Here we go, people! It's the cheer-up chapter!

Chapter eighteen

"You know you can just take a shower while I dry my port and the spare leg, right? I mean, it woulda been awkward, but with ..." Ed held his hand in front of the bandages to prove his point, obviously not wanting to say to Roy the part about the blindness. His lips began trembling slightly and he bowed his head, letting his hand drop back to the floor. It was heartbreaking to see Ed this way. It was like he was trying to find out who he was now. He'd been almost joking a few times during the past fifteen minutes and then stopped midway like he couldn't get himself to think it was funny after all. Like everything just weighed him down too much to actually have enough spirit left to even try to act like his old self.

I made Roy's stomach clench. And right now, Ed was just sitting there on the floor in front of him, still undressed, like the boy had somehow forgotten or no longer cared about his dignity what with the loss of his sight.

Or maybe it was a cry for help. Roy knew that with most children when they found themselves hurt and scared, they wanted to be coddled and taken care of, even when they were fully capable of doing things themselves.

And it might just be that Ed was subconsciously acting on that very instinct. He said he needed Roy to help him and be there for him, which Roy intended to do, but now he was simultaneously pushing Roy away and begging to just be held tightly, leaving Roy a bit uncertain about just what he was supposed to do.

"I can fix that later, Ed. I'll help you dry your port and the spare so that we can go downstairs and get some food into you," Roy said kindly, kneeling down to help him, grabbing an extra towel.

Ed, however, seemed reluctant to accept. "But you really need a shower too, being sweaty and covered in sand isn't exactly comfortable," he said quietly.

Roy reached out, gently cupping Ed's cheeks. "Ed, seriously, you haven't eaten for about nineteen hours, you are still recovering from surgery and you've been in a sparring match. I can shower after we get some food and you're back in your bed," Roy told him kindly.

Ed seemed like he wanted to say something, but kept himself from doing so.

"Ed, what's wrong? You know you can tell me whatever's on your mind, right? I won't tell anyone," Roy said, worry growing. The last thing they needed right now was for Ed to shut Roy out.

Ed was quiet for a few seconds, before he spoke in barely more than a whisper. "I wanna hug you, but you're kinda itchy and... and smelly..."

Roy groaned inwardly, suddenly very aware of the stench of his own armpits and body in general. There was no way to fight that argument, but he really felt that he should make sure that Ed didn't feel seriously awkward about Roy showering while he was there. Roy even felt awkward about it. "Are you absolutely sure that you won't mind me showering while you're here?" In a way, Roy hoped that Ed would change his mind and just find the thought too awkward and act like the teenager he was supposed to be. But at the same time, Roy didn't really want to leave him in such a vulnerable state.

"It's okay... I'll just dry my port and the leg while you're doing it," Ed said quietly, grabbing a towel and starting on his shoulder port.

Roy stroked Ed's cheeks twice with his thumbs before standing up. "Then I'll go grab myself some new clothes."

Ed mhm-ed and Roy went back into his bedroom, quickly grabbing a pair of light blue pyjama trousers and a white t-shirt, before returning to the bathroom, locking the door behind him, suddenly realising that he should probably have told Ed it was him before he opened the door, but Ed didn't seem to care, but Roy couldn't tell if it was because the kid was so numb at the moment or if he had recognised it as Roy. He suddenly found himself wondering if Ed even knew it was him, his expression was so unreadable it was hard to tell. But if he said that it was him now, then that would only serve as a kind of reminder about Ed's disability and possibly tell the kid that Roy was underestimating him and thereby end up alienating him.

"Uh, that is you, right, Mustang?" Ed asked at apprehensively as a response to Roy's sudden state of frozen silence.

"Yes, Ed, sorry," Roy said, walking towards him, feeling awkward and sorry about his clumsiness. "I was just..." He sighed. "Ed, please don't take this the wrong way, but should I have said that it was me before I opened the door? Do you want me to do that or not? I don't want to make you uncomfortable by saying things that are unnecessary."

