Chapter 4

"All clear, sir." Rosaria says, inspecting the last of the perimeter inside the cabin. She turned to see Levi, disgusted at the dust and mould on the surface of the wall. "There's no sign of the blizzard getting better. We should just camp here for the night. It's getting darker too…" Levi sighs. He scans the cabin, finding a small pot by the side and a few dirty cups and bowls. By the corner was a single sheet of a blanket - too thin to provide adequate warmth in the cold, harsh weather; but still, the place was enough for them to survive for a night.

"I'll go find branches suitable for firewood." Levi said, putting down his heavy backpack. "You'll unpack the supplies." Rosaria nods, getting to work.

"Wow… this is warm." Rosaria smiled as she reached her hands out around the small fireplace. Levi came back with wood and made a small fire with just a few tricks of rubbing the sticks together and some matches. Rosaria placed their canister of water into the pot and waited for the heat to melt the ice into drinkable water. Then she poured the water into the pot and added the black tea leaves into the small teapot Corporal had brought along.

"Looks like your teapot and tea leaves did come in handy, Corporal." Rosaria smirked, pouring the boiled water into the teapot. Levi smirked, watching as steam emitted from the pot. Levi took off his boots and coats and hung them on a makeshift line with the rope they brought. Their clothes were wet and cold from the snow and clung to their skin uncomfortably. Levi really had to put in a word with Hanji on making their uniforms more weather resistant next time.

"Corporal, here." Rosaria handed a ration bar to Levi from her backpack. Levi takes it and pats Rosaria's head. Rosaria blinks, quietly observing the Corporal. "Once you're done eating, hang your clothes on the line. The fire should help to dry them out before we leave during sunrise." Levi says.

After their brief meal, Rosaria hung her coat and gloves on the makeshift line. She was now left with her standard uniform - a white long-sleeved blouse and the matching military trousers. Levi sat down in the corner of the room as he placed the two cups of hot tea by his side. "Here." Rosaria accepted the cup of tea as she sat next to him, hugging her knees. "Damn, it's freezing cold." Levi threw the thin blanket over her head.

"Aren't you cold?" Levi laughed. "The sound of your teeth clattering is loud enough to scare bears, Rosaria. Don't be a brat and take it." Rosaria blushed as she pouted. She nestled next to Levi, their shoulders touching. "What are you-" Rosaria draped the blanket over the both of them and turned to look at Levi.

"We can share, Corporal." Levi glanced at her. "You're small so you probably have less body heat to fend the cold." Levi snarled at Rosaria who laughed at his reaction. "Are you trying to get yourself killed, brat?" Rosaria laughs, leaning into Levi further as her body begged for the small warmth radiating from him. "I'm only a few years younger than you, Corporal. You can't call me a brat." "Five years younger is still a brat in my eyes, Rosaria." Rosaria laughed.

The two sat in silence and sipped on their tea as they leaned against each other for a long while until Levi spoke. "When was your first titan kill?" Rosaria had thought she must have heard wrong until Levi looked at her. "When…. Wall Maria was breached. I was on the front lines of the Garrison with my….." Rosaria kept her gaze at the ceiling. Memories of that day come flushing towards.

"I told you I had a lover who died that day… right? Protecting civilians." Levi watched her face in silence. "He was protecting two kids, siblings. As he lured the eight-meter titan away, I took the kids away and flew them to safety. When I came back, I saw him being bitten in half in the mouth of that titan." Rosaria clenched her fists. "I remember my mind went blank as tears fell down my face and I looked into those giant titan eyes and it reached its giant fingers out to me with a smile on its face. I remember thinking… "Is this what hell looks like?". Corpses were everywhere. Blood dripping at every nook and cranny. People yelling, begging for their lives as the sound of meat and bones crunched." Levi felt his own fists tighten as he looked down at his own feet.

"Before I knew it, I had killed that titan. I don't remember how. An eight-meter shouldn't have been an easy solo kill for a novice like me…" Rosaria blinks and lets out a breath she didn't know she held. "What about you, Corporal? What was your… first kill like?" Levi's eyes darken as if something was dying on the inside. He leans back, letting his shoulder touch against hers. He can remember the day he lost Isabel and Farlan as clear as daylight. It was their first expedition outside the walls. The sky he saw that day… was clear and blue and painted with white fluffy clouds. That picturesque view was forever stitched into his mind, a view so free and beautiful unlike life in the underground.

Then everything changed when it started raining. Rain and mist blurred their vision and combat skills. When he went back for them, he had already found Isabel's severed head on the ground and Farlan's half chipped body in the titan's mouth. It was at this moment, he felt immeasurable pain in his chest and knew life would never mean the same. The decision he made to believe in his friends, ended up leading them to their deaths. Would things have been different… if he chose a different decision?

"Levi…." A hand on his shoulder knocks Levi out of his thoughts. Rosaria looks at him with concern. How long had he been quiet? Rosaria shifted her weight and rested her head on Levi's chest, hearing his soft heartbeat. She wraps the blanket securely around Levi, brushing against Levi's fingers. She gently strokes Levi's back in small circles, feeling the bumps and calluses of various scars through his blouse. Levi relaxes, tightening his arms around her slightly.

