Warning: Slight M in a small part in there. Thoughts on Opapagoto?

Family is a fundamental structure of building my character in both lives.

As a previous businesswoman, family to me is a constant reminder of responsibility, discipline and dreams. Even far away from my homeland, youngest of the six siblings of a broken family, I was anticipated to take the burden to my mother and give an immeasurable amount of support to help my nieces and nephews to succeed in their education. It is not obligatory, but our extended family was designed to take care of one another, to give respect and return the hardships my mother and siblings did for me.

It is the equivalent of cycle, whereas my mother had birthed me, clothed, feed, raise, carried, gifted me with love when I was a small child, does my tasked to clothed, feed, raise, carried and gifted her with love when she is but a husk of her former glory, limp as age do her justice as the older she gotten.

To me, extended family was a picture of disembodied disruption of peace. Not of negativity but with a bountiful life in a home where silence was not welcome. It is appreciated however, when children had run their mouths.

It is a fine chaos. A parade of moments.

A home inside people, something you can never replace.

I was born to believe the saying; Nothing will be left behind when it comes to family. Blood is thicker than water. Whereas black sheep happened, expect to accept their return with open arms.

I do not betray family, something I bring with me into the grave and beyond.

Family is a beacon for Yozorako, Yuzu's twin sister. It is the basic structure of trust, patience and love. Although previous life made me accustomed to chaos, my present family was nothing of sort. It is just me, Yuzu, mother and by some extension- Matsuri. We value silence, quick embrace and patience to our own bidding.

We never asked for anything. Content for what we had and was built to open secrets.

Much as I like to give them the benefit of the doubt, such fickle statement of my multiverse jump would make it believe it was true.

I have inquired it before: Why is an OC in a drama filled yuri genre?, now I will ask at this very moment: What difference does it make to have an OC in a drama filled yuri genre?

It is unbelievable, being put into a manga series aside. The whole plot of Citrus is a bargain of normalcy, comedy and romance. Its universe is with a normal society happening in real life.

Despite my barest dwindling resolve, I have contempt myself to not seek the answers into my situation as will it would do me harm done good.

So as much as I loved to 'spill the beans', society and life willed it forbidden to be rift.

I believed it was as simple it is; live, grow, graduate and chasing dreams…

… until Yozorako Verona, head of her last name meets her second life's extended family.

When I was walking at the specified location, I am expecting it crafted into a luxurious theme, with men in tux and women in their witted competitive gossips and children performing as most disciplined.

I assumed blonde and red eyes are a courtesy of a true blooded Verona and children absent to the celebrations of uniting the family. Moreover, I presume it would be laden with significance and tense atmosphere one will find in assemblies.

When I had arrived unto the door opening, I am glad to be unsurprised with my assumption half- right.

I first saw a bartender and waiters, lining up the expense of the walls and walking with tray of wine glasses in hand mingling with social humbling party. Then the sound of small laughter and low conversations passing, as if such reunion was full of wonder even if it is half- started.

I saw men and women mingling with each other, hair in a variety of raven, white silver or blonde most common in refined men. There were some unique looking colors for a strand of hair or even some surprising young children at the age of close to thirteen and above between the people conversing, posed as straight as a ruler. Most notably I comprehended is the Verona men and women can be picked by our eyes, all but reddish orange.

I would've come with Yuzu, but I couldn't afford the risk of exposing her into something that might have gone unexpectedly from the hoped we revered to have in this party. This is an adult world they are raised inside the community I am plunged in. I couldn't do that to my twin, not before I deemed it a success after this. My relatives- strange it was to called them- had the same mindset. Few it may, the children are educated, sporting cold looks and professionalism.

They truly find it foolish to be raised so enduringly, but to pass this opportunity to forge bonds and create the pride of the family is not something they wanted to be left behind.

Thankfully Aihara Academy is humungous and the union was held at their auditorium grander than a school could have admit.

