Chapter 8
"So how am I supposed to bath?" Rosaria asked, looking at Levi. Levi crossed his arms and leaned in his chair. "You can't get your bandages wet, plus the stitches are still fresh. And your cast…." Levi looked down at Rosaria's right ankle covered in a thick cast. "You won't even be able to stand straight." Rosaria glanced down at her own body. She had put on a very baggy and loose shirt that reached her kneecaps over the various bandages and her underwear before Levi came in. "I guess I can only wipe down for now." Levi nodded. "But I want to wash my hair…. It's so itchy." Levi grimaced in disgust. For a second, he wondered how he was able to comb his fingers through that dirty mess of a scalp.
"I'll bring a stool to the bathroom. You can wipe yourself down." Levi said. "Once you're done I'll ask one of the girls to help you wash your hair. No, you'll need two." Rosaria scowled at the thought. "This sounds like an awful lot of work. And a jab to my womanly pride." Levi scoffed. "You let me touch your womanhood to win a fight. I hardly think you'd mind having other women see you naked." Rosaria choked on her tea. She glared at Levi and felt her face flush.
God, why do I keep getting embarrassed in front of Levi?
"Fine. I don't have a choice unless I want to allow my scalp to become a breeding area for lice." Levi grimaced. "Can you help me to the bathroom?" Rosaria asked. Levi set his own cup of tea down and took the empty cup from her hand. He then proceeded to open the bathroom door and bring in a stool. He rolled the ends of his slacks upwards and brought the pail of water next to the stool. He peeked out from the bathroom and looked at Rosaria. "Where's your towel and soap?" Rosaria pointed to the things at the side of her bed. Luca had brought her things to the room while she was unconscious.
Rosaria bit her lower lip to keep in a blush. She watched Levi nonchalantly go through her private belongings and scavenge for two sets of clean towels and a smaller rag. Then he grabbed the small bucket of various soap and feminine products and set it all on the small counter in the bathroom. Once Levi was done, he walked back into the room and looked down at Rosaria.
"So are you going to strip?" Levi asked as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Rosaria blushed red. "I-I…" Rosaria said, unable to look into his eyes. Levi rolled his eyes.
Of all the times to be embarrassed, you're choosing now?
"Hurry up, Rosaria. I've burned through precious hours to keep you alive, fed and now clean." Rosaria jumped in her bed and gaped. "A-at least turn around…." Levi rolled his eyes once again and obediently turned around, his face now facing the bathroom door. Rosaria gulped, her heart beating too fast to her liking. She quickly untangled the ribbons of her loose medical blouse and slipped it over her head. She then folded it gently on the bed and looked down at her own body.
She hadn't realised the bandages around her chest, torso and arm covered very little of her bare breasts. She cringed. Although the bandages were a few layers, they were sheer and clung to her breasts in awkward angles and she could briefly see the outline of her nipples. Rosaria froze, her head running in all different directions at the situation she found herself in.
Get it together, Rosaria! It's just your body! Levi's already wasted so much time taking care of you. You can't feel conscious about your body now! Plus, he'll likely be helping you in and out of the bathroom for the next few weeks as well - what difference does it make here?!
As Rosaria felt the blood rush to her face, Levi cleared his throat.
"Anytime now, Rosaria. It's not like we have titans roaming outside our walls or an enemy nation who wants to kill us, right?" Levi answered, not even flinching or tempted to turn his head. Rosaria slapped herself and hurriedly pulled her underwear off her carefully, avoiding the thick white cast on her ankle. She sat on the edge of the bed and looked down - utterly naked and embarrassed, but she sucked in a deep breath and cleared her throat.
If I can fight titans, I can fight this. I can fight this. I can-
"Y-you can turn around….now." Rosaria muttered inaudibly.
I cannot fight this. Shit. Mission abort. Mission abort-
It's too late. Levi has already turned his head. His face is still as steely cold and neutral despite his eyes meeting a woman's naked body. In fact, Levi showed more emotion when he was served cold tea. He casually walks over to the bed and places his hand on Rosaria's naked back and hooks the other underneath her bare thighs. Rosaria lets out a yelp when Levi rises and she automatically wraps her hands around his neck as he holds her in his arms. Their eyes meet for a second and Rosaria turns red when she notices Levi's eyes glancing towards the now very bare breasts dangled right in front of him.
