A/N: So this is the final part of this fic! i thankyou all for following me through this! one of my shorter ones but i am not ruling out continuing this in the future! Uni is a lot more full on than i expected second time round and now with a job i can only keep up with one fic so i hope that is okay! Do keep an eye out as you may see a sequel to this in the future.

T/W Please enjoy this part, i'm sure you will but there may be a trigger warning for some people as it discusses mental health, flashbacks and depression.

Thankyou all again and please do review xxx

Chapter 18

A few weeks or so had passed, Christmas had been and gone, Eddie had been round to Rachel's at the weekends for ben but did not stay overnight and Rachel busied herself doing her work in the kitchen leaving him with ben. Rachel tried to make Christmas as special as she could for ben it just wasn't the same. Rachel, Eddie and Ben had gotten into a routine and Rachel was using Eddie as a glorified babysitter, just talking with him as a friend and nothing else. They had not shared a kiss now in well over two months.

Rachel woke the first day of the new term. It felt like any normal day to her, she did the usual routine and got herself ready and went downstairs to make hers and bens packed lunches for the day. As normal she found herself walking into the office at precisely 7:55am.

Sitting down at the desk she breathed a sigh of relief knowing she felt safe in this anti chamber. Although Rachel never showed it, deep down she was missing the baby, that was hers and it had gone. She'd frequently spend many nights crying over the loss, she knew it was just a group of cells but it was her baby, it was her group of cells.

It wasn't a lie when Rachel had told Eddie she was out to do the shopping on a Saturday afternoon, but she was also seeing a psychiatrist. With everything that had happened and the memories of the fire making a reappearance, Rachel knew she wasn't in the right mind and signed up straight away not wanting to lose track of her mental health.

To say Rachel was struggling was an understatement. Would she let it show, of course she wouldn't. The pushing away of Eddie was her barrier, it was her way of saying I'm in this alone and I have to deal with this.

Rachels thoughts were broken with the sound of Eddie walking in.

"Morning" Rachel smiled weakly.

"How long you gonna keep this up?"

Rachel sighed, not even a good morning. She decided the best reaction would be to ignore him continue with her work and let him carry on.

"I barely see you Rachel, when I'm at school you go your best way to avoid me, when I'm over with ben you go out, what's going on?"

Of course Rachel heard what he had said and decided to continue to ignore him, whatever Rachel was going through she wasn't up for sharing.

"Rachel?" Eddie shouted a little louder.

Rachel sighed "just get off my case" she shouted back as she walked out the office knowing the one place where he couldn't follow her…the ladies.

She was thankful that it was empty. when she walked in, she went into a cubicle closing and locking the door. She put the lid down on the toilet, sat down and sighed looking down at her fingers.

As the thoughts started brewing again she closed her eyes just wishing whatever the situation this was would be over. It wasn't long until a familiar voice shouted her name.

"Rachel you in here?" Kim asked

Rachel sighed out loud making it obvious she didn't want to be disturbed. She stood up and opened the door.

"You alright?" Kim asked

Rachel nodded and stood by the sinks leaning against them.

"You know you can talk to me, I'm always here"

"I know" she sighed.

"Come on, tell me, Eddies said a lot of stuff"

"I bet he has" Rachel sighed she looked down averting her gaze from Kim "I'm seeing a psychiatrist"

"Why? When?"

Rachel sighed "Saturday afternoons, whilst Eddie is with ben. I've been having a lot of thoughts…dark thoughts, ive been really emotional and just everything is coming back to haunt me and I'm just not in my right mind at all" Rachel admitted.

"Rach why didn't you say" Kim said getting close to her and rubbing her shoulder "its way too much for you to handle on your own"

Rachel just shrugged "postpartum depression apparently…stupid name even though ive not had a baby"

"Rach you've been through an emotional trauma, of course its going to affect you, I'm angry you didn't phone me" Kim admitted.

"I know I know I'm sorry" Rachel sighed "I keep pushing Eddie away and I don't know what to do"

"You need to be truthful"

"All that man wants is to get in my knickers"

"And I'm pretty sure you want to get in his pants too" Kim stated.

Rachel chuckled lightly remembering back to when they were last together and then frowned. "I'm scared" she admitted

"Of what?" Kim asked.

Rachel sighed "of sex" she admitted finally looking at Kim.

"And that's normal, the last time you slept with someone you got pregnant"

"Don't remind me" she sighed closing her eyes "what if it happens again and I go through it all again"

"Just take precautions" Kim said matter of factly. "I'm hearing a lot of what ifs…just do it, jump him, sleep with him, you know it will make you and him feel better"

"I can't" Rachel said shaking her head.