When I had conclude my findings that the other versatile looking palettes are distant family, branch relatives and strangers contracted to Verona businesses, did I realized the sheer number of people who joined, united as if they were old acquaintances not covered by murders of the heirs. They are massive and even though it seems wide and with space. I shouldn't be surprise. I specifically told them I would like to meet them all, to the highest and below.

It makes me doubt my leisured steps, halting just shy of entering. Sam saw my hesitance, and came to step in front of me, shielding me from the few prying eyes. He bend a little, his eyes radiating his turmoil. I stepped back a few.

"Is something the matter, Yozora? Do you want to rest again?" he asked me, voice fatherly comforting, dropping any formality. I appreciate his apprehension, and so I sooth my concern with him. I have rest well for three times now, just walking into the hallways of the academy. Moreover, it pales in comparison to my worry.

"I didn't expect them to be so… numerous." I pursed my mouth, closing my eyes to deflect an upcoming nervousness, cracking my fingers to prevent the coldness trying to seep into my palms. I need to keep calm, it won't do good to passed out without a good reason other than fainting into an important reunion.

He chuckles, but there is an understanding to his voice. "I take it wouldn't please you to hear this is but a small portion of our family."

I cracked my eye open, pursing my lips as I gave him a hard stare. "And I am here expecting you told them all."

He nodded on confirmation, nonplussed at my bland displeasure. "They are all those who have been able to come in such a short notice. We might have come up with a bigger number if this is not rushed or taken to suit your health." I almost felt an nonexistent hackles raise on me, squaring my shoulders when my lips curved down more.

"Who told you?" I whispered, almost venomously. I hate when someone out of my immediate family realized my condition, it makes me feel pitied and recklessly put in a situation as if I were so fragile. It is infuriating and disappointing for an adult in me. It is very insulting.

Yet I felt foolish. My question sounds lame and inappropriate when I verified many years ago Verona isn't a clean name.

I can feel him tense but Shey had placed a nonchalant hand on his shoulder, answering for me. "I have seen it wise to asked your mother if you have something you are uncomfortable with, Yozora- san. Add your medical files, it is safe to say we have done the right thing to keep the pressure on you into minimum. Since it would be your first time being in a public with more than ten presences, your mother advised it to limit your exposure."

"Nothing else you want to tell me?"

"…. We must be with you at all times. We hoped we cannot have some… unsavory moments with our relatives."

I hummed, not quite complacent. I put a hand on my mouth, covering it while I think. I didn't call them out on having my medical files that should have been confidential, nor the way they definitely point out there's a possible assassination that would be plan in this event. I know our family isn't quite clean and legal –they even confirmed they were murderers before- but I'll be damned to say its resources doesn't have an advantage. It doesn't sit well with me, coming from a family of morals. To realized it was used to spy me of all people made it more unappealing. They must've seen the signs when they interacted with me; on how I always retreat a step away at their approach, my flinching episodes when they casually touched me without permission, my itch for space and my comfort when I am the first to interact with them physically.

Moreover, mother is a Godsend. I didn't think that well when I asked for a reunion of wealthy families, the connections they had invited and the reaction of myself to their presence. For my mother to move while my back was turn was distrusting, but it was an action to keep me safe when she was not around, and that was enough for me to forgive her. I have a slight problem when it comes to my well- being, mother had stated once when I was young and since it is me who had not seen my own doomed, mother had taken it herself to protect me whenever she is able.

So I nodded at the two to show I'm not mad at their insubordination. However, a new concern has arise as my hand clenched itself repeatedly, looking at the crowd at the broad shoulders of Sam.

"I am overwhelmed right now." I informed them, trying to regulate my breathe into a normal state.

I don't know what passed between the two, but Shey had bent in knee next to his brother. They knew how important this event is, so they didn't asked if I were to refuse to be seen and postpone it for further notice. "What can we do to lessen your anxiety, Yozora- san?"

