Chapter 9: Bad Egg
Mark backed away slowly from the menacing, yet tiny egg-like creature. "Wh-what is it?" he managed to ask.
"Why, I'm a Pokémon egg, silly!" the egg replied.
"His name is Bad Egg for now," the strange person who Zero was with said. "We'll come up with something better later."
"And who might you be?" Mark asked.
"My name's Terri," said the… girl? Mark couldn't exactly tell. He decided to keep pronouns gender-neutral for the time being when he saw the pin on her overalls, with four stripes of yellow, white, purple and black. "I'll be traveling with you and Zero until we can find out what to do with this scoundrel."
"I'm no scoundrel!" Bad Egg hissed, flailing around in Zero's arms.
"C-calm down!" Zero said, panic creeping into his voice as he tried to subdue the egg. It stopped thrashing as Zero hummed a few notes of an unfamiliar lullaby. He then looked up at Mark. He looked a lot more tired than he had been that morning, most likely because he now had the added stress of an egg to take care of. Mark frowned.
"Zero, Mark told me you were in the area! How've you been?" Mark jumped when he heard Misty's voice behind him. He had nearly forgotten she was there.
"I'm okay," Zero replied. "It's good to see you again, Misty."
"Likewise. Why didn't you tell me you were going on a Pokémon journey? I could've seen you off on your way to Pallet Town! I patrol Route 21 often."
"I actually came from near Vermilion City. There was a swarm of Gyarados blocking the way from Cinnabar Island to Pallet's port the day I started my journey."
"Aww, man. I took care of them pretty quickly. You could've waited."
"I suppose I could've." Zero chuckled and approached the Water-type Gym Leader, giving her a peck on the cheek. She giggled and blushed, then pulled him into a hug.
"I've missed you, you silly Zangoose," she teased.
"Y-you two… you're dating?" Terri and Mark asked simultaneously, their eyes wide with shock.
"We have been for about a year now," Misty said proudly.
"You seem surprised, Mark. Didn't you say you were dating Flannery?" Zero said.
"I-I… I lied, sorta," Mark admitted. "Truth is, Flannery and I dated for a time, but we broke up shortly before I came over here."
Zero chuckled. "I understand. You just wanted to make me jealous."
Mark's cheeks turned bright red. "N-no, that's not it! Forget I said anything!" He calmed himself down and changed the subject. "Now, can you two tell me how exactly you came across the Bad Egg?"
"Oh, yeah, I suppose we've gotta mention that," Terri said sheepishly.
"Start from the beginning!" Bad Egg said, clapping its tiny hands together. "I love story time with Father!"
"P-please stop calling me that…" Zero mumbled. "Alright, Mark. We'll tell you the whole story."
.
"Alright, Zero, you're all set! Try not to put too much pressure on your broken leg, or it won't heal properly. Your chest injuries should be fine, too. Nothing's broken up there, there's just a lot of bruising."
"Thank you, Nurse Joy," Zero said. "I'll be careful."
Zero exited the Pokémon Center, finally ready to pick up Lucy, Blaine's Ditto, from the Route 5 Daycare. Braze was at his side, prepared to fight any Trainer they came across, and Glo and Sage were situated on Zero's shoulders.
Route 5 was just south of Cerulean City and en route to Saffron City, Kanto's capital city. Zero would have to persuade Mark hundreds of times not to go through there once they reunited, as the Psychic-type Gym Leader was notoriously unkind to novice Trainers. Though, Zero bet Mark would try his hand at the Gym anyway, only to get crushed by Psychic-type moves. He held back laughter at the mere thought of it. There weren't too many new and interesting Pokémon for Zero to register for his PokéDex on the Route, but he did run into a few Meowth and Bellsprout, which he hadn't encountered until now.
