Team SALTY

Chapter 1

Nine years after arriving on Remnant

It seemed like everyone was trying to figure him out, his origins, his abilities, whether he's single in some cases. It was honestly starting to get annoying, and the next person to ask him to join this organization or that before he finished waking up would find themselves having a bad time…

As he started to wake up there was a knock on the door, and when he answered it he was quite angry. That's how he came face to face with Professors Ozpin and Goodwitch. "Hello, may we come in? I'd like to ask a couple of questions." Grumbling, 'Lorem' let him in, they'd come all this way, might as well not be too rude.

"What are your questions? I've been asked about whether I've been at several locations, and I've never been to any of them." he deadpanned for what felt like the hundredth time. "If you're going to invite me to Beacon then I have to say I'm not sure I'd be a good fit. If you're going to insist, then let me finish waking up first."

Nine years and one day after arriving on Remnant

"Well I've been invited to Beacon…" he muttered to himself, sitting in his rented room in a hotel in Vale. He had intended to mess around in Fuyuki before the story started, so the only thing that really changed was the scenery and what he fought while waiting. "I've got a long year ahead of me, gonna try to get some sleep…"

The rest of the trip through the now ruined forest, outside of occasional howls that were immediately followed by groans and gurgles, was rather boring. Beacon Academy was beautiful, indeed, but even that was followed by more boredom as the three of them entered what was, apparently, Ozpin's office. It was also beautiful, at least as long as you liked the aesthetics of overly green clock towers with titanic gears, but it was both too big and too empty for Yache's tastes.

The only things that this office had plenty of were mugs and polite yet stern and rather tense talking. But in the end, the three of them or, to be more exact, the two of them and a rather annoyed observer came to an agreement. Yache would stay at Beacon for now, and would enroll in it to continue her education, at least in some way, while simultaneously preparing herself for the rather rough life on Remnant. The planet had little need of linguists after all. Unless, of course, Yache thought she might be able to converse with the Grimm.

Ozpin had been joking. When she said she would probably end up trying, Yache wasn't.

The other part of the agreement was that Yache would be allowed to use Beacon's halls to continue her magical education. While Ozpin freely admitted that he'd forgotten a lot about true magic through the ages, Yache privately thought that he actually meant he'd forgotten more about magic than most people had learned, but that was neither here nor there.

The gist of the matter was that she would be allowed to study at Beacon, both in general and to continue her magical self-studies, as long as she put effort in the former and had at least some oversight for the latter. In the end, her new life quickly stabilized into a sort of routine. Study for the entrance exam, something that had Glynda grinning sadistically, learn magic under the watchful eye of either the Wizard or the Dominatrix, and help the latter fix up the forest that she had inadvertently blown to smithereens.

Glynda Goodwitch was not having a good day. While Yache was never that good at telling people's emotions and thoughts through reading body language, the true meaning behind her eye's twitching was obvious even to the spider youkai.

"I told you that we would need a lot of earth," huffed Yache, putting the two wheelbarrows full of dirt down on the ground. "I'm pretty sure a lot of it was straight up vaporized into nothingness."

Twitch twitch. "I see," Glynda growled out, before using her semblance to fix at least some of the poor, broken forest. The part that hadn't been evaporated entirely and sent to forest heaven, at the very least. "This just became a lot harder if there's nothing for me to reassemble."

Yache was able to feel a tiny bit guilty, which for her might as well have meant she was bawling on the ground begging for mercy. "Sorry."

Yache's forays into the mysterious and forgotten art of magic were… enlightening, in many a way, even for such a historical figure like Ozpin. Most of the time, the results of her study were neutral, taking the slow and steady process of figuring everything out from the bottom. Other times, she did experiments. Some had… interesting results. Others, fun results. And sometimes, it was both.

Glynda's eyebrow was doing its best to tire itself out as she glared at the mass of magically conjured spider silk in front of her. It wasn't the first, nor the last, time where she wished that her Semblance was to burn things with a stare instead of telekinesis.

"Uhh… I think my instincts took over for a bit," Yache admitted in embarrassment.

"It is rather comfortable in here, all things considered," Ozpin muffled from inside the webbed cocoon that was originally supposed to be a hammock. That he wasn't supposed to be in, but apparently he also got caught up in the excitement of this experiment. "An excellent location within which one can decompress and… relax." And, judging by the long, 'relaxed' sipping sound, his mug of coffee-scented something was also somehow in there.