I didn't correct him about anxiety, too deep in my distress. I have become so sensitive to emotions I have shut down many times and is avoided by Matsuri and Yuzu in my more less than stellar moments. But there is one thing that always prevents it from becoming a problem longer than a day.

Mask.

False determination.

Sheer focus.

"Distract me. See it fit to used your opportunity where I'm focused enough to gather them, it would be alright then." I simply instructed, tugging at the coldness in my head to run over my pathetic heart. I grasp it, like a hand into a fire. Thinking deeper and mulling information in a situation has distracted me well, effectively cutting down my feelings to see a logical approach on circumstances.

I have put a masked of Roxanne Adele's ethical business behavior, grateful enough to hide behind it as I asked my first conclusion. Plain curiosity and hidden attempt to investigate, two factors of cold thoughts.

"The bartenders and waiters," I nod at their direction, stepping at the frame of the door. "They are bodyguards in disguised, correct?" I spy their clothes, whereas a small dent would be seen next to their waists, or the sure steps of their shoes with two inches soles. I saw a waitress brush a nonchalant hand to her ear where a black pod earring was covered or a soft move of the lips as if talking in the air. I had seen one of the passing bartender, his tray was punctured by beats, as if a camera lens in a hundreds of sparkling black.

"You are very perceptive." Sam has an appraising look on his voice. "You are a very scary child, but yes, they are."

I continued, recalling the pastels of hair and the variety we have. I saw a few features like mine, clustered in every direction, circled in different types of group. "Our relatives. I presume Verona's immediate family was not because they are part of the main, but because they have blonde hair and red orange eyes even they are in the second or third relatives. They are in for the succession of the inheritance if I were to die."

"Correct." Shey said in awe. "I couldn't believe you conclude it so fast."

I ignored him. I didn't waste time, asking for another. My eyes roam into the different hair palettes. Even if I spoke of this world as my own now, and by concluding Citrus is some part of a slice of life, I were to see a point where black hair, blonde, brunette and red hairs are a common variety for normal hair. However, Verona had set the boundaries out the box of the norm as I froze spotting a green haired girl with red eyes. I stared at her long and she grazed me with a silent tilt of wonder and smiled. I didn't return it, focusing at my inquiry. "What about secondary families? If I were to guess, it is seen in the eye color, not the hair. I have thought it barbaric, but it was in my realization that Verona favored those with human feature, especially hair and eyes that is similar to the immediate family."

"… Correct." Shey slowly told me, as if mulling his words. I gave him a single glance before returning into my apathetic state. "The hair colors, it's not common. How is that we had different ones? I assumed that we came from blonde ancestors, but it doesn't answer how a palette not supposed to be possible had emerged into our relatives hair. It could be dye, but it's unconventionally degrading for them. Why is that?"

Shey didn't reply for a short moment, until a sigh has leaved his lips. "Our family, Yozora- san is not the best of those you see in movies and common folk. We are raised harshly to a world we thought the wars between blood would never end, until you happened to us and have promised us a better perspective in our life."

I figured it out in years.

"It doesn't answer my question," I reasoned, but I didn't revoke the clue into his words. ", I have an inkling of what you spoke of, but I must know accurately."

"I think it is best not to talk about our family history now, Yozora- san. You are too young." He tried to avert my curiosity with a stern voice. I almost slipped at the cliff of my fears, but I scratch into the surface, desperately holding into my indifference until I am, again, in control.

"Humor me." I challenged, folding my arms to my chest. "At the eyes of our family I am now an adult so your reason is abysmal at best."

He sounds displeased, but he agreed. "…Before we spread, Yozora- san, they were just blonde and red eyed people in our name. We were called one of the noble blood back then, wherein we are cultivated by heritage of incestuous linage of a brother and a sister for many generations. It was agreed upon at the time, to secure pure bloodline to take the wealth of our ancestors. Until the second son of our sixth ancestor and the youngest daughter were made… rats for experimentation of the vile heir."

