Chapter twenty-nine

Roy was very glad that he had given the Major clear orders about not hugging Ed, because Edward was the one who would initiate contact. Otherwise, it had a tendency to become a sort of slap in the face about his blindness. It wasn't a lie per se, but Roy had felt that it had been his duty to his kid to keep Major Armstrong from deciding that Ed would "see" his impressive muscles with his hand. Roy would rather that Ed didn't have to be terrified, blind, and with a moustachioed muscleman pressing his hand to the Major's pecs.

...However, he knew he should have guessed that this was what would happen once Alex Louis Armstrong met Sig Curtis.

But he hadn't.

And so Roy was standing in the kitchen with a coffee cup for Ed, watching as the two shirtless behemoths shook hands.

...Because they had bonded through flexing their muscles.

Major Armstrong had been the one to bring their new uniforms and extra supplies and clothes from the Hughes house. What with how much the Major could carry, it had made sense, though.

But Roy had made a conscious choice in letting Ed be in the bath during Armstrong's arrival. That way Hughes could set some boundaries concerning all three kids in the building while Roy spent some time alone with Ed to prepare him for what would be coming.

And there was now going to be both new and old subordinates that Roy would be meeting as he moved into his new office today, as well as with his predecessor so that Colonel Yorke could give him a lot more information on where exactly Roy would be picking up from when he became left in charge. That last part would of course be together with Lieutenant Hawkeye, seeing as how she was his assistant and always had control over what forms were needed when, et cetera.

And so Roy made his way upstairs, Ed's coffee in his right hand, the coat hanger with his new uniform in his left. The sight of the stripes and the pin made him awkward and still left him speechless. Stunned and speechless. And they presented a major contrast to Roy's current state of being newly showered, but wearing his fresh pair of boxers under his thin, grey, knee-length dressing gown.

Now that it had become such a natural thing to him, he made sure to make his footsteps loud for Ed to hear, before speaking up. "Hey, Ed, it's me. I'm bringing your coffee and my uniform," he told him gently, before pushing down the door handle with his right elbow, opening the door with a mix of clever finger-and footwork. And so he once again found himself looking down at the kid in the bath before him. Ed was just sitting there, his face turned towards Roy, his eyelids partially opened over non-existent eyes. And Ed looked so, so lost, it hurt. That part never seemed to get any better. Ed still looked lost. Still looked so much like he needed Roy's help. Like he needed to be saved. And Roy was going to do that. He would be doing just that. He wasn't going to let Ed drown.

And the boy's remaining hand was resting on the edge of the bath, his spare leg lying on the floor. And so Roy hung his new uniform on the peg and locked the bathroom door before crouching down in front of Ed. He gently took the boy's hand and led it to the handle of the coffee cup, having placed it on the edge of the bath to leave the handle for Ed to grab. Roy's own fingers were holding the top of the cup where the coffee inside didn't reach, just to steady it, should Ed miss or grab it wrong. And so Ed took it from him, and Roy immediately knew what to say next as he removed his dressing gown so as to sit there in just his boxers. Because that was just how it worked. Ed found safety in it, and Roy wasn't about to take that away from him right before they left for something that terrified Ed. "I already had my cup downstairs two minutes ago, after having poured it from the pot six minutes before that and it was ready about eleven minutes ago. I filled your cup four minutes ago." Ed had a highly analytical mind. A highly analytical mind that allowed him to do the necessary equations as to when it would be drinking temperature for himself.

Roy had to say that it was in many ways nice to be around someone with that sort of scientific mind. Someone with the mind of an alchemist. Because no matter how good a friend Maes Hughes was, he wasn't one for transmutations. He wasn't a scientist.

Ed definitely was.

And he didn't punch Roy out of the blue to check his reflexes like Teacher would.

"Then I guess about a minute," Ed stated. His voice was slightly shaky, his lips quivering just a bit. He was obviously still not feeling ready for being taken out of the house like this. To be brought back into the real world after everything that had happened only a week ago. "D-Dad?... I-I don't wanna leave..." he whispered shakily. "I-I know we have to... That... That it's g-good for all of us... But I..." His voice broke and turned into a weak whimper-like sound. "I don't wanna l-leave..."

