The plants around Rian withered and died.
Gone. She was gone. Not gone in the way Mira or his father were gone, but still lost to him.
He tried to follow her, but bramble and thorns stopped him at every turn. He would never make it through the forest, not like this. He needed to go back and resupply if he wanted even a chance of finding her.
He turned and trudged back to Stone-in-the-Wood. The jubilant sounds of celebrating gelfling only put a lump in his throat and a weight on his heart.
Though they won, the battle only brought him horror. Dueling the General and plunging his sword into flesh, the reemergence of the Hunter and nearly getting his head torn off, Deet taking the full power of the Emperor's magic.. Terror ripped through him when he saw that beam hit her. She screamed out in shock, in pain, in fear, and he was once again helpless to stop it. Once again, he could do nothing but watch as someone he loved died.
But she did not die. She struck back, taking out one of the Skeksis, proving the Lords were mortal. And if they were mortal, they could be defeated.
After the Skeksis retreated, he was concerned only with ensuring his friends were unharmed. He hugged Gurjin, saw Brea embracing her sister, then watched Deet wonder off into the woods.
When he made it back to the village, he was acutely aware of the eyes on him. Strangers looked at him like he was some sort of hero, but he didn't feel like one. While everyone around him was filled with elation, he felt lost in a haze.
"See, there he is," Gurjin cried, bringing Rian back to the surface.
He looked up to see his friend and Mother Aughra resting on the steps of the Maudra's Home Hearth and his feet carried him to them.
"What'd I tell you?" Gurjin went on. "Probably snuck off for a snog."
"But Deet's not with him," Kylan whispered back.
"Rian?" Brea stood up to greet him. "Where's Deet? When we couldn't find you two after the battle, we thought you were together."
"Deet…" he muttered, watching their faces slowly melt into dread. "Deet is…" He choked on his words and his friends exchanged fearful glances.
"Deet?" a new voice behind him spoke. He turned to find himself faced with Deet's father. "Has something happened to my daughter?" Every fear imaginable flash through this father's eyes.
"Deet is alive," Rian stumbled out, unable to keep this poor gelfling in suspense any longer. "It's the Darkening, I think. Her eyes were purple and I could see veins in her arms."
A grave look passed on Aughra's face. "Maudra Argot tells me the sanctuary tree gifted her with its powers," she said, standing up and walking over to them. "If that is true, she may have taken its ability to absorb the Darkening without being completely destroyed."
Hope grew in his heart. "So there's a chance? We can save her?"
"As long as she still lives, there's always a chance, but I haven't a clue how to reverse it."
Rian's eyes turned back to the forest. The spot Deet disappeared through drew him to it like a magnet. He needed to find her. He simply needed to. "I'm going after her," he declared. "Someone needs to bring her back. If the Skeksis get to her first…" That was a chilling thought. They saw how much power she wielded and, whether they wanted to take her out or harness it for themselves, that made her a target. It wouldn't be the first time they made a gelfling their slave.
"But how will you find her?" Kylan asked.
"Her power's leaving a trail," Rian explained, recalling the path of dead plants that lay in her wake. "I should be able to catch up."
"But the animals that were possessed by the darkening became aggressive," Brea argued. "You saw what she can do. What if-"
"She wouldn't hurt me!" Rian snapped. "She wouldn't hurt any of us. She…" He looked around at his friends' worried faces, all seeming to ask how he was so sure. But how could they forget? This was Deet they were talking about, kind, brave, gentle Deet. He couldn't imagine a force in Thra that would compel her to harm an innocent creature, let alone one of her friends. "I just know she would never do such a thing." And if they were in my place last night, they'd be sure too.
They knew nothing of the word they shared the previous night. He didn't feel right telling them. It felt too intimate. They were words he might have kept secret even from her if he thought she wouldn't reciprocate. But the drink and the dread of the coming battle possessed him and he asked her to pretend to love him, just to ease his grief and loneliness from a moment. It was a greater gift than he could imagine when she promised her love was real.
