When I blink my eyes open in the morning, it takes just a moment for everything to come back to me. Last night is a memory filled with more warmth and love than anything else I have ever experienced. Peeta and I together in the most complete way, me finally telling him how I feel. I slept through the night with no nightmares, and I think it's because I have genuinely never felt this happy. I turn my head and see that Peeta is awake. He is resting on his side, with his head propped up on his elbow. He's looking at me, and I can't come up with a better way to describe the expression on his face than just joy. Joy and peace.
"Hi," he says softly, running a finger along my cheek.
"Hi," I respond. "How long have you been up?"
"Not long, maybe 20 minutes." I look at his face and I can't help but smile. I swear his expression is so happy it's almost comical.
"What have you been doing?" I ask him, laughing just a little.
"Oh, just looking at you," he says, moving his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "Just looking at you, and taking in how beautiful you are, and thinking how much I love you. And remembering that last night happened, that it wasn't a dream."
"Definitely not a dream," I say, laughing.
"I know," he says, his voice a little quieter as he looks deeply into my eyes. "I've just dreamt about it for so long, doing those things with you, and hearing you say that. I almost can't believe it actually happened and that it's real."
"It's real, Peeta," I say. "Everything about it is real." I roll myself over and push him down onto the bed so I'm on top of him. I smile at him and he returns it with a stupid grin until I put my lips on his. He deepens the kiss by wrapping his arms around me so I am flesh against him. I slip my tongue into his mouth, and make a little moaning sounds as his hands cup my bare ass. We're still entirely naked from last night, and I can feel him start to grow hard against me. I'm not at all opposed to the idea of exploring each other again this morning. I was able to feel really good last night, even after the pain, and I can't fully imagine the type of ecstasy I might feel when we do it again and I don't have to work through the pain at the beginning. I'd like to find out.
I'm thwarted, however, by the sound of the door opening and shutting downstairs.
"Hello, hello!" Haymitch calls out loudly. "You still sleeping, lovebirds?" I groan and roll off of Peeta, collapsing back onto the bed and crossing my arms. Peeta laughs at me.
"I have my bow up here. Do you think if I shot an arrow down at him he might get the message and leave us alone?" I ask, mostly joking, although not quite entirely. Peeta laughs again.
"Yeah, probably," he says, starting to get up. "But I think it might be better if instead of killing him, we just make him breakfast." Peeta walks over to his drawer and starts pulling on clothes."
"I'd aim for the arm, he'd be fine in a couple days," I mutter. Peeta's laughter only increases. He's only pulled on his boxers so far, but he sees that I'm not getting out of bed and stops dressing so he can walk over to me.
"C'mere," he says, and before I fully process what's happening he's lifted me up and dangled me over his shoulder like a sack of flour.
"Peeta!" I shriek, laughing despite myself as I hang upside down. "Put me down!" He laughs and complies, dropping me off right in front of my dresser.
"Get dressed," he says with a grin, and I stick my tongue out at him before doing just that.
When we get downstairs, Haymitch is leaning up against my kitchen counter with a smug look on his face.
"Do I want to know why I just heard you squealing upstairs?" he asks me, raising an eyebrow. I say nothing. What Haymitch actually heard was completely innocent, but I know what he's implying and he's being obnoxious. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of an answer.
"Sorry, Haymitch. We overslept," Peeta says, bypassing the question entirely. He moves to make a pot of coffee, knowing that's a reliable way of appeasing Haymitch.
"Up late last night?" Haymitch asks us. His tone is innocent, but the look in his eyes is not. I glare at him and he laughs at me. I realize he had this same weird attitude when he left last night. I don't know how the hell he seems to have known what was going to happen before Peeta or I even had a clue. I do know that I don't like it.
"Yes," I say, keeping my voice casual but looking him dead in the eye. I know that in these sorts of situations, when Haymitch gets too proud of himself for figuring out some embarrassing piece of information, if I just blush and change the subject he'll take it as an admission of guilt and see it as a victory. He only gets uncomfortable when I respond with confidence and almost dare him to ask questions that he doesn't in reality want the answer to.
"Alright," he says, grabbing a coffee from Peeta and saying no more on the subject. I feel a little vindicated knowing my strategy has worked. Peeta's fixed me a coffee too and I take it from him gratefully while he goes to pull out some bread and jams. The three of us eat together at the table.
"Even though I seem to lose all purpose when I come into this house, I did actually come by for a reason," Haymitch says. I look at him and raise an eyebrow. "I was in town earlier and ran into Thom. He told me to tell you, Peeta, that the construction crew is going to be working on finishing up the structure of the bakery today, and that you'd be welcome to come watch or supervise if you want."
"Oh, wow," says Peeta. I can tell he is both excited but nervous. He wants to get started on really making the new bakery a reality, but building something new means that, to a certain extent, he's agreeing to leave behind what once was. It's the right choice; the bakery has already been destroyed beyond recognition. Building a new structure in its place, from which Peeta can carry on family recipes and bring joy to the people of 12 is a much better way to preserve the legacy. Still, I know it's not easy for him.
"We can go down together, if you want," I say, and he nods. I take a bite of my toast before another thought occurs to me. "Wait, Haymitch, you've already been into town this morning? That's so early for you." To my surprise, it's Haymitch's turn to avert his eyes and fumble over his words. Apparently he's not the only one who can stumble upon revealing information.
"Oh, uh, it was the geese," he says awkwardly.
"Really?" I say in a deadpan tone. "The geese made you go into town?"
