Chapter twenty-six

Ed limped inside the ground floor of the building that housed Radio East. Roy hadn't been entirely supportive of his idea of going here, and Ed supposed he could see why... Although not in a physical sense.

But Ed just wanted to make it so that he'd be left alone and make things on his terms.

And then just end it there. Because apparently there were people who were slandering Roy. And Mister Hughes had called the office and told them that coming home right then had been a bad idea because of the journalists.

And so here Ed was, his hand on Roy's elbow as they walked slowly inside.

"Oy! Can someone get me the manager?" he said loudly. Right now, Ed was drawing strength from Roy. And he couldn't do this stuff while receiving pity. He wanted people to shut up. To not make him into some heroic pity-seeker. He wanted people to leave him alone and they wouldn't do that if everyone were instead going to be a poor Roy copycat. "You've got the chance to get one hell of a broadcast 'cos I'm only going to give one interview, and that one could belong to you."

There was silence for three seconds, and then people were running about in all directions. "Of course, Mister Elric, Colonel Mustang, you just take the couch over there, and we'll get Mister Powell for you right away," came a high-pitched, urgent man to his right.

"It's Mustang... I changed it a few hours ago," Ed told him.

"Oh... Sorry! I'll just... Do you want some water? Coffee? Tea? We have sweets and biscuits too."

And so Ed found himself slurping orange fizzy drink from a straw inside an office that he really didn't know what looked like. But it smelt of a bit too much cologne with a hint of cigars, which made him think that they may be connected.

"Okay, I have a few terms. First of all, I'm gonna get to make it clear that this is the only interview I'll ever give, so that I can get people off my back. Secondly, I don't wanna have a lot of questions about my feelings and how sad I am. If I wanna tell you, then you're not pressuring me. I don't want pity and I don't want to have this censored so that it's suitable for the kids. Because if you think that I'm gonna speak all politely about this shit, then that's basically disrespectful. My little brother was turned into a newborn and I've lost my eyes. Also, Roy's not gonna be listening. I'm the one who's doing the interview and I'm not gonna have people think that I'm just a stupid kid who's intimidated by his big, scary adoptive father, the Flame Alchemist. Because he's not exactly keen on me doing this in case I'll come to regret this later, but I just wanna stop the problem before it becomes one. I'm not gonna have people speak badly of him. So if you wanna start the broadcast with a PG-13 warning, then sure. I'm doing it over the radio, because journalists are gonna use all these fancy words and read my expressions wrong and stuff, just to make a good article. And I can't exactly read it through myself before printing. So do you accept my terms?"

"Well, sir, I think that it's only fair, although we can't assure you that you'll be left alone after this." Mister Powell sounded slightly awkward and taken aback by Ed's speech. "But, yes, I think your approach to the matter is a lot more reasonable than us trying to make the harsh reality into a more crowd-pleasing story. But I would ask that you do not use words that are offensive in a way that seems directed at certain people. Ethnic groups and such. Or make statements that can be considered sexist or expresses prejudice about any sort of sexual orientation."

Ed frowned, feeling just a bit confused as to why he should make any sort of remarks about that last piece. Then he realised that it probably had something to do with who he was living with. Which was definitely going on the list of things Ed would like to clear up. "So are you saying that "bastard" is out the question?"

"Considering the original meaning behind it, I'd say-"

"Then I'll just point out that our parents were never married. Should be okay then, right?" Ed wanted to cross his arms and lean back in his chair.

...Although he preferred the way that he was instead sitting with Roy's hand on his shoulder and was therefore not leaning back into his chair.

Because that was what Ed actually wanted. He wanted to have people just leave him alone. To stop them from thinking that Ed was still the Fullmetal Alchemist just without his eyes.

"If you specify that, then I suppose you could. Do you want to record it now and air it later when we have advertised it a bit more?"

Ed thought about it, but then shook his head. "No. We should do it live, 'cos if they all know that I'm appearing in public and telling my story and stuff, they're gonna pester me about giving them too an interview or my opinion. I'm not letting them think that I'm fair game now, or have them try to bribe me before the broadcast. If you wanna do a rerun, then that's okay... S'pose you could air a version with the swearing cut out during that one. Like the live version, then a rerun of it, then a censored version. Should gain you a lot of publicity, but without people being after your blood for broadcasting uncensored swearing?"

"That is certainly a very good way to do things. As many people as possible will be able to hear it, and get a second and third chance if they miss it... But doing it live means, and only if you want it, of course, that you can speak to listeners who are phoning in."

Ed thought for a second.

And then he nodded. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. I can answer all the questions that people have that way. So when do we start?"

