Chapter 7

…Into Themselves

What have I done? … Gaara watched in slow motion, cheek and chest pressed to the cold hard floor as he was being held down rather hesitantly. Shinobi ran in every direction possible, someone was shouting orders, someone else was screaming for help and other was cussing. The chaos itself had unfolded.

The Hokage ran to the blonde girl on the floor, fear and concern written on her face. She held her face surprisingly gently but clumsily calling her name. Tsunade shook her then checked her pulse. The woman looked frightened.

Blonde hair swished and lifeless arms hung by as Naruto was carried down the hall. Probably to the Hokage's personal cabinet. The rushed clicking of heels against the stone floor stopped and Tsunade stood before Gaara. His cheek was pressed onto the cold stone, guards still held him, although loosely. They wouldn't dare be rough with a Kage. It might turn against them. The man was pale and his expression was void. His eyes… were like a whole village with all its people was closed into glass bubbles and was screaming for help before the burning fire of hell itself breaks loose and having nowhere to run.

The woman seemed uncertain. She made a sign for the guards to let him and she, too, walked down the round hall.

Gaara slowly, even unknowingly, sat up kneeling.

He felt like he was underwater and had stayed without air for far too long.

He looked down at his hands then stared back to where they had taken the girl.

"What have I done", he whispered this time.

Gaara splattered cold water on his face and refused to look in the mirror. He wouldn't recognize the man there anymore. Losing composure, attacking people, hurting Naruto – Naruto… Just what had happened? He touched his lips. It had felt, unlike many things in his life, right. Perfect. And then there was this ugly tearing feeling nestled deep inside of him, eating at him, infuriating his previous guilt. It's already been an hour… it couldn't have been two or three even, could it? How long has he stayed locked inside that bathroom… Felt like weeks. He didn't want to go outside.

Why, why, oh why have things gone so wrong? How was he supposed to face her now, just when he-

"Come on, little bro, you have to get out some when, you know that. Can't stay in there forever!" No answer followed. Gaara ignored the muffled voice. "Look, I don't what happened and by the looks of it neither do you. Yeah, you fucked up. But as long as you keep yourself locked in there, you sure as hell ain't gonna fix anything. I kno-"

"Spare me your life prophesies and philosophies, Kankuro" Gaara interrupted in his stern voice and exited the small bathroom. The redhead awkwardly shifted his pale gaze from his brother and went to his gourd, carefully propped up by the awful brown couch. Lean fingers played with the straps and the young Kazekage didn't want to look or talk to the man behind. His brows were furrowed and the occasional bite graced his soft lips – a rare habit.

Kankuro scratched his messy head,

"Look, little bro, you're probably embarrassed by … what you… did with this girl… I mean, it was kinda hot but it was in front of everyone and, you kn-"

"Did she wake up?" Gaara interrupted again, unintentionally letting genuine emotions and affection lace his otherwise rigorous deep voice.

Kankuro seemed taken aback. Was his brother…concerned? Not just embarrassed as he thought he'd be?

"N-… Uuh, no," he cleared his throat "No. Tsunade-sama is with her. She asked about you – told her you needed some time alone."

"Is N-" guilt surged through him and made him bite his tongue. He couldn't say her name evev. "Is… she going to be fine?" Gaara asked in a silent whisper. The lean fingers playing with the strap of his gourd stopped and he timidly waited for the response.

The older man sighed. "She can't tell."

Kankuro was silent. He stared at his little brother's back with faint surprise and thoughtfulness. At the answer, the boy clenched the strap and lowered his head. This is the weakest he'd ever seen his little brother… even when he didn't dare call the boy so.

This weakness… this unfeigned and genuine concern made him look… well, human, and it was scary just how much of the calm and powerful Kazekage was a mask.

Kankuro stepped closer, "why don't you go see her?"

"I can't," light shake of the head.

"Why not?" the older brother tried placing a hand on the man's shoulder, but the other shifted his stance, not welcoming signs of affection at the moment. Kankuro tsked. He was being too hasty. It was the mask again.

"Look, Gaara. She went berserk too. It's not all your fault, you know. Sure, you two... kissed, which was totally weird-"

"It wasn't just a kiss."

"Yeah, exactly, it was more of a berserk make out," Kankuro scratched his head awkwardly remembering his stoic little brother roaming viciously the girl's body, thrusting brutally against her and, oh god, the way they kissed, how they fucking kissed, for god's sake! The man blushed madly and clicked his tongue. "The point, little bro, is that she attacked someone as well, hell, she almost sent the poor guy into a coma and-" at the menacing gaze that Gaara directed at him, he chocked on his words. Heavy silence hung in the room as Gaara shifted his intense gaze to the wall ahead.