Glynda's eyebrow kept twerking in an attempt to jump off her face as Yache sighed and moved forwards. "Let's get you out of there, sir."

"I would be very grateful, Miss Yache. While it is quite cozy in here, I still have work to do. And I don't exactly look forward to having to mediate a spat between my Deputy and you."

Yache felt the nearly incendiary stare of Glynda trying to drill into her carapace and whimpered. Well, it was mostly a high-pitched grunt while she was busy unwrapping Ozpin like the world's most morally ambiguous Christmas present, but she'd long since accepted that she was not one to make situationally appropriate emotional reactions.

Even when one is a prodigy, and even when they're backed up by a nearly omnipotent extradimensional system that flat out declares them a prodigy by raw fiat, accidents still happen. Such was the price of knowledge. Theories that went unconfirmed, and in the process tore already confirmed parts to shreds. Experiments that failed to provide results, or worse. But for every fluke and failure, there was a success, a small step forward on the ever expanding path of science. And sometimes, these small steps turned into leaps.

Yache was walking around the construction, making final checks and searching out any parts of it she could tweak. Her usual observers, overseers and occasional rubber duckies were already behind the protective shield, just in case something went wrong. Ozpin even decided to leave his favourite mug back in his office, making do with his second favourite mug that was, to be entirely fair, essentially identical to the first one.

At last, Yache finished her final checks. She looked down at the scroll in her hands, making sure all of her calculations were correct for the umpteenth time, before sighing, putting the device down and pulling out the Mini-Hakkero.

All right… she thought, mentally walking herself through the process once more, just in case, the Hakkenshiro is currently in pre-launch standby. For the reaction to begin, it requires a spark of magic from eight major elements, combined into a single magical chain. She looked at the furnace in her hands. With a small expenditure of energy and some focus… the Mini-Hakkero growled, releasing a bright, short spark of magic, which was slowly modulated until it looked like a plasma cutter. The Mini-Hakkero provides the spark for the reaction.

Slowly and carefully, Yache turned the small furnace to the middle point of the construction in front of her. With a small application of directional force… the spark detached from the Mini-Hakkero, slowly floating towards the reaction containment "chamber" of the structure in front of her, which consisted of several concentric rings of various sizes.

The spark arrives at the reaction point, and the controls are released. With a visible drop of concentration on Yache's part the spark burst alight, causing the rings to immediately begin their rapid rotation as the machine struggled to contain the rainbow explosion in the middle. "And with the containment system online…" Yache mused out loud, a small yet perceptible grin forming on her face, "the reaction stabilizes, achieving self-sufficiency."

Her grin only widened as she saw the spheroid of magical power expand, fill out the reaction area and go into proper standby. If you had a keen eye well used to the flows of magical energies, you would have been able to see that this was not a simple spheroid. Instead, it was a Hypersphere, each slice of the fourth-dimensional sphere holding its own reaction, yet each one connected and interflowing.

If you had a particularly good understanding of magical energies, and an excellent eye, you would have probably noticed that the spheres weren't just mere spheres, even outside of the presence of a fourth dimension. Each part of the reaction, each three-dimensional spheroid-slice was heavily reminiscent of a Yin-Yang symbol, two elements locked in perpetual conflict, and yet perfect balance.

Yache couldn't help herself. She laughed, beginning with a mere giggle, and ending with a full blown cackle as she stood in front of what she'd created out of what amounted to weapon construction leftovers and simple figurines of silver and other magically conductive metals.

Eventually the laughter ran its course, and Yache looked on at the machine with a satisfied grin. "Victory," she concluded.

"Indeed it is," agreed Ozpin, having stepped out from behind the protective cover, admiring the mass of swirling, rainbow energy with an amused, yet knowing look. He couldn't help but think of the past, of all the mages from the ancient times that he once knew. Of all the breakthroughs a young mage could make during their early studies, the first one was always the most satisfying.

They stood there for almost a minute, either admiring Yache's handiwork, or reminiscing about the long-gone past. Finally, the silence was interrupted by the crack of the relatively young mage's knuckles.

"Alright then, now to shut this thing off without it exploding." And while she proceeded to go and do just that, Ozpin quickly retreated back behind the shield. Better safe than sorry.