"Rian…" Mother Auhgra took him by the shoulder. "The road diverges here. If you choose the path that leads to Deet, take caution. It is true she is still there. Her light has not gone out. But that's not all she is anymore."
"Thank you, Mother Auhgra. I will head your advice. But as long as there is still a spark of Deet left in the world, I won't lose hope."
Mother Auhgra nodded and gave him a half-smile. There was a look of thoughtfulness on her face and her third seemed to see beyond the path before him. He knew from legend Mother Auhgra could all the paths gelfling could take and where they might lead. If this was true, and she didn't try to stop him, which he took as a good sign.
"And you, sir," he said, turning to Deet's father. "I promise you, and your husband too, that I will return your daughter safely to you.
"Thank you," her father said, tears forming in his eyes. "I can tell you've been a good friend to her. I trust you will do everything you can."
Deet's father then pulled Rian into an embrace. He couldn't help but feel some sorrow in his heart. He'd hugged his own father for the last time the night he died. Rian already had his last chance, but Deet hadn't, not yet, not for a long time. She would see her family again. He'd make sure of it.
The door to the Home Hearth opened and Seladon stepped out. "She's ready," she said, a grim look on her face. "You may tell the Stonewoods they can come in now if the wish to pay their respects."
"Respects?" Rian asked, breaking away from the hug. "Respects to who? What's going on?"
His friends all exchanged worried glances before Brea stepped forward to speak. "I'm afraid we have some grave news as well."
[-]
Rian looked down at his Maudra lying motionless on a table in her throne room. Around him stood the remainder of the Stonewood warriors. Seladon let the Stonewoods in first to pay their respects before the other glelfing.
The mood hung like a shadow over their heads. Maudra Fara had been their leader since the end of the Arathim Wars. She took the crown before she even came of age. She was strong-willed, just, and brave. More than that, she loved her clan above all else. Sadly, while she led a great many into battle, she was left with a much smaller number of mourners.
To Rian, though, she held a special place in his heart. She was a good friend of his father and he had the privilege of knowing her as more than their clan's leader. He got to peak behind the Maudra's stern demeaner and saw Fara's softer side. He watched her tease his father and have a laugh at the great warrior's expense, one of the very few who could. When she visited the castle, she always made time to check in on him and ask how he was. Her love for her people showed in the time she gave to each one of them, even a childling growing up away from his clan.
Truly, they would never see another like her again.
Which left one question hanging over them all. "Had she chosen an heir?" Rian asked, looking down at his Maudra's quiet face.
She died without children, and so, she would have chosen a successor to carry on if the worst should happen. Which it did.
The Stonewoods behind him were silent, save for some uncomfortable shuffling. He looked to Seladon, who shook her head. "We received no record of this in Ha'rar."
"Where's her lead advisor?" he asked, turning to the other Stonewoods.
"That would be Cohl," one of the Stonewoods answered. "They evacuated with the other non-combatants."
"And her guard Captain?"
The Stonewood shook his head. "One of the first drained, sir."
His heart twisted. Of course. It made sense. Take out the clan's leadership first, leave the maudra alive to keep the rest of the clan in line… Great Thra, he hated that he could think like them. "So who's in charge here?"
They met his question with expectant stares. He looked them over. They were foot soldiers and a few lieutenants. They were used to taking orders or relaying decisions to their higher-ups. None were prepared for command. But the answer in their eyes was obvious.
After all, they answered his call. They followed his plan. They fought in his battle.
"It can't be me, so who is it?!"
His outburst echoed off the walls. The Stonewoods shifted, exchanging glances. Their answer hadn't changed, despite his protest, and he couldn't blame them. No Maudra, not captain, and no advisors. Who else was there?
After some more non-committal shifting, Seladon spoke up. "Who is your fastest rider?"
One of the Stonewoods stepped forward. "I am, Maudra." Finally, an answer.
"Go to the place where the non-combatants are hiding and bring them news of Maudra Fara's death. The lead advisor should act as leader of the clan until a new Maudra is selected according to your clan's customs."
