It takes Peeta and I all of five minutes to get our things from our compartment and return to the dining car, and by the time we get back Effie has bounced onto the train and somehow gotten engrossed in a logistics conversation with Haymitch, flipping through pages of an itinerary as if they had been talking for hours.
"Oh hello my dears!" she exclaims when she sees us. She deposits her pile of papers into Haymitch's hands and hurries over to hug Peeta and I in turn. If I wasn't so nervous I think I would be laughing at the expression on Haymitch's face when he looks at the stack of papers in his arms. He looks deeply confused as to how he got himself in this situation, but not at all unhappy.
"How are you Effie?" Peeta asks. She smoothes out the fold of her dress before speaking.
"Well, I am just thrilled to see you all. I am, of course, still...disappointed in the way this whole event was handled, but I've spoken to those in charge to improve things for you all and ensure nothing of the sort will happen again." I give a small smile at that. The use of "disappointed" regards to event planning is a scathing review from Effie. It also sounds like Haymitch was right in his assumption that Plutarch went too far on this one, so that helps.
We chat with Effie for a few minutes while everyone else fills back into the room after getting their stuff. It's clear as we talk to her that, as ever, she is worried about punctuality. She keeps glancing at the small, shiny watch on her wrist, and taps her foot anxiously as she waits for Johanna, who seems to be taking her time packing up.
"Alright!" Effie says to the room at large once Johanna strolls in. "It is so lovely to see all of you. I'm just going to give you a brief rundown of the day and then we'll be on our way. We're headed into the city center, which is just about two miles from where we are now. Those who would like to can take a car, or you walk, we have time for either. You'll all have prep sessions when we arrive, which I think you'll find to be far less invasive than what you're accustomed to, and then there will be a light meal before the panel. Does anyone have any questions?" No one speaks up. I think those who aren't as familiar with Effie's nature are a bit taken aback by how much she sounds like some sort of instructor, but this is very familiar to Peeta, Haymitch, and me from on tour.
"Alright," Effie says, brushing off the moment of awkward silence. "Go ahead and decide amongst yourselves if any of you prefer to walk or prefer to be driven, and we'll be on our way."
"What do you want to do?" Peeta asks me. Even though I should want to limit the amount of time I spend out on the streets of the Capitol as much as possible, the idea of sitting in some small, enclosed car right now feels suffocating to me. At least the cold air outside should help keep me sane.
"Let's walk," I say. Peeta nods.
"I think Annie better take a car," Haymitch says, and we all nod. She's calmed down and seems much more comfortable, but she's still sort of out of it, and the anxiety medication seems to have made her sleepy.
"I can go with her," Beetee says. The rest of us decide to walk.
"Well I should go with Annie and Beetee, as they will arrive first and need instructions as to where to go, but I feel terrible leaving you all alone to walk through the city!" Effie frets. Haymitch rolls his eyes.
"Don't worry about it princess," he says. "It's a straight shot from here to the city center, I'm pretty sure I can manage the kids." Effie agrees, though she still has something of a nervous expression on her face, like she's afraid she's being rude. Effie has some of the attendants put our bags in the car so we don't have to carry them while we walk, and then she, Beetee, and Annie take off, and the rest of us start making our way. There aren't a lot of people out and about right now, which I'm grateful for. I think people are all busy preparing for the weekend's events, but I'm just glad we aren't being bombarded with photographers or anything.
"So," Johana says to me as we walk. "Any bets on who's next?"
"Huh?" I ask, confused.
"You know, Annie had the first breakdown of the trip, but we all have potential within us. Who do you think will go next? My money's on you or Lover Boy."
"Why us?" I ask, a little offended. I'm honestly not in the mood for any of this; I know Johanna is just trying to make light of the situation, but I'm too overwhelmed and nervous to find it particularly funny.
"Well I have a whole train of logic, of course," Johanna says, either not noticing my discomfort or not caring. "We're all possibilities, but I'd like to think I'll make it a little longer than the rest of you, out of competition if nothing else. We all know Haymitch needs booze for his preferred form of breakdown, and I'm not sure if handsome over there has enough shit with this city to break down yet. So, you and Peeta." Haymitch snorts and Peeta lets out a small laugh at this. Gale looks almost offended.
"I did almost die several times here while fighting at the end of the war," Galee mentions, as if he needs to defend himself against Johanna's comment. She laughs.