"Kitsune's Log, Stardate… who the actual hell knows, Time, 7PM. I'm still bored."

"BORK!"

"Huey's bored too. I hope Ruby gets here soon, or I may just start flying over Vale and hunt Torchwick down myself. End log."

Toshika sighed and ended the recording of her scroll. "Gods, why do all the movies make stakeouts look fun? This is the most mind numbing thing I've done since staring at a wal-"

She stopped talking as she heard humming. Her fox ears tilted in the direction of the faint sound and she peered over the skyscraper she was camped out on top of.

"Huh. I didn't know Ruby could hum."

The little red reaper was all the way down the street, Crescent Rose on her back and cloak flying, as she literally skipped towards the Dust shop. While humming. Her theme.

With her headphones on.

"She actually listens to her own theme song when she's just out and about," Toshika deadpanned.

"BORK!" agreed Huey.

"Moreover, she has a theme song to listen to in the real world."

"BORK, BORK BORK!"

"She was not supposed to be capable of being more adorable. We are hitting adorable singularity levels at this point."

"BORK BORK!"

Ruby went into the shop. Toshika heard her greet the owner, then the rustling of pages a few moments later.

"Well, this is going to be fun."

It was only a few minutes later that a suited man in a bowler hat and assorted thugs entered the shop.

Toshika quickly put the stuff she'd taken out of her backpack back in and put it on both of her shoulders. She stretched, bending side to side, then rippled her tails one by one.

"You ready, Huey?" she asked, looking down at her Battle Corgi.

An expression she hadn't seen yet on him made itself known. If she wasn't wrong, that was the doggo version of anticipation of battle.

"Feel free to take out the mooks, but don't attack Torchwick," she commanded him.

He tilted his head to the side, tongue wagging.

"The guy in the bowler hat."

"BORK!"

"...You can pee on him though."

"BORK BORK BORK!"

He seemed to really like that.

Toshika's ears perked up as she heard the fated words come from the little red reaper's mouth.

"Are you… robbing me?"

"Showtime."

Toshika lifted herself and Huey up into the air, then moved them so they hovered above the entrance to the shop. There she waited. It could only be a few seconds.

The store's window shattered and Ruby tackled Mook 2 out in a somersault.

Then she stood up in an act of showmanship she could have only learned from Qrow as Crescent Rose slowly unfolded into its full scythe form, which she then planted straight into the asphalt. A moment later, she clicked her headphones off.

She actually put a slow mechashift mode into her gun for dramatic reveals. It wasn't just artistic license for the show.

Ruby is best Remnant girl.

"Okaaay…," Roman's voice came from the shop. "Get 'er."

What proceeded to occur was a glorious twenty seconds of red reaper kicking mook ass. Huey wouldn't have had an opportunity even if he had been down there. Ruby was damn good.

Toshika readily agreed with Roman after seeing their performance in what amounted to real life. Those mooks sucked.

"Well, Red, I think we can all say it's been an eventful evening."

"Huey, you may commence urinal bombardment," Toshika informed the Battle Corgi next to her.

Huey looked up at her, looked down at Roman, and lifted his leg.

"You are the best gods damned dog in the entire universe," she told him, grinning ear to ear.

Roman whipped up his cane as the stream began. "-and as much as I'd love to stick around-" he continued, popping up his scope, "I'm afraid this is where we part-"

That was as far as he got. Then the torrential stream of dog pee landed right on his bowler hat-clad head.

"GUH! WHAT THE?!" Roman shouted. He backed up a little, allowing the pee stream to actually drench his face, and spluttered in rage as he realized what it was. By getting some in his mouth. "WHAT IS THIS?!"

Roman looked straight up, revenge brewing in his eyes.

Ruby was loathe to take her eyes off of him, but she found herself looking up too.

They found a flying Faunus with nine tails… and a Corgi lowering his leg.

Roman had never looked as mad as he did in that second.

"Great aim, Huey," Toshika praised the Battle Corgi.

Huey looked prouder than she'd ever seen.

"YOU!" Roman shouted at her.

Ruby couldn't help herself. She was horrified as she realized what had happened, but also couldn't stop the giggles from escaping her mouth.

"My turn," Toshika said.

And with that, she stopped holding them in the air.