Ed bowed his head at that. "Oh... I ... I guess that i-if you like talk to me is... is good. Just like "I'm back" or something," he said quietly, and Roy could tell that his lips were trembling again. This had been another cruel reminder about Ed's blindness because Roy had been acting stupid.

He cursed inwardly. "Okay, Ed, I'll remember that. I'll tell the others as well," he said, hoping he was doing things right, but not exactly sure. "I'll try to be quick so that I can join you with the drying." Roy intentionally said "join" instead of "help", hoping that it would mean that he didn't rub it in even more.

"Thanks... b-but please use as much time as you need, going to bed covered in sand isn't comfortable..." Ed said, and Roy could hear the fact clear as day that the kid was speaking from experience.

Roy walked past him, knowing that with Ed's selflessness, the kid was probably going to feel really bad if Roy actually neglected to take care of himself too in favour of helping Ed. He reached out and squeezed Ed's left shoulder gently on the way over to the bathtub. "Very well, then, Ed," he said, taking his hand away as he took the last few steps over to the tub. He felt awkward as he shed his clothes and then stepped inside the bathtub, pulling the shower curtain closed before he placed the showerhead back inside the bracket further up on the wall. He knew that he couldn't make further conversation once he began showering as the sound of their voices when trying to make themselves heard over the running water was bound to wake the house's other occupants.

And so the water was turned on and Roy was left inside a watery, warm bubble of musing over everything that was happening.

Roy would be lying if he said that this whole situation wasn't terrifying, because Ed was right, Al was probably going to grow up seeing Roy as his father. Question was if that role would come to be a reality between him and Ed too. He supposed that it was heading in that direction with how dependant Ed was on Roy now and how Ed was in reality not very likely to move out at age eighteen when Al would only be five. He could never imagine Edward leaving just when Al reached an age where their relationship would actually be something Al would be capable of remembering when he was an adult.

That didn't mean that Roy was prepared to be a father of all things. Of course, it was something that would happen gradually and be a role that would come naturally, he hoped, over time, if or when that happened.

He felt like swearing at the thought, though. After everything that had happened to those two, after every single blasted setback and loss of family and friends, they would end up with Roy Mustang, the man who was a mass-murdering bastard who just happened to be the one who dragged them into the hell that they were now stuck in. They deserved someone so much better than himself. They deserved a fucking break. But they didn't get one.

And for some reason, the coherent one was using Roy as a lifeline. He had grown dependant on Roy in a way that if Roy suggested that they find someone better, then he'd interpret it as his last hope trying to escape from him. Who wanted to leave him just like that bastard father of theirs.

By trying to tell the kid that he should run to someone better because Roy burned everything he touched and those two were charred by him more than enough already, he'd end up telling Ed that he was giving up on them when they needed him the most.

Which meant that the only option he had was to keep them close and do everything he could to care for the wounds he had inflicted. And even if the wounds would heal, the scars would still remain because he couldn't undo the things he had done.

And Roy would never leave those two. They were his responsibility. They were his wards.

...His kids.

He froze slightly as be moved to turn off the water.

Because it was true. The Elrics were in his care. They were his wards. They belonged to him now by some cruel twist of fate.

And they were stuck with him. They needed to be stuck with him because Roy was Edward's guide dog. He had sealed the contract with a "woof". Ed needed him to pull him out of the dark hell he was lost in. They needed to be completely reliant on Roy being there, because if Roy disappeared, then Ed's demons would pull him even deeper into his despair, and if so, then Roy might not be able to get him out. He couldn't let that happen. Because if it did, then he'd fail both boys again.

He had to be there. Always.

And he wanted to. Not because of guilt or because he was the only option. He didn't even know how to explain it. He needed to do it. He just...

I owe them that. I owe them that and I won't give up on them and—

"I'm adopting you," Roy said, his hand on the shower knob that had just been twisted ninety degrees to the right to turn off the water, which meant that the statement had been fully audible.

Then the realisation of what he had just said sunk in and he froze.

"Wh-what?" came Ed's voice.