As he was pursuing a Meowth that had attacked him, Braze readying a Metal Claw to retaliate, Zero ran headfirst into something just a few inches shorter than him. "Sorry, sorry!" he yelped, getting up and continuing the chase. When he looked up to relocate the Meowth, he was disappointed to see that he had lost it. "Crap. We'll get it next time, Braze," said Zero in the static tone. While waiting in the Pokémon Center's human hospital, Zero had discovered that he was able to speak with Braze the same way he had with Bushido.
Yeah, I s'pose, Braze replied bitterly, expelling the metallic light that was coating his claws. He paused for a second, listening to chittering and squeaking from Glo and Sage. The others are starvin'. Why don't we get something to eat?
"Good idea. It's near lunchtime."
Luckily, the daycare was close, and they served Moomoo Milk, sandwiches and Pokémon food for travelers who were either strapped for cash or just needed a pick-me-up. As Braze, Glo and Sage munched on their food, Zero approached the counter and placed a five-hundred Poké note in front of the lady there.
"I'm picking up a Pokémon for Mr. Blaine Fuji," he said with a polite smile.
"Blaine Fuji, eh? The Gym Leader?" the woman asked.
"Yep, that's him! I'm his son, Zero. I'm picking up his Ditto, Lucy."
"Oh, that one." The woman's face was laced with disgust, and Zero couldn't tell exactly why until she came back with the purple blob of goop. Stuck inside of Lucy was a green-and-white Pokémon egg.
For the love of Arceus.
"H-how did it do that?!" Zero spluttered, taking the cheerful Ditto and its egg.
"Didn't your dad leave a Togekiss here too? Nicknamed Kiss? Because that's where this egg came from. Old man Albert caught the two of them making sweet love in the grass where we leave the Pokémon to roam. Had to cover the sweet, innocent ranchers' eyes after that display."
"Uh, not that I know of?" The statement turned into more of a question. His father hadn't mentioned a Togekiss...
"That would be my Togekiss," said a voice from behind Zero. Startled, he whipped around to see a short, feminine person behind him, a stern look on her—their?—face. "Kiss is mine."
"Oh, perfect…" Zero grumbled. Then, he realized: this was the person he ran into earlier, on his way here. "Oh my gosh, I'm so, so sorry for bumping into you earlier…" he said, fumbling over his words. "A-and… for my dad's Ditto… it… it uh… can get really friendly with other Pokémon…"
"I'll say," the person spat. Kiss the Togekiss flew over to them and landed on their shoulder, which they were slightly perturbed by, as the flying creature was much too large to do such a thing. The Trainer returned their Pokémon to its Poké Ball and turned to face Zero again. "The name's Terri Cedar. I'm a Pokémon breeder, and I'm studying to become a professor." Their voice had a slight accent. Was that Kalosian?
"I'm Zero," Zero replied. "These are Braze, Glo and Sage." He pointed to each Pokémon as he introduced them. "I… don't exactly know what I want to do with my journey yet. In truth, I only really started traveling because I wanted to leave home and explore."
"That's nice," Terri said, slapping a few hundred-Poké notes on the counter.
Zero noticed Lucy introducing itself to Braze and returned it to its Poké Ball out of fear that Braze would be its next victim. The Ditto was notorious for doing things like this, and Blaine was banned from multiple daycares across the world due to its… flirtatious tendencies. Zero kept the egg tight in its pink blanket. "Do… you want the egg, Terri?"
"Nah, you keep it," Terri said, still looking away from Zero. They checked their bag to make sure they had everything, then geared up to leave. They then stood in front of the doorway, and remained there. Their eyes narrowed. "Well, what're you waiting for? Let's go."
"Wait, what do you mean?" Zero asked.
"I expect payment for what your Ditto did to Kiss," Terri clarified. "So, I'm going to travel with you and annoy the ever living hell outta you until that egg hatches." They smirked. "Good luck surviving, Zero. I can be really freakin' persistent, and Togepi eggs take ages to hatch."
"I shouldn't take that long," said a voice, most likely a Pokémon's. But… it wasn't a voice that went straight to Zero's mind, so it couldn't possibly…
...He looked down.
It wasn't a Pokémon speaking. It was the egg.
