/rules/bluff-card-game/
(It might not make any sense just yet, but I'm sure this link will be helpful because Lovi might not be the best at explaining things.)
"Gamble with me, Lovino Vargas. Right here, right now."
Kiku's words seemed to repeat over and over again in Lovino's mind like it was some sort of echo chamber.
Gamble with me. Right here, right now.
Lovino wasn't used to these sorts of situations, either. While he had plenty of gambling experience under his belt, the proposition of a gambling match had never been quite so… dramatic.
"Why?" Lovino crossed both arms over his chest haughtily (a motion he'd been practicing over the years) and raised an eyebrow. "Give me one good reason why. Then maybe I'll consider it."
Lovino loved to gamble, but he wasn't an idiot.
Accepting a match blindly would be a death wish. On top of that, something in his intuition told him that the Queen of Hearts was no stranger to the gambling underworld.
Nobody in this crazy wonderland-hellhole of a realm is, Lovino reminded himself. They've got to know what they're doing.
"The Soirée. Imagine if we allowed you to accompany us there. " Kiku said smoothly. "You would operate as a stand-in for the Ace of Hearts. But we won't be telling the other kingdoms about this fact. So essentially, we would be crafting a charade."
"An extremely elaborate charade," Ludwig added. "With you in the very center."
"You understand how risky this is, yes? If you gamble against anyone at the Soirée and lose, your cover will be blown. It would shatter their trust," Kiku stated.
With that claim, Lovino felt personally attacked. He had experienced loss plenty of times, but more often than not, gambling matches tended to come out in his favor. And it certainly wasn't luck entirely; he was pretty damn skilled, too.
"So? Who's saying I'll lose?" Lovino questioned.
"It's merely a possibility," Kiku responded. "Which is precisely why I would like to challenge you to a match. While I'm sure you're an excellent gambler, I'm concerned that your skills don't quite match up to the Ace's." He folded his hands together politely. "This is your opportunity to prove me wrong."
A burst of adrenaline rushed through Lovino's entire body, supercharging him with confidence and overshadowing any insecurity or doubt. He'd experienced the same feeling before, multiple times. That feeling of being able—being ready—to take down anything or anyone, no matter what.
"Oh, yeah?" Lovino tilted his head slightly and cupped one of his palms. "And the stakes?"
A good game has to have good stakes, or else nobody would want to play.
"If you win, you can attend the Soirée in Diamonds. If either the King or I win, you will have to wait for another opportunity to talk with the Queen of Spades. One that doesn't involve so much risk."
"What's life without the risk? You can't sit on your ass and wait for the dust to clear for the rest of your life, you know," Lovino remarked. "But, anyway, I accept."
There it was. The Point of No Return.
It was common knowledge: once you accepted a gamble, there was no going back. No backtracking. No running away.
And—more than anything—there were no second chances.
"Alright then," Ludwig said, pleased with Lovino's cooperation. "We won't be betting on money, so poker is out of the question. Perhaps, if there's another game that will—"
An idea came to mind.
"Bullshit," Lovino said suddenly.
Ludwig pursed his lips and scratched the back of his neck. "Ah, Lovino, I am aware of your… habits… but please try to be a little more respectful with your choice of language."
Lovino snickered—he really couldn't stop himself. "Ha! Potato dumbass!" he taunted. "It's 'Bullshit.' That's the name of the game."
"P-Perhaps we could abbreviate it to something a little less… vulgar?" Kiku suggested meekly.
"Fine, whatever." Lovino rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Babies. Is 'B.S.' PG enough for you?"
"That should work fine," Ludwig answered, regaining all his composure in record speed. "Although, I must admit I have never heard of this game before."
"Me neither," concurred Kiku.
"Come on," Lovino drawled. "You two rule a castle of cards. A gambling kingdom, for god's sake! And you've never heard of B.S?"
Upon receiving no response from the two royals, Lovino continued to speak. "First, we split the deck into three. The first person puts down an Ace, the next person puts down a two, then a three, then a four, and all that. The objective is to get rid of all your cards, and whoever does it first wins. But if you don't have the numbered card you're supposed to put down, you can just put down a random one and lie about it. Whether or not someone calls you out on your bullshit determines how successful you are. If you were actually lying, you have to take the entire deck. If you weren't lying, they have to take the deck."
"Oh! I believe I actually have played this game a couple of times with my cousins," Kiku mused, a look of realization on his face. "Though we called it 'Bluff,' rather than, uh..."
"Just great! I spend five minutes explaining these stupid rules, only for you to tell me you've heard it before!" Lovino ranted.
