Team SALTY
Ash Trailer (Ash's Intro)

A portal materialized for a moment before spitting a small pink kitten onto the ground. Looking around the forest he now inhabited, a voice that did not belong to a kitten filled the clearing.

"The fuck did he mean I'm not in Pokemon!?"

The darkness between the trees seemed to intensify at this, issuing forth a masked wolf made of shadows. The wolf walked menacingly towards the kitten before being speared by a sword that seemed to form from nothing.

"Well, at least Illusion works like I thought, and that was either a grimm or a hollow."

The kitten sighed. "I know almost nothing about either of those fandoms..."

Captain's Log, Star date; Two years since Insert

After fighting off numerous Grimm and surviving off the land in a forest for ages I finally found the edge of the woods. This was managed by giving up and actually flying, only to find that I had been only a few miles away from a cliff on the coastline the entire time. Travelling along the cliff I was finally able to confirm that the world I am trapped in is RWBY since the school Beacon was under construction. Plans have been made for a few… Additions to the school.

...Alright, fine, I'm adding a mysterious shrine under the school to troll Ozpin. I can probably pull off having it intersect with the vault without actually intersecting, I've gotten good enough with my attempts to copy my Pocket Room for that at least.

Currently I've been hanging around the construction area as a Zorua, subtly helping people. I think they've started some odd rumors about a lucky fox…

~RWBY; A frontier. These are the stories of the Mew Ash. His continuing mission; to explore this new world. To learn things beyond his world. To boldly troll where none have trolled before.~

Dear Diary,

Finally got my Aura unlocked but my semblance remains nonexistent. Adding Aura to my moves and abilities seems to make them react to semblances like they are moves and abilities. First thing I tried was Sketch, it worked…

This would be better if most of the semblances about were stronger, but the best I've found so far is basically a carbon copy of Shadow Clones. I remember a lot of people have clone-type semblances in the show, it's probably because the guy I got the clones off of acts like a stereotypical Bard.

The shrine has been incredibly successful, it resembles Celebi's Ilex forest shrine, but at the center of a pool in a cave with an opening in the top showing the moon. I've been opening paths to it during the two moon phases that seem to have replaced full and dark, that is full and broken. I even made different things happen depending on the phase. During a full moon I make use of Mirror Move, Future Sight, and Me First as well as copious use of Illusion to spawn a mirror copy of whatever hunter stumbles upon the shrine from the pool that they can fight. During the shattered phase I have the pool turn black like the Grimm pools and spawn a nearly endless stream of 'Grimm' made entirely of shadow. Said grimm are actually clones of mine using illusion.

The trials have gotten me an incredible amount of experience in all kinds of fighting, and if the hunters do well I leave them a prize depending on which trial. Full is a Sketched weapon that compliments their fighting style, the fancy shapeshifting weapons don't seem too advanced yet, so mine are usually better (though I really need to learn more about weapon creation). From the Cracked trial the prize is something I took absolute ages to develop, a Lunar Medallion, it's Lunar Dance in pendant form that'll automatically activate if someone's aura is drained. Luckily my strength regenerates quickly with a night's sleep so I can make one before bed each night.

Dear Self,

I am writing this letter in case you manage to temporarily wipe your memories with your new semblance… again. You do not have very many memories of RWBY canon so stop trying to recover them. Attempting to recover memories that don't exist is what did this last time, if you wait they'll come back, but until then I recommend watching Fairy Tail again. There's another ability called Archive there that we might be able to make with this.

-Ash

P.S. Don't go near Beacon without putting up a human illusion again, people are starting to make even more legends about Beacon's Fox.

P.P.S. The fridge has some berries and whatnot if you get hungry, don't forget to replenish it, hunting for food on an empty stomach isn't fun.

P.P.P.S. You already looked through Beacon for worthwhile Semblances to copy, hardly anyone has an ability that you don't already, the next place to check is the guy the Schnees are mad at for having a Semblance like theirs.

P.P.P.P.S. Stop trying to pull a Jason Bourne, it's getting annoying.

Dear Tom,

You were a lonely dork, right? How'd you deal with immense boredom.

'...'

Yes, I am going to keep calling you a dork, your plans were terrible and you were offed by a prophecy. Or a teenager. Not sure which is worse. Also I think most people would frown on manslaughter.

'...'

As someone that's closer to Faunus than Man I take exception to that! Besides I still haven't figured out magic since Ozpin never uses it.

'You really ought to socialize more. Preferably by bothering someone that isn't me.'

I socialize all the time, I even made a Zoroark Faunus illusion, or possibly transformation, so I can run the Beacon Black Market. Not to mention the shrine events I do.