"More than one should go," Rian added. "The Skeksis may have retreated for the day, but there's no telling what they might have lurking in the forest."
As the Stonewood warriors decided amongst themselves who should go, Rian turned to Seladon and tried to convey his thanks in his eyes. She nodded and smiled slightly in return.
Once a decision was made, the Stonewoods split into two groups, those who would escort the non-combatants back to Stone-in-the-wood, and those who would prepare Maudra Fara's funeral ceremony. They left to carry out their duties, leaving Rian and Seladon alone in the throne room.
"She shouldn't be buried until the rest of the clan returns," Rian said, turning back to Maudra Fara. "She'll want to say goodbye to all of her children."
"Of course." Seladon said, approaching Fara's body. "She was a titan. A fighter to the end."
"Yes…" Rian couldn't stop staring at her still face.
"We must fight in her place," she continued, placing a hand on his shoulder, "now that Thra has called her home."
"Killed by the Skeksis, you mean," he seethed. That little flare of anger was the first emotion to penetrate the numbness he felt since stepping in the room. He felt strangely sober, despite the circumstances. His Maudra lay dead before him and his eyes were shockingly dry. Perhaps he simply ran out of tears to shed. But a tiny flame of fury flickered in his heart like a candle in a fog. It could weaken and die or grown strong enough to burn down the whole world. Only time would tell which.
"Can I ask, why can't you lead until a new Maudra is selected?" Seladon said. "You led the battle, after all. Your clan seems to respect you."
Today they do. He shook his head to cast the thought away. "You weren't out there when I explained." He went on to tell her about Deet's disappearance. "I made a promise that I would find her and bring her back safely. I can't break that promise."
Seladon listened quietly, no judgement on her face. When he finished, she nodded. "I understand. I'll see to it that Fara is properly returned to Thra and a new Maudra is crowned."
"Thank you. I appreciate your help," he said, wishing there were words strong enough to convey his gratitude. She truly had no idea how much it helped him to know he was leaving Fara in capable hands. "I should say my goodbyes now. I won't be able to stay for the ceremony."
"I'll leave you alone, then." Her hand brushed his back one more time. "Take all the time you need."
Seladon walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her. The sound echoed off the walls. He looked down at Fara again. She still looked proud and strong, despite everything. He waited for words to come to him, but there were none. Strange how, now that he had time to say goodbye, he couldn't think of what to say.
Say what's in your heart, a sweet, familiar voice reminded him. A half smile tugged at his lips. He opened his mouth and started talking.
[-]
That night, Rian returned to his grandmother's house to prepare supplies for his journey. He took a bow and quiver full of arrows from the armory, as well as an extra sword, just in case. While he knew the woods well enough to survive on the plants that grew there, he also took some warrior's marching bread and an extra water skin.
As he was running a whetstone across one of the swords, there was a knock at the door. "Come in," Rian called, expecting one of his friends. Instead, Deet's father entered the room.
"Sir," Rian said, setting his sword aside and jumping to attention. "Is there something I can help you with?"
"I was just hoping to talk to you," the older gelfling said, joining Rian in the living room.
"Of course, sir."
"Lath'N" Deet's father answered. "You can call me Lath'N. There's no need to be so formal."
"Alright, Lath'N," Rian said, inviting him to sit down. "What can I do for you?"
"I just wanted to thank you for looking after my daughter," he said sitting beside Rian on the sofa. "I'm glad she found such a good friend on the surface."
"It's Deet who's been a great friend," Rian said, feeling a warmth in his cheeks. "I'm only doing what she would have done for me."
"That is good to hear," Lath'N said, looking over the supplies on the table. "I see you're preparing for your journey."
"Yes, I plan to leave as soon as the first brother rises. Don't' worry, I'm a good tracker and I know these woods well. I won't lose her."
"I have faith in you." The older gelfling's eyes lingered on Rian's face. "Forgive more saying this, but you look tired."