"An heir who starts this vile distrust in us, I presume." I spoke, letting my lips into a straight line.

"Not quite. He is a catalyst. He was a genius- Hector, the first of our name on par with Galileo, so his worked was praised as he had used his siblings as guinea pigs. Incestuous tradition out of his mind. He had made potions and medications that created mutation and abnormalities in genetics. He had forcefully used into our great great grandmother Victoria and had made his younger brother raped her until she was pregnant with twins. One with blonde and red eyes, and other with blue hair and red eyes. Hector was overjoyed, so he had done it again and again until he killed his brother and Victoria died of the last childbirth. That leaves five blonde hair and red eyes and eleven children with different colors of hair and eyes."

I barely nodded, patient as he catch his breathe.

"When he died, the children were now fine men, but they have so much distrust. The doted ones, Hector called his sons were thirsty of the family wealth, the sons who he didn't give a damn was in for a share wealth for all of them, the most cordial of the sons. The lab rats were… well, had been completely left forgotten if they have not spark a revolt. They had murdered the favored sons, except those cordial. They didn't want to share, they want to take it with themselves. But the cordial sons were outrage, and had made a ruse to obtain the wealth on their own. They are to bed a woman, and whoever would have a child with blonde hair and red eyes of our ancestors, would be having the inheritance all on his own. They agreed. The experimented son, Franco has a head on his shoulders. He had blonde hair with blue eyes. He discovered a whore of his late father and had birthed a child with brown hair and red eyes. So he used her and she bears him his daughters. Twin girls with blonde hair and red eyes. He took inheritance without hearing to his brothers, living a short happy life until one cordial son appeared, bearing a son with the same palette as the twins."

"And there goes war and immediate family rising into different relatives, on the heels with the Will." It is quite morbid, but it was the history of the distrust and the past sigma; Wit. Blood. Wealth.

Quite contrary I thought, that such thing were made excusable in an era where Christianity were being spread. But then, society itself has been raised not from heroes and with a clean heart for the people, but those with wealth, wit and clever manipulation of laws.

An image of blonde hair and green eyes graze my head.

My sister.

I ground my teeth together. It is no accident I am here after all.

From the generations and beyond of Verona, twins are born. The probability passing in genes are in half beyond recognition. It was not a coincidence, I am simply unfortunate to be gifted with their genetics. However, I still have an important question in hand.

"Tell me, is the tradition we had still acceptable?"

"Killing? I thought-"

"Incestuous relationships." I cut him off, fixing my stare into a lone man with his hands on a female's waist, identical faces on his own caressing his arm. They looked siblings by far, and another pair inside a circle with a man on a lady's protruding belly, pregnant. They too, looked identical.

"… I never thought you like your sister that way." He slowly replied, chuckling to himself.

I felt my brain halt and I blink at him in comprehension.

"I don't… I'm not interested to my sister in any way." At least, that is what I believed.

Even in my life as Roxanne, certain attractions had not peaked itself as an interest or worth of a time to waste. Furthermore, I felt no obligatory thoughts for a relationship in any gender or physical attractions most teenagers had enjoyed. I was repulsed instead, disgusted even. I have thought of myself lesbian before, wherein I see women as beautiful and men categorized as; those who has a face, ugly and 'Huh. You have a face I notice, you have done well'.

And yet, I realized it was merely an appreciation of their beauty. It was a fluxed of physique. Not an attraction in a romantic sense.

So I uncategorized myself not lesbian; just loveless.

I am in a strange predicament where I will treat everyone equally, or when a possible love interest proposed my mind would always contributed to the fact that I only have a sole reason to refused them: 'I do not like commitment.'

But to be accused of having a nonexistent attraction to my sister is appalling. I loved my sibling a sister would do. And fortunately, I saw her not with me, but with a woman tied in our family- a cousin even, who will make her heart bleed.