Still, not an inch of betrayal on Levi's stone-cold face. Rosaria however, was close to a hot mess of titan puke. She couldn't find words out of her mouth as her face flushed, instead, she casually placed her palm over Levi's eyes, covering them effectively. "What the hell are you doing?" Rosaria doesn't answer. "Rosaria, do you think I have a third eye on my back? How else am I supposed to carry you to the bathroom?" Rosaria whimpered in defeat as something inaudible came out of her throat. "You're humanity's strongest! Surely you can carry me to the bathroom without your eyes!" Levi growled in annoyance.
"I don't have the time for this, Rosaria. Like it or not, your room is next to mine and that means I'll be dragging your heavy ass to the bathroom for the next few weeks unless you want to shit yourself in your pants." Levi said. "So that means, to make both of our lives easier, we should just get used to the sight of your breasts in front of my face." Rosaria whimpered and bit her lip as if she was a puppy robbed of her favourite toy. Hesitantly, Rosaria removes her hand and meets those same stone-cold grey eyes. Levi looked at her flushed face and smirked.
I have to admit, this cute behaviour of hers is something I wouldn't mind seeing more of.
Levi tightened his grip on her thighs and carried her towards the bathroom casually, while Rosaria couldn't even meet Levi's eyes once. Levi set her down on the stool and again, Rosaria felt self-conscious as she was suddenly sitting naked as Levi was staring down at her. Rosaria blushed as she tightened her legs to stick together as close as humanly possible.
Levi sighed, turning his back. "Do you need anything else, brat? If not, I'll leave to go get the other brats to help you wash your hair." Rosaria felt grateful for the small silver of privacy as she finally wasn't subjected to the glare of stone-cold grey eyes. "N-no… Thank you, Levi." Levi nods, not turning his head. He walks towards the door and closes it behind him.
The days after had passed by in almost the same routine. Levi would barge into Rosaria's room every morning and help her to the bathroom - which wasn't that bad as she would be decently covered and only needed to pee and brush her teeth. Rosaria had already managed to learn how to dress without opening her stitches or wounds as long as she opted for baggy dresses. Then, Levi would carry her down the stairs and set her down at his office table (since Rosaria didn't have her own office as the castle was pretty small) and Levi would leave her for the rest of the day.
Luca or Sam would be Rosaria's little helpers as they fetched her documents and tea as she was forced to work through mountains of paperwork, which was mostly due to Levi's share. The two had an arrangement whereby she'd do Levi's paperwork while he took over and trained her squad members, seeing that she'd be out of commission and wouldn't be able to practice new formations with her squad. In fact, Levi was actually on the winning side because he very much preferred being out in the field rather than doing paperwork, which he was terribly slow at due to the limited education he had received growing up in the underground.
By noon, Sam or one of the guys from Levi Squad would carry her down to the small dining area and when she was done with lunch, she'd be carried back up into the office again. She'd continue with her mundane paperwork until Luca would bring her dinner to her office and then continue with more work until around 9 pm, which she would call it a day.
This is where the problem comes in - or rather where Levi literally barges through the door. Levi would carry her back to her room on the second floor and she'd have to go through the worst kind of torture she had ever endured in her life - stripping in front of her commanding officer. By now, she had been used to this already and had managed to throw away the very small pride she had left as a woman. She had long decided that she really couldn't be picky about her situation since she was literally a burden and constantly needed help doing the simplest things, like moving from point A to point B. She had decided that as a soldier and member of the military, rationality was the priority here while her pride and womanhood stood second.
However, there was another challenge today. One she so desperately had sought to avoid. Rosaria puffed her cheeks subconsciously, still trying to form the words in her head. Levi raised an eyebrow, still waiting for her to strip so he could move her to the goddamn bathroom and he'd be able to get it done with. "Corporal…." Rosaria started. "I kind of…. Need help changing the bandages." Levi blinked, he had totally forgotten about this small detail in the long list of things he had to do now because of Rosaria's injury.
"Oh." Came Levi's reply. "So uh… I need your help to undo the bandages. I can apply the dressing myself on some of the wounds, but other places are hard to…" Levi followed her fingers as they scavenged for fresh bandages and some kind of special ointment from a box. "You'll need to sit down." Levi brought a chair from the desk and placed it in front of the bed, directly opposite Rosaria. She then started taking off her baggy dress till she was left with the bandages on her upper body and her black underwear. Still, there was not a sign of betrayal on Levi's face. He had already gotten used to the sight after carrying her all the way to the bathroom the past few days.