"Actually, this game is new to me," Ludwig interjected.
Lovino shot the King of Hearts a fiery glare. "Can it, Kraut-face."
"In any case, it is a very entertaining game to play," Kiku commented. "I am looking forward to it."
Ludwig nodded in agreement. "Indeed. I'll tell one of the guards to fetch Feliciano. He can be our dealer."
He won't be as neutral as Baasch, Lovino thought. Yet, he kept the idea to himself. If Feliciano would be biased in anyone's favor, it would be Lovino's right?
Still, he was hoping it wouldn't have to come to that.
Lovino had to win on his own. Just barely getting by with a cheat or a fluke couldn't even be considered a victory to him.
Ludwig stood up, only to be lightly pushed back down by Kiku.
"Don't worry, I will take care of it," assured the Queen of Hearts as he swiftly made his way towards the exit.
That left Ludwig and Lovino alone. Fortunately, Ludwig was careful as to not instigate another battle with the Italian.
"So, this game you've proposed. It's about lying, isn't it?" Ludwig wondered.
"Basically," Lovino replied stiffly. "Poker Face, the art of deception, whatever you want to call it."
Of course, contrary to its name, 'Bullshit' wasn't all about deceit. However, Lovino knew that when push came to shove, there was nothing stopping anyone from making bluffs.
I just have to know when to call 'em.
But there was an itch in the back of his mind. Something in his intuition was telling him that the Wonderful Game of Life™ was about to throw a brand new curveball at him.
From what Lovino could gather from his experiences in Las Vegas and in Amourille, the Queen of Hearts wasn't easy to read by any stretch of the imagination.
It's always the emotionless ones that win, in the end.
He's got that deadpan look all the damn time… it's actually a little bit creepy, but it still gives him the upper hand.
Especially in a game like this.
Lies are so flimsy, just like a house of cards. You can keep stacking them up, but that doesn't change the fact that even the slightest misstep can send them all toppling.
In other words, Lovino's confidence was chipping away. Bit by bit.
There was a possibility that Kiku would beat him.
That he would lose.
I can't. I just can't lose!
It was odd. The stakes were quite shallow; even if Lovino lost, he wasn't really losing anything like money.
Well, perhaps he would be losing an opportunity.
But those come and go, right? Surely, surely, he'd get another chance to tell the Queen of Spades about his predicament, right?
Right…?
Lovino sighed, hoping the action would act as a sort of mental-reset. Overthinking never helped him anyway. It usually just gave him a headache.
"Ciao!" someone said, though anyone could tell who it was effortlessly without even looking.
The double doors were flung open, revealing both the Queen and Jack of Hearts.
"Ve, hi big brother! I can't believe you two are gonna gamble! It's so exciting!" Feliciano gushed.
"Certainly," Kiku agreed as he opened the deck of cards, his back facing the other two. "We will be playing 'Bluff.' All you will need to do is observe and make sure no one is cheating."
"Mhmm!" Feliciano hummed with a grin, obviously excited by the sudden pick-up in his otherwise monotonous life in the Palace of Hearts.
"You know, this is the first time an official match has ever taken place between two nobles of the same suit in quite some time," Kiku recounted as he dealt the cards. "I worry that I have been neglecting my skills."
Lovino fought the urge to scoff in Kiku's face.
It's obviously a trap. He's trying to get me to let my guard down, playing the 'oh, I'm not really good at this at all' card.
As if I'd believe that!
I guess I could give some credit for trying, but that's about it.
And as much as he liked to antagonize Ludwig, Lovino knew the King wasn't really his competitor in this match.
"Right," Lovino finally said non-committedly.
Finally, all the cards were dealt, leaving 18 cards for each player, as jokers were included in the shuffle.
Lovino then proceeded to check his hand.
He was slightly disappointed by the abundance of eights and lack of diversity, but he would just have to manage.
As for face cards, his hand consisted of a Jack of Clubs, King of Diamonds, King of Hearts (how ironic), and a Queen of Hearts (even more ironic.)
I've got the Ace of Diamonds, too.
"Ace of Spades, anyone?" Lovino asked. While it wasn't a clear rule, the custom was always to start the match with the Ace of Spades.
"Hai." Kiku set down a singular Ace face up in the center of the table. "One Ace."
"Well, then." Lovino placed his cards facedown on his lap and cracked his knuckles. "Let the games begin."
Ludwig examined his cards briefly before pulling out two of them. "Two twos."
Lovino looked at his own hand, scanning all the numbers quickly. He didn't have a single two, making it impossible for him to tell whether Ludwig was lying with strong logical evidence. He noticed Kiku doing the same thing, only the Queen was slightly more suspicious.
