The CW: were going to redeem Damon for the Delena fans, oh wait never mind we want him to be a bad boy and never get called out for his actions and grow from them.

Y'all can tell how much that bothered me when watching season 7 and 8. They did so good with him in season 6, and they threw it all away. I won't do that, he's gonna change but still be snarky.

5

Memories of Grief

"I would say, kill me but I think there's someone that would take that offer up," Clara muttered as Bonnie tied bows into her hair.

"Hey, you decided to stay on the team just for tonight," Bonnie pointed out as she finished tying the bow.

"What was I thinking?" Clara sarcastically asked.

Bonnie smacked her shoulder and Clara raised her brows up and down as a response. She placed her hands on the sketchbook that sat in her lap, something that Bonnie wanted to look at, and turned her gaze towards the other cheerleaders. It had been a few days since the awkward dinner with the Salvatore brothers and her dreams had gotten even more vivid. She fixed her black tights under her red skirt and fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Relax, you make it work," Bonnie said.

"I'm not an enthusiastic fan of revealing clothes," Clara quietly admitted as a girl walked past them.

"The other Clara lived for these uniforms," Bonnie informed her, "she even pushed them further."

"Good thing I'm not really her," Clara said, and Bonnie watched as her expression changed to something worried, "but at the same time, I might be her."

"What, like a reborn soul?" Bonnie guessed.

"Close, but more like a bunch of bullshit with angels and demons that I somehow got caught in the middle of," Clara answered with a scoff, "I've remembered pieces of the reason why I'm here; it's not painting a pretty picture."

"If you know more, let me know," Bonnie said, and she nodded her agreement.

She was handed the sketchbook and she looked at the first few pages. Faces and strange imagery stared back at her. Small notes next to certain pictures let her know what they were. Woman in white, Kappa, Ookami, Ghost, Vampire, Angel, Nephilim, and Demon. She looked up at her friend and noted the far away expression on her face. The one with the demon wasn't really a face, but a close up of eyes. Whited out, blacked out, and some where the iris was brightly coloured, and the pupil was a strange shape. Those brought chills down her spine, what worried her more was the fact that she had notes on how to kill them. Clara wasn't fully human, they had confirmed that but she didn't know what she was. They knew that she knew how to kill things of a supernatural origin.

"Let's kick some ass," Bonnie said with a grin as she closed the sketchbook and handed it back to Clara.

It went into her bag and she followed the other girl out of the locker room. She breathed in deep and tried to calm her nerves. She couldn't believe she was nervous to be on the cheerleader squad of all things. She pushed her fringe out of her face as she stepped into the cool air. It was late summer, almost fall and the night was nice.

They did a few cheers to rile the crowd up and dispersed after a while. Bonnie lost sight of Clara as the teen searched for her brother. She had a bad feeling that something was going to happen. She didn't mess with the bows in her hair, it took Bonnie too long to put them in with her unruly hair which was a new development. Other Clara could wear her hair any way and it would do what she wanted. It was annoying, but she could live with it.

"Jeremy," She grumbled as she quickly moved through the growing crowd.

It was all teenage boys, and they were surrounding Tyler as he wailed on her brother. She was oddly fond of the kid, and she wasn't about to stand back and allow him to get his face bloodied. She pushed some people out of her way and grabbed onto Tyler's shoulder and threw him away from Jeremy. That caused some of the teens around her to back up in fear as her brother scrambled to his feet. She gave him a look over her shoulder and he looked down in shame.

"Next time you put a hand on my brother, you won't be getting up," She warned Tyler as he looked at her with a frown, "I will not hold back. Capiche?"

"Freak," Tyler muttered and Clara held Jeremy back.

"Don't, the douche isn't worth it," She hissed at him, "we're going home, now."

She dragged him behind her away from the crowd and she felt her nerves settle. She sent him a look and he finally fell in step. He was trembling from exertion and adrenaline, and just a hint of fear. He didn't know what his sister was going to do, but he'd rather be found by Clara than Elena.

"Hey, how the hell did you learn that?" Jeremy asked.

"Adrenaline," Clara excused, "it's one hell of a superpower."

"That was Superman level of strength," Jeremy pointed out, "Tyler's bigger and heavier than you, and you tossed him like he was nothing."

"He was going to cause heavy damage to your face," She said with a scoff, "was I supposed to let you be bloodied?"

"Are you going to teach me that?" He asked.

"Promise me this shit with Tyler is over," She said as she finally came down from her sudden use of strength, her arms were burning.

"I…I can't do that," He said and he made a frustrated face, "He just uses her like she's a toy."

"Is this about Vicki Donovan?" She asked, "What do you like about her Jeremy?"

"She's nice to me and she cares," He answered, "She's pretty and she's got a good sense of humour."

"Jeremy," She said and he looked at her before nodding, "just…don't let it consume you like this. If she can't see what a great guy you are, then fuck her."

"Y'know what," He started before looking down at his feet, "you're cooler than before. What happened?"

"You want the truth?" She asked and he slowly nodded.