"We can have it all set up in twenty minutes, Mister Mustang."

Ed had two glasses of fizzy drink standing in front of him him. Roy was back at the manager's office per Ed's orders.

Edward had told him that he wouldn't tell people everything. And far from what he had told the Rockbells, because Roy still had a reputation to uphold. So no guide dogs, no woofs, no Arnolds, no sitting stark naked in the bath while Roy cleaned him. No going to the bathroom together. No sleeping in Roy's bed, snuggled up to him. No Roy crying or taking Ed out sparring in the middle of the night.

But Wally the brainless dog was given the all-clear.

And so Roy had kissed Ed's temple while they had been given their two minutes of privacy. Then the radio host had come to guide Ed and let him get to know a bit Gil before the broadcast.

And so here he was, partially on edge as the host explained about how the four o'clock debate panel, had today been replaced by an exclusive interview with the previous Fullmetal Alchemist. Then there were the warnings about how it was uncensored and that discussing something like this while Ed's opinions would be restrained was disrespectful. Then came the whole "this is based on the results of a very horrifying set of events, and so please exercise caution". Then came the rerun announcements. Then the part about how the listeners could phone in.

"And I don't wanna go through the details of that day. I'm here to talk about what happened afterwards, so please don't start asking me about what it was like before that," Ed added. "But I'll answer any questions regarding Colonel Roy Mustang, because I hear that there's a lot of resentment and worry surrounding Al and me living with him."

Ed then thought of something else he should say. "And also, if people are afraid of speaking their minds or thinking that I'm too afraid to do so because he's watching, then I'd just like to say that he's in a completely different room on another floor and doesn't know what I'm saying. Also, I'd like to make it clear that this is the only interview I'll be doing. If you listeners want to ask me questions, then you only have this one hour and a half to do so. After that, I'm not gonna talk about any this in public ever again. And please don't start every call with offering me your sympathies... I've got it a lot lately... So I appreciate it, but I hope you all can understand that it makes it really awkward."

"Well, Edward, first of all, I would like to thank you for giving us so much of your time," Gil told him as their interview was started for real, being the friendly radio host that he was.

...Even if Ed had been told that a lot of times ever since he came here.

"I thought it was best to do it this way, so that I won't have to spend a lot of the time having people ask me for my opinion. Once this is done, I want people to respect that. It's not like I won't talk to people, of course... But I don't want to have them treat me like I'm some form of entertainment. Or an object of pity. So once this is done, all I am is a civilian. Because the Fullmetal Alchemist has resigned from the military. He doesn't exist any more. And neither does Edward Elric. Because I'm not who I was before and I don't want to pretend to be him. Alphonse was my only family, and I was his big brother. We grew up together and after Mom died when I was five, he was the only one I had left. Being his big brother was a big part of who I was... So now that my little brother is back to being an infant, then I don't want to keep up being the big brother of someone who's gone. I'm gonna be starting from scratch, just like Al, I owe him that at least. I'm not gonna keep living in the past, 'cos it's pointless. Nothing is ever gonna be the same again. Time keeps moving forwards, so staying still isn't really an option, no matter how hard that can be."

"We have the first caller coming in now, is this Polly?"

There suddenly came a very stern-sounding woman whose voice seemed to be slightly choked by her tears. "Yes. Hello, thank you for having me, I'm really not used to doing these sorts of things."

"...Yeah, I get you... Hi, Polly..." Ed said, feeling awkward. This all felt unreal. Strange and unreal and distant. "What were you wondering about?"

"As I understand it, you weren't on too good terms with Colonel Mustang. Has that changed?"

"...Uh, yeah... I suppose they've been good at keeping it secret, then... Explains why there hasn't been so many journalists... I should probably start by saying that Roy adopted Al and me two days ago... And that I officially took his surname a few hours ago. It's why I say that Edward Elric doesn't exist any more. Because my name's Edward Mustang now and it's been approved by the Führer and everything... But, no, I definitely didn't like him before... I even used to call him "bastard"... And if anyone's offended by that, then please don't think that I have anything against people being born outside of marriage... In that sense, both Al and me are bastards ourselves... But the thing is that he's really taken the role of guardian to heart... That first night, he spent the time he should have been sleeping, sitting in an uncomfortable chair to help teach me to read braille. I didn't exactly feel much in the mood to fall asleep after what happened that day, so he offered to do that with me instead." Ed sighed. "And I guess the turning point was that he chose to listen to everything that I needed to get off my chest... At one in the morning... And instead of being angry back... Instead of trying to defend anything... Instead of telling me that I was wrong... Or just sending me off to bed after I was done venting my anger and frustration... He just..." Ed bit his lip, deciding that it was probably for the best. People would otherwise just be worried that Roy was taking advantage of Ed's vulnerable state. "Well, he just held me... He held me for as long as I needed it. Then he took me downstairs and found me the food that I had woken up for in the first place 'cos I'd spent a lot of that day asleep... And that's when he offered me a choice... 'Cos he suddenly realised that his position as guardian and bodyguard would probably be terminated should he be injured or incapacitated. After all, his ability to fulfil his duties as our bodyguard would have been compromised. So he told me that he'd like to adopt us so that we wouldn't find ourselves getting sent somewhere to someone else. He offered us a bit of permanency when everything else had been turned on its head."