"Big whoop," she says. "We've all almost died here, some of us in multiple contexts. Get in line." She laughs at her own joke as we keep walking. I keep my hand locked tightly in Peeta's the whole time, and the further we go the more it feels as if it's the only thing keeping me from falling into broken despair. The route we're walking now isn't all that different from the route Squad 451 took clearing pods this time a year ago. I can't place exactly which blocks held what horrors, and I'm grateful for that because I'm sure if I could it would derail me. If I knew I was in the exact spot where Boggs's legs were blown off, or where several stories under the ground Finnick was ripped apart by mutts...
I shake my head, trying to rid it of the painful thoughts that are threatening to take over. No, enough buildings were destroyed and rebuilt that things look different. I can try to focus on the difference. Focus on anything other than the past.
As we cross an intersection, I feel Peeta grow tense next to me.
"Hey," I say, turning to him and grabbing his arm with the hand that isn't already holding his. "Are you ok?" He nods and takes a shaky breath in and out. His grip on my hand grows tighter and I can tell he's on the verge of flashing. I'm not sure what set him off, but frankly I think there are an almost infinite number of valid reasons. The others notice we've stopped walking and stop too, realizing that Peeta is struggling.
"Want to do some 'real or not real'?'" I ask, hoping returning to that classic coping mechanism will help him sort out whatever bad memory he's facing. He nods again.
"Um," he starts. "There were pods all around here. It felt sort of like an Arena. Real or not real?"
"Real," I say, nodding. "They were all over."
"And I wasn't...me. Last time we were here. Real or not real?"
"Real," I say, immediately and definitively. It seems to help him a little, but he still looks like he's in pain.
"This...this is the spot where I killed Mitchell," he says, pain and remorse overwhelming in his voice. "Real or not real?" I let out a long breath and look around. I am genuinely not sure if he's right or not. He very well might be; so much was happening at that moment with the oil and Boggs and everything else, I don't really remember what the buildings looked like. But it doesn't really matter if he's right or wrong, because what I need to tell him stays the same.
"I'm not sure, Peeta," I say, my voice steady and calm. "But that wasn't you. You said so yourself. You weren't you then, but you're you now. You're here and I'm here, with you. It's ok." He takes a shaky breath in and releases it slowly. He's nodding, which is a good sign.
"You're here," he repeats.
"Yes," I breathe. "I'm here."
"You love me?" he asks, sounding like he needs to be reminded because he's having a hard time believing it. I nod again.
"Yes. Real. Very, very real. I love you." He closes his eyes, and after a minute or so like that he exhales and sighs.
"I'm ok," he says, sounding tired but otherwise normal. "I'm sorry."
"Oh shut up," says Johanna almost instantly. "You don't apologize for this. It's stupid. You're doing everything you can, Peeta." Though she says it in her typical brash way, Johanna's message is very clear and very kind. She understands what Peeta goes through. She, like me, and like Haymitch, knows he never needs to apologize.
"She's right," Haymitch adds. "You did good, kid. You brought yourself back down. Don't apologize, just take the time you need and tell us when you're ready to keep moving."
"Thanks," Peeta says, giving a small smile. "I'm alright, really. We can keep going." We get started up again and I squeeze Peeta's hand in mine.
"I love you," I say to him again, whispering this time. It's almost silent, just for him, just in case he's still doubting if he is deserving of love. His smile grows more genuine and comfortable on his face at the words.
"I love you too," he responds, bringing our joined hands up to his lips and placing a kiss onto my hand.
We keep on walking and things are okay for a while. We all make quiet, simple conversation, just trying to keep our minds occupied. Johanna has taken to pestering Gale with questions, which is perfectly fine for me because it gives me something to focus on while not really having to speak that much. Though the low level ache in my chest has not abated, I'm finding myself pleasantly surprised by my lack of outright panic. That changes, however, when the city center comes into view in the distance.
I immediately feel a surge of panic run through my body. My stomach starts hurting, and I am infinitely grateful that I didn't eat much this morning. Looking around me, I can see that everyone is nervous. Even Gale has an upset expression on his face, and I can hope that means he feels some guilt about his involvement in what we are approaching. When I look at Peeta though I see that his eyes are trained not on the circle in the distance but on me.
"Are you ok?" he asks. I can't formulate words right away, and just open my mouth and close it a couple times before any sound comes out.
"No," I say honestly. I don't know exactly how I feel right now, but I know that "ok" is not right. And we don't lie to each other.