'Being a shopkeep hardly counts, and your 'events' are just fighting people. And not even fighting them as yourself, you either send waves of Grimm at them or make a so-called 'Mirror Clone' that's just you abusing Mirror Move.'

It's still technically socializing, and fighting is one of the only forms of socialization most shounen protagonists use. Besides Mirror Combat is a perfectly valid tactic, not to mention how much it helps them improve.

'You know what I meant, and you aren't the protagonist. You are, at best, whatever Evangiline McDowell would qualify as.'

In that case socialization obviously isn't needed. At least I think, should probably rewatch those memories, maybe release a manga on it. Heaven knows Archive makes doing things like that easy now. Besides, back to the original argument, I'm talking with you, aren't I?

'Yes, talking with me, you don't see anything… Odd, about that?'

I talk with my clones all the time, a psychotic break writing back to myself in a diary is hardly different. That and I'm pretty sure you're a clone trying to mess with me.

'...Spoilsport'

It's a good idea though, but we should find better targets, like Ozpin. His reaction to not being able to find the Black Market was hilarious.

'Your classic 'products' have done great for that, maybe you should consider figuring out how to expand into Sketched items that have impossible abilities?'

I was thinking more along the lines of releasing Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings where Dumbles/Gandalf are obviously Ozpin, but your idea has merit as well.

To whomever finds this;

It has been forty years, I can't go on. It's been so boring recently, Ozpin has stopped reacting to most of my pranks, even painting Beacon lime-green didn't get more than a grimace and comment about color choices. At least his reactions to the items I'm selling in the Black Market are entertaining. Especially now that I've been going and stealing things from Atlas and other places to put up for sale, it was worth selling the prototype tank that cheaply just to see the look on his face when it was used during the annual tournament. Still things are rather boring and I'm almost out of anime to rewatch. All that's left is Magic Kaito 1412, hopefully that relieves the monotony…

Actually now that I've watched this my skill cards were Illusion and Thievery, I can probably pull that stuff off easily. I'll have to actually force people to beef up security though, the current stuff is abysmal. In the meantime, maybe the actual thieves have better security…

But I digress, if you've found th-

Past this point burning makes it impossible to read.

Snippets From A Random Mew's Blog

Uggggh, why did it take this long to get the internet working, it's been like sixty years, you'd think that with dust we'd figure this out earlier but noooooooo.

Turns out that keeping up with my favorite blogs while hunting grimm is a good way to nearly get eaten, I need to work on that.

Apparently nobody knows what a Mew is, turns out the game I found it in was all a dream. WELL WE CAN'T HAVE THAT! Making the game now, gonna call it Pokemon and everything.

Goddamnit, I just realized there are no pomegranates anymore. Pomegranate juice was my favorite drink. I'm gonna go cry for a bit…

I know we've had the Internet for more than ten years now, but it's still too soon for microtransactions. Gonna need to figure out who came up with them and kidnap them, wonder if I can outsource that…?

I might run The Black Market, but I'm not responsible for any of the poseurs making their own, much lamer, black markets. They're filled with inferior gear too. If anyone would rather go to my place I have Doors to it everywhere, just keep looking.

To those of you who think I'm somehow related to the odd man that appeared in front of a weather reporter, asked what year it was, and danced off after hearing the date a few years back you're sorely mistaken. Any resemblance is merely a coincidence and I did not steal my many corporate ideas from the future.

I feel like releasing Back to the Future now, no particular reason.

You know, for such a 'brilliant, high-tech' military city you'd think Atlas would have better security systems, I don't think anyone has so much as noticed me and I'm not even trying very hard.

Got an order for some swords made out of dust gems last week, apparently nobody thought to do dustgem sculptures/jewelry either. I would say I'm making an Etsy page about this, but Etsy doesn't exist either. Fixing that.

The man that looked suspiciously like me who appeared on the morning weather report, swore upon hearing the date, and vanished obviously couldn't have been me. I have alibis in no less than six separate places around the world. Simultaneously. So stop trying to insist I did it.

The Seolfors seem surprisingly on top of the list of things I'm pretty sure I dreamed, not to mention the merchandise. Too bad the Lightsabers don't cut, they look cool though.

I have found out that a Huntsman Academy called SCAM exists and I haven't been invited to teach. I find this offensive and will seek to remedy this immediately.

Apparently SCAM is owned by the Seolfors and they're paying with stock options, therefore I must immediately reverse my stance on microtransactions because I'm making money off of them.