"I'm generally speaking. Don't take things in a wrong way." I added, with a void voice out of its commission.

He looked unconvinced but he avoided it nonetheless. "It was still encouraged with cousins. The best way to avoid being killed is to ally yourself with others. Those who have incestuous relationship with their siblings have not been granted protection, but their children can be a substitute to the contract. And the others who married off into an outsider are used to spread Verona's reputation. However, they are expected to have a child marry with a relative."

Cousins. Siblings. Relative. That's his exact words. I felt my eyebrow raised a little.

I spied two women in a very close proximity with each other, whispering in others ears. I saw two men in tux at the very corner, hands intertwined.

"Gay relationships are acceptable." I breathed in realization. I felt him leave, but I was in so much awe before I was startled of the sound behind me.

A single chime of glass wine brought those attentions to me, zeroing in my baffled form. The crowd was coated in silence as they gaze at me with different reactions.

I blinked in confusion, until I turned and saw Sam with the glass and spoon, returned to the waiter. He gave me a smile while I gave him my barest of nods. I'm still accustoming into the ambiance, still not ready to part my mouth and gave speech without a hint of even a starting call. But I have my shield up, mind incorporated to be.

Now I stood there, frozen at the impromptu notice when five men and three beautiful women in black with different rings stepped forward amongst the crowd. All with reddish orange eyes. I recognized the five men who visited me but incline my head to the three women who bear an astonished impression. I spared a quick glance behind them, seeing familiar looking faces of one pink haired vixen's parents.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Shey nodded to the crowd, his voice echoing into them, clear and appealing. "Thank you for coming, and I… apologize for the delay to these assembly and.. uh, I would like to introduce the presence of this young lady," he then puts a hand on my shoulder, cementing the surprised in their gasps and young teenager's accusatory tone shush by their parents.

I looked into his hand, then back at his face.

He might have feel my glare, as he looks down at me and point out my obvious disgust of his hand's location. He left it not moments after. "The head entitled by the jury of inheritance, passed by the late head of the family, deceased Grizelda. I present the new head, Yozorako Verona."

They have no compassion when grandmother's name was mentioned. As if mere passing wind. They must've an inkling of dislike towards the deceased woman. However, when my named was uttered, they had seemed incredulous and in for different expressions. I roamed my eyes unto them once again and caught the same girl as before. Green hair in curls, shoulder length with a fringe to hide her right eye. She looks amazed and is horrified.

… I don't know why she has that look.

I observed them until the end, and when I presumed they were to bow I told in the coldest voice of "Don't." ,louder than I willed it be. They were post- motion puzzled as I tried hard not to turn red at the pain in my chest and indignity. I cannot hide my humiliation of being the center of attention, nor the uncomfortable shame it evoke in my person, but I didn't retract my words. I lived to it.

I do not want anyone bowing to me as if I'm some type of person to be respected enough to warrant such action. I have never done anything yet nor were I prove myself to them. Moreover, seeing as mostly the age group is far older than I bowing in a sort of submission do not bode well in me. Even if our history suggest I will.

So with a confidence I entirely don't have, I willed myself to the oldest uncle of mine- Frederico, pull his hand in front of me so I could bend and place the back of his hand in my temple.

It is the proclamation of respect, something entirely unique of Filipino culture, where the younglings would 'mano'- an action by placing the back of hand to the young's forehead to receive a blessing- that shows adoration and submission to their teaching.

Even if they don't know the real meaning behind my actions, it speaks greater than the words I didn't uttered. They heave gasps and widened eyes, but it didn't matter, as I look into my Uncle Frederico's eyes. His spirit shine brightly, a smile tugged on his handsome face. He gave me a nod of affirmation and I trot into Uncle Chris, Uncle Gero, Uncle Michael and Uncle Richardo doing the same form of respect, all the while being granted smiles and wonder in their eyes.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked me again, almost to the point I want to roll my eyes. But I nodded, not giving into pressure.

