To the guest asking if Santana will battle depression, anxiety and such. Yes she will and it will appear in future chapters, but I will tone it down a bit sure this story is an all over trigger warning but I also want it to be a bit happy at times because everyone deserves some happiness.
One week later.
Santana sighs softly falling back on the couch after bringing her daughter to pre-K and runs a hand through her hair, she turns to Brittany as she walks over to her after grabbing two cans of coke and forces a smile. ''I am ready to go back to school.''
Brittany sits down next to her opening both cans and holds one out for her smiling sadly. ''I know you are San, but are your ribs healed enough?''
''They are killing me right now and I only walked one block to pre-K with Bella.'' Santana grumbles softly, she turns to Brittany and quickly shakes her head. ''I don't want to lay down again Britt.''
''You need to rest though, your ribs will heal quicker as long as you relax San.''
''I know but that's so boooooring.'' Santana whines softly shaking her head, she throws a fake glare to her as she hears her snicker and flips her off. ''Shut up.''
Brittany laughs softly placing her can on the table and pushes herself up in a standing position, she holds out her hand and smiles slightly. ''Come on whiny, time to lay down for a bit.''
''I don't think I can stand up, can I just sit here and relax?'' Santana asks smiling sheepishly, Brittany shakes her head and leans down scooping her up bridal style. ''Britt!'' Santana squeaks out her arms immediately wrapping around her shoulders, she shakes her head as Brittany carries her to the bedroom and groans. ''You gotta stop carrying me and have to think more about your knee, I am too fat for this.''
Brittany stops in her tracks tightening her hold around Santana as she tries to get down and shakes her head raising an eyebrow. ''Hold up, why the hell do you think that you are fat Santana?''
''Because I am?'' Santana asks frowning trying to get out of Brittany's hold, Brittany sighs softly walking towards the bed knowing Santana will hurt herself if she keeps squirming and places her down. She sits down on the edge and slowly cups her cheek forcing her to look up at her.
''You are not fat Santana.''
Santana looks up at her and bites her lip mentioning her hand down her body. ''I am, come on Britt you can't tell me that you don't see it!'' She looks down at her stomach and bites her lip. ''I have stretchmarks and my stomach isn't flat as it was before.''
''Hey.'' Brittany murmurs soothingly, she tilts Santana's head up again and smiles sadly as she sees the insecurity in her eyes. ''You are beautiful Santana.'' She shakes her head as she tries to say something and lifts a finger up to her lips to shut her up. ''Those stretchmarks are a reminder of what your body created San and they will fade with the time, but they show that your body raised and fed your adorable daughter.'' She keeps their eyes locked trying to show Santana that she means every word she says and smiles slightly. ''I also know that you didn't get the chance to really work out even if you wanted too, but as soon as this is over you can pick that back up and I will gladly watch Bella or she can go to the girls if you prefer that. Your weight also doesn't bother my knee at all because you are as light as a feather San I had backpacks heavier than you overseas, which means that if anything you are a bit underweight because you didn't eat a lot due to the stress.''
She leans forward kissing her forehead softly and pulls back looking into emotional brown orbs. ''You are gorgeous sweetie and I will tell you that every day until you believe me.''
''Why are you so perfect?'' Santana asks sniffling softly, she shakes her head as Brittany tries to reply and chuckles softly. ''Don't even try telling me that you are far from perfect Brittany, ever since we met two and a half months ago you are a godsend.'' She looks up into bright blue eyes biting her lip as she feels butterflies in her stomach as soon as she sees Brittany's soft bashful smile. ''You gave me the courage to finally fight so I can enjoy life and offered me and my daughter a room in your apartment so we wouldn't be homeless, you got me a lawyer who is amazing and with every appointment we have gives me the feeling that I can win this.''
She wipes away her tears and sniffles. ''You are the reason my daughter walks around with a bright happy smile and every time you play with her it brightens even more, you are the reason I finally believe that whatever happened isn't my fault and that it's time to fight for my own happiness.'' She glances down as she intertwines their hands and looks back up locking their eyes again seeing the emotion in Brittany's eyes. ''You give me the strength that left me almost three years ago Britt, without you I would've never ever thought that this would happen and I would still be scared shitless. So yeah for me you are perfect and I will tell you that over and over again because it is the damn truth, I don't even know how I can thank you for everything you did and for how you make me feel.''