"Kankuro… Do you think she hates me now?" came the silent question in a voice so fragile and child-like that Kankuro blinked. Just who was this girl to make this so powerful and composed man sound like he's about to break any moment now?

The older man tried to shrug off the question and sound positive and assuring, "of course not," but ended up only sounding pretended and nervous.

Gaara turned around hesitantly, but still didn't lock eyes with his brother, "I care about her." He looked away again.

"I know." Kankuro smiled gently. He felt his little brother closer than ever. Kankuro was a ladies man, but he knew about feelings. "Come. I'll take you to the Hokage's cabinet. She's there."

"I know where she is. You go… I'll come by later." Under the heavy doubtful gaze of his brother, Gaara added, "I will," and finally locked eyes with the other man. The sternness he ruled a whole village with was back, although still tinted with buried emotions, genuine revelations and fears.

Oh, the fear.

Kankuro nodded and went for the door.

"Kankuro," the latter stopped and turned to look back at Gaara who was staring outside the window. He saw him clench his fists in uncertainty.

"… Thank you…brother."

Oh, the fear.

"Damn brat, always causing trouble, dammit!" murmured the Hokage, but the concern in her voice was audible. And visible on her face. She had tried everything, done anything she could. The little brat continued just lying there! Barely breathing, not even an eyelash fluttering. If it wasn't for the shallow breathing she would look absolutely dead… And if this all was what she thought it was…

The Hokage bit her thumbnail.

"God dammit, I need the Kazekage to be sure!" she stated more to herself than to the other people in the room and shot for the door with furrowed brows and a determined expression.

"He said he'd come on his own!" almost shouted Kankuro and stood in her way to the door. The woman pushed him away with surprising strength, "I don't have time to wait for him to think about the meaning of life and brood whole day while the gaki is lying there unconscious almost four hours already!" Tsunade went to open the furious, "if that little red-headed brat thin-… Kazekage!" Tsunade opened the door only to come to the view of said male just standing there.

"Gaara…" Kankuro threw the unconscious girl a look and then stared back at his brother, suddenly understanding and processing the boy's feelings about coming here.

"How long have you been standing there?" asked the Hokage incredulously and just a bit suspiciously.

"A while."

Tsunade stepped away from the door and Gaara came in slowly, not looking at anyone, not even Naruto. Heavy silence hung around.

"How are you feeling?"

"…Better."

The woman nodded. Gaara finally sneaked a look at the insensate blonde girl and the sudden bite on his lower lip did not go unnoticed.

"Is she going to be fine?" he asked, not looking away from the blonde. Tsunade furrowed her elegant eyebrows. She couldn't help but somewhat, be it unintentionally, blame the young man for the girl's current state. The Hokage exhaled heavily and threw her hands in defeat, "I don't know." The woman tapped angrily with her high heels to the same ugly brown couch the girl was placed on and brushed off a strand of golden hair from the blonde's face, "I tried everything. All my knowledge, I used it all." She cupped the girl's sun-kissed cheek, "I did everything I could to help her."

The oh-so-known heavy silence nestled once again.

They couldn't help her? The greatest medic-nin of their time, of the history known to shinobi, couldn't heal her? Couldn't unmake his mistake? His sudden insanity?

What has he done?

Oh, the fear! The fear that consumes you, the fear that spreads through your every nerve and cell, the fear of knowing you are the one responsible, the fear of the truth.

Oh, the tightened throat.

Oh, the beating heart, thump-thump-thump-thump, and ice-cold sweat.

Oh the panic, the fright. The uncertainty, oh the consuming horror - like flames, licking and kissing your skin lustfully just before burning and scarring it forever.

Oh, human emotions.

And oh, poor Gaara's fragile little heart.

Gaara had been having this urge, like an insight when you know you have to do something, you just know it, but different from the heat before.

And just as Tsunade was caressing Naruto's cheek, just as Kankuro was standing there and Shizune awaited orders, just as Shikamaru, who was in the room as well, and even after being injured was reading through scrolls and spacing off, just as the guards stood silently and unnoticeably in the corners of the room and outside the door… time stopped… and just then, Gaara's urge intensified. It struck him and put him down on his knees.