"Well, not directly obviously. They were low on food and they were honking up a storm. I had to go pick some feed up." It's a stupid lie and it's really below Haymitch's normal level. If the geese were honking any more than usual, Peeta and I would have heard it. Usually Haymitch can think more quickly on his feet and is cleverer than this. I don't really know why he's so off guard, but I want to find out. He doesn't really give me the opportunity in the moment, though, because he heads back to his house soon after. Peeta and I finish up our breakfasts and coffee before making our way towards town. My hand doesn't leave Peeta's as we walk.
"So," I start. "How are you feeling about making progress on the bakery?"
"I...I think good," he says. "I mean, this is what I wanted when I decided to rebuild. I'm glad they're making progress, and I'm glad to be able to help. It's just strange, I think, because in some ways the further I get along in the process, the further away I feel from my family. From my dad. I think it's better to work on creating something new, something good. It's just going to be a little weird."
"I think that's a pretty good place to be, Peeta, all things considered" I say. "I mean, weird is completely normal in this situation. It's a big change, and it's sometimes going to be hard. But you're creating something wonderful and any step you take towards that goal is a step that will lead to more joy in our lives and in our district. I think that this in-between stage will be weird and hard, because you don't feel your family yet in the skeleton of a building. That makes complete sense. I think that once you've made this, though, and you're brightening up children's days with your baking, then you'll feel your dad a lot. You'll feel him in everything you do." I don't even know if my words made any amount of sense, but Peeta looks at me with an expression on his face like I've just delivered some sort of inspiring oratory.
"You know, you're better with your words than you like to give yourself credit for," he says, smiling. I roll my eyes.
"I doubt that. Maybe I just have lucky moments." He laughs, and soon we've reached the site of the bakery. The rebuilding crew seems to have made a good amount of progress since the last time we were here, especially considering how many different projects they have to split their time between. They've set up the framing for the whole structure, and it looks like they're working on finishing up covering the insulation and drywall.
"Hi," one of the men from the crew says, walking over to greet us. "My name is Mack, I'm the foreman on the team here. It's good to meet you." Peeta shakes his hand enthusiastically.
"It's great to meet you too," he says. "You guys seem to have done a lot of work already, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it." Mack smiles at him appreciatively.
"Our plan for today is to work on covering the exterior walls, so this thing can finally start to look like a real building. It's great that you're here, because we'd love your input on materials and other details, if you'd like to stay and watch."
"Yeah, I'd love to," says Peeta. "I'm happy to help with the actual construction too, if you want. I haven't built much before but I'm decent with a hammer and nails." Mack looks a little bit taken aback by this.
"It's totally fine, you don't have to."
"No, I mean, I don't want to get in the way of your crew, but if I won't interfere I'd like to help." I can see what Peeta's thinking right now. He doesn't want to just sit by and watch while other people work hard to help him. He wants to put in the work to build this himself.
"Well, then that's awesome!" Mack says. "Come over here, and I'll show you the basics." Peeta heads off with Mack to start working. I'm a little nervous, as some of the bricks and pieces of wood they're using look heavy, and I still don't want him exerting himself too much or doing anything that could hurt himself. I realize very quickly, though, that Peeta is absolutely in his element. He learns quickly, he jokes and laughs with the other members of the crew, he volunteers whenever help is needed and carries loads with no problem. He's visibly thrilled with his productivity. When the team breaks for lunch, Peeta and I head down to Sae's at the market, and even though he's sweaty and his shirt is streaked with dirt and dust, he's beaming.
"I really get why you've liked working on the medicine factory so much," he says. "It feels so good to finally be doing something. I don't think I fully realized how idle I've been feeling, but it's such a relief to be helping."
"It's perfect," I say, kissing him on the cheek. We eat stew at Sae's before Peeta eagerly heads us back to the bakery. I love it when he gets excited like this. I find it entirely too adorable. Once everyone is back from lunch, the crew finishes up most of the exterior. Peeta and Mack then look at a selection of sample materials to decide what he wants to use on interior surfaces, as well as discussing options for doors and windows. Peeta asks me my opinion, but I have genuinely no context for what is typical at a bakery, or what would look good. He seems happy with what they end up going with, though, and that's all that matters.
They finish up a little bit before dusk, and Peeta and I start heading back to Victor's Village. Even though I didn't actually do all that much, the day is strangely very rewarding. I feel like I watched a piece of Peeta come back together before my eyes. It's rare, after everything that we've been through, for there to be real tangible moments of healing. Getting this work done, feeling productive, taking real steps to ensure that his family's memory lives on; these things are helping to make Peeta whole. I'm realizing too just how much his happiness makes me happy. We are completely, inextricably linked.
"Thanks for indulging me today," he says, swinging our joined hands as we walk.
"I didn't even indulge you, I had fun," I say. "You looked so happy."
"I was," he says, which makes me smile. We reach Victor's Village, and I appreciate just how beautifully the primroses he planted me have bloomed throughout the spring and summer seasons. The vibrant yellow color of their petals reminds me of him. He's really brought so much joy into my life.
"Your house or mine?" he asks me, and I realize that in all of the events of last night, one of the things I needed to tell him entirely slipped my mind.
"Oh!" I exclaim, and he looks at me funnily.
"What?"
"Sorry, it's just, I forgot to tell you! Or, ask you, I suppose," I say. I'm suddenly somewhat nervous, even though I know I have no reason to be. Peeta and I practically live together anyways, if anything it'll be easier for him not to have to keep moving stuff between houses. "I...I want you to move in with me. If you want to."
"Really?" he asks, the look in his eyes one of thrilled disbelief. I nod.
"Yeah. I don't like being without you, and I want us to share our lives together," I get out. I sort of think it sounds stupid, but Peeta responds by kissing me.
"I want to share my life with you. Always." I smile against his lips before Peeta and I walk in together, through the same doorway we've crossed hundreds of times, but now for the first time into our home. Together.