To Stinky: Love your name that is how I call my gf sometimes :') and yeah I will give my best and will give you heads up as soon as I will start on it.
''I am not breaking up with you.''
Santana frowns in confusion seeing the hurt in Brittany's normal bright blue eyes and bites her lip. ''I don't understand.'' She whispers uttering the confusion she feels, Brittany sighs squeezing her hand softly and bites her lip.
''Talk to me San, what is going on in that pretty little head of yours?''
Santana shrugs her shoulders and gulps. ''Well apparently I am not the girlfriend you expect me to be, I tried to do what a good girlfriend would do but you didn't want that and I don't know why.''
''I don't expect anything from you Santana.'' Brittany murmurs softly, she squeezes her hand softly and sighs. ''Well the only thing I want is for you to tell me whenever something is bothering you or if I do something you don't like.''
''But what about all the other tasks a girlfriend has to do?'' Santana asks frowning in confusion slowly looking up into blue orbs filled with hurt, Brittany takes a calming breath and shakes her head.
''Santana a relationship isn't based on tasks.'' She murmurs slowly, she squeezes her hands once again and sighs softly. ''A relationship is based on mutual feelings, on trust, communication, support, respect, honesty and yes also on sexual activity but only if we both are ready for it not because you feel forced or obligated to do it.''
''But you…'' Santana tilts her head trying to find the right words and shrugs. ''You are turned on and it's my job to satisfy you right?''
Brittany closes her eyes taking a deep breath through her nose and slowly shakes her head. ''No it isn't Santana, yes making out with you had that effect on me but it is not your job to finish it if you aren't ready for that yet.'' She runs her thumb over the back of her hand and sighs softly. ''I will never force you to do something you aren't ready for yet Santana, in this relationship you can decide the pace and even if it takes months for you to get to that point I will wait.''
She reaches up cupping Santana's cheek and slowly tilts her head up, she smiles sadly as her eyes lock on emotional brown orbs and slowly runs her thumb over her cheekbone. ''In this relationship you have just as much to say as I do, even more because of little B. I will never force you to do something you don't want to do sweetie and whenever you feel pressured please talk to me or just tell me to fuck off, we will go at your pace so you are comfortable San there is no rush alright?''
''Fuck, I am really damaged.'' Santana murmurs softly realizing she just compared Brittany to her exes, she shakes her head and sniffles. ''Sorry Britt-Britt, you don't deserve all of this.''
''No you are not damaged Santana, those fuckers who used you are to blame not you.'' Brittany states determined, she keeps their eyes locked and bites her lip. ''You also don't have to apologize for anything sweetie, if we want this relationship to work we have to communicate which we do now.''
''Yeah but after I almost jumped your bones because I thought you wanted me to.'' Santana states frowning, she slowly shakes her head and sighs sadly. ''I compared you to my fucking exes even though I told myself to not do that, I can see that it hurt you Brittany how can you still be so nice to me?''
''You didn't hurt me Santana.'' Brittany explains softly, she slowly intertwines their hands and sighs. ''It just hurts me to see just how much those fuckers played with your mind.'' She lifts her hands up to her mouth and kisses the back of her hands softly. ''Will you do me a favor?''
''What?'' Santana asks softly.
''Tell Mrs Pillsbury what happened tonight.'' She smiles reassuringly as her eyes widen in panic and bites her lip. ''Just to hear what she says sweetie, we are talking about it now and I am not angry at all but maybe Mrs Pillsbury has something more to say that eases your mind.''
''I will call her tomorrow.'' Santana murmurs softly as she realizes that Brittany is right, she looks down at their intertwined hands and gulps. ''I am sorry Britt-Britt.''
Brittany slowly stands up and sits down on the bed next to her as she feels her knee throb, she slowly pulls her in her arms and kisses the top of her head. ''You have nothing to be sorry about sweetie, I will try to reword my sentences so it doesn't send you back to the past.''
Santana immediately shakes her head and quickly tilts her head up to look at her. ''No please don't, it wasn't what you said.''
''Not?''
''No it was more the look in your eyes the clear sign that you were turned on, I just felt the need to do it.''
Brittany bites her lip and sighs softly. ''You don't have to feel like that though, I don't want to rush this, us.''
''I don't want that either.'' Santana murmurs softly, she looks down at their intertwined hands trying to settle her racing mind and bites her lip. ''This is all quite new to me and I know it will take a while, even though I don't want to lose you I also don't want to ask you to wait because it will take a while.''
Brittany shakes her head pulling her closer and kisses the top of her head. ''We have all the time in the world sweetie, I am not going anywhere.''
''But, don't you have needs?'' Santana asks curiously looking up at her with an eyebrow raised, Brittany sucks in her lips the tip of her ears turning red at the blunt question and hums softly.
''I um.''
Santana bites her lip noticing the blush appearing on Britt's cheeks and smiles slightly. ''Shit, too blunt?''
Brittany chuckles and slowly shakes her head. ''Just caught me of guard.'' She rubs the back of her neck and shrugs. ''You are worth waiting for Santana and even though we have certain needs it is a while back for me too and I am more than okay with going slow.''