Roman whipped his cane up towards her and started firing, but she was falling too fast for him to track. She arrested her momentum just before she hit the ground, making sure to set Huey down gently as well, and landed in a perfect three-point superhero landing with her prosthetic leg doing the planting.

A ripple of purple starfield erupted out from her and enveloped Roman, tossing him at an extremely high speed into the sign of From Dust Till Dawn. The force was so much that he actually sank into the metal sign a little.

As Roman was slowly falling off the dent he'd made in the sign, groaning in pain the whole time, Toshika straightened up. "Red Reaper," she acknowledged Ruby with a tilt of the head. "Care for some assistance?" The question was rather moot as she had already interfered, but she found it amusing to say it anyways.

Ruby was gaping at her. "That. Was. So. COOL!" she squealed, almost dropping Crescent Rose as she nerded out over Toshika. "How did you do that? Were you flying?" Her eyes drifted over the orbs spinning above Toshika's head momentarily and she gasped. "ARE THOSE YOUR WEAPONS?" she squealed even louder, entirely forgetting what they were doing. "OH MY OUM, ARE YOU A HUNTRESS?!"

"Semblance, yes, yes, and no, respectively," Toshika answered her calmly. She stuck out a tail towards Ruby as an offer of handshake. Roman finally dropped off the sign and face planted on the sidewalk, groaning in pain again. "I'm Toshika Hana Corona. And you are?"

Ruby seemed a little startled at the offer of a tail shake, but she exuberantly grabbed the tail and accepted that shake after a moment. "I'm Ruby Rose!" she exclaimed, putting her hands on her hips proudly.

Toshika withdrew her tail and grinned out the side of her mouth, never letting her eyes leave Roman. Said criminal was starting to get up. "Pleased to meet you," she said. "Now let's kick some bad guy ass."

Ruby's eyes widened and she looked over to Roman. Then they narrowed and she twirled Crescent Rose around, getting into a combat pose again. "Yes. Let's."

Roman groaned again, sounding very put out. "Two against one isn't very fair," he complained, finally straightening up and outright glaring death at Toshika.

"It's three against one," Toshika pointed out, nodding down to Huey.

Both Roman and Ruby looked where she'd indicated. They had very different reactions.

"IT'S A ZWEI!" Ruby squealed, bringing her hands to her face. "He's so adorable!"

Roman on the other hand looked furious again. "Your dog…" he muttered, tilting his head down. "He peed on me."

Ruby giggled again, but Toshika just grinned. "Yes."

"Why."

"I told him to."

"I see," Roman acknowledged. "Then I'm not holding back."

Toshika blinked, then Roman was no longer where he was. "Say wha-"

That was all she managed to get out as a truly ludicrous amount of explosive energy hit her side. It tossed her and Ruby to the right, as neither had been expecting it.

Toshika immediately sent out a weak pulse of gravity from herself to push the smoke away. It didn't do much, but it did allow her to see that Roman had vanished. She quickly looked towards the ladder on the nearby building and found him rapidly scaling it.

Ruby coughed, waving smoke away. "Where'd he go?" she asked.

"There," Toshika said, pointing at Roman. At the same time, she enveloped him in her Semblance, increasing gravity's hold on him by a factor of three.

The man stopped going up the ladder, turned around, and glared death at her again. Then he kept climbing, struggling all the while.

Toshika could end this. End him. With a snap of her fingers.

But the group wanted to keep canon on track until a massive showdown at the Fall of Beacon. And by showdown, they meant a massive, overwhelming disco dance rave and showoff party. Something so final, so spectacular, it would not only demonstrate to the world just who they were and why it was a bad idea to mess with them, but as a message to the villains. A very clear message.

Plus, Toshika may or may not have come up with it in the first place and may or may not (oh who was she kidding) find the entire idea absolutely gods damned hilarious, so she was one hundred and fifty percent on board.

Thus, in pursuit of that, she didn't increase his gravity by a factor of 100 and pancake him into the pavement.

Ruby followed her finger and gasped. "He's getting away!" she cried.

"He thinks he is," Toshika ground out. She turned her head to look at the owner of From Dust Till Dawn. "You okay down here?"

He just grunted. The man really didn't say much, did he?

Toshika nodded and turned back to see Roman almost all the way up. "Let's go, Ruby," she said. A moment later she, Ruby, and Huey were lifted into the air by glowing purple starfields and were accelerating towards the top of the building.