"Right… so let's start with the bandages on my right arm. I can't take it off with one hand so if you could help-" Levi held her right wrist and placed it on top of his thigh as he straightened her arm. He then started undoing the knot and unwrapping the layers of bandages. The smell of medicine invades his nostrils but he doesn't cringe, instead, when he's done unwrapping the arm - he takes a good look. The skin of her bicep shows black and blue bruises, while her skin turned a ghost white colour with reddish, orange patches in some parts, and fluid-filled blisters forming in others.
"It hurts like hell, doesn't it?" Levi asked, examining her hand. "It does… I'm on a lot of pain medication... Especially at night since I can't sleep from the pain." Levi furrowed his eyebrows. There was a sudden urge to kick Samuel again. Levi sighed, mentally reminding himself that he couldn't murder the damn kid no matter how much he wanted to. "Oh, here's the dressing. You just have to apply a thin layer with gentle hands." Levi took the container of medicine and looked back at Rosaria with a raised eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure I don't fit the description for gentle hands, brat." Rosaria laughed. "Just try. Don't put too much pressure or else I'll scream and bite your head off like a titan." Levi scowled.
He takes the spatula and spreads a tiny amount of the dressing on the wound, slowly. Surprisingly, Rosaria found that Levi did indeed have 'gentle hands' as she barely hissed at the pain. Barely. It still hurts like a bitch. Once he was done, he took a fresh set of gauze bandages and carefully wrapped it around the arm and secured the knot. "So what's next?" Levi asked. "The bandages on my chest." Rosaria said. "The doctor said my broken ribs would heal by itself in six weeks or so, but bandaging it is vital to give my bones the support it needs to heal." Levi remembered when he broke his ribcage a few years ago on one of the expeditions. It was a painful memory because one of his bones ruptured an aorta. Levi cringed. "So I'll just have to undo it and change new bandages, right?" Rosaria nodded.
Levi scooted his chair closer to her and watched as she raised both of her arms and bent them so her hands were resting on the nape of her neck. Then, she rested her elbow awkwardly on the sides of her skull. Levi met her nervous emerald eyes and he quickly went to work. His hands found the knot of the bandages on her chest quickly and undid them. As they started to unravel, he took the end of the bandages in one hand and scooted closer, placing his face directly in front of her breasts so he could angle his arms and take the bandages from her back then pass it to his other hand in front. As layers of bandages started falling, more skin revealed and the more Rosaria started panicking in her head.
Her face was as if a stone made of Wall Maria. Her eyes didn't blink but her lips trembled with each layer of the bandage undid. Levi's eyes glance towards the soft mounds of flesh inches away from his face as he undid the wrappings. He swallowed thickly. This was the first break in his icy cold facade as he felt something tingling in his blood. He quickly brushed it off, glad that Rosaria's face was facing the opposite side and her eyes were focused on the wall. By the time the bandages fully unravelled, Levi was met with supple mounds of flesh - not too big or too small, the right breast size in Levi's book; and pointy pinkish nipples. Levi cleared his throat, already feeling the blood rushing south.
He looked at Rosaria's face, pink flush over her cheeks. Compared to the first time she stripped in front of him, her reaction now was very much subdued but still evidently clear that she was indeed embarrassed. Levi grabbed a new set of bandages from the tray and worked on wrapping her chest again. His calloused fingers brushed the edges of her soft, smooth breast - and he watched as she suppressed a flinch every time his fingers touched hers. He carefully continues to wrap it around her chest, his fingers occasionally brushing against tender skin here and there. Rosaria bit her lower lip, subconsciously inching her legs closer to each other at how nervous she was.
"Is it uncomfortable?" Levi's whisper in Rosaria's ear sends a shockwave of goosebumps down her skin. She gulps. "No…" Levi nods and continues to wrap the bandages until it is fully done and he ties a knot. When Levi steps back to admire his work, Rosaria lets out a big heavy breath of relief she held for too long. Rosaria looked down, feeling instantly more comfortable with a new set of bandages. Levi stood up and moved the old bandages into a bucket.
"Can you finally clean yourself now?" Levi asked. Rosaria nodded and silently took off her underwear and waited for Levi to come closer. At this point, Rosaria has learned that every time she needs to strip in front of Levi she would think of titan blood, titan puke and the disgusting large eyes of titans that she wished she could stab with her blade. That way, she wouldn't freak out in front of her commanding officer. She feels the familiar feel of Levi's fingers on her thighs and back and after a few seconds, she's magically on top of a stool in the bathroom with a pail of water by her legs.
