Chapter six

Ed didn't know how long he'd been sitting there, only that he had cried himself dry. The pain in his chest was still tearing him apart and he had a blazing headache as well as the pain from where his eyes had been. He felt exhausted, but the pain didn't go away.

…Because Al wasn't there.

Al wasn't there and Ed was scared.

He was terrified.

Al had been there as long as he could remember.

Now Ed was all alone.

He was alone and scared and…

Lost.

He didn't have a purpose anymore. Al had a body again. Their goal had been to get their bodies back and then they would return to Resembool. Now everything was fucked up, Al was a baby who didn't even know what had been going on for the past twelve years of his life, Ed had lost even more of his body and they weren't even allowed to return to Resembool.

Everything had just stopped and Ed was alone.

"What am I even supposed to do now?" Ed said, his voice raw from crying and he felt thirsty just from saying those few words, causing him to automatically begin coughing violently.

"First of all, you get something to drink," he heard Mustang's baritone voice say from what Ed was pretty sure was the doorway, followed by footsteps approaching him as Ed kept coughing, his throat feeling like he had swallowed a hair. "Here, drink this," Mustang said, his voice filled with something like stern kindness, before suddenly pressing a straw into Ed's mouth. "It's ice tea."

Ed instinctively felt like hitting him just on principle for having listened in on something so personal, but instead he began sipping the drink as he lifted his hand to grab what turned out to be a large paper cup from Mustang. He was too thirsty to even care, plus it upped the chances of him being left alone again sooner.

And he knew that no matter how angry he was with Mustang, Ed owed him for spreading the word about Alphonse so quickly and widely that there was no way that the military could carry him off to some lab. And Ed owed him his own life as well. Mustang had covered for him twice after committing the Taboo and after Ed beat him up. And it pissed him off even more, because he owed the most annoying man in the world for something he could never repay.

And so Ed began slurping the cold beverage and letting it soothe his parched and raw throat. He was pretty sure he heard the Colonel leave the room, making him hopeful, only for the bastard to return a few seconds later, this time with something permeating the air with a smell very much like chicken nuggets and fries. "Now eat this," Mustang said as he placed a paper bag on his lap.

"You should go," Ed said hoarsely, not wanting to speak to anyone right now. He was still slightly afraid that Mustang would go back on his word if he figured that Ed was too much trouble. After all, Ed was messing up his life too with all that guardian stuff.

He heard Mustang move to lean against the edge of the desk next to him instead. "I would like to disagree. So eat."

Ed didn't even touch his food. "You should go to Al," he said again. Everything was just a mixture of pain and emptiness. Very much like the world around him. Dark and painful. "I want to be alone right now," Ed said, trying to stay at least a bit polite, considering the things the Colonel had done for him in these last few hours.

"Alphonse is together with four other people and he is happy as long as he's curled up in a blanket and gets to hold onto Gracia's thumb."

"So you think that your presence will make this better?" Ed asked irritably, wishing for the man to just leave him be. Mustang was really just the most annoying person on the whole planet with his smugness and egomaniacal mindset. "Your ego really knows no bounds, does it?"

"I told you to eat."

"And I told you to go, so it seems like none of us are listening to the other."

Mustang sighed. "Edward: eat."

"Piss off. I'll eat when I feel like it."

Of course his stomach had to rumble loudly at that point. "Seems like it's two against one," Mustang said. "I've got more ice tea for you too."

Ed instinctively threw the paper cup across the room, making the remaining liquid and the ice cubes slosh and rattle inside, regretting that he ever accepted the drink in the first place. One thing was to accept a glass of drink from someone because he couldn't get it himself and was in the middle of a coughing fit, another was to let Colonel Bastard boss him around like he suddenly knew what was best for him. He felt the hollowness slowly starting to get filled by rage and it felt a hell of a lot better than the empty, black void that pulsed with torment. "Fuck you, Mustang! I don't want you here, don't you understand that?! Are you really so self-absorbed that you can't even understand that I don't want to listen to your smug voice because you think you know better than me?! Just leave me the hell alone!"

"No. I'm not leaving," Mustang said calmly. "And you will eat that because you need to eat, Edward."

"Fuck you! And stop calling me by my first name!"

"So what do you suggest I call you? I'm your legal guardian now and calling you Elric doesn't really sound like an option, considering the fact that you'll be living with me for the next five years at least."

"JUST PISS OFF, WILL YOU!?" Ed shouted, feeling even angrier at the reminder. "AND TAKE YOUR DAMN FOOD WITH YOU!" he yelled and slammed the paper bag on the desk next to Mustang.

"Edward, I'm not leaving. And you need to eat something. I figured you preferred that over that sludge meant to resemble cauliflower soup that's being served for dinner."

Ed wanted so badly to glare at him, but that was pretty hard considering the fact that his eyes were currently attached to the self-proclaimed god who also had his limbs.

And dammit if it didn't anger him even further. "JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"No. Edward, you asked what you were supposed to do, and I'm telling you that you're supposed to eat."

Ed growled and slammed his hand on the desk. "YOU BASTARD! I HATE YOU!"

Roy just looked at the kid. He had made him angry on purpose just to get some sense of normality. Just because listening to that broken and dead voice was so wrong. Just because of that one short conversation with Hawkeye two years ago as they were rolling away from the Rockbells.

"That boy… I've never seen anyone look so defeated."

"That's what you saw? No, there was fire in those eyes."

That fire had always been there every time he had looked at the kid since.

Now Roy could no longer look at the kid to see if it was still there. His strongest association with Edward Elric's personality was gone, and so hearing him speak as if he'd given up was in many ways frightening.

And right now, he was in the middle of trying to rekindle that fire. And all it needed was a single spark.

"YOU BASTARD! I HATE YOU!" the boy screamed at him.

"Edward, you need to let me finish," Roy said steadily, knowing that the kid was currently pissed off, grieving and (hopefully) didn't really hate him. If he did, then that was something that they'd deal with later. Roy sighed and crossed his arms. "Because it's like I told you the first time I met you. I told you to keep moving, whatever it takes, even if the way ahead lies through a river of mud. That includes taking care of yourself. That includes drinking and eating and everything else, do you get me?" Roy asked him sternly. "And if you think that you have no purpose in life, then you are wrong. You still have your little brother. If you give up now, you are also giving up on him."

Edward growled, hanging his head for the next thirty seconds, his fist clenched tightly in his lap. Then he snatched the bag with the food with a grunt and opened it, muttering. "Manipulative bastard."

Roy sighed. "As always."

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