"Woooaaah!" Ruby exclaimed, holding onto her scythe for dear life. "We're flying?!"

"Yeahp," Toshika nodded. "Easier than climbing."

"That's true," she admitted.

Roman disappeared over the lip of the building's roof for a moment… and then Toshika and Ruby landed right behind him.

He paused in his running away, still facing away from them. He then proceeded to actually growl. Apparently Toshika had made him very, very angry. "Persistent," he accused.

The fact he was still standing straight up despite the gravity on him was telling of how strong he was.

Before Ruby or Toshika could say anything, a loud rumbling of jet engines began to come closer from the other side of the building. A bullhead sprang up from cover and into the air, its searchlight illuminating them both.

The door opened, and Toshika finally got to see how he got into the cabin.

Roman fucking jumped.

Under the effects of three times Remnant's gravity.

Clearly he was far more skilled than she'd expected.

He sighed even as the bullhead's engine whine turned into more of a roar due to the added weight he was imparting to the aircraft. Toshika hadn't instructed her Semblance to stop affecting him, and so it still did.

She was honestly tempted to leave him that way permanently, a sparkly purple starfield man who had to work extremely hard to move, but she knew it would just train his muscles and make him a more effective opponent next time. She'd let him out of her Semblance once the bullhead escaped to a certain distance, giving Cinder (and Salem by extension) invalid information about her range limit.

"End of the line, Red, Foxy, and dog," he announced, holding up a Fire Dust crystal. He spat his nickname for Huey. It seemed the man was holding a grudge against Huey personally about getting peed on.

Roman tossed the crystal towards them and aimed his cane.

Toshika looked around, seeing an incoming Deputy Headmistress, so stopped herself from performing her first course of action. As funny as 'No U'ing Roman Torchwick would be, Glynda needed to 'save' them.

He fired and the explosion erupted… straight into Glynda's hastily erected shield.

"Woo hoo hoo hoo!" Roman prematuely celebrated, then blinked. "Huh?"

Glynda was not amused.

Things proceeded pretty much as the show's events did, right up until Cinder entered the fight.

Then Toshika started helping.

Cinder's flames were directed back at her, she tossed the Bullhead around, and even ensured Cinder lost her footing on the inside of the craft multiple times by redirecting her personal gravity sideways.

But she still let her go. Not without grinning unrepentantly at a glaring faux Maiden, however.

...Who stared at her like she was an insect, but also like she was confused.

Was it possible that due to her dual origin, Cinder remembered her as a 'minion' of Tall, Dark, Sexy and Evil, but only barely?

Toshika shrugged and jostled the bullhead again as a parting shot.

She'd figure it out later. Hilariously, no doubt.

Then Ruby asked for Glynda's autograph, and the Huntress was very much not happy with either of them.

Police stations suck. Especially when you're in the interrogation room being lectured by a woman with a stick up her ass so legendary it deserves an origin story.

"If it was up to me, you'd be sent home… with a pat on the back."

Ruby grinned wide.

"And a slap on the wrist!" Glynda continued, bringing her riding crop down just an inch shy of Ruby and Toshika's hands. Ruby flinched back and squeaked in surprise.

Toshika didn't move.

Instead, her eyes grew hard and she glared at Glynda. "One more inch. I dare you," she challenged.

"And what do you have to say for yourself?" Glynda fired back, entirely ignoring her challenge. "Toshika Hana Corona. Ruby Rose has the benefit of youthful ignorance, but you?" Her own eyes grew hard. "You should know better."

Toshika smirked and snorted. "Know better than interfering in a battle between a trained, Aura using criminal and a young girl?" she scoffed. "I'd do it again if I had to. Ruby was outmatched. I don't regret aiding her."

Glynda's hard look softened somewhat for a moment, then she toughened up again. "You have a point," she admitted. "Why chase him afterwards, though?"

"I believed he could be captured by the two of us," Toshika reasoned. "I didn't expect a bullhead and a very high powered Fire Semblance accomplice."

Glynda frowned at the mention of Cinder. "Yes, she was a surprise. I'm glad I got there in time."

"Me too," Toshika agreed.

"I'm… sorry, and happy you saved us too, Miss Huntress," Ruby apologized adorably.