"You're warm, Levi…" Rosaria whispers as she closes her eyes and continues stroking his back. Levi wraps his arms around her, letting each other's warmth radiate together. Rosaria buries her head deeper into Levi's chest and lets out a chilly breath. She can hear his steady heartbeat through his chest and gently closes her eyelids shut. Levi felt his eyes itching to close, fatigue taking its toll on him after the events of the day.

The two drift into a soft sleep as they hold each other in their arms.

When the first signs of dawn broke, Levi stirred from his sleep and looked up. The first thing he noticed was hore sore he felt - his butt and lower body stiff against the freezing cold concrete. Then he felt the heavy weight on his chest as if a rock had been placed on his chest for the entire night. When Levi fully awakens, he's greeted by a head of blonde hair and an unfamiliar weight of a skull on his chest. At first, Levi imagines he is dreaming, but then it's too cold for it to be a dream and he suddenly remembers the events that transpired last night.

Levi looks down, his grey eyes glancing softly at the sleeping face of the woman in his embrace. They were still in the same seating position as yesterday, leaning against the wall and the thin blanket wrapped around the both of them. Levi notices how long Rosaria's eyelashes are and wonders for the first time in his life if a woman's eyelashes were usually this long. It's at this moment that Levi realizes just how much of a pervert he currently is and forces that thought away from his head.

Still, he can't help but rest his hands on the curve of her back, feeling a slight warmth she was emitting and that it was his natural instinct to survive and combat the freezing weather instead. Rosaria stirs in her sleep, not even the slightest suspicion of Levi's current actions. Levi sighs, silently wondering what he had brought himself into. There was no doubt that his friendship with Rosaria was closer than his usual definition of a work colleague. He wasn't even this vulnerable with his subordinates in the original squad Levi, where he had spent easily more than five years of his daily life with.

Had something changed in him? Had losing his entire squad and finding out the truth behind the world of Paradis invite vulnerability? As Levi rested his hand against Rosaria's back, drawing slow soothing circles absent-mindedly, Levi's eyes glazed over with regret.

She will eventually die just like everyone else. Are you ready to endure that pain again?

"Corporal?" A gentle sleepy voice calls out. It brings him out of his thoughts and Levi meets half-lidded sleepy emerald eyes. "You're drooling, brat." Levi pushes her head off his chest and Rosaria blinks, still not registering his words. As Levi stands up, he feels his entire body aching from the bad position of sleep and grunts. Rosaria lets out a yawn as she looks at Levi confused, barely remembering that she slept in the arms of her commanding officer.

"Damn… It's freezing cold." Rosaria says to herself, using her hands to warm herself. Levi throws the thin blanket towards her. "You're awfully unalert of your surroundings, Rosaria. If this were a real war, you'd be dead by now." Rosaria blinks, standing up as she inspected her surroundings. It's as this moment she starts to clear her head, remembering the events of yesterday.

"Ah… did I do something inappropriate in my sleep, corporal?" Levi grunted lowly. "Pack your things and get ready, we're leaving in fifteen."

When Levi. Rosaria and their unnamed puppy had left the cabin, the blizzard had subsided and there was clear weather for the use of 3DMG. In an hour, they had reached their rendezvous point with the others safely. After a tiring string of events, their winter training had ended peacefully.

Months passed by as the cold and harsh winter melted to welcome the start of spring and the rebirth of all things beautiful. Green grass flourished and colourful flowers showed the first signs of blooming. Rosaria crouched down on the empty patch of dirt, supplies and seeds by her knees as she focused on transporting the soil into the ground.

"It seems the duties of squad captain never satisfy you enough, Rosaria." Rosaria perks up, already knowing the owner of the husky voice. "I've trained everyone in the Scouts until they were ragged and tired and couldn't move an inch, yet you always find something to do other than training and paperwork." Rosaria smirked at Levi. "Please Corporal, my thighs are still shaking at the amount of training you've put me through." Levi raised an eyebrow and crouched down next to her.

"Then what exactly are you doing?" Levi asked. Rosaria placed a packet of seeds in Levi's hands. "Gardening." Rosaria said as her fingers brushed against Levi's calloused ones. She places a couple of different seeds in his palm and their fingers brush against each other gently. "This is marjoram seed… that's basil… rocket… they're great for cooking." Levi noted the gentle weight of her index fingers as it pressed down on his calloused palm. "This is lemon balm… peppermint… tea tree… they're great as medicinal herbs to make powders." Rosaria briefly looked up at Levi, their eyes meeting for a second. Her breath gets caught in her throat for a second, feeling the gentle touch of his fingers against her own.

"W-would you like to try planting some?" Levi raised an eyebrow. "Me? Gardening?" Levi scoffed at the idea. Humanity's strongest gardening and willingly touching dirt, worms and the alike? Pass. "C'mon, gardening is pretty fun. It's calming and you get to see the fruits of your labour at the end of the day." Levi still did not entertain the idea. "Here you can follow me." Rosaria took a seed from his palm and dropped it into a shallow hole in the patch of soil. She gently scoops up more soil and buries the seed inside, gently tapping and packing the soil firmly. Then she places a wooden stick and writes on it, stabbing it into the soil she just packed. "I've just planted a lemon balm seed. Now… I'll water it with love…" Levi rolled his eyes as she took the small cup and watered it gently. "See, easy?" Levi scoffed.