''Really?'' Santana asks shocked, she pulls back turning around to look fully at her and bites her lip. ''But you are fucking hot, what is it a while ago for you?''
Brittany shrugs her shoulders and smiles slightly. ''Alright first of all thank you, I can only give that compliment back because you are insanely gorgeous San and um you forgot that I was overseas the past three and a half years?''
Santana watches her take a sip of the water bottle placed on her nightstand and gulps. ''Fuck yeah I kinda forgot shit but what if it isn't like you expect, what if I suck or am that bad that you want to break up with me?''
''Whoa hold up.'' Brittany exclaims, she places the water bottle down and intertwines their hands tilting Santana's head back up as she hears the insecurity come back full force. ''San sweetie, I won't break up with you because of that and I am sure that you won't suck.''
She licks her lips trying to ignore the awkwardness between them and pulls Santana back in her arms. ''Damn San you don't even know what you do to me, you already have such an effect on me that it scares me sometimes.''
''What do you mean?'' Santana asks curiously, Brittany bites her lip slowly lifting their intertwined hands and places the tip of Santana's fingers against her pulse point.
Santana tilts her head in confusion feeling the slow steady beat beneath her fingertips and raises an eyebrow. ''What..''
''Kiss me.'' Brittany murmurs softly cutting her off, she smiles slightly as Santana just raises an eyebrow and keeps a hold on her wrist keeping her fingers in place. ''Trust me, I want to show you something.''
Santana slowly leans in still confused and slowly captures Brittany's lips with her own, she hums in surprise as she feels the steady thump under her fingertips quicken and tilts her head deepening the kiss.
Brittany wraps her free arm around Santana's waist moaning softly as her tongue slides past her lips and pulls back as she gasps against her lips as her pulse quickens, she leans their foreheads together and bites her lip. ''Only you have this effect on me San.''
''Damn, your heart is racing.'' Santana breaths out feeling the steady fast thumps against her fingers. ''Why?'' She asks softly as Brittany just hums, Brittany smiles lovingly cupping her cheek and pecks her on the lips.
''You just have that effect on me San, since the first day we met I felt a pull towards you and wanted to keep you away from any harm. I couldn't place the strange feeling I had at first, until Puck and Cedes opened my eyes and made me realize that my feelings for you are going way past those of friendship.''
''I felt that pull too, the second we locked eyes after you introduced yourself I immediately felt safe and I also noticed your eyes sliding over to her and noticed the warning spark brightly after you noticed me flinch.''
''Yeah you tried to hide it but I noticed that something was off, after Q and Em told me what happened and left for the night Puck had to lock the door to keep me inside.'' She shrugs her shoulders as Santana looks up at her in shock and bites her lip. ''I hate it when friends get hurt and would walk through fire for them, but for you the feeling is so much stronger and I would do everything to make sure that you and Bella are safe and happy.''
''We are both happy whenever we are with you, you make me happy Britt-Britt and Bella adores you.'' She leans their foreheads together and bites her lip. ''I am falling fast and hard for you and that scares me a bit, I never felt like this before and I know that I can trust you but there is also the graduation problem in a few months and me moving away with Bella to go to college.'' She whispers her voice cracking as all thoughts that she tried to push back come to surface.
''I am afraid of what will happen after I graduated, I don't want to lose you but I also want to get a good degree to give Bella the life she deserves.'' She breaths out her voice cracking. ''I never felt like this before either but I am also afraid that this bubble will burst and that you will find someone who you deserve, someone who can treat you the way you deserve to be treated and not someone who is so broken and has nothing to her name.''
''San.'' Brittany starts softly, Santana shakes her head and gulps tears filling her eyes.
''You already did so much for me and I am forever grateful and also love every date we went on and the fact that I am your girlfriend now, I.'' She pauses biting her lip and slowly wipes away her tears. ''I am afraid of what will happen in a few months, a lot can happen and those thoughts currently haunt me at night.''
''Santana.''
Santana shakes her head her mind racing not noticing Brittany trying to talk and sniffles. ''I talked to Mrs Pillsbury about it and she told me that even though the thoughts are normal that I have to talk to you about it which I do now, but I am so god damn scared of the unknown that I just don't know if I can be the girlfriend you think I will be knowing that it might be over soon.''
Brittany gulps seeing the heartbreak in the brown orbs she loves so much and cups Santana's cheek, she shakes her head as she continues rambling and leans in capturing her lips with her own effectively cutting her off.
She slowly pulls back as she feels Santana cup the back of her neck her breath hitching and pulls back leaning their foreheads together. ''I can understand that the unknown scares you, but I won't break up with you after you graduated sweetie.''
''But, the distance.'' Santana murmurs softly, Brittany shakes her head and smiles slightly.
''Do you remember what I told you how long I am staying here in Lima and why?''
''Because of Emily and that you will follow her to the city she moves to after graduating.'' Santana breaths out sniffling, Brittany nods her head and slowly reaches up wiping away Santana's tears.
''Exactly and the four of you decided to move to the same city after graduation, you won't lose me San.''
Santana sniffles gazing into her bright blue eyes and sniffles. ''How can you be so sure that we won't break up?''