"Well, I did fight in a battle today. And trained with some the fighters this morning… almost died a time or two…" he trailed off. So much had happened, it felt like weeks had passed. It was hard to believe that, just this morning, he woke up with Deet in his arms.
"And that was all just today," Lath'N said, summing up Rian's thoughts. "But I didn't mean like that. You look a different kind of tired. It's not fair, really. You're too young to look this tired."
"A lot's happened in the last…" He stopped as he tried to count the days in his head. How long had it been? Everything was starting to blur together.
Lath'N reached to the table and picked up the sword Rian was sharpening. From the way he held it, Rian could tell it wasn't his first time holding a blade. "Fine sword you've got here. What kind of steel is it?"
"I don't really know. I lost my sword the first time I fought the Hunter. This is a spare Naia and Gurjin brought me from the castle… Or, is this the one I took from the Circle of the Suns? Or the armory? Been through a lot of swords lately. Do you know about smithing?"
"Just tangential stuff you pick up through training."
"Training?" Rian asked. "But, Deet told me her fathers were nurloc farmers."
"I am now," Lath'N laughed. "But in my younger years, I was a castle guard."
"You? Really?" Rian let out a small laugh as well. "Forgive me but, there have only been about a dozen Grotton guards in history."
"That's true." Lath'N smiled and extended his hand. "Meet number twelve."
"It is an honor, sir." Rian shook his hand vigorously. "You must outrank me."
"I doubt it. I left when I was still young."
"Oh, may I ask why?"
"Well, when I joined, I was young, with dreams of adventure. It turned out to be quite different from what I expected."
Rian nodded. "It might sound strange coming from me, but the castle could be very dull." He'd heard similar things from guards who'd come and gone. He'd tell them, 'if you want adventure, you should join the Sifa.' Most coming in didn't realize how boring the castle was. Gurjin, who joined because 'they say nothing ever goes wrong at the castle', was the only one who had a different answer.
Lath'N laughed. "Yes, but that's not what I meant. There were things I liked about it, like meeting gelfling from all the different clans. But everyone was so on-edge all the time, and always so formal. It was very different from Grot. We're a small clan, so it's more like a big family. We're more laid-back and friendly."
"That sound's nice," Rian mused. Although 'laid-back and friendly' hardly described his family…
No that wasn't entirely true. His grandmother, for example, was always kind and comforting. And she told him funny stories from when his father was a kid, which was a plus. Then there were the times when he was young and his mother was still alive, and they all lived in a little house on the edge of the village. He remembered how his parents would smile and laugh together. How his mother would teach him old gelfling songs. How he'd watch his father practicing drills in the yard and how his father would invite him over to try the moves. How sometimes, on a quiet night, his mother would read him a story, usually and old gelfling folktale, and he'd look up to see him father smiling at them, just content to watch them exist.
It would be nice to have that again, but, it seemed like an impossible dream.
"The thing I think I disliked the most," Lath'N continued, "was that, when you were out on escort duty, you had to hold yourself above the other gelfling, like you weren't just like one of them."
"I know what you mean," Rian said. Lath'N general assessment was right. Life as a guard was not only dull, but tense. You weren't a gelfling when you were on duty, but the Skeksis' hands. You were meant to do their bidding without question. But they made it seem like it was a privilege to be serving them, like you were a step above everyone else. And that's exactly how they've been fooling us for a thousand trine.
"I grew up in the castle," Rian went on. "There wasn't a lot to do as a childling. I was always getting into trouble. But you're right. I was always on edge. I always had to be out of the Skeksis' way. If I was too much of a bother, they might have had me sent from the castle, away from my father."
Lath'N's face looked grave. "That's a terrible burden for a child to bare."
Rian almost didn't know what to say. Lath'N's sad, disappointed eyes bored into him. He wasn't disappointed in Rian, but in the circumstances of Rian's childhood. No child should be forced to grow up as lonely as you did, they seemed to say.