The young man clenched his fists. He made the determined steps to the couch Naruto was lying on, eyes wide, lips parted, so caught up in the moment that he pushed the Hokage away roughly who had stood in front of him, hands spread, not letting him lean to the girl, guarding Naruto from him as she felt the sudden change in the man's demeanor. Tsunade didn't let him anywhere near Naruto. Not with that crazed-out gaze. Not with anything.

"Hokage… Tsunade-sama… please," the young man let out. Pleading.

The woman thought for a moment… then tentatively and cautiously stepped away. She still had her eye on him. He sat down carefully and leaned in to caress the blonde's cheek. She looked so peaceful. She was absolutely beautiful.

Where was all this coming from?

Something was making him do this. Guiding him.

Gaara leaned in and breathed onto the place he had bitten her collarbone – something he had a vague remembrance of. Like the whole thing. Then a lean finger traced the skin gently.

A red mark with complex characters and signs appeared on the touched spot. It resembled a seal being formed, just like when you seal a contract and pour your blood on it. And it faded away just as quickly. The man slowly cupped her cheek and looked at her. He could feel her shallow breath, inches away from her calm face.

What did that mean? Gaara himself did not know, let alone anyone else in the room who were there silent, waiting.

So Gaara waited as well.

Nothing happened.

The Hokage grew even angrier and pulled him back by the shoulder offhandedly. She was outraged. She was going to kill him.

Oh, the fe-

Just then though, Naruto breathed in deeply and all fell silent. Heavy lids parted slowly. Tsunade's hand fell from the man's shoulder in surprise as she stared, holding her breath. Naruto's blurry vision allowed her to see only a haze of red hair, pale skin, teal eyes… such beautiful eyes…

She shot forward and sat up.

Her head was spinning. Surprise in her eyes. The nice kind of surprise.

"Gaara…" she whispered and cupped his cheek not believing she was seeing the man so unexpectedly after what, three years? Why was he here?

Wait, where was here, where the hell was she?

Suddenly, sparse images and a ball of sensations of Gaara's lips moving roughly and demandingly against hers and strong arms shamelessly grabbing her whole body flooded her mind… and oh god, how that made her feel.

She just stared at him, inches away, surprise and confusion had just been joined by embarrassment and flushed cheeks. Naruto looked away and Gaara stood up, turning his back to her and stepping away to the window. Tsunade leaned in and took the girl into a rare hug. Naruto was seemingly confused, she kept looking to and away from Gaara's back.

"Tsunade-baa-chan? Uuh, what happened?" Then she reached to touch her collarbone. Gaara observed with the corner of his eye. The girl seemed confused by her own action as there wasn't anything there. It didn't even hurt there. She shrugged it off.

"Naruto!" Shikamaru rushed and sat on the couch next to her much too energetic for his lazy persona. His head was bandaged, his sandals were rolled down to let injuries on his legs and knees heal and more bandages peaked out of his loose black shirt and across his chest where he was burned. "Oi, you all right?"

Naruto looked at him and his bandages dumbfounded. "Shika! What-"

And then she remembered.

It was like the girl was watching the scene from afar: a shinobi turning against their friend and attacking them suddenly. It was surreal. Soft rosy lips parted. She couldn't believe it had been her! Shikamaru was her best friend in the whole wide world, she owned him so much! How could she have possible hurt him? Naruto felt dizzy. She was short on air. Shikamaru furrowed his elegant eyebrows in concern. The blonde clutched her head and frantic murmurs left her lips as she rocked back and forward and wouldn't look at him.

"Hey, hey, hey, Naru," Shika gripped her arms and with a bit of a struggle managed to make her let go of her golden locks. "Hey, look at me," he lifted her chin gently, "it's okay." Naruto looked up at him with broken blue eyes. She reminded of a guilty little child about to cry. "Tsk, come here," and he pulled her to his chest. The girl tried pushing back but he held her tight and caressed her golden hair, "you're so troublesome. It's okay, Naru."

"No, it's not," came a muffled reply and the girl clutched his black shirt, "I hurt you and I don't even know why… and all these other people, are they all right?" she sniffed and Shikamaru brought her closer.

"That's what we're trying to find out, gaki," Tsunade butted in with unusual tenderness in her voice. The woman stepped closer and sat down on the couch as well, "and don't worry. Everyone will be just fine. And now that you're finally awake, I'll have to run some examinations on both you and the Kazekage here." Naruto looked over to Gaara hesitantly and saw him just nod in reply, still looking out the window. Somehow, the man knew when she was going to look over at him. He had just averted his gaze after witnessing the whole scene and was gripping the ledge of the window a bit too tight.

