AN: Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!

Severus' glow was brighter than it had been for the last few days. He was not walking, but floating a few centimeters off the ground. There was even a hint of a smile on his face.

If Sirius could have vomited, he would have done so.

Severus sat upon the couch and glanced at Sirius. "What is upsetting you?"

Sirius glowered at him.

"Were the words too big in The Gorgias?"

"Everyone's an idiot compared to you, aren't they?" Sirius growled.

"Not everyone is an idiot, only people on your intellectual level."

Sirius' glow was a dark red.

Severus picked up his copy of Aristotle's Metaphysics.

"You don't care about me, do you?"

"I thought we established that fact many years ago."

"Why don't you admit that you hate me?"

"Why should I tell you things you already know?"

"Just dismiss me again! That's what you do to everyone around you!" Sirius threw up his hands.

"From what I understand, you don't have fond feelings towards me," Severus muttered.

"You're right, I can't stand the sight of you."

"Then why don't you close your mouth and read, or better yet, think of ways to improve your spying techniques?"

Sirius folded his hands over his chest.

Severus rolled his eyes before refocusing his attention on his book.

"I'm done reading The Gorgias."

"That was fast." Severus glanced up.

"It was an interesting read."

"It was one of my favorite Platonic dialogues too."

"Oh so now you want to be friendly."

"I am so confused." Severus set the book down. "Do you want to be my friend or berate me?"

"I want to discuss The Gorgias."

"Then do so in a civilized manner."

"Do you want to know what I learned from it?"

"Do I have a choice but to listen to your analysis?"

"I learned that the afterlife is the most unjust system imaginable!"

"Why would that be?" Severus' tone was that of pure boredom.

"Because horrible people like you get only a century in Purgatory whereas good people like me are left in purgatory for a millennium, and are constantly threatened with more Purgatory time!" Sirius argued. "Everyone kisses your arse, but nobody ever gives me credit for the things I did right!"

"This sounds like a problem best taken up with St. Peter or the Trinity."

"I will take it up with them as soon as I'm done with you!"

Severus slid the book away from him.

Sirius stood and pointed to Severus. "It's your fault that I'm here! Everything that's happened to me is your fault!"

"You're right. If I hadn't agreed to be in this program with you, then you would be rotting in Purgatory watching your life play before your eyes for a millennium." Severus smirked. "Truly I am a horrible person for helping you escape that situation."

"Oh yes, Severus the savior, Severus the saint, Severus the greatest man who's ever lived, second only to the Trinity themselves!"

"Is there a point to this rant?"

"You need to be brought to justice!"

"I am being brought to justice."

"No you aren't!" Sirius shouted. "Your victims are as dead as we are, and you've left a trail of broken hearted students in your wake! Still, I'm the evil one!"

"I swear if I was alive you would be giving me such a migraine right now."

"You deserve much more than a headache!"

Severus glared at Sirius. "If you don't want to work on this mission anymore you know how to call St. Peter or Dismas. I'm sure they can have a room in Purgatory ready for you by tomorrow morning."

"No, because then I'd get no time off Purgatory, and they may add more time for refusing to work with you." Sirius' glow intensified. "I am not going back there for a millennium!"

"Then I'd suggest you shut your mouth and find something more productive to do than yell at me."

"This isn't yelling, it's academic conversation. I'm expressing my thoughts on The Gorgias!"

"So far all you've done is shout about how unfair you think our sentences are."

"Yes," Sirius snarled. "If I had been judged by Plato's judges, if they could only look at the beauty of my soul, and the things I did, at the way people felt about me, then I would be in heaven."

"Actually, I think the Trinity was an excellent judge of your character," Severus replied. "The only question I have for them is why you aren't damned."

"They said there was just enough love in me not to be damned, but I needed to learn atonement for my actions."

"Once again, I agree with them wholeheartedly. You are an unrepentant asshole who throws temper tantrums as if he was a toddler."

"Unrepentant?

"Yes, I have yet to hear you apologize for any of your past mistakes."

"What do I have to be sorry for compared to you?" Sirius snapped. "I never killed, I never stole, I never said a bad thing against muggleborns. The only thing I ever did was wrong was say a few mean things to you."