"That's alright," he says. "You don't have to be ok here. I've got you." I nod and breathe shakily. We make our way forward slowly but surely, and I feel worse and worse as we go. What little food I had this morning is threatening to make a resurgence, and I don't feel like my head can focus on anything, but is rather just flitting between different flash points of terror.
"Katniss, breathe with me," Peeta says, looking concerned. I don't even realize I'm hyperventilating until I start trying to focus on my breathing with him. We've done this time and time again, after nightmares and bad memories. He holds me, we breathe. We try to move on. He pulls me into his arms and I feel his heartbeat in his chest. It helps, but it doesn't have the world-repairing effect on me that it does, and it's that which lets me know just how badly things are going to go.
"Let's just keep going," I mumble, wanting to get this all over with as fast as I can. My hope is that if I can get through the city circle just staring at my feet and hurrying, I'll be ok once we get inside.
My logic is flawed, however, as the minute we reach the city circle I am paralyzed.
Overwhelmed. Distraught. Beyond sense.
This is where she died. I look around, and even though it's a brisk, cold day out right now all I can see is fire. All I can see is burning children. A blonde braid, a white uniform, a hopeful and then terrified look on her face. She calls my name. She burns. She dies.
I'm standing stock still, stiff and unmoving. I hear that people are talking to me but I don't register any of what they are saying. I think based on their tones that they must be worried, that the expression on my face must be one of panic and pain. I don't know anything but fear right now. Fear and despair.
"Katniss," Peeta moves his face so it's right in front of mind and knots both of his hands in my hair on either side of my head. I jolt out of my trance, and as reality hits me I only feel worse. Bile rises in my throat and panic clouds my mind.
"No," I mutter, before darting to the side and vomiting into the gutter. I feel Peeta behind me almost instantly, one hand pulling back my hair and the other one rubbing circles on my back. I'm still keeled over, coughing as I hear the others crowd around. I don't want that. Once it seems I'm done, Peeta pulls me up gently.
"Ok," he says. "Ok, come on over here. Sit down." He leads me to a spot on the curb a few feet away and sits me down. He takes a seat next to me and immediately wraps his arms around me. Tears started flowing from my eyes involuntarily as I threw up, and they don't seem remotely close to stopping. I hate myself for looking so weak and pathetic, but my body seems unable to do anything except sob in his arms and let out these horrible wheezing noises of panic and pain. My chest rises and falls at far too fast of a rate as I sob.
"Shhh," Peeta breathes into my hair, his voice gentle and soft. "I've got you, you're going to be ok. Just breathe." He's doing everything right, everything he can given the situation,, but I'm losing myself. I shake my head frantically and just weep. In front of my eyes I see that blank canvas, scorched at the edges with the black residue of flames. Drops of blood fall and stain the material.
"C'mon sweetheart," I hear Haymitch say. He bends down onto his knees in front of me and places a hand on my shoulder. "You can do this, I know you can." Johanna drops down onto the other side of me and just takes my hand in hers. Words aren't either of our strengths. I know she's here. I know they're all here. They all care. I wish it seemed to matter more to my fucked up head.
"You're alright, Catnip," Gale says kindly, approaching me. At his movements forward I immediately recoil, drawing myself back into Peeta and feeling my breath quicken even more. I can't communicate it or express anything in words right now, but I cannot have him touch me. Not right now. Not where he killed her. No.
"Gale, I think...I think she might want a little space," Peeta says, picking up on my increased panic. "I appreciate that you're trying to help but I think it's just a little too much for her." Gale seems palpably angered by this.
"She's my best friend, I've known her for years longer than any of you. I can help. I know how she gets, I can help her," he says frustratedly. He makes another move forward and I bury my head in Peeta's shoulder, shaking heavily. My mind is strangely blank, no coherent thoughts are running through my head. It's just an overwhelming sense of panic.
"I'm sorry Gale but it's clearly too much for her right now," Peeta asserts, calm but firm. "You remind her of..." he trails off, not wanting to say what he was going to say out loud. But Gale seems to know what's been left unsaid, and it doesn't do much to quell his anger.
"You don't know what the hell you're talking about," Gale starts. "You don't get to -" He's cut off by Haymitch standing up abruptly and, with surprising strength, pushing Gale back into the wall of the building right behind us and pinning him there.
