AN: Thank you all for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!

Sirius knew better than to open his mouth.

Severus' body was a crackling bright orange. It would only take one foolish movement for him to erupt into flames. Better to do nothing then feel the full brunt of his wrath.

"Your brilliant plan blew up in our face!" Severus shouted.

"What plan?"

"The plan to ask about Mr. Weasley! It failed spectacularly!"

Sirius squirmed.

"Not only does she despise Mr. Weasley, but she despises me now as well!"

He kept his gaze on the orange spirit.

"She kicked me out of her house! She told me to leave! She wants nothing to do with me, and it's all your fault!" Severus erupted into flames.

Only the fires of hell could compare with the brightness of Severus' body. Had Sirius had skin, he would have third degree burns.

"SHE HATES ME AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" His voice sounded less like a spirit and more like a feral, wounded animal.

Sirius backed away.

"SHE HATES ME!"

"Why do you think she hates you?" Sirius squeaked.

The flames were extinguished, though his body was still orange. "She hates me, and it's all your fault!"

"What exactly happened?"

Severus' glow intensified. "Why should I tell you anything?"

"If you fail this mission I go back to Purgatory. I need to know what happened."

"Go to hell!"

"Thankfully I'm not going there, but I'd like to avoid more Purgatory time. In order to do so, I need to know what happened so we can work through it."

"You just want to mock me," Severus hissed.

"Mocking you won't help me. I want time off of Purgatory, not tack more time on."

Severus' glow pulsated.

"You want time off of Purgatory too. It's in your best interest to help me in order to help yourself."

"All you've done is muck this up!"

"This may not be as bad as you believe. I know Hermione. Perhaps I can smooth things over between you two."

"How? You can't talk to her!"

"No, but I know how she thinks. I can give you insight into what she may do."

"You don't know the first thing about her!"

"Tell me what happened and we'll see how much or little I know about her."

"Fine." Severus' glow was bright red. "I asked her about Ron. She told me it was none of my business and to stay out of her life. Also, she told me to tell you to go have sexual intercourse with yourself."

"There's no need to make things up."

"I would not make that up!"

Sirius stared at him, looking for any sign of sarcasm. He came up empty. His glow dulled and his voice was softer. "She really did not want to discuss her love life the?"

"No."

"What happened after you asked her about it?"

"We got in a fight. She accused me of treating her like a charity case, and then said I was only good for helping her in potions. I told her I wouldn't serve another master. Then she threatened to sprinkle me with holy water. When I told her how futile that would be she kicked me out."

"So you left?"

"I left a few seconds later. I told her I wanted to depart because I did not want to waste my time with someone who thought I was a glorified servant." His glow became a stark white as his eyes bulged. His voice was softer. "Did I truly imply Ms. Granger was a waste of time?"

"It sounds like you did."

"I called her a waste of time."

"It sounds like it."

Severus crumpled onto the floor.

"Wait to go Mr. I'm So Amazing with Women! I'm sure she's blown away by your amazing people skills!"

Severus buried his face into his hands.

"I'm sure St. Pete and Dismas will love to hear how you blew it with her! I'll bet they're putting together our Purgatory rooms right now all because you couldn't keep from blowing your temper for five bloody minutes!"

"How could I imply she was a waste of time?" Severus squeaked.

"I'm not going down with you!" Sirius exclaimed. "This mission failed because of you, not me!"

"I called her a waste of time," Severus whispered.

"Yes, you did, but don't worry! I'm going to make it clear that this has nothing to do with me. All I did was give advice you couldn't carry out. None of this is my fault! None of it!"

Severus was blue. "I told her she was my friend yesterday, only to say the most hurtful thing I could think to say to her today."

"I think we established that."

"I pushed her away," Severus' glow became a darker blue. "I pushed her away as hard as I could. Now, I may never see her again."

Sirius stood.

"She was the best thing that's happened to me in years, yet I said that to her. How could I be such a dunderhead?"

"Because you are a dunderhead! As arrogant as you are, you'd think you'd have any idea how to deal with people."

Severus remained curled in a ball.

Sirius glanced around the room. "St. Pete and Dismas aren't here yet. There's a chance we can salvage this."

"How? Ms. Granger is gone." Severus' voice was weak.

"No, but I can still get to heaven."

"I don't care about heaven!"

Sirius glared at him. "Would you not say that?"

"I just lost the best friend I've ever had, and you're worried about watching a bloody TV screen for the next millennium?"

"It isn't my fault you blew this."

"I know. I blew it. I had something beautiful and I blew it all to hell."

Sirius' glow was a light blue as he glanced at the other man. If spirits could have cried, Severus would be in tears, uncaring as to who else was watching. It was one thing to imagine him weeping alone in a room over a girl, but doing so in front of his mortal enemy?

Could it be that Sirius didn't understand how deeply Severus cared about Hermione?

"When you go to Purgatory, they'll show you a few pleasant memories from your youth." Severus continued. "All they will show me is how I lost Ms. Granger because I shouted at her. I lost her the same way I lost Lily."

"Hermione isn't Lily," Sirius spoke to Severus as if he was a person in pain, not an arrogant, greasy git.

Severus did not look up.

"Hey," Sirius nudged him with his foot. "Hermione isn't Lily. She may forgive you."