"OH HOT TAMALES!" Zero yelped, dropping the egg. Terri dove forward and caught it, then handed it back to the shell-shocked Trainer. "Y-you can… you can talk…"
"Of course I can!" the egg said. Zero grimaced; it had a mouth. A large, gaping mouth, almost like a Golbat's, with fangs and a tongue that was dripping saliva. Though, it had no eyes, so it was remarkable that the egg could even see its surroundings. Now that he was thinking about it… Could it? The egg's voice had a heavy Galarian accent. Zero couldn't even begin to think about where he inherited that from. In fact, Zero was barely convinced it was a Togepi egg to begin with. However, the stubby, cream-colored arms and feet that had sprouted from the egg was evidence enough, Zero supposed.
"Uh, Terri, are you sure this thing's gonna hatch into a Togepi?" Zero asked.
"Positive," Terri replied. "Sure, he looks like he would be a Zubat egg, but look at his hands and feet." They pointed to the egg, and he wiggled his hands and feet in response. "Those are definitely Togepi appendages. I know that because Kiss was my starter. Raised her from a little Togepi." They chuckled. "Togepi eggs are super rare. I've never seen one colored just like generic Pokémon eggs. Most Togepi keep their red-and-blue triangle pattern from their shell when they hatch. It'll be interesting to see how this rotten egg works."
The egg scoffed. "How dare you call me rotten!" he spat. "I am perfectly fine, thank you very much!"
"Yeah, but you can talk," Zero replied. The egg tried to find an appropriate response, but found that he couldn't. Then, Zero got an idea. "Hey, we need a name for this little guy. Why don't we just call him Bad Egg?"
"No objections here," Terri said, smiling. "Y'know, you're not as dumb as you let on."
"I have multiple objections," Bad Egg said, but Terri and Zero just ignored him. He huffed and shuffled around in Zero's arms. "And Father is not dumb."
"Wh-what did you call me?" Zero said. He fumbled with Bad Egg a bit, but the Togepi egg latched onto his arm for balance.
"You're my father, yes? So I believe it appropriate to call you such."
Terri snorted, stifling a laugh. Zero glared at them, and they burst out laughing, tears streaming down their face. "I'm sorry! With that accent, and with how stupidly pathetic you look right now… I just think that's hilarious!" They wiped the tears and snorted again, getting the last of the chuckles out of their system. "Sorry, I just can't take you seriously when you've got a Pokémon egg calling you Father."
Zero sighed, having had enough ridiculing for one day, then returned Braze, Glo and Sage to their Poké Balls. He would have to go to the Cerulean City Pokémon Center to transfer Lucy back to his father. "Well Terri, if you're traveling with me, I'm gonna tell you I already have someone I'm on a journey with. He's taking the Gym Challenge, so we'll be a while in certain places. That okay?"
"Whatever, man," Terri replied. They opened the daycare door, and the two of them left and began the trek back to Cerulean City. They smiled devilishly. "As long as I can mentally torture you with my terrible puns along the way, anything is fine."
"Great…" Zero said bitterly. He was already sick of them.
The walk back to Cerulean City felt much shorter than the walk to the daycare did. Zero's head was pounding and he felt dizzy by the time they returned, and he groaned silently to himself when he realized that he hadn't grabbed lunch for himself. "Hey, Terri? Would you mind looking after my Pokémon? I'm gonna grab something to eat."
"Sure," Terri replied. Zero handed Glo and Sage's Poké Balls to them.
Braze had been let out earlier, as Zero had run into a few Trainers on the way back and he never bothered to return the Chameleon. He glared at Terri, then dug his claws into Zero's pant leg. Do I have to?
"Yeah," Zero replied. "I won't be long, Braze. A lot of the cafés in Cerulean don't allow Pokémon because they're so small."
Braze sighed and let go. Fine. But you owe me a croissant.
Zero chuckled. "Alright," he said in his normal voice. "I'll be back."
"You don't want me taking the egg too?" Terri asked.
