As more exposed to suffering and distress; thence, also, more alive to tenderness.

-W. Wordsworth, 18th Century English Poet

.

"Disclose my missions?" Heero's voice cracked at the incredulous idea.

"Yes, it's our best chance to take control of the narrative." Relena said. "We're already the target of gossip anyway, it won't be hard to shift the tone."

"She's got a point," Wufei piped up from his console, "You have to take the risk if you want to win, and in today's world of mass communication, the side with the best story wins."

"How many of your missions are you willing to make public?" Heero snarled.

"I'm not allowed to engage with the public, Une can't handle that many PR disasters." Wufei somehow looked smug about this admission. Heero was in no mood for his snark.

"Look, the press portrayed you as a cold-blooded killing machine, we just need to change that perception and show them the real Heero Yuy." Relena pleaded, the bullpen fell silent.

"They're right." Heero ground out, and stalked towards the sleeping quarters with hunched shoulders, disappearing into the dim connection tunnel.

Relena looked around at the others, who avoided eye contact with her. Sally took pity, "Cold-blooded killing machine is kind of his reputation."

"That's not how I see him." Relena turned to follow after Heero.

She found him in their assigned room, their friends were never known for their subtlety. Light peeked out from the crack under the lavatory door, the tap inside ran for a long time. Was he delaying the inevitable confrontation? If he didn't want Relena's company he would have engaged the unit lock. The image of Heero Yuy hiding in a bathroom was too preposterous for her sleepy brain to process. Then again, he'd been increasingly temperamental ever since Moldova.

Relena sat on one of the cots and didn't bother to turn on the light, opting to wait for him in the comfort of the gloom. Her mind turned to her work schedule for the next morning. How deep was the rot in the ESUN? She wrested control of Romefeller from the iron grips of Duke Dermail, could she do it again? Were there still enough people with integrity left in the ESUN to support her efforts?

The water shut off abruptly, Relena snapped out of her pondering. Heero emerged in the doorway back-lit by the harsh light of the bathroom, reminiscent of an extra-terrestrial disembarking a spaceship for first contact. Relena came close to him and looked up into his bloodshot eyes, "Tell me what's wrong."

"It won't wash off." He said in quiet desperation, opening his hand for her to see, it was pink and pruney from over hydration, though she was relieved to find no sign of self harm.

Relena took his trembling hand, "You didn't kill that man Heero, the instant he released the poison his life was forfeit. What you did that day saved many lives."

"According to the literature, psychological effects of a close-range kill is vastly different from a kill in a mobile suit, or a sniper shot." He recited robotically, eyes unfocused.

"You didn't kill him."

"I know, but he was struggling to breath and I held his mouth and nose shut, it took him two whole minutes to die. I can still feel... his muscles went limp all at once."

Relena would have to bypass his conscious mind, his brain knew the facts, but his body still reacted as if he was responsible for the man's death. She plugged the drain and turned the tap on cold, the sink filled up. "Close your eyes." She commanded.

Heero obeyed, and felt her guide his hand into the cold pool of water. His skin tingled against the near-freezing temperature.

"It takes a clean hand to purify a tainted one." Relena's voice hovered beside him, her fingertips rubbed at his palm, the water gurgled as she systematically went from his thumb to pinkie. Her ministrations continued until he relaxed, then he heard the plug being pulled, and as the water level fell, so drained away his guilt.

Relena dried his hand with a towel and cupped it around her cheek, her warmth seeped into his palm. Swaying a little, he opened his eyes to see her staring back at him.

"You've not slept since the Moldova incident, most people would be hallucinating by now." She chastened gently, leading him to the nearest cot. "You're in no condition to make decisions. We'll discuss our next steps when you've had time to rest."

As she lay on her own side of the room, listening to his muffled breaths in the dark and the occasional twitches that signaled his descent into non-REM sleep, Relena mouthed a short and familiar prayer for him.

In the early morning hours, Heero resurfaced into a shallow state of sleep. Like a wardog, he hunted in dreams.

.

"I connected numerous events in the past three years, each a paving stone for the current state of the ESUN." Trowa's fingers flew on his keyboard ecstatically, jittery from the caffeine intake, "We've seen quite a few new MPs in the last parliamentary election."

"Yeah I remember, they were a big deal because of their supposed humble origins." Wufei side-eyed the soggy paper cup on Trowa's desk, how many refills did the man have tonight?

"Upon closer inspection, they've all been propped up by an international network of nonprofits through scholarships, grants, and endorsements." Trowa tapped the screen to indicate the connections.

Wufei squinted at the wall of text. "One World Society, Wide Rhodes Foundation, New Democracy, Open Gates..."

"These do sound familiar now that you mention it," Sally scooted closer, back-straddling an office chair. "Didn't a Romefeller spokeswoman openly oppose these candidates? It caused an uproar with the public."

"What better way to engender the electorates' affection than being named the enemy of the rich and powerful? By the previous oppressive regime no less." Wufei looked to Trowa for confirmation.