"I woke up from a nightmare one night, and I saw you and Elena dead," She answered and he reeled back at the genuine truth in her voice, "you can believe it or not, but that's what happened. I don't want that to happen to you."

She was laying down pieces of truth while lying at the same time. It was a delicate situation and she needed to handle it carefully. She didn't know why she was here or in a body that felt right but wrong at the same time. She wasn't about to be sent to a psych ward because she had a complete change in personality or lost her memories, so she wisely kept that information to herself. Jeremy was quiet for a few seconds and she watched as the emotions played on his face.

"Damn," Jeremy breathed out, "of all the things to change over."

"Is it that bad of a change?" She couldn't help but be curious.

"Like I said, not really," He couldn't help but say, he winced slightly, "you weren't a good person before this, you were like the worst. Caroline could barely stand you and Bonnie hated you."

"What about you baby bro?" She asked.

"We had our moments of friendliness but it never lasted, you didn't even cry when mom and dad died," He informed her and she was quite happy with the information he gave her.

"Hey, why don't you head home and ice your face," She suggested and he scoffed, "I need to change and explain this to Bonnie, I'll order a pizza too."

"Bribing me with food?" He asked as a smile slipped onto his face.

"Possibly, is it working?" She asked.

"A little bit," He said, "fine, I'll head home. Don't be too long."

"I won't," She confirmed.

He waved over his shoulder and she waved back before slowly heading back to the game. Her head was starting to pound and she brought a hand up to her forehead and tried to alleviate the pressure. She knew what that meant, a memory was resurfacing. She didn't need that to happen, not when there was so many people around.

"Woah, you look like hell," A familiar voice said.

"Way to make a girl feel good about herself, prick," She grumbled and a light chuckle was her answer, "what are you doing here, Damon?"

"I'm hiding from Caroline," He answered, "or is that not the answer you're looking for."

"It works," She muttered as the pounding got worse, "did you need something from me?"

"No, just saw someone who knows how to converse," He quipped.

"My lack of social graces are duly noted," She dryly commented, "yours are way worse, if we want to start a bitching fest."

"I get the feeling you don't like me," He commented.

"If you apologized and stopped using Caroline, might be a little more friendly to you," She informed him, "as chatty as she is, she doesn't deserve the way you're treating her."

"Are you offering?" He asked.

"Fuck no, I'm not interested Salvatore," She hissed and he held up his hands in defense.

"Are you sure?" He asked as he stepped closer to her and she felt her body tense in anticipation of a fight, "I can see that you want me."

"Excuse you?" She questioned as her nose crinkled as her anger won out her anticipation.

"You find yourself drawn to me," He commented as he leaned it and he watched as her face grew blank but her eyes were filled with rage, "I bet you've even dreamed about me. Now, you want to kiss me."

He was trying to compel her. He was decently surprised by her sudden left hook that dislodged his nose. He quickly popped it back into place and watched as she glared up at him in the coldest fury he had ever seen. She may look like her sister, but he was noticing the differences even more. Her eyes were lighter in colour and showed more emotion than her sister. Her hair was auburn more than the dark brown he originally thought it was. She was a fighter, barely even out of breath from decking him in the face.

"Listen here asshole," She informed him in a cold voice, "I have enough shit to deal with, I don't need to deal with your bad choices. Done with Caroline? Fine then dump her, don't fucking play around with her like this. She doesn't deserve it."

"Also, I have never once dreamed of you. I would never dream of you. Remember I'm not her and neither is my sister."

She turned on her heel and headed back to the game. He watched her go, enjoying the view and smirked as she flipped him off. It was like she had eyes on the back of her head. She had spunk, it was what was keeping her alive. He would've gotten her back for the broken nose.

Bonnie seemed a bit surprised to see a hot and bothered Clara, but understood once everything was explained to her. She informed Caroline and Clara headed to the locker room and quickly changed out of the uniform and into a black turtleneck and tactical pants. She grabbed her bag and headed out. She was a fast walked and she dialed up the number of the pizza place as she went down the right street that would take her home. Her breath was growing visible as the temperature dropped. She heard a caw above her head and she easily found the crow it came from. She narrowed her eyes, she was starting to figure out who it belonged to. Vampires could control animals in Dracula, it wouldn't be that big of a surprise if Damon could. She finished up the order. A large pepperoni for Jeremy and a Hawaiian for her.

A Hawaiian pizza was the only way she could enjoy pineapple. She felt frustrated that, that was what she was given back. Her headache was growing worse. The pounding growing to be behind her eyes. She wanted to reach her home before it finally settled in and she was forced to watch her memories. She didn't know what was going to be brought back, but her stomach was churning. That wasn't a good sign. She chewed her cheek and opened the door to her house.

Honestly, she didn't really remember walking all the way home. She beat the pizza man there. It was less than thirty minutes. She was a bit cheesed by that, but paid him before whistling for her brother. He seemed surprised, but thankful that she was there. She placed the boxes in the living room and grabbed some plates. He snitched a piece of Hawaiian and she retaliated by grabbing a pepperoni. They sat on the couch and turned the tv on, and found a station with a science fiction movie playing. The Fifth Element was on and he watched his sisters face light up, there was also a strange hint of nostalgia.