"I'm staying in Father's bag," Bad Egg said, smiling.
"He won't let me put him down," Zero explained in a whisper.
"Gotcha." Terri grinned evilly again, and Zero sighed.
Zero made his way to his favorite Kalosian-style café, one he and his girlfriend would often visit on dates. He hadn't been there in a few months, mostly because of how busy Blaine had been with challengers lately. He ordered his usual—a croque madame—for himself, a crepe for Bad Egg, and that croissant he had promised Braze, then sat at one of the picnic tables nearby and savored his meal.
"So, Bad Egg," Zero said in between bites. "How come you can speak? And what's with the accent?"
"I don't know," Bad Egg replied. Zero glances over at him; he was a surprisingly distinguished and polite eater. "As soon as you held me, I felt this weird tingling sensation, and then words and knowledge flooded into my head. That's what it felt like. I can't really explain it, though."
"That's okay," Zero said. "I don't expect you to. You're… well, I don't know. A baby?"
"I guess you could call me that." The Togepi egg paused and wiped his mouth with a napkin, throwing the crepe wrapper in the garbage bin.
The conversation ended there, as neither party knew what else to say. Zero finished his sandwich and scooped Bad Egg back up, placing him into his backpack. The Trainer stood up, and a wave of vertigo hit. He squeaked in surprise, planting both feet firmly to the ground before he toppled over, and hung onto a nearby lamppost. Floaters swam in front of his eyes, and his ears began ringing.
Zero felt something rummaging around in his bag. His vision was too blurry to see what it was. He let go of the post and groped around for the park bench he knew was near, and when he found it, he sat down. A wave of heat followed the vertigo. Something handed him his water bottle. Rather than drink it, he took off his hat and dumped the contents over his head in an attempt to cool himself off.
Zero's vision cleared after a good ten minutes. He sensed someone standing over him. He looked up to see Terri, as well as his Pokémon. "You alright?" Terri asked. "Bad Egg called the Pokémon Center from your cell phone. He said you passed out, or were really close."
"I probably just didn't eat enough," Zero fibbed, his voice weak. "I'm alright. Let's go back to the Pokémon Center. I have to transfer Lucy over to my dad."
Terri pursed their lips, but they nodded and helped Zero up off of the ground. When had he ended up there? He decided it wasn't important, and he followed Terri back to the Pokémon Center.
When they arrived, Zero logged into the PC and opened up the Pokémon transfer app. He placed Lucy's Poké Ball on the tray and pressed a button, and the orb disappeared. A message then popped up on the computer's screen: "Lucy (Ditto) had been transferred to Blaine Fuji!"
A few seconds later, Zero's phone rang. He jumped, startled by the vibration, but answered it when he saw the caller ID. It was his father!
"Zero, m'boy! I see you've transferred Lucy back to me! How's the little rascal?"
"About that…" Zero said, laughing nervously. "It uh… produced an egg with another Trainer's Togekiss. The two of us are traveling together now and I'm taking care of the egg, so don't worry about it."
"Congratulations! You're a dad now!" Blaine said jokingly, chuckling. Zero laughed too, but he didn't really mean it. "How's the Gym Challenge going for ya? Did you get your Boulder Badge?"
"Sure did," Zero lied. "I'll be challenging Misty later today."
"She won't go easy on ya, even if she's yer girlfriend," Blaine warned. "Her Water Pokémon will decimate your Charmander."
"Actually, Braze is a Charmeleon now," Zero said. "And I have a Pikachu, so I've got an advantage."
"Good job, kiddo. I'm proud of you." Blaine paused. "I'll see you when you get back to Cinnabar to challenge me. I hope to see a Charizard by the time you get back, ya hear?"
"Y-yeah," Zero said.
"Oh, and one more thing before ya hang up on yer old man," Blaine said. "Could ya be a good boy and travel north a ways to check up on my pal Bill? I haven't heard from him in a while and I need my PC fixed. Damn thing was hacked by a pesky Rotom a month ago."