Naruto pushed back from Shika gently careful not to hurt him any more, "Okay," she let out, "when can I go home?"

"You're not going home, gaki. You're not allowed."

"Uuh?!" Naruto looked at Tsunade incredulously and suddenly had much of her usual cheerful demeanor back. "What do you mean I can't go home?"

Tsunade shot up and clenched her fist, "You goddamn gaki, don't make me repeat myself!"

"But I want home!"

Shika chuckled observing the familiar scene and crossed arms behind his head. A vane pulsated on Tsunade's forehead and she swayed her fist, "You snotty brat, don't question your leader! When will you learn! What if you go berserk again and this time go on a killing spree?" Instantly, the woman knew she had taken it too far. Naruto's lips pressed into a thin line, she looked to the side with furrowed eyebrows and clenched the jacket someone had covered her with while she was out. Shikamaru looked at Tsunade slightly accusingly, unhooked his hands from behind his head and caressed the girl's shoulder,

"Oi, Naru. You can come stay over at my place. I'll watch over you. Is that okay, Hokage-sama?"

Tsunade brought a hand to her chin to think for a moment. " Hmm… I guess that could be done. But not without ANBU guards around your house and the room she'd be staying in." They both looked at Naruto almost expecting her to start her usual protests. But none followed. She nodded, biting her lower lip. Gaara's knuckles went white from gripping the ledge of the window. It cracked under the pressure and drew attention to him.

"And you, Kazekage," addressed him Tsunade, "you can stay in the apartment you were supposed to stay in the first place. It will be guarded, the opposite is out of the question, and since it's the Hokage office building, guards are always around. I'm sure you understand. The given situation requires these measures."

"I understand," the man spoke for the first time since the girl woke up.

Naruto's breath caught in her throat. The voice! Gaara's voice… that beautiful husky voice... was the one haunting her, calling for her all along. Electricity shot mercilessly through her whole body and when Gaara pierced her with the very depth of his teal eyes, she knew he had felt it too.

The two of them only.

It was their little secret.

Later Tsunade made a quick checkup on Naruto only coming to the conclusion that she too, just like Gaara, was in perfect condition. When asked what she thought it was, the woman answered that the main examinations tomorrow will show and that she wasn't still sure. It was already twilight when she let them go and rest. Gaara went to his respective apartment in the building and ignored both Temari and Kankuro trying to talk to him. The man locked himself inside and dived into paperwork while guards stood both outside the door and window on the terrace. More watched over from the neighboring rooftops.

Naruto went with Shikamaru, took a quick shower and went to bed. She was really sleepy. The girl didn't really talk much, just told him she was sorry and asked him to sleep with her on the bed, she didn't want to be alone. "Of course," Shika had said and Naruto fell asleep with the feeling she is forgetting something important.

From his apartment, Gaara looked through the window into the thick darkness of the village torn by the occasional lamp. The guards on the terrace stiffened immediately. Gaara glared at them and they shifted awkwardly. "I know where you are. I can feel you" and he looked in the direction of the Nara residence. Without quite realizing it or not bothering to, the young man grinned and then the grin turned into a wide sinister smile with blood-freezing and glowing menacing eyes adoring it. An expression so demonic and sinister to its very core that the guards by the window stepped back and swallowed in fear. They both grabbed their kunai and made a signal for the guards from the neighboring roofs to get in position and hold back the Kage if it came to it.

But looking back to the dark room, they watched as the young man slowly walked to the bed, taking off his loose black shirt in the way. He went to bed. Just like that.

The guards sighed in relief and relaxed. They were just signaling the other troops that all was fine when they remembered…

…Wasn't the Kazekage an insomniac?

Under the sheets, Gaara cracked a sly demonic smile and with a chuckle licked his lips.

"Mine."

TBC...

Hi, guys! Yes, it's been forever, I know... I don't know what took me so long... a year, for pity's sake! I don't know guys. I just wanna say thank you for all your feedback, I read all of your reviews and check all of my alerts. Hope you like this chapter and I hope it's worth the long wait. Can you believe I wrote the first half of this chapter a year ago, then a bit more in december and finished it just the other day? And can you believe the story, the idea itself, has been in my head for more than 2 years?

Thank you all guys, I hope that we all will get to finish this story together. I worked hard and I hope it is worth your wait.

Thanks for reading. (:

P.S. The titles of this chapter and the previous one are connected... see for yourself. :)

Posted on 08-08-2014.