Roy sighed heavily and took the cup from Ed, placing it on the floor instead. Then he pulled him to his chest and kissed the top of his head, his left arm around his shoulders and resting on his neck underneath his hair, his right hand gently stroking up and down the boy's bare back. Ed found great comfort in the warm touch of Roy's large hand.

No matter how big a lump Roy had in his stomach, and had had since he found Ed without his eyes and with his baby brother in his arms, he found a small bit of enjoyment in this. Because it was nice to have someone hugging him for once and on a regular basis. It was nice to just have a small person in his arms.

...Because mankind instinctively wanted kids. And Roy was a part of that. And with all that he had seen... All that he had been through... All that he had done...

...He was suddenly being subjected to innocent, childlike affection.

And it made him happy in a way.

Although Ed's current situation meant that he was still feeling guilty and sickened by the events that had led up to why Roy was hugging Ed like this.

And now Ed was actually calling him "Dad".

...Because Roy was his father now.

It was still so weird and in many ways wrong to have Ed call him that. Because Ed wasn't supposed to have been in this situation. Roy was supposed to be his CO. But that was just how it was now. And Roy had therefore spent about three hours the previous day, having helped Ed with Wally whilst he had lain with Alphonse on his chest.

Basically, his life had changed a hell of a lot.

"I understand... But real life doesn't wait for you... We keep moving, and then we get you some ice cream and orange fizzy drink," Roy told him gently, still rubbing those soothing circles into Ed's back.

"I-I'd forgotten about the world outside... It feels like everything ended with what happened and it's all just dark and I don't want it. I don't wanna be here in the dark... It scares me. Because I can't see. I'm never gonna be able to do so again and I don't like the way that the world hasn't stopped even if it ended when Al fell into the pool! And I'm scared and I don't wanna leave and everything's just black and I don't know what to do, Dad!" Ed told him with increasing desperation. "I-I've lost my eyes! They're gone! Everything's just black! There's nothing but black! The world has ended, but everyone else don't think that it has!" Then the boy just broke down into sobs, leaving Roy with a lump in his stomach as he hugged Ed tighter to him.

Because they both still knew that they would leave at the planned upon time. And that Ed just needed to get it out of his system to be able to leave without breaking down in the car.

Roy felt decidedly awkward as he walked inside HQ in his new uniform. He was actually a general. He was a twenty-seven-year-old brigadier general and it wasn't posthumously.

And he was walking with a transmuted wheelchair with tall enough handles for Roy to walk with his back straight. The wheelchair was because it allowed Ed to sit with Al on his lap, the latter with a special bed-like contraption designed to keep him in a very good and comfortable position where he slept. And so Al was dressed in cashmere because it was cold inside HQ due to the large number of wool-clad soldiers.

And Ed...

...The boy didn't look like himself at all. The only thing that remained was his blonde plait, but the hair tie was now deep blue. What really was the most startling difference of all, was the fact that Ed had decided to dress more formally when he was in the office. He had said that it had to do with being the son of a general, and thereby being sharply dressed as the youngest Mustang had been something that Ed had wanted to do. And it was simply just to lend some more credibility to his father's new rank and position whilst not being such a sharp contrast to him.

Roy had of course told him that there hadn't been any need for that, but Ed's reply had really just left Roy without any way to have argued against it.

"I'm not Edward Elric any more... I'm Edward Mustang and now you and me both are gonna be new people. 'Cos you're Brigadier General Mustang and I'm... I just wanna look good when I can't see anything... Because I don't wanna look so broken as I feel in front of everyone else."

And so Ed was now wearing Roy's old and newly transmuted and dyed uniform trousers. Which meant that Ed was wearing a white shirt and a pale blue, woollen waistcoat and matching trousers, and with his pocket watch fastened to his waistcoat. It was so odd to look at, but with Ed dressed like that, the boy seemed slightly more at ease. At the lack of feeling improperly dressed, Edward wasn't as nervous about it all. And it showed that Ed still had some of his pride left. He still had some of his pride...

...And whenever he showed that he was as "broken as he felt," then that would be in front of the only person that Ed trusted to see him like that and not judge him.