Trowa nodded, "Especially since all these non-profits trace back to Romefeller, but the money was washed through at least two layers of charitable organizations."

"That's how they bought the votes for Parliament huh..." Une, who was resting her eyes, sat up, "Go further back, check the Justices."

"Already have, they're bankrolled by the same organizations as the MPs, free vacations, speaking fees, even got a bridge named after one of them." Trowa reached for his coffee, found the cup empty, and got up to make a new pot. "It's a total buyout."

Wufei pushed his glasses up and rubbed his eyes, "Were we asleep at the wheel or what?"

"We focused on local conflicts, many are alive today because of us. I don't regret our choices." Une said steadfastly, a good commander never let her people shoulder the blame. Her crew visibly relaxed a little.

After a pause, Trowa poured himself a fresh cup and picked up where he left off, "Then just last week, an article hidden inside the budget omnibus bill passed without a hitch, allowing the deployment of foreign police to control civil dissent anywhere in the world."

"This is how Davos recruits for his army." Une held out her mug, Trowa filled it as a matter of course.

Wufei grumbled under his breath, "Let's just off the bastard."

"Government by assassination is not a viable option. Besides," Sally cautioned, "He's only a puppet anyway."

Trowa scrolled through his data pad, "Oh, this'll be of interest to you two." He gestured at Sally and Wufei, "Remember that group of protesters at HQ?"

"What of them?" Wufei peered over the rim of his glasses.

"Despite their dismal turn-outs, they've been really effective at making changes on the legislative level."

"An astroturf movement?" Sally remembered the haphazard crowd with their glossy, professionally printed signs and media presence.

Wufei frowned, "Why would this be of interest to me and Sally?"

"Because you're going undercover," Une said, it'd better come from her than Trowa, "Infiltrate Peace By Any Means."

"What? Why us?" Wufei balked at the thought of blending in with that mob of drones, "Can't you go, Trowa? You're better at the deception game."

Trowa sipped his coffee serenely, "Your voice is more suited for protesting."

.

Relena settled in a seat between the Moldovan MP and representatives from the Kurdish Region. She regarded each of the MPs at the round table solemnly, more than fifty have shown up, they had to commandeer a bigger hall than the one she booked. The room quieted in anticipation.

"Thank you all for attending this meeting on such short notice, I'm sure you're eager to begin the discussion and have your concerns addressed."

"We appreciate you acknowledging us," one of the Mozambican representatives spoke slowly in English, "Our region has experienced a dangerous change in recent months and we are at a loss for a solution."

"Alright, please go ahead." Relena opened her data pad for notes, but respectfully kept her eyes on the MP.

"Since the withdrawal of the Preventers arbitration team, my district fell back into rioting." The MP wrung her hands nervously, "Our natives do not trust the Chinese aid workers assigned by the ESUN."

Relena was familiar with the project, contractors from China were sent to Mozambique to help with reconstruction after the Eve Wars.

"These workers brought extended families, purchased large swaths of real estate, and built permanent enclaves on our ancestral land." Another MP cut in, he was bolder than his peer, "Our people are being priced out of their own homes, racial tensions are high in the capital, many see this as colonization."

Alarms went off in Relena's head, "Did you request a new mitigation team?"

"We sent many urgent petitions but no ministry has responded." The first MP slumped in defeat, but her colleague stood up and fumed, "What's the point of the Union if you're just going to ignore the members?"

Relena winced inwardly, the ESUN was a mammoth bureaucracy mired in endless meetings, slow to respond and quick to dismiss. Now without the Preventers this was going to be even harder. "I don't have the resources nor the authority to resolve this conflict here, but I promise to bring this to the attention of the Presidential Council this afternoon."

The Mozambican representatives conferred briefly with each other and sat back, politely motioning for the others to voice their concerns. By the time they went around the table, Relena felt worn down by so many issues raised. How did she ever think visiting each country was going to help these people?

.

Mariemaia draped a damp towel around her neck, "Quatre just launched the last geosync satellite, they're making final adjustments to the solar panels" She said to the vidcom, toothbrush dangling from her mouth.

"Good, I don't know how long communications will remain open on earth." Une's voice crackled in reply.

"Long enough to allow an overlap while we bring the satellites online, at the very least, transmissions between the Colonies will be guaranteed."

"I just hope it's not too late, we have fewer and fewer allies in the ESUN, and they're escalating." Une looked at her daughter and longed to have her near, but it was no safer on Earth than with Quatre.

"Oh! Duo visited last night, our orbit is passing his cluster," The girl recalled, "Apparently L2 is not happy with Earth right now."

"Keep an eye on it for me, and stay out of trouble."

"Yes commander." Mariemaia mimed a salute with her toothbrush, dragging a smile out of Une. "Mom, you be careful too."

.

Dorothy stepped onto the landing deck, the artificial gravity of the docking bay always reminded her of the heaviness one felt climbing out of a pool, a sudden and cruel reminder of mass.