"Listen to me," he grumbles angrily. "I'm not nearly as nice as the boy, so you're gonna listen when I say back off. This isn't the time for your grievances about how she feels about you. You and I both know what she associates you with, and you might not think it's fair but that's not what we're fucking doing right now. For everyone else here, getting through this weekend is a matter of survival. You back off and you listen to what she needs. You listen to the boy, no matter how hard it is for your fragile fucking ego, because he knows better than you on this. You've just got to deal with it. You hear me?"
I can't see Gale's face but I assume he's nodding. This act from Haymitch was at least somewhat able to break through my stupor because I would genuinely not have expected it from him. I've always known Haymitch to be protective of me and Peeta, but usually that was in regards to government manipulation or outright violence. This is different, This is paternal.
"How are you doing?" Peeta whispers to me, seeming to pick up that I've come out of myself ever so slightly with the exchange in front of us. I shake my head and sniffle.
"Not very good," I croak, my voice hoarse. "I...I'm sor-"
"I swear to fucking God if you apologize I am going to smack you," Johanna says, speaking up for the first time since all of this started. "We've literally had this same conversation like four hundred times already. You don't apologize. None of us do. You want us to wait, sit here, whatever, we do it. You puke all over us, we'll still fucking stay with you. Just focus on calming down, don't focus on apologizing for shit you don't need to apologize for." I give her a small sad smile and try to focus on my breathing.
"Ok," I mutter after a few minutes. "I don't want to be here anymore. Let's keep going." Peeta helps me up and I'm a little wobbly on my feet. I haven't stopped shaking entirely yet.
"Do you want me to carry you?" he asks me. I actually let out a little chuckle at this, which feels like a monumental achievement all things considered.
"If my goal is to not look weak in front of all these people, I think you carrying me in like I'm a kid is probably not the way to go." He smiles at this and takes my hand.
"Fair point," he says. "I'll just hold your hand instead. But lean on me, if you need to." I nod.
"Come on boys!" Johanna calls to Haymitch and Gale, who are still locked in some silent feud and staring at each other with hatred in their eyes. "We've got the girl moving, let's not waste this opportunity." They come over quickly and we start moving again. I'm still shaking and sniffling, but I force myself onward because I want this to be done. I know that being inside the new government center in the Capitol won't actually solve my problems, but at least I won't be right here, in the spot where she died. I need to be virtually anywhere else.
I feel a palpable sense of relief when we step inside. Effie is waiting for us by the door.
"Good, good, you're here! I was beginning to get worried about how long it was taking," she says, not seeming to notice my red eyes just yet.
"We had a couple of slow downs," Haymitch says, and by the look on her face she picks up on the meaning in his words. "But we're alright now."
"Well I'm glad you've all made it," Effie says, smiling kindly. "We have two prep rooms, one for the boys to the left and one for the girls to the right. You'll find prep teams and a variety of clothing options in there, as well as refreshments you are welcome to help yourself to. Unfortunately we're in a bit of a rush, so you should all be on your way as soon as possible."
Peeta looks immediately uncomfortable at the idea of separating from me. I really don't want him to, but I also don't want to make a scene. If I make a big deal out of this it will become painfully evident how dysfunctional I am, and while I've come to terms with showing that side of me to the people in my strange little family, I'm not comfortable with it being obvious in front of the people of the Capitol.
"Are you gonna be ok?" he asks me, giving me a meaningful look. I nod shakily.
"Y-yeah," I say. "It's alright. Go on ahead, I'll see you soon."
"Are you sure?" he asks, picking up on the obvious insincerity of my reassurance.
"She's gonna be fine," Johanna says, slinging her arm around my shoulders. "I've got brainless here all taken care of, don't you worry. You just go off and try to keep our two manly men over there from killing each other." She gestures to Haymitch and Gale. Peeta and I both laugh slightly at that. He kisses me lovingly before whispering "I'll see you soon," and heading off behind Haymitch.
Johanna and I head down the hall to the right, her arm still around my shoulder. I really appreciate the way she's being here for me right now. She doesn't have to, but she is, and it matters to me a lot.
"Well, I guess you were right," I say, trying to humor her. She looks confused.
"I'm always right. But about what?" I laugh a little.
"About who would have the next breakdown. It was me, so you win on that one." Johanna laughs at this, although not in the sarcastic, teasing way that she so often does.
"Shut up, stupid," she says, tugging on my braid. We walk down the hallway and open the door Effie indicated to us. Almost immediately upon opening the door, I'm assailed by squealing that I wasn't prepared for.
