Thanks to Ally R Swan for reviewing.

Hello i'm sorry for not updating in months. From the middle of November on I've been working on oneshots, and several of them I'd started in 2012/2013. Anyway. Now those are finished. And now, as we're in 2021 I'm getting back to working on my stories as I usually do.

If there'll be a long A/N for this chapter? I just wanted to say that since the last chapter I finished a story and started some. And I'm not going to list them, if you're interested in them you can just go on my profile. But I just want to brag some about aaaaaaallllllllll the oneshots I've written.

-If only I could find the answer- Cobra Kai
-Words I could say, feelings I couldn't- Cobra Kai (Written for Epilepsy/ seizure/ SUDEP awareness and in memory of Pat Morita)
-Could this really be the truth- Cobra Kai (AU right after the end of season 2)
-Different son, different dad- Cobra Kai
-The forgotten kitchen towel- O. C.
-Give my heart a break- The dumping ground
-Crazy famous wolfmoon- Harry Potter
-Second chances I never thought I'd have- Julie and the phantoms
-Secrets kept- Harry Potter
-Without you I'm in pain- Twilight
-A wealth bigger than all- Ghost whisperer
-All I want for Christmas- Annie (In memory of Ann Reinking and Albert Finney)
-Some things change, some do not- Julie and the phantoms
-Parents and children- Julie and the phantoms

Can you see I was a bit obsessed with Cobra Kai for a while? As I'm starting to write this chapter I'm binge-watching season 3.

This is AU after season 8A. As for 8B It hasn't been on Youtube and therefore I haven't gotten a chance to watch it.

"Just make sure you shower and wash your hands properly… I would have told you the same even if we'd only been at the grocery store…"

On our way back home from the hospital May- Li was talking just like she usually did. As if nothing was different from this morning she had gone back to the only thing anyone had talked to for almost a year now- Covid!

"I know. And I will."

Before she would have the time to say anything else I opened the car door and got out. When I came inside no one would be happier than me if I could have just lay down on my bed, pull the quilt over my head and hide from the whole world. And not get out again until there was no one left that would even know nan ever existed.

But still knowing about the virus and what I had to do- as well the air that I had shared with nan so she had gotten all into my clothes I still couldn't have reached the shower fast enough.

I stayed in the shower for a lot longer than I used to. And it wasn't that I wanted to wash more carefully after being at the hospital, because I could too have done that. But it was like I wanted to wash off everything my nan had said to me.

I wanted to wash off every snarky comment and every time she'd agreed with Rae and Evie. I wanted to wash off everything she had said to my mum while they didn't know I was listening. I wanted to wash off the knowledge that she wouldn't have had to take me in after mum died.

Just like the stinking, yucky fish from her store I wanted to wash it all off. And with that, after I had washed my hair I only stood and let the water run over my head for almost certain half an hour.

And then at last, it was like something told me what I already knew about that it would never be gone from my memories. I turned the crane off and reached for a bath towel that I wrapped around me and headed for my room.

Just as I had dressed, wrapped the towel aroundn my hair and sat down on my bed, reaching for my mum's old walkman there waws a knock on the door.

"What?"

I usually didn't. But if there was any time I didn't feel like talking to anyone it was right now. But neither did I actually feel like throwing her out of here when Taz opened the door and came in.

"I… well, we heard about what happened while you were away."

"Well, then you should know that and why I want to be left alone."

"I'm sorry about your grandmother. We all are, and we're all here for you if you need us."

"I don't need you. And I don't need anyone. You should know that by now."

"Yeah. I do." Taz sat down on the chair. "But I thought maybe you'd like to talk. I mean, now there's just the two of us and not everyone else too."

Had I been another type of person, or maybe if I had just stopped to think for a moment I would have known how kind Taz was. How she was only trying to be nice so I wouldn't be sad.

Caring about herself. I forced myself to think. And not about me.

"Why would I care about her and what's going on?" I asked dryly at last. Making sure she knew it was the truth. "I hated her after all."

"Yeah. But she was your grandmother."

"What do I care?"

"You really don't care? I'd do anything to have a grandmother and I'd be sad if she died."

"Would you?" I'd had enough. "Would you still like them if they're a bully? If you do everything for them but they do nothing for you?"

"She did do something. She let you live at hers after your mum died? Even before then as well you lived at hers."

"To use me… and mum as her slaves, yes." I was standing by now and the only reason I didn't beat Taz was tha I knew I'd be the one to get in trouble. "Nan always ran right over us…"

But it was fine since I and mum had always known we weren't alone in it.

…"We cleaned her apartment, we worked at her stuff, we treated her like a queen and we never got as much as a thank you. And then, when… people didn't agree with us nan would do her best to prove them right… You'd never like another bully like that. So why wouldn't I hate her? Why wouldn't I hate her with every little piece of me?"

"I… ehrm… I…"

"Why would I be anything but happy that she's dead? Why would I waste my time with thinking about it? Why would I care at all?"

I was just too angry to even shout at her.

The thought was still in my mind that I couldn't hurt Taz or I would be the one in trouble. But now I was too angry to even do that. Too angry to think at all.

"Get out of my room…"

Something in my expression must have scared Taz. Because suddenly there was a new look in her eyes. At last Taz then turned and hurried out of the room before slamming the door after her.

I sat down on my bed again and mumbled to myself.

"I don't care. I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care."

Random fact

It's actually true what Bec thinks at the beginning. No one seems to be able to talk about anything at all without it leading into talking about the virus.