''You don't have to thank me.'' Brittany murmurs softly her voice filled with emotions, Santana runs her thumb over Britt's knuckles and sighs softly.
''I do have to thank you Britt for everything, for what you did and will do.'' Santana murmurs sniffling. ''I don't think that I would've been strong enough to go through all of this without you by my side, I know that you cleared your calendar so you can join me during every meeting with Marley and that I really appreciate that but it also makes me feel bad.''
''You don't have to feel bad for that San, I promised you that I will be there as long as you need me and I won't break my promise.''
''What if you need you in my life forever?'' Santana asks softly looking down at their hands, Brittany smiles raising her free hand up to Santana's face and cups her cheek, she smiles lovingly as they lock eyes and licks her lips.
''I will be there, you really think that I would let you walk out of my life that easily?''
Santana shrugs her shoulders and bites her lip. ''I am not easy Brittany and I don't think that I will ever be, I am broken and I don't think anyone can fix me.''
''You are not broken Santana.'' Brittany says softly keeping their eyes locked, she reaches up catching a tear that drips down her cheek and catches it with her thumb. ''You had to go through hell and you are still standing Santana, you are the strongest person I know and I am sure my friends and your friends will tell you the same. You put your daughters well being before your own like every mother would but you walked through fire for her and protected her at all times, your daughter lives her life this happy because of you.''
She moves closer as Santana pulls on their intertwined hands and sits down next to her, she lifts her arm knowing she wants to cuddle and rubs her back as she nuzzles her face in her shoulder tears soaking her shirt. ''You are everything but broken Santana, sure your life was really hard but that you are standing shows me just how strong you are.'' She reaches down cupping her cheek and pulls her head up locking eyes on tear filled blue orbs. ''I don't know if you want to hear this but I just have to say it, I heard how insecure you are this past week and while it's understanding because of everything they said it hurts to see that you believed them. I think that you need someone to talk to as soon as all of this is over San, sure your friends and I are here whenever you need to talk but you need someone professional.''
''You mean a shrink?'' Santana asks frowning tears still clear in her voice, Brittany bites her lip keeping her hold on Santana knowing this conversation can go either way and sighs softly.
''Yeah a therapist someone who can help you with your insecurities, I know that it will be a stranger and you don't want to but it might help sweetie.''
Santana bites her lip knowing Brittany is right but still shakes her head. ''I only need you and our friends Brittany, I don't need a shrink.''
Brittany nods her head deciding to discuss it another time and sighs softly. ''Alright then.'' She glances at the time and smiles slightly reaching into her nightstand grabbing an aspirin. ''It's really time for a nap San, Puck will come home with Bella in two hours.''
Santana sighs softly taking the painkiller from her and quickly swallows it with a sip of water, she turns to Brittany and bites her lip smiling shyly. ''Can you stay?''
Brittany hums softly sliding down the bed after taking a painkiller herself knowing she has to train her leg as soon as she stands up and pulls Santana closer, she kisses the top of her head as she nuzzles her head against her shoulder and smiles slightly as she hears her sigh contently knowing she will fall asleep as soon as the painkillers work. ''Try not to think about anything for the next few days San, don't want you to worry too much before Friday comes around.''
''Not that easy.'' Santana murmurs softly, she rubs her cheek against Britt's shoulder and sighs softly. ''I am scared to see them Friday.''
''I know you are but we will all be there and they won't come near you San, Bella will be safe with Judy and we will all be in the courtroom with you.''
Santana hums softly tilting her head up to kiss Britt's cheek and freezes as their lips touch, her eyes widen as soon as she feels Brittany tense and quickly pulls away pushing herself up in a siting position ignoring her ribs screaming in pain. '' Fuck, sorry!''
Brittany slowly blinks feeling her whole body hum after the barely there kiss and gulps seeing the tenseness in Santana's back, she slowly sits up placing her hand on Santana's shoulder pulling back quickly as she feels her tense and sighs softly. ''San it's okay.''
Santana shakes her head burying her face in her hands and gulps. ''Shit Britt I wanted to kiss your cheek, I am so sorry.''