"Katniss!" I hear multiple voices chirp, and I soon realize that helping get us ready today are my own original prep team: Venia, Flavius, and Octavia. It looks like they were in the middle of prepping Annie, but they all pause to run over and give me hugs.
"Hi!" I say, forcing myself to show them the cheer they deserve. No matter how little I understood them when we first met, I love these people. They have grown and shown strength, and they have my respect. They mean far more to me than I ever would have thought possible for people who were initially so entrenched in everything Capitol.
"How are you? What is life in 12 like right now? Who do you see? Are you with Peeta?" Flavius and Octavia bombard me with a string of questions that are hard to keep up with. They come in such rapid fire that I don't even know what to respond to.
"Let her breathe," Venia chastises, but with a laugh in her voice. "How have you been, Katniss?" she asks, and her two companions nod, indicating they all agree to prioritize this one question.
"I've...I've been pretty good," I tell them. It's sort of odd to me to try to summarize this whole past year, because how I've "been" has changed so drastically depending on the moment I'm talking about. The first few months? I can't say for sure what words I would use to describe them, but I know that "good" would not have been among them. More recent times, with Peeta , with seeing our district recover? Those have been better than I would have thought possible.
"It's been a process, I guess, getting back to some sense of normal. But I'm doing well, all things considered," I say. It's the best answer I can give right now. I suppose I should actually start trying to come up with something coherent to say as an answer to that question, because I'll have to be answering it on TV in just a short time.
"That's so good to hear," Octavia says, and I give her a smile.
"We should get back to Annie," Venia says. "But Katniss, we'll work on you next, and we want to hear everything you've been up to." Flavius and Octavia nod, and the three head back to the chair in which Annie sits, her hair half done. I wander over to the other side of the room where Johanna headed when my prep team encircled me, and see that she's standing with a plate of food, talking with Cressida. Her eyes brighten when she sees me.
"Hi Katniss!" she says, pulling me into a hug. "It's so good to see you."
"It's good to see you too," I say, and I mean it. Even though I'd much prefer it be under different circumstances, I am genuinely happy to see Cressida. I have a lot of respect and good feelings towards her. She asks me how I am and I give a similar answer to the one I gave my prep team. I ask her in return and she tells me about her job in the Capitol and what the government is like now.
She seems happy, which is good to see. In fact, she seems to radiate confidence in a way that I can only hope to emulate. She's already been prepped, and the combination of my team's effort with her own natural aura is quite effective. Her blonde hair and green tattoos look the same as they always have, and her makeup is simple by Capitol standards, just red lipstick and smokey eye makeup. Her clothes feel authentically her as well, which gives me some hope that I won't be forced into anything ridiculous or uncomfortable. She's wearing a fitted black suit made of some sort of velvety material.
As we chat and catch up and eat a bit, I notice Johanna eyeing her with an expression of interest, and I try my best not to smile. I've seen Johanna flirt with any number of people, but I don't think I've ever seen her exhibit any sign of attraction that wasn't completely measured to be within her control. I can't help the urge that builds in me to tease her, even though I would be happy to see her with someone she liked. It's just the sisterly instinct between the two of us, and I'll be damned if at some point I don't get back at her for the unrelenting teasing she's targeted at me and Peeta.
Annie comes over to us soon after, looking lovely with her hair in curls and wearing a flowy pale blue dress.
"They're ready for you, Katniss," Annie tells me, and I thank her before heading over to my prep team. They all squeal with happiness and tell me all about how much better their lives are while they wash and style my hair. Much to my relief, the old practices of waxing every piece of hair from my body seem to have been abandoned, and today all I'll have to sit through is hair and makeup.
From what I can tell, life has been good for the members of my prep team and I am very happy to hear it. Even though they never endured any of the hardships faced by people in the districts, the class system of the Capitol still had them relegated to a second class status, but now they have equal access to anyone else. Apparently they have been working as personal stylists now - something they always wanted to do but were never able to previously - but they wanted to come back and do prep when they heard I would be here. I smile and thank them for that. I also thank them for their choice to keep my whole look for today relatively simple; Flavius blows my hair out and leaves it down in loose, styled waves while Octavia trims my nails and paints them a simple light pink and Venia applies fairly natural makeup to my face. The whole effort seems to only be accentuating the way I already look, which I vastly prefer to either the Capitolite standards or the severe Mockingjay I portrayed in 13. I actually like the way I look when they're done, with my hair flowing and my lips glossy.
