I drew a lot of inspiration from the manga for this chapter, so just as a warning: I decided to go with canon-compliant Izumi beatings instead of reality-compliant. Otherwise, it just wouldn't be Teacher.

So yes, Roy is gonna be sore tomorrow...

Enjoy! :)

Chapter twenty-three

Roy was pretty sure that the lamp on his nightstand shook as heavy steps approached him and he looked around to the doorway, hands still cupping Ed's cheeks.

Only to look up at a man who was as tall as Major Armstrong, but he was even more intimidating because his face was scary as hell.

...And he looked like he would crush you by sitting on you with just one knee.

...And he was growling.

...And for some reason, he was carrying a tray with a large portion of breakfast.

And then he looked at Ed and tears began streaming down his cheeks as he quickly handed the tray to Roy and then knelt down in front of Ed. "Hello, Edward, it's been a while."

"Sig? That's you, right?"

The giant began rubbing the top of Ed's head before bringing Edward's hand to his own cheek to let him feel his face. "Yes. And I'm very sorry about what happened."

"Yeah... Thanks for coming... So is Mason looking after the shop?"

"Yes." Then Sig turned to Roy. "You should eat that, Mustang. It's high in calories and you're going to need it."

Roy gulped at the same time as Ed, because there was no doubt in his mind that when someone like this said that, then Roy was very much going to need it.

"Thanks, Mr. Curtis." Roy just assumed that he must be married to Izumi.

The behemoth grunted.

And so Roy followed his orders from a couple of unknown civilians as he ate, followed Ed to the bathroom and changed himself. Soon enough he was walking out into the garden where Izumi stood waiting, her arms crossed.

Roy walked over to her, holding out his hand, figuring that formalities were a good way to begin this rather involuntary apprenticeship. "Well, I suppose I ought to introduce myself properly, Mrs. Curtis: it's Colonel Roy Mu-"

Then Roy was lying flat on his back, wheezing, with his head pounding and slightly confused as to how the hell she had managed to flip him over like that.

She was glaring down at him, her arms crossed. "From now on you will address me as "Teacher". And as a bodyguard you should not let your guard down in such a way. Now get up," she ordered him sternly.

Roy was beginning to realise just why Ed feared her so much. And how lucky he was that his garden was covered in soft grass. She obviously didn't care that he was a military officer. Or that he could have her arrested for attacking him in such a way.

In a strange way it was a kind of liberating terror.

And so he sat up, looking at her. "Could I just add that I haven't actually agreed to an apprenticeship?" Roy asked her, barely resisting the urge to rub the back of his head.

That earned him a sandal to his face and another harsh meeting with the ground. "It is nonnegotiable. And you should consider yourself lucky as I do not usually take on apprentices, and especially not military dogs. Now stand up!"

Roy found himself doing as ordered, wiping the tears that came automatically with pain from the area around the nose as he stood up, relieved that he wasn't finding blood on his hand. He was, however, beginning to realise that either he'd do as she said or he'd find himself in a hospital, because it seemed that she was fiercely protective of the Elrics. "Very well." He paused for a second, resigning himself to his fate. "...Teacher."

She gave a small grunt of approval, her arms crossed again. "I'll start with assessing the scope of your abilities. That includes both physical and alchemical prowess. Now I would like to begin with hearing the way you were trained."

Roy found it to be an encouraging thought that he'd be having a civilised conversation and not just a concussion. She obviously was competent, even if she seemed like she'd make good friends with General Armstrong. "My Master taught me the fundamentals of alchemy for a few years before I joined the Academy at eighteen."

"I see. So how did you learn your flame alchemy?"

Roy decided that he would not start his nonnegotiable apprenticeship by telling her that he used the research that he had not been allowed to learn by Master Hawkeye after he died. He'd rather not receive another sandal to his nose if it could be avoided. "I found my Master's research after he died and taught myself. The research has later been destroyed so that no-one else can ever learn the secrets of flame alchemy as it is the most powerful alchemy there is, and thereby the most dangerous. And so I am both the first and the last Flame Alchemist."

"I see. I would like you to give me a demonstration. If I am to train you, then knowing the nature of your most powerful attack is elementary."