"I'll leave the gardening to the farmers and they'll leave the fighting to me. Sounds way easier." Rosaria rolled her eyes. "Humanity's strongest afraid to get his hands dirty?" Levi scowled. "They say gardening is like making a wish." Levi blinks, surprised at the sudden change in conversation. "Every time you want to make a wish, you plant a seed. When it eventually sprouts and blossoms, your wish will come true." Levi laughed. "Do I look like a six-year-old brat to you, Rosaria?" Rosaria ignored his comments and gathered more soil in her hands.

"Don't you have a wish you wanted to come true so desperately with all your heart and soul?" Levi blinked, looking into clear emerald eyes. "A wish that you prayed to the Gods for so long… begging for it to come to fruition." Levi lowered his eyes to the ground.

Even if he was humanity's strongest - he too made wishes.

I wish Erwin was still alive. I wish I was strong enough to protect my squad. I wish Farlan and Isabel didn't follow me on that expedition that fateful day. I wish I didn't have to lose the people I loved and have yet to love.

But yet, God never answered his prayers.

"Levi…?" Rosaria glances at him, wondering why his usually stoic features looked… pain. Levi suddenly kneels down, taking the seeds in his palm and analyzing the soil. "So how do I plant this shitty seed?" Levi asked. Rosaria brushed against his calloused fingertips and gently guided them to a shallow hole in the soil.

"You just gently place the seed in… yeah like that…"

As weeks passed by and spring had fully awoken, the Scouts were as busy as ever. Now that winter was over, it was finally time for the Scouts to make their first expedition beyond the walls in over five years since Wall Maria fell. Preparations had well been made for months now and everyone had anxiously waited in both fear and excitement for what their journey tomorrow would bring.

It was late at night and everyone had retired early due to the fact that they'd have to wake up at the crack of dawn for final equipment checks before they stepped foot outside wall Maria. Yet strangely, there were still two soldiers who had not resigned to the fate of sleep just yet.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping when we have a big day tomorrow, Captain?" Rosaria smirked as she looked up at Levi. "I'd ask you the same, Corporal." The wind gently blew her soft blonde hair and swayed the ruffles of the hem of her long skirt. Levi had noticed that this was the first time he had seen her outside of the military uniform and sports attire, donning a loose white blouse and a grey ruffled skirt that reached her ankles. His thoughts mirrored Rosaria's, who was glancing at his loose grey blouse and black slacks.

"Come for a secret late-night rendezvous with your lover?" Rosaria teased, smirking. Levi felt his heart twitch at the words, strangely attracted to words he knew was not true at all. Did her words somehow… turn him on? "I think I can hardly call gardening a lover, Rosaria." Rosaria laughed. As Levi crouched down, his eyes glanced at the patch of dirt. There was small seedlings sproutings, small green and lush leaves poking out of its fragile stem.

"It's growing pretty well, Corporal." Rosaria whispered, their heads next to each other as they examined the garden. Levi's fingers touched the small seedling to his left, a wooden note poking out of the dirt.

Parsley - OB

Then to the right, was another small seedling. Then again, each seeding had its own unique label in the patch of dirt.

Mint - EG; Daisy - GS; Sunflower - PR

Levi took the water can in his hands, letting the water sprinkle onto the dirt.

Parsley for Oluo, who's always a pain in the ass and no one likes him - still he always seems to compliment the team well even with his strong characteristics. Mint for Eld, a strong herb for medicine and drinks. Healing and strong, just like Eld himself to the end. Daisy for Gunther, quiet and barely noticeable but silently beautiful and pairs well with everyone. Sunflower for Petra, a ray of sunshine and the heart of the team. Always cheerful, kind and deserving of so much love….

….deserving of so much more time on this earth.

"Do you think they'll grow well?" Levi found himself asking. Rosaria smiled, noting how proactive Levi actually was when a few weeks ago, he would rather fight titans than gardening. "I think they will… You're taking care of them so well after all." Levi glanced back at his seedlings, something shifting in his soul.

Levi knew his wishes of reviving his lost loved ones would never come true. Even god himself couldn't turn back time. So at the very least, he wished he would be able to bring some comfort to his lost comrades in the afterlife. He didn't know how life after death works, but if gardening meant there was a chance they'd be a little bit happier up there - hey, he'd get his hands dirty over and over again.

"Grow well, you shitty seeds." Levi said, looking at each of his seedlings. Rosaria shook her head. "You know plants can hear you right?" Levi scowled. Levi glanced, staring up at the clouds.

For once, there was just a little something he looked forward coming back to after an expedition.

Author's Notes:

I've had this "gardening" idea in my head for a while now and it's surreal to see it finally visualise in words. I'm still overwhelmed with the events of Episode 8… so here's to hoping all my readers find some slight peace with this chapter!

As always, please leave a review! It keeps me motivated!