Roy found himself reluctant to pull away the shower curtain so that he'd be able to see Ed's reaction to the words he had just spoken. He found himself reluctant to move away from his slightly bent forwards position, still gripping the shower knob. He found himself reluctant to ever open his mouth again in fear of such damning words escaping him.

And yet he did. "I'm adopting you."

"I, uh, but you said..." Ed began, obviously stunned by the abrupt statement.

God knew Roy was too.

"I'm not forcing you to be my son, so don't get me wrong here," he began saying, leaving himself a bit anxious about where exactly he was going with this. It was like his emotional self was currently just along for the ride that his logical self was controlling. "But what I mean is that if I were to assume the role of being your legal father, then no matter what happens, I'll get to stay with you. As of now, if I were to get injured on duty, say breaking my spine, leaving me paralysed from the waist down, then you two would most likely be assigned a new guardian as I won't be able to fulfil my duties as your bodyguard. Also, paired with what happened to you, then any sort of event that would prevent me from being able to assist you and provide you with the needed support could mean that I will be deemed unfit to look after you. Basically, if I break my arm, they could even deem it necessary for you to end up in someone else's care for the period that my arm's healing, because even if Maes and Gracia are staying with us, then assisting and caring for two babies and a guardian with a broken arm could mean that the one who needs the most protection and assistance will be sent off for weeks and even months so as to make sure that your needs are covered sufficiently. The arrangement that we have at the moment is only ideal as long as I'm in good health. And you know just as well as I do that I have a job where the risk of me being shot or injured in general is a lot higher than most," he said. He had to admit that the reasoning was sound.

"You didn't tell me that," Ed said quietly. "That our staying with you was that precarious." The kid was hurt, that was obvious.

Roy found himself moving at an impressive speed as he quickly found himself dripping wet, a towel tied around his waist and with Edward on his lap, the boy not saying anything else, meaning that Roy had quite possibly managed to break his trust in his attempt at strengthening it. He held the pale boy close to his chest, resting his chin on the top of his head. "Edward, please, I didn't think about it myself before now, which is why I'm trying to find a solution to keep that from happening."

In answer, Ed reached up and placed his hand on Roy's cheek. "Do you really mean it? Or have you... Were you told that by the Führer and kept it from me so that I wasn't going to be worried?"

Roy realised that Ed was using the hand on Roy's cheek as a kind of lie detector, trying to pick up on any facial expressions that might indicate a lie.

"Edward, I swear. I didn't know about it, but it makes sense that that is how it would be. Führer Bradley only told me that he was extending the guardianship as the commanding officer of a minor to be a permanent one that involved me being able to protect you should anyone seek revenge on the two of you. But with the reasoning behind the way you two can't be under care of Pinako Rockbell, it only makes sense that those things should apply to me too," Roy explained quickly. "That won't be a problem if I were your adoptive parent, because that is a far more permanent position that would instead require that you were given additional protection should I be injured, instead of me being replaced and you two assigned a new guardian. My guardianship was ordered by the Führer. You need to understand that the second I am deemed unsuitable, the Führer can easily terminate my guardianship and assign you to another officer. The less officers that are required, the better, now that you have been discharged."

Roy felt disgust coursing through him as another thought struck him, but he wanted to discuss that part with Maes because that would definitely be a strong worry for Edward until the adoption was sorted out if he was proven to be right. "Which is why I would have a right to keep you two if I were your adoptive father, unlike the way I am now. Please don't think that I've been keeping that back from you, Ed. I should have thought about it sooner, but I... I've been rather stressed these past two days," Roy told him, hugging him tighter. "I'm going to call the office of the Führer as soon as him and his secretary arrive at eight o'clock."

"You... you're seriously going to ... to adopt us just to keep us?" Edward asked.

"Yes, I am," Roy told him, hugging him tightly, feeling fear build in his chest at the urgency of the matter.

He hadn't considered how expendable he was, he had been too caught up in becoming the Elrics' guardian, that he hadn't thought of how easily that could be taken away.