Roy nodded. He hadn't expected to have his alchemy skill assessed too, but at least he could show her something that could serve to impress her. And that would also tell her that he wasn't completely incompetent, even by her standards. "I'll go fetch my gloves, then."

Something whizzed past his right ear and was caught by his new teacher's left hand without her even looking at it. "Thanks, Honey," she said, before throwing the objects to Roy, revealing them to be a pair of his ignition gloves.

That was something that Roy didn't exactly approve of. "I would prefer that you didn't take my gloves without my permission. Now please tell me where you found these as I keep them stored at strategic points throughout my house. Not having a pair where I think they are if I need them would affect my ability to protect the boys," Roy told her, frowning.

"They were in the chest of drawers in the hallway," Sig said in his rumbling bass behind him. "Mister Hughes showed us where to find them."

Roy turned around to see Maes standing next to Sig with a camera and a grin. "Gracia's making Ed breakfast and the kids are asleep. Now have fun, Roy-boy!"

Roy rolled his eyes, pulled on his gloves and snapped his fingers, aiming to burn the camera, only to have a thick wall appear in front of Maes to block the attack. He turned around sharply, looking around to see Teacher crouching there with her hands on the ground. He paused. "You know how to clap to transmute?"

"Yes, I do. Now I would like you to refrain from burning your friend's possessions as there are also pictures of Alphonse on that camera." Then she threw him a piece of chalk. "Transmute that wall back to normal as quickly as possible, I would like to see how precise and efficient your basic alchemy is."

Roy decided that sprinting over was the best -and hopefully least painful- way to do things, and he quickly drew up the necessary transmutation circle and transmuted the crater in his garden back into its normal shape.

Teacher went over to him and studied his work. "There are few transmutation marks, but your movements should be quicker. You seem to focus too much on your flame alchemy. As water makes you useless, knowing how to perform quick transmutations is crucial."

Roy felt his fingers clench at the reminder of flame alchemy's fatal flaw.

Which of course didn't go unnoticed by Teacher, which in turn meant that her fist shot out from her side and connected with his jaw without her even looking, and he flew at least two metres through the air, landing flat on his stomach with a gasp. He tasted blood in his mouth and he found himself to have a split lip and a thankfully not broken jaw.

Ouch...

"Hey, Roy, you alive over there?" came Maes' voice, and Roy got to his knees, trembling slightly. If this was just an assessment, then what the hell was training going to be like?

"Somehow..." Roy said a bit hoarsely as he got back to his feet to face them, wiping away the blood from his lip with his ungloved hand. He looked at Teacher. "You wanted me to show you my alchemy?"

She nodded.

"Then stay still." And so Roy snapped his fingers, his hand still by his hip. A second later, he was sending a controlled line of flames along the fence that then made separate circles around Maes and the two guests, before shooting up into the air in a spiral and then ending in an explosion that was just small enough for whatever neighbours there were not to be concerned as they knew that it was just Roy causing it. Then he let the flames die down, smirking inwardly with satisfaction at having trapped the woman who was going to torment him for weeks in flames.

"Well, Mustang, it seems that you have rather impressive control of your branch of alchemy. I can see why you wouldn't want it to be common knowledge," Teacher said. "Which means that our areas of focus will be on your general alchemical prowess and physical ability." Then she turned to Sig. "Honey, would you please go find Mustang a water bottle? We'll be starting with Training From Hell Plan A."

Roy froze. "Training from what?" he asked, stunned and frankly terrified.

He was being ignored completely. "Of course, but just remember not to overexert yourself," Sig told her.

To which she responded with turning on her heel sharply and lifting her left leg from the knee down as she leaned into her husband's stomach, getting hugged tightly. "Oh, Honey!"

Roy just stared at the affectionate display.

...And at how Maes took a picture, smiling.

Then Teacher ended the hug. "But let's get back to business." Then she turned and walked into the middle of the garden. "Now remove your glove, and then come at me with full force."

Roy had a very strong feeling that he'd be the one who would need assistance with walking through the house by the end of the day.

And thank you so much for all your reviews and please keep them coming!

(But no flames ;D)