He's got to have the other two twos, Lovino reasoned. But wait— aren't those two on the same team?
Kiku really doesn't trust easily, huh?
Whatever. It's my turn now.
Lovino bit his lip as he selected a few cards from his supply, furrowing his eyebrows in order to mimic anxiety. Thankfully, he was in possession of a three. Two of them, actually. But another way to win would be to trick the other two into thinking he was lying, so…
"Two threes," Lovino said, his voice intentionally shaky.
But, unfortunately, his performance wasn't enough. Kiku looked at him for a few moments, but didn't try calling a bluff.
Damn it!
"One four." Ludwig set down one card.
Lovino had two fours, once again leaving him in the dark.
Still, there was another way to tell.
Lovino made eye contact with Ludwig, his hazel eyes piercing into icy blue.
Nothing. His pupils didn't dilate, his jaw didn't move. No tell-tale signs of a bluff.
Hmph. Maybe it's just that nobody has a reason to bluff, yet.
But once we get rid of a lot of our cards, that's got to change.
"Three fives," Kiku said as he added a triplet to the deck.
Now, this was a little suspicious. A set of more than two was automatically suspicious in Lovino's book, anyway.
But, as luck would have it, poor Lovino Vargas just couldn't call it. Kiku was unreadable, as was Ludwig.
Lovino clenched his fist, the one that wasn't holding the cards. That potato bastard knows, he has to!
I mean… I could call the bluff. Just to see.
He gulped. The already-existing pile was quite large.
Damn, I've risked so much more than this! Hundreds and thousands of euros and dollars…
But there simply wasn't enough time.
It was Lovino's turn, and he had to act quickly.
Oh, no.
Shit.
His heart did a series of backflips worthy of an Olympic medal.
I don't have a six.
But it was fine, right? He just needed to lie. That was the whole point of this game, wasn't it?
"One six." Lovino pulled out a random card—a five or an eight—and placed it on top of the others, hoping no one would notice his hesitation.
But they did.
By some cruel twist of fate, they noticed.
"Bluff," Kiku declared.
Ludwig looked to Lovino. "Turn it over, now."
Lovino scowled, muttered a series of obscenities under his breath. It just wasn't fair! How was Kiku able to tell so quickly? How was he able to call him out so easily—so confidently?
The card was revealed, and it was clear to see that it wasn't a six.
Lovino sucked in a breath and snatched the already-existing deck from the center and added it into his current hand.
At this rate, I'm gonna lose.
I can't keep telling the truth forever. At some point, I'm going to have to lie.
It's inevitable.
"One seven," someone—probably Ludwig—said.
Lovino placed his cards in his lap again, eyeing one random card with disdain. They were all spread out, face-down, of course…
Wait.
Something wasn't right.
Something was… off.
No way.
Small holes—no, not even holes, pinpricks—decorated the outer margin of the card like confetti. They were almost unnoticeable. Almost.
But what Lovino was able to conclude was undeniable:
His cards were marked. The pinpricks were far too precise and deliberate to be accidental.
Someone—Kiku—must have poked holes in them with a needle. He can tell what cards I have. Well, the numbers, anyway.
But even if I keep my cards hidden, he can still see them when I put them down.
Damn it.
Kiku's a cheater.
And somehow it went right over my head, until now.
The gears turning in Lovino's mind froze, if only for a split second.
But wait. He couldn't tell which cards I was going to be dealt, so…
The entire deck is marked.
The shadow of an evil grin formed on his face.
This was it— the changing point. This was where he could turn the tables on the Queen of Hearts and show them just how incredible of a gambler he really was!
Simply reporting the cheating to Feliciano would be too blasé. But, in order to really go above and beyond, Lovino had to take Kiku's scheme and twist it on its head.
Lovino took a closer look at his hand, noticing the pattern with the placement of the pinpricks and the number of the card.
Then, he looked at Kiku's cards, but with an entirely new perspective.
Lovino smirked to himself as he watched Kiku set down three cards, leaving only a few remaining in his hand. "Three nines."
Thought you could pull one over me, huh?
"Oh, yeah?" Lovino rested his face on his fist, leaning slightly to the side. "Bullshit."
You couldn't be more wrong.
A/N:
Ah, the fantastic game of B.S!
This game is a favorite of mine, (maybe because it's literally the first one I've ever learned how to play, so, as cheesy as it sounds, it holds a place near my heart.) I'm not very good at lying, though, so... (^_^;)
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
PLEASE COMMENT/REVIEW! I'd love to hear some feedback from you all!