After a week passed by and the following check-up with the doctor, Rosaria was finally allowed to use crutches. She had never felt so happy to finally be able to goddamn pee without help. However, her walking and distance were very limited since her legs were still weak and the cast was still on. Although Levi didn't have to carry her to the bathroom anymore, he would still have to carry her down the stairs if she wanted to go to the office or the kitchen.
Still, Rosaria saw that as a blessing in disguise because she was finally freed from her torture of stripping in front of her commanding officer. With that said, she was still immensely grateful for the stoic, stone-cold but often misunderstood Corporal for helping her in ways that went beyond his duty and even so far as hindering his own schedule and work. Rosaria had often noticed that the light in his room would still be evident even past midnight, signalling that he was still working. A couple of times in her sleep, Rosaria had spotted Levi coming into her room quietly to use the bathroom at 3 in the morning and then she'd hear him come in again at 5 to get ready for the day. Although Levi never expressed or complained about the backlog in his work due to him taking over the majority of her duties as Captain, Rosaria wasn't dumb. She could see very well that he was sleeping 2 to 3 hours a day and still trained both their squads, attended meetings back in HQ and would ride back to their secret base in Trost to oversee Armin's titan training the next day.
"Captain, I've already sent the food to Corporal's office." Luca said as she peeked through the kitchen door. Rosaria was cleaning up the used pots and wiping down the kitchen thoroughly after use. "Thank you, Luca. He didn't say anything did he?" Luca shook her head. "He just nodded when I placed the plate down on his desk. He didn't even look at it as I left his office." Rosaria sighed. She was hoping for a reaction from Levi. After all, she had just spent close to an hour making dinner for their squads in hopes of using it as a smokescreen to actually please Levi.
"Well, he's probably too busy with work to notice that the food was different from usual anyway." Rosaria said as she placed the dried food back into the cabinets. "You should go rest, Luca. It's been a long day. Once I'm done cleaning up I'll ask one of the boys to carry me back to my room." Luca nodded and left the kitchen.
Levi scraped the plate with his spoon until every last bit of food was put in his mouth and the plate was squeaky clean. He swallowed the last bite and set the utensils down, sighing in satisfaction. That was easily the best meal he's had in who knows how long. Today's dinner was unusually complex with a serving of mashed potatoes with gravy, green peas and carrots, and a baked loaf of bread with dried meat and herbs in a pureed tomato sauce. He wasn't picky with food considering the environment he was raised, but damn good food really did hit a sore spot. Levi made a note to ask who was on kitchen duty tonight so he could damn well promote the brat and make sure he or she never leaves the Scouts as Levi couldn't fathom having Eren's poor excuse of meatloaf for another year.
Levi gathers the plate and utensils in his hand and walks out of his office towards the stairs. He arrives in the kitchen and opens the door to find Rosaria sleeping on the table. Levi stands there staring at her for a few seconds, observing how her face was placed on top of her good arm as a cushion and how her eyelids closed shut. It's then Levi realizes that it wasn't a brat on his or her team that made dinner, but rather Captain Rosaria herself. He smirks. She wasn't placed on kitchen duty due to her injury so it meant she went out of her way to cook even though it wasn't required of her. He sets the plates and utensils down in the kitchen sink and cleans it.
Rosaria stirs in her sleep, eyes barely opening as she heard the sound of running water. Her head turns slightly to find Levi's back. "C-corporal…?" She asks, sounding extremely sleeping. Levi places the plate on the drying rack and turns, leaning against the counter as he crosses his arms. "Did you like today's dinner?" Rosaria asked, head still against the table as she lazily looked at Levi. Levi nodded. "I'll make sure to tell Hanji to promote you so I can enjoy decent food instead of Eren's disgusting shitty meatloaf." Rosaria laughed hoarsely.
"I'm glad you liked it. I wanted to thank you for all the hard work you've put in because of my injury." Levi blinked. He hadn't expected that. "I know you don't say it but I can tell you're overworked and extremely sleep deprived because you have to take over my duties." Levi clicked his tongue. "I'm not. I'm always sleep-deprived anyway." Levi confessed honestly. Sure he was sleeping less than usual and had to work till the early mornings, but he didn't particularly find it tiring or annoying, nor did he blame Rosaria.
Rosaria blinked sleepily. "I'm sorry. I'm trying to help as much as I can with paperwork. But with my injury… I can't oversee squad training or ride a horse to HQ for meetings." She sighed and closed her eyes. "I hate feeling like a burden." Levi walked in front of her and kneeled down, meeting her eyes. "You're not. Don't make weird assumptions no one ever said." Levi scolded. Rosaria bit her lower lip, feeling oddly touched. Truth be told, not being able to live up to her standards and expectations as a squad leader was tearing her. She was expected to lead a squad on the front lines of war - yet now she could barely walk up the stairs without help.