Roy still found it so heartbreaking when he saw just how shy Ed had become. Shy and quiet because he had no one to stay strong for. Because now he had someone to lean on. To depend on. And he no longer wanted to draw attention to himself. He wanted Roy to be constantly available, but not really anyone else. It wasn't exactly healthy and ideal, but Ed would hopefully begin to open up a bit. And the rest of the team would be more than happy to keep Ed company.

But there was one troubling, little detail, namely that Ed appeared to be instinctively becoming slightly jealous when their hugs now included Alphonse. Because that made them different and it probably made them feel like a compromise. And that was just how it would always work, because that was just pure instinct. But it also made things so much more difficult because Ed loved his little brother and it obviously made the young boy feel so incredibly guilty.

But they would just have to figure it out. That was all they could do. And Gracia had said that she could be there to be Al's "mother" to relieve Roy a bit. Just basically fool Alphonse into not feeling abandoned by his parents by not having Roy constantly present. They wouldn't be lying to Al at any point as he grew up. He would get to know that Gracia was "Gracia" and that Roy was "Dad". But she was there to fill in for the empty spot left by Trisha Elric's absence. Which gave Roy more time to care for Ed because the boy was going through the hardest time of his life. Although it wasn't ideal, bonding-wise, he could still put off that whole single father-ish way of being with Alphonse constantly and always being the one to pick him up when he began crying. At least for a few weeks. A few weeks where Ed needed so much attention and help that it hurt to watch. Because Ed was far gone, there was no doubt about it. And if Roy were to let go of him now... If he were to begin pushing him away...

...Then Ed would lose faith in the thing that kept him believing that the future was worth the agony that he was going through. If he had just had his eyes, then things would have been so, so different.

But he didn't, which was why he was sitting in a wheelchair in a blue waistcoat and with his newborn little brother on his lap, gently holding Al's left hand in his own. And it was why he was calling his former CO "Dad," and was being so shy and quiet.

Edward Elric had been an insubordinate, stubborn, foul-mouthed and cocky kid.

Edward Mustang was a quiet, shy, polite and heartbroken child. His loss of vision was causing him to doubt himself because of how self-conscious he had become, but without knowing how people were reacting to how he acted.

But what he found both heartbreaking and flattering was the way that the thing that would stop Edward Mustang from being shy, was when people were doubting Roy's suitability to care for him. And when they were questioning Roy's motives and character.

And it left the older man both flattered and uneasy. Because part of him was fearing that Ed was being so fiercely protective of Roy, simply because the young boy didn't want people to question his judgement. Or to seed any doubts in Edward's mind about Roy not being the man that he now trusted with his life. The man whose face he had never seen to have been giving him a soft smile. Had never seen any smiles at all that had not been smug smirks.

And Roy felt so guilty about what had happened to those kids. So much of the time that he spent with Ed and Al. Because this could all have been avoided so easily. Because Ed wasn't supposed to be pushed inside HQ in a wheelchair with his infant brother on his lap...

...And with a plush sheep in a hidden shelf beneath his seat, just in case.

However, that part could easily be explained if necessary by the fact that Edward was suddenly blind and had lost his brother and that it helped reduce anxiety. And it wasn't exactly uncommon for many of those that had fought in Ishbal to still have some form of plush toy to improve their sleep.

And so it would have made a lot of sense to have Ed speak with a psychologist or psychiatrist, except for the fact that the things that were weighing the heaviest on his mind, were also the things that would have got him arrested had he told anyone about them. Speaking about his trauma and his feelings without being able to explain his most traumatic experiences, would only be a waste of time and make Ed hostile.