"Thank you for answering my question so thoroughly, Edward... I'm glad to hear that you are apparently being taken care of much better than I thought you would be... I'll let the other listeners through now, and I wish you all the luck in the world."

"Thanks, have a nice day, Polly." Ed felt weird and empty and like a really good liar. The voices were unreal. Everything was distant and he couldn't really get himself to think about anything other than the words. Words were all there was to this whole thing. Words were also safe. They made it possible to speak to strangers. If they weren't there to look at him, judge him... Just distant... Then he could keep the tears at bay. Even if it was impossible to block out everything.

...And he had just openly admitted to being hugged.

He was beginning to dread what was going to happen once this was over. He had been prepared for the way that he would have to admit to not being fine. Otherwise, people would only be more worried and think even more poorly of Roy. This was supposed to bring closure. To ease everyone's worries.

"I'm good for another one, Gil," he told the man sitting across the table. Ed had no idea what he even looked like. He was speaking to darkness.

...He wanted Roy. He wanted a hug. He wanted to sit on his lap. He wanted to have the one person that truly felt real to be there with him. He wanted the scent. The sound. The hugs that were improving with each one as he learnt how to do it. Because Roy didn't really have much experience with hugging a child. And Ed wanted the sound of Roy's heartbeat under his ear as he was hugged to the older alchemist's chest. He wanted the feeling of the vibrations that came every time he spoke as he held him. Because he wanted his Roy.

Realisation hit him at that thought. The way that Roy was being around Ed was something that nobody else had been given. And that version of Roy was Ed's. Roy had given it to him and to him only. Because Roy was his Miniature Pinscher.

And nobody else's.

And it was the first good thing that Ed could see only for himself that nobody else could. Because Ed could see the side of Roy Mustang that was his, and his alone. It wouldn't even be for Al.

He briefly registered as he was brought out of his musings that the new caller was named Toby. And the man sounded disapproving. "Hi, Toby, what's your question?"

"Hello, Edward... I was wondering how you feel about the weight of taking the name "Mustang" brings you. There will be a lot of unfavourable consequences for most people's opinion of you, after all."

"I don't really care about that. I trust Roy. I'm blind... I can't see him. I can't see his face or anyone or anything around me, but I still trust the man who, for some unknown reason, decided to give Al and me a home. He decided to give us a home rather than a place of residence... And I don't really believe that people will think that I'm following in his footsteps when I'm not ever gonna be allowed in the military again. I don't have any plans to learn his branch of alchemy as it's not a good idea to shoot flames without seeing where they are going. And I'm not exactly gonna start dating any time soon." Ed didn't say it an annoyed tone because he found the thought of his blindness still causing that lump in his stomach. "I chose to take his name because it means that I won't have any expectations coming with it. I can't see how people react to me any more. How they look at me. But I don't have to feel like I'm making a joke of my own name. It frees me from the pressure. So to me the name "Mustang" doesn't carry anything but getting somewhere to feel safe."

Winry felt numb as she put on some creme around her mouth and nose. The skin was stinging from all the tears that she had shed these last few days.

She felt like crying again every time she thought about Ed and Al. The fact that Al was gone. That Al would never know his mother. The way that Ed was blind and so unlike himself now. It hurt so much all the time.

And Edward was... He had a plush sheep named Arnold. Winry had been unable to keep herself from sneaking into Ed and Roy's bedroom once they were gone.

...And she had found Arnold lying there in Roy's bed, a few, small transmutation marks having been surrounding its body. Roy had clearly transmuted it together from objects in his own room.

Ed's bed hadn't looked like it had been slept in at all.