To assuage rumors about my 'past self' appearing on the news again I have bought the news station and turned it into a laboratory for my nephew that looks a lot like me. I promise this is in no way suspicious.

There have been some questions about what I could teach, they didn't have anyone teaching thievery skills and how to apply them in combat. When I'm done the academy will finally live up to its name.

"Bzzzzzz Bzzzzzzz"

My ears twitch as I look down at the screen that popped up on Archive.

"Hmm, that time of year already. I believe this is the year Ruby is supposed to finally arrive as well."

Hopping up I stretch before my form wavers like smoke, collapsing in on itself until resolving into a tiny fox, the ears all that remain to identify who I was. Almost as an afterthought the umbrella that I was using as a staff hits the ground before popping into an orange hat and landing on my head. Giggling slightly at how awesome that must've looked I fade from sight in the office only to appear on the walls of Beacon, or Bacon as the sign still says, apparently they haven't bothered to change it back.

Hopping down I begin to pad through the halls of the school, nobody so much as batting an eye at my presence after all these years. Some of the rumors that popped up around that are incredibly amusing, I'm particularly fond of the one about me secretly being a teacher like professor McGonagall from Harry Potter. It's even technically true, though I currently have a clone subbing in for me at S.C.A.M. It probably doesn't hurt that I encouraged it by hardly ever showing up around Ozpin and hiding an orange hat in his office whenever possible.

Arriving at my destination I push open the door to the Teacher's Lounge and trot in, admiring the vaulted room overlooking the courtyard for all of one second before a teacher suddenly jumps from his position. Knocking his chair over in his haste the grizzled man's arm shifts into several with extend-o extensions, all of which shoot out for my head. Were I not expecting this he might have had some success with stealing my hat, as it was it took a use of Detect to prevent him from touching it. The various faculty members of Beacon watch this byplay as I seem to slip through his grabs, causing him to bang his head on the door, and take a seat on top of a nearby shelf, earning a tirade in full Scottish brogue.

"Gahdamn cheatin' vulpines, ah'll get a look at that mechashift one o' these days!"

"Now, now Mullberry, you know what happened last time you pushed it." Port chuckles,"anyways it seems our resident fox has arrived before Glynda for once. I do wonder what's keeping her?"

"I believe she mentioned something about Ozpin recruiting a new student or two and needing to put things in order." Ann, the redheaded stealth and security teacher, clarifies. "Heavens knows why, I think he might be set on having an extra team this year."

"Yes, that is part of why we're having this meeting." Oobleck pushes his glasses up and looks at the door. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt much to start now, Ozpin and Glynda should be more informed than any of us after all. Ann, I believe you have the files for the new students?"

Ann nods and begins passing out folders. "Yes, I know we talked about the students transferring in last meeting, but these are the students that have gone through nonstandard admission processes. I've included what Ozpin deigned to provide as well as what I could dig up on my own."

"Hold on a tick." Port begins, waving a folder labeled 'Jaune Arc'. "Wasn't this blighter in the other pile?"

Ann nods again. "Yes, well it seems Ozpin has asked us to ignore the obvious fakeness of the transcripts, thus I included it again so we can actually go over it instead of making fun of him."

I snort from the top of the shelf, I stole one of those and it's amazing how he thought the story would hold up under any kind of speculation. The achievements section alone read like what I imagine Gilderoy Lockhearts' books would be like.

"I suppose if he's incompetent he'll just get eliminated in the Forest." Ann sighs, "though I do wonder why he's insisting we do this instead of just tossing him in beforehand."

"Hah, it'll serve tha lad right fer tryin this." Mullberry laughs, "tha blasted fox'll save im if anythin too bad happens." He says with a glance in my direction, "what abou' this one, Seolfor I think."

Ann speaks up. "He and one Miss Schnee are both from influential families in Atlas, I'm rather surprised you haven't heard of their families."

"So they are from those families then, I assumed it was just a coincidence. Let's see Miss Schnee is homeschooled, and Mr. Seolfor is…" Oobleck pauses, "is it just me or is the school named Scam?"

"It is," Thumbelina Peach finally speaks up from behind the decorative centerpiece. "Though I'm friends with a few graduates and the education is anything but. While it may be company-run they offer an education comparable to Beacon." She considers something, "actually I don't know why either of them would be coming here, neither family traditionally goes outside of Atlas if they can help it."

"In both cases the families seem to want them to socialize more, additionally according to the transcripts each is a genius in their own right and they likely feel the need to show off." Ann speculates.