Amestris was a country that specialised in and excelled at three things: alchemy, military warfare, and psychiatry, the latter being a plaster for the second one. Because with a nation that had been constantly at war for a few centuries now, there had been a lot of resources to have expanded the fields of psychiatry, psychology and psychopharmacology. Meaning that Amestris had a slight advantage that most countries didn't have, namely that they could combine it with alchemy. And so they now had a lot of medications that helped with coping the after effects of what the soldiers had gone through. The pills that Ed were currently taking were an example of that. At first, they had been made through having been alchemically binding the combination of ingredients. And upon having found the best formula, they had been slowly and carefully put into production. There had been a lot of willing subjects at the time as they had been given an opportunity to have found a solution to something that had been mentally torturing them without relief. And so they had figured that it had been worth a shot. Said test subjects had then been rewarded handsomely for their contribution, mostly because it had given the military an opportunity not to have as many soldiers being discharged. Which in turn had made the civilians of Amestris a bit less hostile towards the military.

But despite all that, Roy had no intentions of sending Ed to have steady sessions with a psychologist. Having a traumatised child that barely trusted anyone and who felt uncomfortable about being around people in general, speak to a stranger about everything that made him so uncomfortable and nervous, wouldn't achieve anything but Ed feeling guilty about how Roy was spending money on something that only made things worse for Ed. With everything that the boy was going through, having someone take notes and evaluate him would only have resulted in him doing what he did to everyone else.

Pretended not to hurt as badly as he did. Because he didn't want to let people down.

However, the day before the Rockbells would be returning to Resembool again, Roy would be bringing Ed and Pinako with him to the infirmary at Eastern Command and speak with the doctor there as well as a military-employed psychiatrist about getting a specific prescription for them. The psychiatrist had been involved with it from the beginning and had approved it together with the infirmary doctor. And Ed wouldn't be going to sessions with the psychiatrist more than about once every third weeks or so to decide if Ed should keep taking the pills. Because while it was a relief to get a break from the nightmares, it also meant that he wouldn't be able to dream at all.

And so here Roy was. Youngest general in Amestrian history, with a blind teenager and a newborn and feeling like he was now suddenly entering HQ for the first time. The building felt a lot larger than it had ever done before. Roy had a lot to prove to everyone, now that he had been exposed as something entirely else than the egomaniacal womaniser that rose through the ranks far too quickly for anyone else's liking. Which was why it was highly ironic that the first thing that had come from it had been a couple of major promotions and a military mansion.

But Roy was getting increasingly worried about Edward's mental state and it kept interrupting his train of thought. He spent most of his waking moments with a lump in his stomach. Because Ed had accepted Roy and Roy only. Ed had chosen Roy and Roy only.

However, Ed had also taken Roy's words to heart. He had suggested that he would be brought here in a wheelchair instead of constantly be holding on to Roy's elbow. Because these hours were to be Ed's daily training regimen. To teach himself to not isolate himself all the time. To trust others. To trust the team.

...Which was very likely to become a lot harder as Roy would be getting another eleven subordinates. Just because he was the head of one the most important offices at Eastern Command. In the country, actually.

And he was in charge of it as Brigadier General Roy Mustang.

It sounded like a joke. Like a contemptuous nickname.

But it wasn't.

It wasn't, which was why Ed was in a wheelchair with an emergency plush sheep under his seat. And Ed was still a child. He was a child that was still traumatised beyond words.

No, Roy was scared of many of the things that were happening to his life at the moment.

And was currently very self-conscious as soldiers began noticing the new stripes. Many of them paled considerably, a fair few gasped at the sight, and a lot of them saluted Roy with wide eyes and a stiff "good morning, sir."

And Maes and Gracia Hughes were marvellous human beings as they drew a lot of the attention away from Ed, Al and Roy as they were far easier to approach about looking at Elicia. Because people were afraid of hurting or insulting Ed or just saying the wrong things to the two Mustangs. There was something both amusing and sad about how all the lower-ranking soldiers found it highly difficult to approach him when he was with Edward. They wanted to not ignore the youngest Mustang as they were afraid of displeasing Roy by doing so, but then they were also afraid of displeasing Roy by them being insubordinate by being friendly with Ed and thereby assuming a familiarity that they did not have with their superior officer.

Basically, an easy-going, excitable family man with great pride in his baby and a good-natured wife, were a lot easier to handle, especially as they had that baby.

...Not a baby and a traumatised thirteen-year-old ex-colleague, joined by their adoptive father, Brigadier General Mustang, whom they really didn't know was like because they hadn't really thought anything good about him just a few days previously.