When Rosaria doesn't respond, Levi glances at her hands. She's holding something in her left fist. "What's that?" Levi asked. "Oh… it's a rag. I clutch it in my palm sometimes because of the pain from the burns. The doctor said I was digging my fingernails into my palm too often so I should use a rag instead." Levi blinked. "The pain medication?" Rosaria shook her head. "It wears off after a few hours and I can't exceed the recommended dosage. Plus, the burns are at the stage where they hurt the most so there really isn't much I can do except bear with it."
"So you were bearing the pain this whole time? And you weren't sleeping just now when I came in?" Levi asked. "Well… I was half-asleep, trying to sleep off the pain." Levi scowled. "You should have told me. I would have reduced your paperwork so you could rest more. And you cooked while you were in so much pain?" Levi didn't sound happy. He didn't like the idea of her putting her health at risk even more than she already has. "Well… It's not like I can't bear it-" Rosaria flinched when Levi stood up and without a moment of hesitation, he slid his hand underneath her thighs and placed the other on her back. He rose up, carrying her easily in his arms.
Rosaria blushed at the sudden close proximity. "C-corporal?" Rosaria asked. Levi didn't answer, he just walked up the stairs until they reached her bedroom and he kicked the door open. He placed her gently on top of the bed and looked down at her with a scowl.
Rosaria paled, unsure of what to make of the situation. If anything, her brain was saying the current situation was taking an inappropriate turn. Before she could jump to conclusions, Levi tucked her in and wrapped the thick blanket over her body.
Okay, so nothing inappropriate. Why did I even think that? This is the Corporal we're talking about.
Rosaria sighed. "W-what are you doing, Corporal?" Levi scowled deeper. "Making sure you rest, brat. You're already injured as it is, do you think your body is made out of steel?" Rosaria quietly closed her eyes, preparing for a lecture. "If I don't watch over you, you're going to start doing paperwork aren't you?" Rosaria opened her mouth. "Don't lie to me. I've noticed the light in your room up past midnight too." Rosaria closed her mouth shut.
Levi gets the medication from her table and hands it to her, along with a glass of water. Rosaria takes it, gulping down the medicine immediately. She lays back in bed, staring at Levi who was looking down at her. Rosaria gulped uncomfortably. "Corporal…. I can't sleep if you stare at me." Levi didn't react. Instead, he crossed his arms. "Trust me, you can. All you have to do is close your goddamn eyes." Rosaria bit her lower lip. She wondered if there was any other way to politely tell Levi that staring at her while she tried to sleep was definitely going to give her a heart attack instead of peaceful sleep. She closed her eyes and waited for a few minutes to test the theory, and indeed - all she felt was how nervous she was as she could feel Levi glaring at her through her closed eyelids.
"Levi." Rosaria said, opening one eye. He didn't respond. "I can't sleep if you-" Levi grabbed a chair from the desk and pulled it towards the bed. He then went back to his own room and came back with a book. "Here, I'll read. Now go to sleep, brat." Rosaria turned her head, watching Levi read in the dim candlelight peacefully. Surprisingly, she felt her eyelids turn heavy and soon fell asleep. Rosaria drifted off to a deep slumber despite the pain of her injuries for the first time.
Author's notes:
First off, I need to thank all the readers who sincerely left reviews both on and AO3! It really means a lot to me to see all the wonderful compliments and knows that my story resonates with other people and people are excited about the next chapter! To thank all of you (and even the readers who didn't leave a review but silently read this fic) here's our longest chapter to date with 4.5k words! I'm cleaning up the next chapter and it has some NSFW scenes so make sure you hit the 'bookmark' button to read it when it's out!
As always, please leave a review and till the next chapter!
p.s. Dear Guest who left a review on Chapter 7 on 18/19 Feb - here's to hoping we can both get through this shit journey called heartbreak and become successful people who can find something they're really passionate about *crying*! There's one quote that I try to believe in - "We can lose the most important people in our lives in one night, but who's to say we can't meet someone more important in one night too?" - it's one of the few words that keep me going, knowing I lost someone who I never thought I'd lose in one night all of a sudden, but maybe I can meet someone equally as important in one night too. I wish you all the best and send you love and kisses from hot and humid Malaysia! :)
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