"I will done it again and again. This childish war is long overdue."

When I stepped into the line of women did I saw how tense they are. The first two let me with no small pause, as I kissed their hands and hold it seconds to my forehead. They look at me as if I'm from somewhere inhumane that it took me great courage to pull one hand to my face and steady it as I ask a silent confirmation of continuation.

The last woman who I hold pursed her lips, mauling it with her teeth before she broke the silence of the crowd, analyzing me, trying to see if what would benefit me. I am patient, I understand their hesitance in me submitting to them.

"We were raise to respect the head in which they deserved." She stated and I can't help but loudly scoff at it. She didn't take it well, furrowing her brows as she regards me with a hard stare. "As surprise as I am to find my mother's prized heiress is but a mere child, I expected her to teach you how to behave in front of us. A head do not bow, we do."

She did, in the last day we met. But what I heard was just an imperious person trying to mold her second being upon me. Who wanted me to rule with an iron fist, as much as she did.

"A head who does nothing to prove their worth is not a head to be respected. I deserved nothing of these treasures I have in my name, for I didn't work for it myself. Besides, a head who could not bow to inspect if her body is unharmed is with a serious problem of commanding it. Just look at what happened to grandmother's reign." I speak, for the first time that day, holding her stumped stare with mine, amplifying my voice so everyone would hear my rant.

I speak, boldly and laced with anger. Because it's one to ignore my belief that shapes my approached in life, but to be frowned upon and jab to change it for the propriety of others tradition, that, is something I could not get behind. "My crest may be Verona, but I am Yozorako. I am not my grandmother. My name is not Grizelda. I am my own person. I behave what I think what's right and I'll do what I think is fair." I soften my hold in her hands when I saw battered breathes.

"I'm still a child, yet tradition speaks I rule with might, a sole owner to the power where our family organized to build together. Something I didn't contribute. Something that was willingly given as if it was a mere toy by someone who doesn't guarantee to merit the family a reminder on where their wealth would go. Possessions formed by them, their hardships to raise our family noble, gone just to take by some head who works none but kill to get the inheritance that was supposed to be shared."

When no one intervened, it was Sam's voice that carries the crowd, kind and mature, with a glow on his voice I could not put my finger on. "That's the reason of this union isn't it? To share the wealth to our family?"

The crowd stirred when they heard 'share' and 'family' in the same word. They have zeroed on me, awaiting my next words. It makes me laughed, sadly it was not with happiness.

"You speak of family like it was a plague." I tried to joshed, but I know they would not laugh. It is a plague for them. A curse, even. "Family is supposed to be a group of people who raise their home, who had a father to guide them, a mother to nurture them and children to attain their goals. I want to define that to our family, when you speak of ours. I want us to be in equal footing, was with support coming from each other. If it comes to it that by sharing the accumulated wealth is what makes that family come true then I will let it. But truly, though, share?" I shook my head at Frederico's pleased gaze, disgruntled. "I rather say 'return' the wealth every member of the family deserves."

The crowd vibrates with energy, as if they didn't think it factual. Some men looked at me as if I'm some puzzle, others distrustful and many disbelief. I return my eyes into the woman I'm holding, trying not to chuckle at her mystified expression. I gave her hand the overdue kiss and ready return besides Sam and Shey, who awaited me with radiant faces next to Frederico. I gulped as a tremor leaves my chest down to the other parts of my body.

Unfortunately, I need to retreat.

"You… are one weird child." The woman whispered and I spared her an answer, void of anything else.

How could I refute if it is true. I gripped my sleeve on my right hand, keeping the tremors in there.

"You placed me besides Plato and Einstein- thought weird but had contributed much. Takes one to know one, I presume." I replied, walking away to the crowd still watching me like a hawk into Frederico whom I approached.