Which meant that Ed and Roy both were being treated like bombs that they could potentially set off if they said the wrong thing, and if so, then the third bomb that was Alphonse, would begin crying.

But at least Roy wouldn't have to participate in another massacre. And he would hopefully be able to do more in order to prevent more of them in his new position.

...However, this was still extremely ridiculous. Laughable, even.

But Führer Bradley did have a point that he had never said to them out loud. Because Ed was now somewhat of a celebrity and an accidental advertisement for the military. He had been turned into the most inspirational military recruiter. And because he hadn't said it to be just that on purpose, it had inspired people even more. Because Ed still had faith in the military even after what had happened. And Roy had a very strong feeling that some of the things that Ed had said would soon become recruitment catch phrases.

Which all added up to one thing when it came to the military's way of thinking: Edward Mustang needed to stay in East City so that he could keep encouraging the inhabitants of the least popular region for people wanting to join up. Because Ed symbolised what was good about the military. About the loyalty and their care for their soldiers and what it truly meant to be a soldier and everything in between. And so Eastern altruists were streaming into the military's clutches.

...However, Roy didn't particularly mind that. A large congregation of altruists wanting to make the country into a better one wasn't such a bad idea. It could actually help change things somewhat. The military wanted to please the Amestrian population at least enough for them not to lose their faith in their leader. There had been an upsurge of willing and excited new recruits of unprecedented proportions, and alienating them wasn't a good idea. If that happened, then the military would most likely be exposed to even more distrust than before.

Although brigadier general was still ridiculous.

But Roy could only guess that it also had to do with something that Maes had pointed out. Because Selim Bradley was the Führer and his wife's adoptive son. So perhaps the cold-blooded leader of the country that had approved the genocide of the Ishbalan people, actually had a tiny soft spot because of his son. Perhaps the man actually possessed some basic human decency, after all. Roy would at least give him the benefit of the doubt, what with how the Hero of Ishbal had transmuted a Ed a plush sheep just a few days previously.

And so Roy found himself in front of his old office in order to meet up with his old subordinates and generally just get on top of things before his predecessor would come fetch them and give Roy an overview as they walked to the new office.

"Right then, I'll be off to my own future place of residence," Hughes said with a smile. "I'll meet you at the new office in an hour and a half with something cold to drink." And so he kissed his wife and his daughter's forehead. Then he walked over and crouched down next to Ed, and smiled softly at the young boy and gently placed his left hand on what remained of Ed's right shoulder. This was one of those times where Roy was extremely grateful for his best friend's Superdad superpowers. Namely that special Superdad aura that glowed around him when he dealt with children. And it was a highly adaptable one. And that was mostly the reason why Roy hadn't made any sort of ground rules for Maes's behaviour. Because no matter how annoying and exasperating Maes Hughes's constant exclamations of love for his wife and daughter and the pictures that followed, he could still adapt to Ed's needs. And so he was being calm and friendly when around Ed. No outbursts of adoration. Just gentle, comforting patience. "I'll get you some of that orange fizzy drink at the cafeteria too, how does that sound?"

Ed nodded slightly. "Thank you, Maes."

"Nothing to thank me for. But I'd better get going now, showing up late isn't the best way to start my career here," Maes said as he stood up. He was being tactical enough not to make Edward uncomfortable by wishing him "good luck," as that wouldn't really accomplish anything but rub Ed's nervousness in. "And as for you, Roy..." he began, before saluting Roy in a manner befitting it being the Führer himself. "Blow them away, General Mustang, sir!"

Gracia giggled slightly at her husband's display of childish professionalism and spoke before Roy could. "You do the same, Maes."

Another salute with a very fond grin. "Yes, Ma'am!" And with that he left with a smile and a look wishing Roy good luck.

Roy couldn't help but feel that opening the door to his old office would be the thing that would officially make him a general. And it made him extremely self-aware.

But if there was one thing that Roy Mustang was good at, it was to stay calm in front of those that needed him to be so. Which basically meant everywhere he went.

And so he stepped past Ed and opened the office door, feeling like an experienced novice as he wondered once more about just what the heck had actually happened to his life.

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