Rian's heart tightened and he forced out a laugh. "It wasn't all bad. The guards mostly treated me like a little brother or cousin. And, when I got old enough, my father gave me sword fighting lessons every morning. Plus, I got to spend my summers in Stone-in-the-Wood. It was a lot like how you described Grot. The villagers were usually friendly and welcoming. At least, I had other children to play with."
"You know, you light up when you talk about Stone-in-the-Wood."
A soft, genuine smile came to his face. "I've made a lot of fond memories here." Even just last night, he thoughts as he remembered the feeling of Deet's lips of his.
Lath'N gave him a curious look. "And yet, when you came of age, you stayed at the castle as a guard."
"Of course." The comment surprised him. No one ever questioned his decision to join the guard, not even Rian himself. It was what he was always supposed to do, what was expected from him. "My father was the captain for most of my life. I was to follow in his footsteps."
"Seems to me you have. He was a great hero, was he not? And now, so are you."
"That…hadn't occurred to me…" It was true, come to think of it. Victory crumbled to ashes so quickly, he hadn't had time to process what happened. But, all those gelfling who came up to him and congratulated him, they must think so. Although, he was not the one who dealt the final blow. "Deet's the real hero. She's the one who sent the Skeksis running. Even before that, I never would have made it this far without her."
"Deet is something special," Lath'N said with a wistful smile on his face.
"Yes," Rian agreed, a smile growing on his face as well. "Very special."
"As are you," Lath'N said, putting his hand on Rian's shoulder. "Not everyone could go through all you have and come out the other side still standing, let alone continuing to fight."
"I must." Once again, Lath'N surprised him. Of course he was still fighting. What else was there to do? "We're at war now and it's a war I started, so I better finish it."
"You can't blame yourself for this."
"It's true through. I'm the one-"
"Are you the one responsible for a thousand trine of Skeksis rule?" Lath'N asked in a surprisingly firm voice. "This war was a long time coming and the fight is bigger than any one gelfling. I believe there's an old Stonewood saying. 'There are times when the blade is necessary.'"
"Yes, and this is one of those times. But there's more to that saying. 'The hand that wields the blade cannot help the fallen to their feet.'"
"So, you put your blade side when the fighting is done."
"That's right," Rian sighed, looking at the sword on the table. "What are you getting at?"
Lath'N looked at him with his gentle eyes. "I only wonder if this is the life you would have chosen for yourself, if you had the choice."
Words lodged in his throat. What would he be if none of this had happened? If he was never a guard? If the Skeksis never came to Thra? His whole life was so tied up with the guard and Skeksis and now the rebellion, it was hard to imagine anything else. His life would be completely different. Thra would be completely different. But, was there any point in wondering? The war had begun. The Skeksis needed to be dislodged if the gelfling were ever to be free. "It hardly matters now." He may not get to choose but, if they won, future generations might.
"Still, it's something to consider," Lath'N said, picking up the sword to inspect it again. "When you set your blade aside, Rian, what will you do?" He put the sword back on the table. He then said his goodbyes, wished Rian best of luck, and left him alone.
Rian went back to preparing for his journey, but his eyes kept lingering on his sword and Lath'N's question stuck in his mind. Should they win, should the Skeksis be defeated for good, should the gelfling finally have peace, what would he do? Could he set his sword aside? Could he find something else to do with his life, something he truly wanted?
They needed to win first. The war had to be fought. They were being hunted and killed. The Skeksis would wipe out all gelfling if they could. They needed to save Thra, as well as all gelfling-kind.
But, after that, if they won, Rian may, finally, have a choice.
[-]
The first brother had just cracked the horizon when Rian began his journey. Pure exhaustion was the only thing that allowed him to sleep that night. His mind was too full of dread to give him pleasant dreams, but, luckily, there were no nightmares either. Just a night of blessed, dead-to-the-world slumber. It was the best he could hope for, but it didn't compare to the night before, holding Deet close and warm, his face nestled in her soft hair… It was only one night but the bed still felt empty and cold without her.
