning further back and making herself comfortable — so engrossed in her storytelling that she completely missed the looks passing between Remy and Rachel, who were both clearly pleased by how well this was going.
Leslie Ann dove into the whole story of how she and David got together, starting from the Asgardian flower and running with it from there. She didn't even notice how late it was until her voice started to get tired out from all the talking, and by that time, Jana had relaxed substantially and was even smiling through the stories on occasion.
"Okay, well, I'm going to have to come back tomorrow," Leslie Ann decided. "Because I still haven't even told you about, like, half of what's been going on while you've been gone. The Avengers, the X-Men, my sister having kids… You are so behind."
"Clearly," Jana said, shaking her head at Leslie Ann a bit.
"I'll bring snacks next time," Leslie Ann promised as she got to her feet. She almost suggested that they could watch some basketball, but considering the fact that Jana had been seriously dating Brandon before all of this happened ... and Brandon was now a pro player and married to someone else… Leslie Ann wasn't so sure that was a good idea.
Thanks for coming, Leslie Ann, Rachel projected to her as she headed for the door.
Hey, I've been through it. Not this bad, but I've been through it. You have me for whatever she needs, Leslie Ann promised with a smile before she headed off to go find David.
"So much like Gerry now," Rachel said, shaking her head. "How did that little bit of sunshine rub off?"
"He marry into the family," Remy said in a matter-of-fact tone. "And then the sunshine got all over de place."
"It doesn't work like that, and you know it," Rachel said in a flat voice.
"Non?" Remy said with a little smirk her way. "Mebbe you jus' don' see it."
"If that was the case, Dad would be pulling practical jokes."
"Hey, ain't nobody got powers enough to pull of dat much of a miracle," Remy said.
"Go talk to your daughter," Rachel said, shaking her head.
"Yes ma'am, lil' fearless," Remy said with an easy smile as he passed her.