Glynda sighed. "Like I said, you should get a pat on the back and a slap on the wrist and be sent home," she repeated herself. Another sigh, this one long-suffering, emanated from her. "But… there's someone here that would like to meet you." She then looked at Toshika, sighing again. "Both of you."

Toshika shrugged. Ruby was obviously intrigued.

And out of the shadows, despite the delay, Ozpin arrived with a plate of cookies in the same way he'd done so in the show.

The man had showmanship, you had to give him that.

"Ruby Rose," he greeted her, leaning close. "You… have silver eyes."

They had their discussion, Ruby ate cookies like a vacuum cleaner, and Toshika tuned them out. She'd be addressed eventually.

"You want to come to my school?"

"More than anything."

Ozpin smiled and looked to Glynda. She grunted and rolled her eyes.

"Well okay."

Ruby went wide eyed with glee… and then it was Toshika's turn.

"Toshika Hana Corona," Ozpin turned to her.

"Headmaster Ozpin," she stated, greeting him with a nod of her head and fox ears.

Funnily enough, her weapons had been circling above her head the whole time. The police really hadn't wanted to try and stop a gravity controller from doing what she wanted. They hadn't actually been that worried, only grumbling at her refusal to hand over her Balls, which must have been because of Glynda and Ozpin's presence.

"Headmaster and not Professor?" Ozpin asked, curious.

"I'm entering your school tomorrow, Headmaster," she informed him. "It's just polite."

Ozpin searched her eyes for a few moments. "Something tells me you're not usually the type to be respectful," he gleaned.

Toshika smirked and crossed her arms. "You're right," she agreed, nodding. "I'm being nice to you though as so far you haven't shown yourself to have a stick up your ass."

Glynda glared at her, but Ozpin just smiled, amused. "I'm glad I've made such a good impression," he genuinely said. "So you're coming to my school?"

Ruby finally zoned back in and squealed, turning to look at the fox Faunus. Toshika nodded to both of them.

"Yup. I have an acceptance letter from you right here," she said, reaching down into her cleavage.

Because of course that's where she stored it. It was actually a highly convenient storage space given her bust size… and the look of shock on Glynda's face and the slight twitch to Ozpin's was more than worth the way it painted her. Ruby's adorable blush just made it better.

She dropped the Jumpchain-provided letter on the table in front of Ozpin and sat back, grinning.

"You can't possibly expect us to believe that this is legitimate!" Glynda growled her way, eyes flaring with indignant anger.

Toshika just smirked back, eyeing the letter's obvious Beacon Huntsman Academy letterheading and paper patterns.

Ozpin raised an eyebrow at her, but proceeded to sigh and open up the letter. He read down it, apparently finding everything in order. "It's an older letter of acceptance, but it checks out," he acknowledged, then held it out to hand it back to her.

Glynda scowled even harder. She huffed and turned away, her nose pointing to the ceiling.

Toshika's eyes widened a little at Ozpin's phrasing. From his knowing lilt and almost twinkling eyes, he was aware of the meme. But how?

...Maybe it was one of the other's doing?

They had been having rather in-depth discussions about the Internet and spreading the joy of memes to Remnant… and that would explain the far more advanced network, with websites even, she'd managed to connect to earlier that day. Now that she was thinking about it, Roman's metric increase in competency might also be due to whatever they'd all fluffed up. And if those things were changed… she was going to have to play things close to the chest.

Like I can play anything away from my chest, she joked silently. Ozpin's polite cough dashed the joke against the large hills before she could get further in her internal shenanigans, though.

"Thank you, Headmaster," she managed, attempting to look cool and mysterious. "To be clear, I'm accepted officially?"

It didn't exactly work, but an attempt was made.

"So you are," the hidden wizard acknowledged. "I hope to see you at Initiation."

She folded the letter up and slid it back down between her boobs, causing Ruby to blush again and look away for a moment, then grinned wider. "Sweet." She knew trolling Ozpin would be great, but experiencing it in person was even better than she'd imagined. And it seemed he could give just as good as he got… for her entry level, anyways.

He still had much to learn in the Way of the Meme.

She turned to the still lightly blushing Ruby and gave her a thumbs up. "Guess we're both joining your sister!"

Ruby squealed with joy and tackled her in an abrupt hug. "Yay, we're going to Beacon!"