He stepped outside. A thin layer of fog hung in the chilly early-morning air. A few remnants of battle lay scattered on the ground. The streets were empty, but not like they were when he and Deet first arrived. He could walk through the village, knowing the gelfling were sleeping safely in their beds, or at least under the roofs offered to them. He was leaving this place full of life, but only for now. I'll be back, he promised himself. And I'll be back with Deet.
As he made his way to the edge of town, a voice broke through the morning silence. "Thought you could give us the slip, eh?"
Rian's heart lifted at the sound. He turned to see his friends gathered behind him. "What are you all doing up so early?" He hurried back to them with a smile on his face. "You're not planning on coming with me, are you?"
He was of two minds about that. On the one hand, he appreciated the support and the company. Plus, traveling in a group would be safer, should they run into any trouble. But, he needed to travel light and move quick if he wanted to catch up to Deet. Besides, the other gelfling would need leadership if they were to defeat the Skeksis for good.
"No," Seladon clarified. "There's too much to do while the Skeksis still reign."
"And someone needs to make sure the clans are still standing when you get back," Naia added.
He nodded. Of course, Deet was only one mission in this great game. They each had their own paths to follow. He could only hope they'd all lead back together again.
"We wanted to see you off," Kylan said. "And wish you good fortune on your journey."
Gurjin smiled. "And you didn't really think you could leave without saying goodbye, did you?"
"Thank you, all of you," Rian said, his heart full. "I know we all have our parts to play. I wish you all good fortune as well and that, someday, we will all meet again in happier times."
"I wanted to give you this." Brea stepped forward and handed him a little leather-bound book.
"Your journal? Are you sure?"
"I've written a lot about Thra's history in there. The Skeksis have tried to stamp out much of it, but I want to restore it to all gelfling. Knowledge can be a powerful tool against a cunning foe. I hope it will help you on your journey."
"Thank you. I'll make good use of it."
"I know you will." Tears welled up in Brea's eyes and she pulled Rian into a hug. "Bring her back."
"I will," he vowed, his resolve hardening even more.
"You'd better," Gurjin said, his smirk doing a poor job of hiding his fears. Rian transferred from Brea's arms to Gurjin's. "Watching you make a fool of yourself over a gelfling you fancy is one of life's greatest joys."
Rian let out a breathy laugh. "There'll be plenty of time for that." He'd wonder how Grujin knew, but they'd been best friends long enough to become familiar with each other's subtleties. He was sure Gurjin could read him as easily as he could read Gurjin.
His best friend released him and Naia stepped up next. "Deet's a sweet girl," Naia said, hugging him. "If you let anything happen to her, I'll have your head."
"I'd deserve it," Rian answered.
When Naia was finished, Kylan took his turn to embrace Rian. "I know you'll do everything you can to keep her safe but remember to keep yourself safe as well."
"I'll try."
He stepped away from Kylan and found himself faced with Seladon. She was their All Maudra now, but in that moment, she looked shy and nervous. He could understand why. Most of them barely knew her. She was summoned to the Crystal with them, but she refused its first call. Their little band of friends had been through so much together. Perhaps she felt like an outsider.
She stepped forward but made no move to embrace him like the others did. "When you find Deet, tell her…" she cast her eyes downward, "tell her I'm sorry for treating her so poorly when we first met."
"You'll be able to tell her yourself." He strode forward and embraced her. "I swear it." Whatever mistakes she made in the past, she fought alongside them in their battle again the Skeksis. She was his sister in arms now. If they were to ever win the war, they needed to stay together.
The hug ended and he stepped back to see the sad smiles on their faces. He was grateful for them all. Their seeing him off was not only a testament to when great friends they were, but to how much they all loved Deet. "Thank you, all of you. When we next meet, I'll bring happier news. I promise."
"I'm going to hold you to that," Gurjin smirked. "Go on, now. Go be a hero."
Rian took one more look at his friends, then turned to head out of town. They called out their final farewells to him. Each one filled his heart with hope as he disappeared into the Endless Forrest.