"I can do that."
"Wonderful! He lives near the lighthouse north of Cerulean, in a little cottage by the sea. Ya can't miss it. Thanks, son! I'll be seeing ya!" The phone beeped as Blaine hung up.
Zero sighed and sat back in his chair. It was barely even halfway through the day and he was already bushed. He still felt a little bit woozy from his fainting spell earlier, but he would be able to hold on for the rest of the day, he supposed.
"Hey, Terri!" he called over his shoulder. Terri looked up from the magazine their nose was buried in. "Let's head over to the gym. My friend should be close to done with his battle with Misty at this point."
"Sounds good to me," Terri replied.
"Yay! I get to meet Uncle!" Bad Egg cheered. "What's he like?"
"W-well…" Zero hesitated. "Mark's not always the nicest person, but he's energetic and fun to be around, most of the time. He's a strong battler, too. I think you'd like him, Bad Egg."
"Uncle Mark…" Bad Egg mused to himself.
Zero smiled and got up from his chair. He braced himself, just in case he toppled over again, but when the ground felt stable beneath his feet he gathered his bag and Poké Balls from Terri and placed Bad Egg in the backpack's largest pocket. Bad Egg was not pleased with this arrangement, though, and he scrambled out of the bag and climbed back into his "Father's" arms. Zero sighed, but he let the Togepi egg remain there. "Let's go, then," Zero said, and the group set off to the Cerulean City Gym.
.
"So that's it, huh?" Mark said, taking Bad Egg from Zero so he could get a better look at the odd-looking creature. "You just… found a walking, talking egg at the daycare?"
"Basically," Zero replied. He took back the egg as it reached toward him. "You alright with Terri coming with us?"
"Sure, why not," Mark said, shrugging. "The more the merrier, I suppose."
"They probably wouldn't have let you say no anyways," Zero said. He chuckled. "They're too stubborn for that."
"Got that right, punk," Terri replied, punching Zero lightly in the arm.
"You all have fun," Misty said. She smiled and embraced Zero again. "I have more Gym Battles to take on today. See you around, Zero! Love you!"
"Bye, Misty!" Zero replied. "Love you too! I'll visit real quick one more time before we head off to Mark's next Gym battle."
"Sounds like a plan. See you then!" Misty retreated back into her Gym, and Zero watched lovingly as the doors shut behind her.
"Well then, where're we headed next?" Mark asked.
"We've got to take a detour up north first," Zero replied. "My dad wants me to check up on an old friend of his, and then we'll head south toward Saffron City. The Underground Tunnel will take us to near Vermilion City, where I think you should challenge Lt. Surge next."
"Isn't there a Gym in Saffron though?" Terri asked.
"Y-yeah, but…" Zero started, but Mark quickly interrupted.
"If there's a Gym there, I'm totally challenging it! Sorry, Zero, but I won't be taking your suggestion." Mark was thrilled. Saffron was only about ten miles south of Cerulean, so a couple days' worth of walking would land the group there. "It's much closer than Vermilion."
"But the Gym Leader…"
"Who cares, Zero? I can beat them! No problem!"
"Father told me she's extremely difficult for amateur Trainers to defeat," Bad Egg said. "Are you sure you can handle it, Uncle Mark?"
"Of course! My team's awesome. And since Tulip just evolved, she should be able to handle things easily."
Zero sighed. "Alright, if you're sure you're up for it, we can stop in Saffron so you can challenge Sabrina. But first, we've got to go to the Cerulean Cape. My dad's friend could be in trouble."
...
Author's Note:
Meet Terri and Bad Egg! Terri, as stated earlier, is a Pokémon breeder who is studying to become a professor. They identify as nonbinary, preferring they/them pronouns. Bad Egg is a sentient Togepi egg! He's based on the infamous glitch of the same name. I just want to let you all know that I won't be able to post a chapter next week, as I won't have access to a computer to write or publish anything for that period of time. I'll be back the week after, though with Chapter 10!