"Why would she forgive me?"

"Because that's who she is."

Severus glanced up.

"Hermione isn't wrathful." Sirius knelt beside him. "She is capable of forgiveness."

"Nobody has ever messed up around her like I just did."

"Something tell me Ron treated her much worse than you did right now."

"She never forgave Mr. Weasley, why would she forgive me?"

"Because she cares for you and understands that you sometimes say stupid things."

"Why would anyone forgive me for saying something stupid, especially something so hurtful?"

"Look," Sirius' glow dimmed. "This is nothing like your situation with Lily."

"How? I insulted a friend. It's the exact same situation!"

"No, it's not because Hermione doesn't behave like Lily at all."

"How?"

"Lily was looking for reasons to dump you." Sirius kept his eyes on the other spirit. "She told us as much before we, well you know."

"She was talking to James behind my back?" Severus shook.

"Yeah, and she wasn't just berating him for being rude to you." Sirius replied. "They were friends before she dumped you. She just didn't have the guts to tell you that."

Severus looked down.

"But Hermione isn't like that," Sirius continued. "She hasn't been talking to any other spirits, so you should be fine there."

Severus' frown deepened.

"Nobody has come to collect us," Sirius continued. "This means we have a chance, but we have to play our hand perfectly in order to make this right."

"Why bother? I will just muck everything up again." Severus shook his head.

"We're going to bother because Hermione is worth it."

Severus blinked.

"Okay, let me put it this way." Sirius continued. "If the saints are giving us one last chance to see her, don't you want to make that time count?"

"Yes."

"Then let's rehearse what you're going to say to her."

Severus gave him a blank expression.

"Rehearsing often helps me figure out what to do in a difficult situation. It could work for you."

"I know, but you are no Hermione."

"True, you hate me much more than you hate her," Sirius' glow became yellow. "Meaning you're more likely to lose your temper with me. If you can keep your cool around me, you can do it around her."

Severus' glow returned to its usual hue.

"So, what's the first thing you are going to tell her?"

"I deeply apologize for implying you were a waste of time. I did not mean it at all."

"Great start."

"But…"

"No!" Sirius snapped. "Do not say 'but.'"

Severus scowled. "You didn't let me finish."

"I don't need to," Sirius replied. "The second you say, 'but' is the second she pulls out her holy water and starts sprinkling it on you."

"But she was behaving unreasonably too."

"Yes, but you don't tell her that in the moment. You have to focus on getting back in her good graces."

"I refuse to grovel at her feet." If Severus could've huffed he would've done so.

"A second ago you were ready to throw yourself in Purgatory because you were so upset at how you treated her, and now you don't want to grovel." Sirius groaned. "You truly are hopeless."

"This situation is extremely complicated."

"No, this is very simple. Hermione thinks you're like every other man in her life who has insulted and abandoned her. You need to set yourself apart from them."

"What would you have me do? I cannot bring her flowers or chocolates."

"True, and those do help in situations such as this." Sirius scratched his chin.

Severus' glow returned to its blue hue. "She will never take me back."

"With that kind of attitude she probably won't."

Severus raised an eyebrow.

"You need to apologize to her, and show her you're remorseful, but you can't lose all your self-respect. Otherwise, she'll only be with you out of pity."

"Just like Lily was."

"Yeah." Sirius' glow lessened. "A little like her."

Silence fell between them.

"I have never been forgiven before," Severus whispered.

"Then this will be a new experience for both you and her," Sirius answered.

"How?"

"I don't think a man has ever said, 'I'm sorry' to her and meant it as much as you do."

"Truly?"

"Truly." Sirius gave him a soft smile.

"That would be unfortunate," Severus mused.

"It is, which is why she needs a man to take some responsibility for his actions without being so pathetic she feels nothing but pity for him."

"I do not know if I can manage that."

"I think you can." Sirius put a hand on his shoulder.

"You're only saying that because you want out of Purgatory."

"No, I'm saying it because you care of her."

"Not enough to stay out of my own way."

"Get over yourself for ten seconds," Sirius snapped. "If you didn't care for her you wouldn't keep telling me heaven doesn't matter as much as her happiness. You wouldn't be tearing yourself up over losing her."

"Perhaps."

"Hermione is not a dunderhead. She will see how much you care for her and react accordingly. All you need to do is apologize and let her see how much you care."

"What if she rejects me?"

"What if she accepts your apology?"

His glow brightened.

"I'll tell you what," Sirius stood. "I'll spy for you. Granted I was going to do that anyway, but this time I'll pay even closer attention to how Hermione's feeling, see if she mentions you at all."

Severus pursed his lips together.

"If she's as torn up about it as I think she is, I'll let you know."

"I would like that."

"In the meantime." Sirius patted his back. "Start practicing that sincere apology. Have it come from the heart, and don't say 'but.'"

"I think I can manage that," Severus replied.

"I know you can," Sirius smiled and turned towards the wall.

"I cannot believe I am saying this, but thank you for the vote of confidence," Severus began.

"Believe me, I'm saying many things I thought I'd never say to you," Sirius replied. "Including 'you're welcome.'"

"Be aware though," Severus stood. "If Ms. Granger takes me back, I will return to despising you."

Sirius grinned. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

With that, he disappeared.