I attempt to shift and get a better look at the presumed transcripts only to sigh as they're shuffled away. Ahh well, I can always Snatch a copy later. Though I am curious about Seolfor, the boy seems to be avoiding me in my duties as a Professor of SCAM for some reason, it can't be my stellar reputation as a fair and just professor that in no way psychologically tortures his students. The fact that he's here is also odd since I don't remember a Seolfor in the first episode of RWBY at all, and with a resume like that there's no way he wouldn't be an important character. I would put it down to my interference, but nothing I was doing before seemed to affect plot characters, or if it did the world butterflied it away. Someone to keep an eye on in any case.

"Both of them already know their semblances, Miss Schnee has the usual Schnee Glyphs, however Mr. Seolfor has the ability to turn things into toys and back. Miss Schnee is seemingly quite accomplished with hers and Mr. Seolfor apparently tends to carry around an armory or two." Ann looks at Mullberry, "Mr. Seolfor also has an advanced Mechashift arm, you are not to bother him about it Mullberry."

Mulberry looks indignant, "now, does that sound like something ah'd do?"

The rest of the table simply deadpans at him then looks to me, I make sure to preen under the attention.

Mulberry shrinks back under their gazes, "fine, it willnae be ah problem."

Ann holds up a folder labeled Lorem Ipsum, "Next is a bit more interesting, Lorem seems to have been operating unofficially as a mercenary for years now. As far as I can tell he's a child from one of the lost villages that learned combat in the field. He just showed up one day at one of the outposts and has been taking odd jobs ever since. Ozpin managed to convince him to come here and get certified, ostensibly so someone so talented doesn't make a stupid mistake and die, though I think the argument he used was more along the lines of being able to charge more for his services."

Huh, I remember this guy, he stumbled into my shop awhile back and put in a request for some blades made entirely of dust crystal. They were fun to make and gave me the idea to stock sculptures made of dust crystal, though a lot of people tend to look at them oddly rather than buy them.

Oobleck is the first to finish going over the file, though he waits for the others to look up before commenting. "It seems that he has little need for most of us, for someone with no official license he appears remarkably competent."

Mulberry just laughs, "looks like we've got ah ringer in this year! Ah cannae hardly wait tah get ta see this semblance a' his."

Thumbelina nods along, "I must agree, it seems a tad unfair to the rest of them. Having someone like him on a team will definitely shift things in their favor."

Port takes a more considering look. "I don't think it will be any worse than having one of the geniuses on a team. Additionally it seems we will need to focus on teamwork rather more with him since by all accounts he has exclusively worked alone."

Ann nods, "something else to consider is how we might need him to sit out for certain team activities where he would vastly unbalance things, I have a few ideas on that, but they need to wait till we actually see the teams." She shuffles to the next folder. "Next up is Jaune Arc, I did a full background check this time and it seems he was not lying about his name. Though why an Arc would resort to such obviously forged transcripts…"

Thumbelina is the first to speak this time. "That is concerning, if he had changed his name I could see it being an attempt to distance himself from the name and accomplishments of his sisters. But this, I can't fathom why he would utilize such obviously forged transcripts."

Port is next to comment, "it could be that he was homeschooled in such a way that he has no transcripts? But no, even then it would be a simple matter for his parents to provide an overview…"

I tune out the rest of his speculation while thinking, this is the guy that doesn't have his aura unlocked, right? I might want to find him tonight and lead him to the shop so he can get something to prevent being nearly killed so much. I wonder, what would be a good item for him…

"The speculation is baseless until we actually meet the boy, now onto the final one." It seems discussion has concluded while I was considering things, Ann is currently holding the final folder."Yache Ruhm."

Glancing down at the folder I see what can only be a spider faunus, which is odd both because I didn't think spider faunus were a thing, and because she seems to have more than one animal feature. At least I know she's definitely new and not just unmentioned in the original story for some reason, someone like that is tier one protagonist material.

"Unfortunately we know almost nothing about her, Ozpin and Glynda have been rather tightlipped other than she was found in the forest and that she shouldn't be provoked. I do have a working theory as to why that last bit was important though."

At this Ann holds up her Scroll and shows a short video, in it the Emerald Forest seems to have quite a few new canyons. Also it appears to be slightly on fire. As we watch a Beam of rainbow light is shown making a new rift through the trees.

"As you can see, her Semblance appears to allow the use of some kind of Wave Motion Cannon. I recommend exercising caution during any training exercises and potentially giving her extra lessons on control should it become a problem."

With that slightly sobering note the meeting continues on into minutia I don't truly care about. I am left wondering at the direction things will go now that the Plot seems to have started. Ozpin and Glynda end up arriving a few hours late with news of new students, but that should just be Ruby so I take my leave to prepare for the coming storms.