It didn't get better that she knew that Roy helped Ed in the bathroom. That some kind of strong bond and dependency had suddenly formed overnight the day that they had come to help Ed with his automail. And Ed was just clinging to Roy. He needed Roy. And Edward didn't seem to mind the fact that when he showered, he wouldn't be able to do so unassisted. The man that Ed had been calling a bastard for the past ten months... Whom Ed would have been mortified if he had seen Ed naked and small and in need of help in a bath... He now clung to like his life depended on it. And every time she saw them, Ed was in some form of physical contact with him. Whether it was a hug or leaning against Roy's side, or just having Roy's hand on his shoulder... It was like he needed the constant physical confirmation that Roy was there.

And when he wasn't. When anyone expressed any sort of misgivings about Roy... Ed became so fiercely protective of him that it hurt to watch.

...Because Edward had shattered to pieces. He'd just... He'd lost Al, and that was...

It was just so heartbreaking to witness what this had done to her childhood friend. And now it wasn't even Edward Elric. It was Edward Mustang.

She had in many ways lost both Ed and Al through this. And Ed wouldn't even be able to remember what Trisha had looked like and-

Winry's eyes widened and she ran downstairs from the bathroom and then down into the basement. "Granny! Give me the pictures you have of Trisha, I've got an idea!"

Understandably enough, she startled her grandmother with her sudden outburst. But she went and found the pictures from the album even so.

Winry grabbed them without any explanation and ran outside into the garden, finding Mister Hughes doing some very involuntary sit-ups. "Miss Izumi, could you please help me with something?"

When Ed came limping inside the house, he felt completely spent. The interview had been harder than he had thought.

Much harder.

And he had needed to just sit in the car with Roy. Had just needed to be hugged as he had let out the pent-up tears that he had barely kept at bay until then.

"We're back," Ed announced without much enthusiasm.

He heard quick footsteps approaching. "Ed, I've got something for you that might help you, so please come into the kitchen," Winry told him. She sounded urgent and like she always did when she was trying to help him more than necessary. The way she sounded when helping him was her coping method.

And so Ed followed her, Roy guiding him.

The way that Roy froze as soon as they entered the room, told Ed that this was something different from usual.

He didn't expect Roy to pick him up and place him on his lap as he sat down on one of the kitchen chairs.

"I-I thought about how you'd forget what Trisha looked like... So I... I thought this might help you a bit," Winry said shakily. "So just... Just reach out on the table at about forty-five degrees from where you're sitting."

Ed slowly did as she said.

And then he paused.

His hand came into contact with some sort of life-size bust that seemed very familiar as he ran his hand over the sculptured wood. The sculptured wood that was shaped like Mom from just below the shoulders, all the way up to the top of her head. He ran his hand over it slowly... Felt the smile on her lips... The smiling crinkles at the corners of her eyes... The loose ponytail... Her cheeks... Her chin...

"I showed Miss Izumi some pictures of Trisha and asked her if she could make something like this for you... She's a really good alchemist after all... And Granny helped her get the proportions right plus the parts of her head that the pictures didn't show..."

Ed got to his feet and followed the direction of Winry's voice as he limped over to her. Then he hugged her tightly, his lips trembling and with tears streaming down his cheeks. "Th-thank you, Winry... That... It's perfect... Just... Just thank you..." His whole body was hurting, but at that moment, he felt an enormous wave of gratitude towards his childhood friend.

Winry put her arms around him and hugged him back. He felt her tears on his cheek. "I... I just wanted to do something that would help... So I'm glad you like it..."

Ed felt a sob escape his throat.

And another.

And another.

And then he shifted slightly, accidentally stepped on her toes with his prosthetic leg, lost his balance and pushed Winry away to keep her from falling down along with him...

...And had Roy barely grab him in time for him to avoid slamming into the floor.

However, there still came an ominous cracking sound as Ed was pulled to his feet. "What, what was that?"

Winry moved forwards quickly. "It was just your pocket watch, Ed. I'll go fix it right away." Her voice was strained from tears as she rushed past them.

"You know, Ed, you've got a really good friend there... Are you in the mood to repay her by making the world's greatest pasta with ham? It's the only dish I know how to make better than Gracia." Roy's voice was kind and grateful.

Ed thought for a bit, feeling numb, guilty, grateful, empty, full, agonised...

"Yeah... That sounds good..."

"Then we'll just go inform the others of our plans."

And so Ed walked together with him in the direction of the house's other occupants. "Hey, Roy, what about you? Do you have any childhood friends?"

"I have a lot of previous waitresses at a hostess bar in Central... I'll fill you in on it while we cook..."

And so it's time to respond to the reviews :)

Lil'Sparrow7: Thank you so, so much! Too hear you call my story glorious really means the world to me! And thank you for such a thorough review in general!