''Santana don't worry, please relax.'' Brittany murmurs softly still trying to calm herself down too, Santana shakes her head again and groans.
''How can you be so calm? I just kissed you Brittany.''
''San you wanted to kiss my cheek the same time I wanted to kiss your head, we both didn't know what the other wanted to do.'' Brittany tries to say calmly, she slowly places her hand back on Santana's shoulder pulling her back in her arms as soon as she doesn't feel her flinch and lays back down knowing Santana's ribs are hurting even more after the sudden movement. ''I am not angry about it Santana, please relax sweetie.'' She murmurs softly rubbing her back.
''How can you be so calm?'' Santana asks frowning as she allows herself to relax back in Brittany's arms, Brittany chuckles softly and bites her lip.
''I am anything but calm San, but I am not angry or upset about what happened.'' She bites her lip as Santana leans up to look down at her in confusion and slowly grabs her hand, she places it in the middle of her chest feeling her heart still race and raises an eyebrow. ''See not calm at all.'' She mumbles blushing as she sees Santana's eyebrows raise in shock.
''What but how, I mean why.'' Santana cuts herself off and drops her head groaning, Brittany smiles slightly hearing her frustrated groan and places her hand on the small of her back.
''Want to arrange the thoughts flying through that pretty mind of yours or want me to answer those jumbled questions?''
''Why?'' Santana asks softly.
''Why what?''
''Why is your heart racing like that?'' Santana clarifies shrugging.
''I wished that I could give you an easy answer San but therefore I have to sort somethings out myself.''
''Huh?'' Santana asks confused Britt's answer only confusing her more, Brittany sighs softly folding her free arm behind her head and looks up at the ceiling biting her lip.
''To give you a clear answer that wouldn't confuse you, I have to sort my feelings out Santana.'' She gulps as she feels Santana tense and closes her eyes knowing Santana will lean up to look at her once again. ''The only thing that I can tell you now is that I never felt this protective over someone and that I will try to do everything to see your beautiful smile instead of a frown and tears, seeing you sad hurts me and if I can change it I will.''
''Does that mean?'' Santana asks softly looking down at the older girl, Brittany nervously bites her lip and shrugs slowly opening her eyes gazing into Santana's eyes. She gulps as she sees the confusion but also something else in her eyes and sighs softly.
''Yea.'' She murmurs nervously. ''But I won't act on anything that can possibly jeopardize the trial, or what will only stress you more I honestly don't even know what I am feeling right now Santana but I know that it's not just friendship.''
''I um.'' Santana gulps laying back down so she can hide her face in Britt's shoulder and bites her lip slowly wrapping her arm around Britt's waist. ''I know that what I feel isn't just friendship either Britt, but we met during the lowest point in my life I don't even know why you are feeling like this when I am so fucked up.''
Brittany sighs softly rubbing Santana's back as she feels her yawn and bites her lip. ''A wise men once told me that if someone doesn't like you at your worst, they sure as hell don't deserve you at your best.'' She turns her head kissing the top of Santana's and shrugs chuckling softly as she groans as soon as her head moves with the movement. ''Look this conversation will only stress you out more because it's unknown territory for the both of us, how about we talk about all of this after the trial and we don't put unnecessary pressure on you? I won't walk away from you after the trial San but I do think that we need to talk about all of this, I don't want you to flip out because you kissed me because I um.'' She pauses running her hand down her face as she blushes and bites her lip. ''Didn't really mind.'' She finishes softly.
Santana slowly nods her head biting her lip and sighs tiredly. ''Yeah I think that will be the best thing to do for now, even though I know that I will still think about it now that I know.''
''I know you will and I won't tell you to stop thinking, but don't overthink and if you ever feel like your mind is getting out of hand talk to me okay?''
''I'll try Britt-Britt.'' Santana murmurs tiredly, she rubs her eyes as she yawns and sighs. ''God I am tired.''
Brittany hums softly pulling the comforter over them and smiles. ''Take a nap San, Bella and Puck will be home soon.'' she smiles as she hums tightening her hold around her waist and continues stroking her back feeling her slowly drift off to sleep, she leans back against the pillows behind her feeling Santana relax and looks up at the ceiling biting her lip.
God knows what will happen as soon as we talk about everything, but I will always be there for her no matter what happens.