"You can rach, you can do this" Kim said rubbing her arm.

It was later on that day where Rachel found herself on her own in the office overthinking once more. The words that Kim said to her this morning were whirling around in her head. It was just after lunch and after checking her emails once more, she was finally up to date. Taking a large intake of breath and releasing a sigh, Rachel realised what Kim said was right. She stood up, straightened herself out and walked out her office walking towards Eddie's classroom.

As she approached she stopped for a moment making sure she looked presentable and then knocked on his door, noticing he was marking books during his free period. Eddie looked up, sighed deeply to himself and nodded to Rachel to tell her to come in.

"Rachel" he said unimpressed she was disturbing his marking time.

"Eddie, can we talk?" Rachel stumbled on her words as she closed the door behind her.

"I don't think there is much left to say do you?" Eddie said stubbornly

Rachel sighed out loud and made her way to the school desk opposite Eddie and sat on the table. "I think we have a lot to talk about" she said as Eddie was about to interrupt her "no don't let me speak" Rachel said and she sighed once more "firstly I'm sorry, I'm sorry I pushed you away, I'm sorry I neglected you when you've been over at mine with ben" Rachel took a long pause. "Eddie I love you" she swallowed admitting defeat and finally looking up at him.

Eddie looked up at Rachel putting his pen down and moving to the other side of his desk to face her. He couldn't believe he finally heard her say it. "Say it again" he asked making sure he wasn't going deaf in his old age.

"I love you" Rachel said.

Eddie smiled and walked towards her placing two hands on her waist. "That's what I thought you said"

"I'm sorry I've been so reluctant ive got a lot going on"

"Talk to me rach" he said calmly, not moving from his position.

"On a Saturday afternoon ive been seeing a psychiatrist as well as shopping"

Eddie stepped back not knowing how to react "why?" He simply asked.

"I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, I lost a baby and then everything came flooding back with the fire, I'm still not there and I get these thoughts" Rachel said looking down as she was interrupted by Eddie lifting her chin.

"Then we fight this together" Eddie admitted "your not on your own"

It was at that point Rachel stood up and just melted into his arms, Eddie wrapping his arms around her tightly holding her head against his chest and his head on top of hers. Rachel let out a little sob as the tears streamed down her face.

"Shhh" Eddie said as he rubbed her back "we have this, I promise, your not fighting on your own"

Rachel let go and stepped back taking a tissue out of her pocket and wiping her eyes "need to redo my make up" she chuckled.

Eddie smiled "no you don't your gorgeous without it"

Rachel smiled blushing. "Eddie…" she started and took his hand "I'm scared of us"

"Why?" Eddie asked squeezing the hand they held.

"What if the same thing happens again, I'm scared to be with you, that's why ive pushed you away"

"Oh rach" he said squeezing her hand "we can take precautions its not a problem, we move at your pace"

Rachel nodded and looked up at him. The gaze caught one and other and slowly Rachel and Eddie moved together and their lips connected for the first time in months. The passion was obviously something they were both missing as they shared the passionate kiss. Eddie pushed Rachel back towards the school desk and Rachel sat down as they broke off out of breath.

Rachel looked up at Eddie and bit her lip. Eddie signalled his maths cupboard at the back of the room. Rachel looked round and then back at Eddie taking a deep breath she nodded.

"Gently please" she whispered.

Eddie nodded and took her hand as they walked to the back of the classroom grinning like teenagers. Eddie closed the door pushing Rachel up against it and kissing her.

"You sure you want to do this now" Eddie asked and looked up at her as he broke the kiss off.

Rachel nodded "yes, I think it will do us both good"

Eddie smiled and went in for the kiss again his hands now tracing her upper body as he removed her jacket discarding it quickly and going for the blouse she was wearing. Rachel broke off once more.

"Can we just get on with it before my mind has a mental breakdown" Rachel asked looking at him.

Eddie nodded as he stepped back removing his clothes, Rachel doing the same.

"God I've missed you" Eddie said looking at her two minutes later.

Rachel blushed "I know I'm not completely undressed but is this okay" she said indicating her bra still on.

"Of course" Eddie smiled "you have nothing to be ashamed of though"

Rachel smiled and walked the two steps towards him kissing him and pulling him down to the floor as events began to unfold.

After they were done they lay together out of breath. Rachel looked at Eddie and Eddie looked at Rachel both of them smiled.

"I love you Rachel" Eddie said through his breaths

"I love you too Eddie" Rachel smiled and kissed him passionately once more.

The End

Please Review! and thankyou all for reading this fic xxx