AN: Thank you all so much for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!

"I'm impressed." Sirius doubled over in laughter. "You've made great strides in picking up women since your time on earth!"

Severus pursed his lips together.

"I didn't think any woman would ever invite you back to her house, much less her bedroom."

He kept his mouth quiet.

"I worry for Hermione though. She's lowered her standards. Then again," his eyes were agleam. "You may have picked up on a new strategy. Haunt someone until they agree to have dinner with you! Genius!"

Severus glowed a dull red as Sirius resumed laughing.

"No, this could work for you. I really think it could. If you're lucky with this strategy maybe in heaven an angel won't turn green when you ask her out for a joyride on the clouds. Oh wait!" Sirius chuckled. "You couldn't ride a motorcycle if your life depended on it! Guess that angel will just have to see me if she wants some fun."

"If you are quite done you can sit down and shut up while I consider a strategy for proving my existence to Hermione."

Sirius' humor evaporated. "We do need to think of something."

"No, you need to read Aristotle while I think of a solution to this problem."

"First of all, this is our mission. I'm just as much a part of this as you are."

"There is no need to remind me of that sad fact."

"I want to do something to help."

"And here I thought you'd enjoy a chance to relax."

"Not if it means I'm sitting and staring at a wall."

Severus raised an eyebrow.

"I sat for years in a cage, and then I spent the last year of my life in a mansion staring at a wall." Sirius stretched. "I want to do something, not just spend more time sitting."

"I thought you liked getting out of work."

"When I was younger, I thought I would love a life of relaxation, but after doing nothing for so long I want to do more than sit in a room. I need to spy or ride a motorcycle, or pester St. Pete into letting me past the pearly gates. Anything other than sitting and staring at a wall all day works for me."

Severus' glow flickered. Truth be told, he'd never considered all the years Sirius had been penned up like a caged animal in Azkaban. For someone like him, it must have been torture. Although Severus wouldn't say that Black didn't deserve some kind of punishment for being such an arse, he couldn't help but have a spark of sympathy for the dog.

"Have you tried reading Aristotle to pass the time? It will be easier for you to help Hermione find eudaimonia if you know what it is."

"I tried, but I couldn't get past the part about every art and every inquiry leading to happiness."

"That's the first page."

"I know, but it was so dry I put it down. Couldn't Aristotle have tried to be more entertaining?"

"In his defense, there are reports that he was a fascinating teacher. Sadly, we only have the lecture notes taken by his students, hence the reason his writing is so dry."

"Great." Sirius groaned. "I never took notes in class, but now I have to read them."

"You wanted something to do, and I've suggested something to do. You should stop complaining and start reading."

"Couldn't they have given us something less boring to read?"

"Considering that we're outside of Purgatory, I do not think they would want us to read adventure novels."

"I know, but anything is more pleasant than Aristotle."

"Nobody said Purgatory was supposed to be pleasant."

"I'm not in Purgatory though. I'm in the program to avoid Purgatory."

"We are still supposed to be undergoing some sort of purification, at least in theory."

Sirius slumped onto the couch.

Severus scanned the title of the books beside Sirius. "If you want something more entertaining, you can try reading Plato's Republic."

"I tried that too, but I can't keep track of everyone's names."

Severus frowned. "Then I suppose you could try something simpler like The Euthyphro. There are only two characters. Even a simpleton like you should be able to keep track of them."

"Simpleton! I was wondering when you'd use a term like that."

"I will use much more colorful terms if you do not stop talking and start reading."

Sirius snarled before shifting through the books. From the bottom of the pile he pulled out The Euthyphro.

Severus paced the room as his mind returned to his meeting with Hermione.

How could the antics with the pillow not have worked? She felt it be snatched from under her head, and watched it fly across the room. Of all people, she should've known how unlikely it is that magic misfires in such a benign manner Why was lifting the pillow not enough?

Perhaps he wasn't thinking enough like Granger. What would be proof enough for a know-it-all like Ms. Granger? After all, she had interacted with ghosts, so she knew there were things such as spirits existed. Still, she may not believe in an afterlife, which complicated matters.

Sometimes in these situations, people appealed to those at the top. He could plead with the Trinity to appear to her, yet it was unlikely they would want to get involved. In fact, they may tack on twenty more purgatory years for distracting them from their busy tasks of judging souls and running the universe.

"I think I have a solution to your problem."

Severus stopped and rolled his eyes.

"You should tell her something only I would know," Sirius continued.

"Excuse me?"

"Tell her something only I would know."

"Why would I tell her anything about you?"

"Think about it: if you tell her something only you would know then she will believe its her imagination. If you tell her something only I would know it lends credibility to the idea that we are in the afterlife together."

"She'll think I escaped from hell, not Purgatory."

"That isn't too far from the truth."

"True."

Sirius set the book beside him on the couch. "Do you want to hear something only I would know?"

"Fine, what do only you know about Granger?"

"First, I'll tell you some things only she and her close friends know. For a time I was in hiding on Martinique," his glow intensified. "The sand was so white, and the people were some of the most attractive on earth. More than one night was spent wildly flirting with them and dancing until the sun came up."

Severus turned green. "I do not want to hear about your time in the tropics, nor does Ms. Granger."

"Fine, but I returned in the middle of Harry's fourth year and hid in a cave near Hogwarts. Once again, I was resigned to doing nothing, but I was willing to do it out of love for my godson."

"You were near Hogwarts for at least part of Potter's fourth year?"

He grinned. "You didn't know that, did you?"

"I had no idea."

"Great, so you also wouldn't know that Hermione has a deep fear of riding motorcycles."

"She does?"

"Yes. I told her about my love of riding once when we were alone at 12 Grimmauld Place. She was as white as Paraclete the entire time. When I finished, she looked at me and said, 'you may ride as much as you like. I will stand in the driveway and wave.'"

"Those were her exact words?"

He nodded. "I remember them quite vividly. It's easy what you remember when you're forced to relive your life every day."

"You know," Severus' glow brightened. "You may not be as much of a simpleton as I initially believed."

Sirius grinned. "Is that a compliment?"

"By no means was it one. I had simply given up hope of you having any degree of intelligence when you couldn't finish the first page of Nicomachean Ethics."

"It wasn't that I didn't understand it. It's just too boring."

"I found the style refreshing. I like how straightforward he is."

"You like people who sound intelligent."

"That does go far with me yes."

"Maybe, but you also don't care if the intelligent person is right or behaving ethically."

"That is not true."

"How do you explain joining the Death Eaters?" Sirius asked.

"There was more to my joining them than their alleged intelligence. They impressed me in other ways."

"What impresses you about a person?"

"To begin with, they do not act like you."

Sirius smirked. "Touché."

"They must also posses some sense, which you often lack," Severus continued.

"I possess more sense than you think."

"Your life story suggests otherwise."

"I just helped you prove your existence to Hermione. You should give me at least a little credit for that."

"Perhaps you have milliliter of sense, which I will admit is more than I ever suspected you possessed."

Sirius picked up the book. "You're welcome."

Severus rolled his eyes. Then he looked at the wall, hoping that Sirius' plan was crazy enough to work.

Then again, if it did not work he could throw it in Sirius' face.

Severus' glow became a warm yellow. Either way he would win, which alone was enough to make him look forward to his next meeting with Ms. Granger.