"Now come over here, Katniss," Flavius says, removing the cape they'd covered me with during prep and leading me over to several clothing racks. "We've selected a variety of things we thought might suit you, but we wanted the actual decisions to be left up to you." I smile at that, feeling gratified and relieved. I walk through the racks and find that everything is much more tame and simple than once would have fit the Capitol's tastes, but no part of me is complaining.
"This is nice," I say, running my fingers over a soft dark green turtleneck.
"Oh yes, that color would look great on you!" Octavia says. "If you'd like, we can help you style a look around it." I nod, as I have no idea what sorts of things go well together, so I might as well take them up on it. The result is something I actually like more than I would have thought possible. They dress me in the green sweater, a short terracotta colored skirt, tights, and boots with just a small heel. It's all so much more comfortable and authentic feeling than anything I've worn in the Capitol before, which at least makes the whole day feel somewhat more bearable. At least I won't be stuck trying to prevent myself from breaking down while also trying to avoid literally falling down in stupidly high heels.
When they're done with me, I head back over to Annie and Cressida and chat with them while Johanna is prepped. We don't discuss anything profound, as Annie and I are both generally quiet people and have both been shaken by our nerves today. Cressida seems to notice our hesitancy and directs the conversation by sharing lighthearted stories, which I'm grateful for. There's food out but I only eat small bites, my stomach still off from earlier. The time passes pleasantly enough, and it's not long until Johanna's prep is finished too. She's wearing a short black leather skirt and a high necked sheer black blouse. She looks powerful, and I'm sure that is exactly what she wants.
"They told me we can meet the boys in the main hall whenever we're ready," she says. We all head out shortly after that, but I hold Johanna back a minute. Once Cressida and Annie are a few paces ahead of us, my face splits into a stupid, teasing grin.
"What?" she says, already looking annoyed before a single word has left my mouth.
"Nothing," I say in a too bright voice. "Just...Cressida's nice, isn't she?" My meaning is entirely obvious, and Johanna rolls her eyes almost instantly.
"Oh shut up," she says, shoving my shoulder.
"Sorry but I think I have every right, after all the teasing you've done to me!" I say. "Plus, all the times we've talked about this sort of thing, you've always been the one interrogating me, never the other way around. I didn't even know you...liked women."
She laughs at me. I don't really have the proper verbiage, and it's obvious. Sexuality just wasn't discussed in the districts, or at least not in District 12. I honestly don't think many people would have cared what anyone did in private, but only a couple with a man and a woman could get a marriage license and housing assignment at the Justice Building, as the Capitol saw increasing the population as part of the duty of everyone in the districts. I know from my time here that people in the Capitol have always had very open concepts of sex and sexuality, where almost nothing was too taboo, but that was not a liberty they thought should extend to the districts.
"I'm perfectly fine with both women and men, if that's what you're attempting to ask," she says, rolling her eyes at me again. "Now come on, we should catch up before Pinky screams her head off at us being late."
We follow the path that Annie and Cressida took out the door, and find them in the main entry hall, along with Effie, Haymitch, Peeta, Gale, Beetee, and Pollux. Pollux and I smile at each other as Effie launches into her instructions.
"Good, you're all here! They want you on stage in just a couple of minutes. Now, I've been assured that nothing overly invasive will be asked of you today, it will just be something of a survey of all of your experiences since establishing your lives after the war. I'm sure you will all do wonderfully." Effie concludes her speech with a smile. She finally seems to have some understanding of why we don't want to perform like this, and she's doing everything she can to make it better. I take Peeta's hand in mine and squeeze it, the easiest way I know to make myself feel a little bit more grounded.
"You look beautiful," he says to me quietly, taking in my prepped appearance. "I like that they didn't change too much. You're still...you. I like you." I laugh a little at that.
"You don't look too bad yourself," I say, and it's true. Peeta is looking exceptionally handsome in a crisp white button down and khaki pants. He kisses me, and I don't think I had fully processed how nervous I felt about this panel until a little bit of the anxiety abated with the kiss.
Effie lines us up in the order they want for the panel - first Cressida, then Pollux, then Beetee, Gale, Annie, Johanna, Peeta, myself, and finally Haymitch at the end. After a few minutes of nervous fidgeting, she gives us a signal, and we begin to file onto the stage.