He kneeled, to accommodate my height and let me leaned on his ear.

"Gather the fathers and discussed everything we had planned."

"There was no return in this, child." He rumbled, but I nodded nonetheless. "Aren't you going to come with me?"

I shake my head a little, my breathe now have the same shakiness in there. "I can't. They wouldn't listen to a child, let alone be ordered by one. Men are like that, but with you and the others they will. Besides, I need to get out. I have reached my limit." I told him quietly, motioning for Sam and Shey to leave the room with me. I caught the familiar red eyes of the green girl before the door close behind me and I hugged myself tightly.

I have too many excitements for a bare five minutes.

The drawbacks on having a mask of my past self has to consume into a tight turn when one hinted of my strange behavior and I would be a puddle on the street not minutes after. True, a child like me, even my spirit was not, is still honing its instinct to the world; to know of what is right for its survival and by doing that, is to act like one even if I'm not. It was a close call and I have maintain my unruffled form without feeling even an ounce of pain in my chest, talked to them like they were the children.

But it was mentally exhausting and scary when my emotions suddenly slammed back.

I needed to refill my quota of confidence.

I need some space.

I felt my knees buckled. I almost fall forward if not for the hands at my shoulders stopping my descend. My visions blurred but I still had the propriety to looked at my savior.

A familiar savior, with black hair and violet eyes.

The room stilled in silence, as I saw that eyes glow in recognition.

Mine must have mirrored his expression, until he sighs in relief, joy fill his eyes.

"You're alive…"

My heart skipped a beat.

"W- what?" I stuttered, feeling a huge dread form in my heart as Sho Aihara analyzed my body with barely restricted joy.

"Don't you remember?" A pause. " Of course you won't. You're still a child back then… I was the one who saved you from the car crashed seven years ago."

It hurts.

It hurts!

IT HURTS!

"Daddy~!" I cried, coughing and hacking blood in my mouth. I pushed the board out of my lap but it's stuck and it hurts and I can't get out and it burns and IcantbreathedaddyisnotmovingwhereamIwhathappened!

I wailed as best as I could when there's salty water in my nose and mouth, struggling to free my aching body because there are holes. There's something in the holes! It hurts, I can't- I can't move and I'm crying because there's red pooling and daddy is color red and he has a bag and his head is-

Where's daddy's head?

I breathe deeply, clutching my heart as I remembered a morbid vision of Yozorako's childhood nightmare.

But it was in the past.

I am not afraid.

I am more concern of my heart right now.

"I… see…. Excuse me." I flinched at my rudeness but I must. I bowed quickly after I step away from him into Shey's awaiting arms. I gave him a short nod before I motioned for us to leave, trying not to look into his eyes.

I bit my lip as we passed him, making it bleed and taste the familiar tang of blood in my tongue.

I need to get away from him.

I need an ungodly needed space.

"Yonee- chaaan~!"

I knew it.

"Matsuri- chan…." I weakly mumbled, huffing as a body slammed into Sam who stopped Matsuri from reaching me, leaning into a bench with a pale face.

"Who're you!? That's my Nee-chan~!" she yelled, trying to pull the hood in Sam's hands, unhappy and disturbed.

"I do not believe you're related to her in any way." He shut back, voice colder than he used on me. I saw Matsuri stopped struggling, but she was with anger in her eyes.

"I'm Yonee- chan and Yuzu- chan's youngest sister! We play all weekends!"

"Hmm…" Sam hummed, but it was in amusement, something that Matsuri didn't catch as she fights for a second time, struggling to break free.

"Yonee- chaaaan~!" her voice might be angelic but it further amplify my agony. It reminds me of my voice in the accident and the wails of my anguish in seeing-

"Sam…" I hushed, wilted as I can be, stopping my train of thoughts. "I knew her. Let her go." I placed my face on my crooked arm, trying to stop the dancing tremors in my head and the shudders slithering in my skin.