"Lady Catalonia," A passing engineer tipped his cap at her, "Back so soon?"

"Can't stay away from a handsome fella like you, Manus."

The burly man barked a laugh and moseyed off to do maintenance on her shuttle, shouting hellos at the pilot and crew, his thick Hungarian accent rung brightly in the bay. Dorothy smiled, she enjoyed the bustle of a resource satellite at the height of its production bell curve, her civilian shuttle dwarfed by the titanic industrial ships that lined the dock.

Someone touched her softly on the shoulder and she spun around to see Quatre take her hand, his beard tickled her skin as he bent to kiss it.

"People will see." Dorothy warned.

"Let them see."

She was more scrupulous, staying him with a palm on his chest when he leaned in, "People will talk."

"Let them talk."

"Your trust in your people is not entirely misplaced," Dorothy pinned him with her icy stare, "But even at the heart of our stronghold the walls have ears."

He was about to protest but decided against it at the last moment and backed off, smart boy, she smirked, "Besides, how would your friends feel if they found out through the grapevine instead of from your own lips?"

"Oh I think they'll get over it." Quatre offered her his arm, "Heero might appreciate a break from being the target of teasing."

.

"Why are the Colonies still hostile toward us? They're full members now with equal representation just like any country on Earth." The Minister of Culture looked at his colleagues in consternation, the council room was silent.

Relena frowned, did they really not see it? "The people of the Colonies are still wary of Earth's ambitions, and now the commission of the ESUN army-"

"Peacekeeping Force, our very own Blue Helmets." The President sat at the head of the long table, his deep set eyes watched her like a hawk.

"Regardless of its title, a military organization under direct control of the Presidential Council is going to antagonize a lot of people, especially those who are already skeptical of the intentions of the ESUN."

"You seem to hold a lot of sympathy for these... skeptics, Miss Darlian."

"It's important to understand the motivations of all sides in a conflict, in order to come to a mutually satisfactory solution." Relena bared her hands imploringly.

"These radicals won't be satisfied until the ESUN is dissolved, and the world once again descend into war." Minister of Finance glanced at the Council Clerk, she wanted this on the record. "Your meeting with them legitimized these petty complaints, now every little backwater country will threaten to secede when they don't get their way!"

The Minister of Defence raised a hand to impose order, "We should focus on suppressing extreme separatist views from the public discourse and restore peace."

"We can't just ignore the problems faced by these people." Relena still hoped to remind them who they were supposed to represent.

"The same people who committed terror attacks on your tour?" Davos said with mock confusion, "Wake up lady, you're too gullible."

"No, Mister President, you're the one who needs to wake up and look at the situation on the ground. If we don't address legitimate concerns people will have to seek alternative ways to express their dissent, more violent ways." Last chance, Relena was willing to allow them one more insult.

"That was a very thinly veiled threat, Former Queen, you've made it plain which side you're on."

"I'm on the side of the people, always."

"The wrong people, Your Majesty." The President tried and failed to mask his pleasure from goading her, "Since all of humanity has been unified under one nation, I wonder if we still need a Vice Foreign Minister..."

Picking up on the theme, the Finance Minister interjected, "Indeed, Miss Darlian, your office receives a handsome budget every year that could be used to aid the most impoverished regions."

They were trying to force her to resign, Relena took a calm deep breath, this meant she was a threat they desperately wanted to neutralize. She would make them work for it.

"It's precisely this attitude that alienated these nations," Relena stood up. "You see them as helpless failures in need of assistance, but they would much rather be productive members of the Union."

"You held a secret meeting to conspire with rogue states against the ESUN, but in light of your prior contributions to the Union, we will show leniency." Davos licked his lips, these next words were to be savoured, "You are dismissed from your office, Relena Darlian."

.

Heero regarded her with sidelong glances, unaccustomed to Relena's position in the front passenger seat. The armored van they used for transport was a two-seater, its cargo area outfitted for storing cash and other valuables. When she asked him where they were headed, he simply answered "Somewhere safe." There were dark shadows under her eyes, her leg shook with nervous energy. Freed from the responsibilities of ministership, she was entering uncharted space, it felt oddly familiar.

"The smaller countries fear the loss of autonomy," She tucked her bangs under a black baseball cap embroidered with the logo of a private security company, "And the nations most ravaged by the war feel bullied to abandon their traditional cultures in exchange for aid and loans from the ESUN."

"The Colonies are losing patience as well, it might boil over if the media continue to piss them off." He actually looked the part as a bank security guard, Relena tugged her ponytail through the Velcro straps of the cap, self conscious about her disguise.

She only sat silent for a couple of kilometers, "Have you thought about what we discussed last night?"

"Yeah...You'll have the first report by tonight." He tapped his finger on the steering wheel in agitation, "The net is not a friendly place for discourse."

"I'm used to dealing with hostile environments, sticks and stones may break my bones..."

"But words will bring about a revolution."

.

Tbc...