And with the way things had gone, that could never be allowed to happen. He wasn't failing them. He couldn't do that.

"You... you're one hell of a guide dog," Ed said, sounding stunned and scared at the same time.

It was almost five in the morning when Roy had Edward back in bed, the kid having fallen asleep fairly quickly once his head hit the pillow. Roy hoped it had something to do with the hand that was gently stroking his hair and Roy's constant reassurances that he wasn't going to leave them.

Roy's nerves were on edge. He needed to talk to Maes, but he needed to do so alone, but that meant leaving Edward in here.

And so he suddenly found himself walking around to create an alternative, ending up taking his own pillow and an old coat, transmuting them, and making them into a forty-centimetre plush sheep that carried Roy's scent, hopefully efficiently enough to help with Edward's nightmares without Roy actually being in the room to look after him.

He grabbed the plush sheep, which had a dark brown colour and whose fur (because plush toys had fake fur, even if they were birds) was very soft and long. Roy then gently lifted away Ed's arm in order to place the sheep under it, before covering him up with his blanket.

Roy stroked his left cheek a few times. "Edward, I swear, I'm not going to let anyone take the two of you away from me. I'll keep staying here to be your guide dog for as long as you need me to. And I'm sorry that I'm making such a permanent decision to your lives like this, but the alternative may prove to be far worse, and I can't let that happen," Roy whispered.

Then he stood up, taking a last look at Ed, who was sleeping peacefully, now snuggling with the plush sheep, pressing his face into it.

Roy walked quietly into the hallway, closing the bedroom door behind him, before he headed for the guest bedroom. Knowing that knocking on the door was a sure way to have the whole house wake up due to cranky-as-hell-babies, he only scratched his fingernails against the door twice, knowing that his best friend wasn't a deep sleeper who had a lot of military instincts drilled into him.

Sure enough, fifteen seconds later, the door was opened and Maes was standing there in his blue pyjamas patterned by rubber ducks. He only needed to take one look at Roy to quickly and silently walk out into the hallway with him and close the door, speaking in whispers.

"Roy, what's up?" he asked, his face filled with worry.

"Maes, I'm adopting the Elrics to keep them no matter what may happen to me. I don't doubt that the Führer is going to turn those kids into a way of boosting the military's reputation, meaning that their living arrangements are likely to be based on the public's opinion. Which might very well mean that either they will cheer for me or demand that Ed and Al are moved to someone else who are "healthier" for them due to my reputation as a mass murderer using flames. Either they'll be happy that I'm one of the most celebrated and feared State Alchemists and will make a good bodyguard because of that, or that will be exactly why they want the Elrics as far away from me as possible. Also, my guardianship is very likely to be terminated should I be indisposed due to heavy injuries. That can't happen either. It's damn likely that we'll find a piece on the matter in a few days, and when that happens, I'll either be hated and lose the boys, or I'll be celebrated until the next time I get shot."

Maes looked a bit stunned, and yet not surprised at all as the cogs in his mind started working. "But as their legal father, the public's opinion won't matter much, but most will see it as a very positive thing that the military takes care of their own in such a way. Because Ed and Al are just kids, people will be furious that the military let something like that happened to them, so telling them that the Elrics are now the adoptive sons of Ed's previous CO and is being properly guarded and cared for by you, they can't control whether you'll get to keep them or not because you have the right to stay with them as their parent," he said, eyes widening. "Have you told Ed?"

"I've told him some, but not the part about the military, I wanted to hear if you agreed with me first."

Maes sighed and then put a hand on Roy's shoulder. "Then I suggest you tell Ed as soon as you've talked with the Führer. Do you want me to keep you company until you can make the call?"

Roy smiled. Maes Hughes was a good friend, no doubt about it.

Even if, once the adoption process was in order, Superdad was definitely throwing a party or similar, or at least squeaking and buying Roy cameras and albums as a "Daddy Starter Kit" or something.

And thank you so, so much for your reviews, so please keep them coming!

(But, as always, no flames ;))