I felt someone sat next to me and was ready to touched my other hand. She stopped. Just shy of it before she holds into my sleeve, just like those times when I'm at home.

"Nee- chan?" she sounds worried, lowering her voice as she can possibly can and I couldn't help but place my shaky hand on her lap, trying to assure her in my less stellar moments such as this.

"Don't worry…" even whispering takes as much energy as I can get. I closed my eyes, trying not to think deeply. "… Just the same goosebumps on my skin. The tingles are real."

"Did someone touched you? Did they have cooties?"

"Yes… they have. Why…. You here?"

"Kaa- chan and Tou- chan's in meeting right now, they said to wait for them in the car and then I saw you so ta- da~." She whispered, but her voice is with cheer. Just like Yuzu.

Geez. I gulped.

Yuzu's going to kill me.

I might laughed but I'm in serious upheaval of panic attack right now, so I just tap her lap weakly, trusting she knows my actions through many years we've been close. She is quite perceptive I can tell.

"Where's Yuzu- chan?" she asked, but I dare not reply. My tongue was made of lead. Heavy and unresponsive.

My chest is heavy. The air too clean, too open.

My legs are numb, my chair too hard.

The background voice irritates me as if it was next to my ears. I hate feeling the touch of clothes in my body. It's itchy, too close to skin.

I hear a voice answered her, but it was muddled as my senses blurred and weakens me even more. With a great will I pushed my body to lean into Matsuri, trying to find her familiar scent and regulate my breath.

"Mama…" I croaked, pulling out the mask in my mouth as I blinked at my mother scooted next to me. I was using her arm as a pillow, making my head absolutely blissful into the satisfying comfort only a mother could have.

I have felt her move her head to look at me, and I slowly meet her gaze half- way.

She's smiling at me, tinge with sadness and patience as I roamed about the room with my eyes.

"How did I get home?" I asked weakly, pawing at her comfortable sleeping gown- kneading it too keep me calm.

"Sam drove you home when you fell asleep in Matsuri, darling. You gave them quite a scare."

"I didn't mean to…" I pouted, frowning. "It's not like I can control my urges to panic."

"Then maybe next time bring some inhaler and medicine to help you, hm?"

"Did Yuzu- nee knows about me feinting?"

"She's asleep when you arrived.. maybe four or five hours ago? Don't worry, I won't tell her if you don't want to."

"My concern is Matsuri."

"Ah. That, I can't help baby."

"And the meeting?" I asked the most important question, looking at her eyes to see a semblance of doubt and lies. But I saw none, merely patience of a mother to a child.

"Don't think too much of it, honey…" she rubbed my arms and I scoot at her all the more. "Shey told everyone you have personal issues you need to concern with. Your uncle had handled it too well. He said you're plan had succeed and was awaiting for you to be well to assign another schedule to date."

I inhaled deeply, burying my nose on her chest, indulging in the comfort of the soft mounds I remembered when I was just a babe. She lets me be, cradling my head as she plays with my hair. "I'm leading them… My gosh, mama... can you believe I'm leading them?"

She nods at me, whispering her sadness in my hair. "I recalled your father warning me of his family. They said they are dangerous, almost to a point were all of them will kill. But your father chose us over his own kin. Never will he realized you'll going to unite them, Yozora- chan. I know you'll be a great leader, my baby. But remember to always take care of yourself first, alright? I know how smart you are, but feel free to ask for help to those you trust."

"But what if I need to go away?" I told her, trying to give her the possibility that might happen to me.

Yet she didn't pause. She didn't sounds mad either. Better yet, she almost felt prideful, when she answered me with a lit in her tone.

"Then I will let you. If that is what your heart decides then carry on. I won't stop you. I love you too much for that."

I felt my heart ache.

However…

"I love you, mommy. I promise I will tell you if I can't anymore."

"I love you too, sweetie."

… It is a good ache.