Jenna came home and raised a brow at the two of them. Clara turned and started to quote the movie to her. She shook her head before grabbing a slice of pizza and joining them. If she couldn't get away from the weirdness then she might as well join it. She also got free pizza out of it. She leaned against her niece and was surprised by how warm she was. She sat up and brought a hand up to her forehead.

"You're running a fever, do you not feel it?" Jenna asked.

"Other than a pretty bad headache I feel fine," Clara said.

"Nope not taking that excuse," Jenna said and Clara groaned, "I'm using guardian authority, to bed and take a cool shower."

"All right, all right," Clara grumbled and Jeremy snickered at her predicament, "What are you laughing at?"

"You got Jenna'd," He quipped and got a slight smack from their aunt.

Clara shook her head at that and headed up the stairs. She was full and her headache was definitely getting worse. A cool shower didn't do much, other than cause goosebumps to break out on her skin. She looked at her arms and winced, it was difficult to move them. It was like she had torn the muscles in them and they were suddenly realising it. She brought her arms up and washed her hair, it was difficult but she needed to get out from under the cold stream. She did so and changed into pyjamas. Her bed was waiting her and she climbed in after grabbing her sketchbook. She took in a deep breath and steeled herself. It wasn't like she was just going to constantly dream of hell and monsters, right? She closed her eyes.

"Now I lay me down to sleep . I pray the lord my soul to keep." She quietly prayed, it felt like blasphemy.

Like it was one of the few things she wasn't allowed to say. She rubbed a hand against her cheek as she laid down. She got comfortable under the covers before reaching up and turning off the bedside lamp. Her eyes closed and her breathing slowly evened out.

She watched as the tall man fell and she ran to catch him. A knife was sticking out of his chest, blood staking his white shirt. She caught him and buckled under his weight. She couldn't place the time with a date, but she knew it was before she wasn't human. She could feel the tears rolling down her face as she tried to wake him up. It was cold where ever they were. He reached up and gently patted her head before his hand fell. She was given a crash course to who he was. He was her father figure, someone who tried to keep her normal but also looked after her when she went out and took care of monsters. She got more from the dream then she thought she would. She got names, faces and certain dates. She woke up and the tears wouldn't stop. She felt the urge to break things, to riot against her sudden grief. It felt so fresh, so deep. She brought her hands up and tried to stop the tears.

"Shit, stop crying," She grumbled to herself as she wiped at them again, it wasn't doing anything productive, "fuck."

She got up from the bed and headed into the bathroom for a few seconds. She leaned against the closed door and sobbed. It was quiet sobs that wracked her form as she let out pent up grief she didn't even know she had. Did she even cry after he died? Was she able to blank her emotions as a human? Or was that when she became like this? She bit her lip and tried to stop crying. She hated it. She hated crying, and she hated the fact that his death was her fault.

Gregory Schmidt, he owned a privet library and had taken her in when she was small. He raised her, saw her through her achievements and even paid for her to go to college. He was her father in every aspect of her life, and she went and forgot about him. She brought her knees to her chest and continued to cry. It just wouldn't stop. She took in a deep breath and tried. She needed to go back to sleep. Maybe she would get more memories or maybe some genuine dreams.

She didn't know how long she spent crying, but eventually it stopped. She splashed some water on her face and dried it. She didn't need to brush her teeth so she headed out of the bathroom. She could cry again the following day when she informed Bonnie of her newly discovered memories. At least someone would understand, and help her through it.

She got back into bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. She couldn't help but grumbled to herself. It sucked. Remembering shit, sucked. She would honestly rather never remember her previous life if it meant it would spare her these feelings. She burrowed into her pillow and closed her heavy eyes. She wasn't fully asleep when she heard something rustling about. She opened her eyes and looked around with a frown. Her window was open, she knew what that meant. One of the Salvatore brothers had entered their home, and she couldn't tell which one. Stefan had a good reason he was dating Elena, but Damon had no reason to be in there.

She closed it before glaring at the crow that seemed to take refuge in the tree outside of her room. She didn't care much for it, but wouldn't hurt an animal just for being a pawn for someone. She got back in bed and tried to go to sleep. Her dreams couldn't get any worse, so that was perfect. She already spent enough time crying in the bathroom for a lifetime. She huffed quietly and curled up in the bed.

She was going to hit Damon the next time she saw him. He planted a subconscious idea in her mind and was messing with her dreams. She didn't appreciate that. She was angry at him for that. Her dreams were messy enough and now someone else was messing with them? He was going to punched again.

She wondered if he found amusement messing people. She did, but not to this extent. He was snarky, and a sadistic ass. She didn't even want to look for redeeming qualities in him. He used Caroline and now he was messing with peoples minds. She wouldn't kill him. As much as he bitched with Stefan, his younger brother still loved him. It was baffling to her. She almost entertained the idea of redeemable qualities, just for a second. She quickly pulled away from that type of thinking. She couldn't get stuck in it. Not until he showed remorse. She'd be waiting a long time if that was the case. She could deal with it. It wasn't that big of an issue for her.