Severus snorted. "In other words, you're angry because someone finally called you out on your behavior, and Dumbledore wasn't there to bail you out."

"Everything I did was so minor compared to you."

Severus' glow became neon red. "Your treatment of me was not minor, and you know it."

"I never bought into pureblood supremacy. I defended muggleborns, at least when it was convenient for me. Did that not count for anything?"

"Doing the bare minimum is not enough in the afterlife."

"I never killed!"

"You attempted to murder me!"

Sirius closed his mouth.

Severus stood. "You accuse me of arrogance, yet you take no time to reflect upon yourself! Yes, I murdered, but I never considered using an unwitting friend to do the deed for me."

Sirius' glow became orange.

"You were more than wiling to have Lupin kill me that night in the shack."

"That was just a prank!"

"Would you have minded if I died at his hands?"

Sirius' glow lessened.

"Lupin trusted you to care for him during his episodes. You were willing to betray that trust in one of the most heinous ways possible, yet you are so self-righteous you cannot admit that what you did may have been even slightly unethical."

"Fine," Sirius argued. "The Trinity didn't like that. I will admit that it might not have been my finest moment."

"That's putting it mildly."

"But that isn't the only reason they sent me to purgatory. In fact, I don't even think that's the main reason."

"What was the main reason?"

"They couldn't take a joke!"

"You were dumb enough to joke with them during the trial?" Severus raised an eyebrow.

"No, I laughed when Metatron brought up hanging you from the tree."

Severus' eyes grew.

"When Metatron mentioned that I hung you upside, all I could think of was your expression and your filthy underpants." Sirius snickered. "I know you won't agree with me, but it was hilarious."

Severus' voice was soft. "You are the biggest dunderhead alive."

"Oh there's a shocking opinion coming from you."

"Do you have any idea who you were talking to?"

"Yeah, the Trinity."

"Do you know who makes up the Trinity?"

"The creator, redeemer, and sanctifier?"

"What is the redeemer's name?"

"Jesus," Sirius was red again. "You don't have to treat me like I'm three."

"Jesus died by crucifixion!"

Sirius gave him a blank look.

"He was hung from a tree while people mocked him. Don't you think my situation resonated with him?"

"Yeah, but they were trying to kill him. I wasn't trying to kill you."

"Not that day anyway."

"Fine, I tried to kill you. Still, there's a difference between what happened to him and you."

"What is the difference?" Severus snapped. "You still hung someone, stripped him, and mocked him! At heart, it's the same action."

"I was just joking."

"I'm sure the centurions told him they were just joking when they scourged him and gambled away his clothes."

"I," Sirius' glow dimmed. "I'm nothing like them."

"How?"

"I didn't want to kill anyone."

"That day you didn't mean to kill anyone, but given the chance you would have had me dead," Severus argued. "At heart, you are no different than the centurions who hung him."

"I…" Sirius' glow pulsated. "I'm not like them."

"How?"

"I'm not like them!"

"How?" Severus yelled. "How are you not like them?"

Sirius opened his mouth, but no words came.

"If I was confronted with someone who used a snake to kill another I would damn them because I know how painful the experience is! You only got one millennium in Purgatory, yet you behave as if all your sins should be ignored!"

"They were jokes," Sirius squeaked. "They were just jokes."

"Nobody up here finds them funny." Severus sat.

Sirius' glow was almost nonexistent.

"You were praised all your life for being a Gryffindor and doing the bare minimum to be a decent person. Now you're somewhere where none of it matters. The Trinity doesn't care about one's house, and they sure as hell don't think the bare minimum is enough when you strip, hang and mock someone then laugh about doing so."

Sirius bowed his head.

"I'm sure everything I say will go over your head, but as far as I'm concerned, one millennium is not enough time. You deserved a couple more, or eternal damnation."

Sirius shrank.

"I'm going to read. I'd suggest you consider how to improve your spying skills in the meantime, or at least keep quiet." Severus picked up his book and removed his eyes from the other spirit.

Sirius did not say another word all night. Instead he stared into space, wondering who he truly was.