AN: The people have overwhelmingly spoken! I will be posting every weekday from here on out, with no weeks off. The next update will be on Monday.
Also we had a guest author today. Yep, you will read a part of a Platonic dialogue! The citation is Plato, The Symposium (trans. M.C. Howatson) Cambridge University Press New York
Thank you so much for the overwhelming support! It is very deeply appreciated.
Once upon a time our anatomy was quite different from what it is now.
Sirius' glow brightened. This was an interesting way of beginning a philosophical speech.
In the first place there were not merely two sexes as there are now, male and female, but three, and the third was a combination of the other two. This sex itself has disappeared but its name, androgynous, survives. At that time the androgynous sex was distinct in form and name, having physical features from both the male and the female
This was already more fascinating than the other speeches combined! Perhaps there were a few interesting things even Severus enjoyed.
Secondly, the form of every person was completely round, with back and sides making a circle, and with four arms, the same number of legs, and two faces exactly alike set on a round neck. There was one head for the two faces (which looked in opposite ways), four ears, two sets of genitals and everything else as you might guess from these particulars. They walked about upright, as we do today, backwards or forwards as they pleased. Whenever they wanted to move fast they pushed off from the ground and quickly wheeled over and over in a circle with their eight limbs, like those acrobats who perform cartwheels by whirling round with their legs straight out.
People as bouncing balls? Who sat up and thought of these things? The Oracle of Delphi may not have been the only one inhaling hallucinogens.
The reason for the sexes being as they were and three in number is that originally the male was the offspring of the Sun, the female of the Earth, and the androgynous of the Moon which shares the nature of both Sun and Earth. Because they resembled their parents the offspring themselves were round and their movement was circular also. They were awesome in strength and might, and their ambition was great too. They made an assault on the gods, and what Homer says about Ephialtes and Otus is said about these too, that they tried to make an ascent to heaven in order to attack the gods.
Sex, drugs, music, and violence! This was a story Sirius could enjoy!
"Are you sure you want to eat out of the carton like that?"
"Why not?" Hermione dug her spoon into the strawberry ice cream carton.
"I don't know," Severus admitted. "It just seems like eating out of a bowl would be more civilized."
"Are you calling me uncivilized?" She smirked.
"Perish the thought," his glow was a bright yellow. "Still, I thought only women on TV ate out of the ice cream carton when they were depressed."
"First of all, I am not depressed."
"That is great to hear."
"Second of all, there is sometimes truth in television."
"I suppose, but that doesn't mean you are anything like those women."
"I'm a woman." She scooped more ice cream. "All women have things in common, such as eating ice cream directly from a container."
"What if they are lactose intolerant?"
"There's always coconut ice cream."
Severus raised an eyebrow. "Coconut ice cream?"
"Yes, it's quite delicious."
Severus crossed his arms over his chest.
"Why are you staring at me like that?" She took another bite of her ice cream.
"I just didn't expect you to like coconut ice cream or behave like Kendall Kane."
"Kendall Kane." Her eyes were huge. "The character from Stanley's Corner?"
Severus' glow dimmed.
"Did you watch that show while alive?"
"Of course I didn't." His glow was pulsating. "I merely flip channels sometimes and it just happened to be on one day."
"Then you lingered on a station for too long and before you knew it, you were hooked on a soap opera."
"Absolutely not." Severus became white. "I would not be caught dead watching a vapid show such as General Hospital or Stanley's Corner."
"Oh, so you has two soap operas you were addicted to?" Her eyes were agleam.
"Of course not! It is insulting that you would think so little of me."
"I don't think little of you at all. I just find it amusing that you would enjoy soaps."
"Go ahead and amuse yourself all you want. I do not enjoy those shows in the slightest."
She giggled. "For the record, my soap of choice is Stanley's Corner."
"I have no soap of choice." If he could have snorted, he would have.
"Sure." She drawled before taking another bite of ice cream.
So saying he [Zeus] proceeded to cut everyone in two, just as people cut up sorb-apples for preserving or slice eggs with a hair. As he divided them he told Apollo to take each separated half and turn round the face and half neck to the cut side, so that each person by contemplating its own cut surface might behave more moderately. He also told Apollo to heal their wounds.
Sirius didn't remember much Greek mythology, but this seemed like something like those jerk gods would do. At least they healed the rolling ball creatures. That counted for something.
So Apollo proceeded to turn the faces round and gathered the skin all together on the belly, as we now call it, like a purse with a drawstring, leaving one opening in the centre which he fastened with a knot, and which is now called the navel. He also smoothed out most of the wrinkles and fashioned the chest, using a tool such as shoemakers use when they smooth out wrinkles in leather on the last. But he let a few wrinkles remain, around the belly and navel, to be a reminder of what happened ages ago.
As interesting as this was, Sirius was struggling to see how it related to philosophy and love. Sure, love was the greatest of the gods. This had been hammered into his head for the last several chapters. What did slicing a bouncing ball in two have to do with Hermione's happiness though?
"I've had about enough of your conspiracy theories. Soap operas have never interesting me in the slightest, and if I did not care so much for you I would be insulted at the insinuation that I enjoyed them!" Severus' frown deepened.
She took another bite of her strawberry ice cream, a grin still plastered onto her face.
"Will you not get brain freeze from eating that so quickly?" He leaned towards her.
"Probably, but at the moment I feel fine."
"You should not only live in the moment. Your future is important too."
She took another bite.
"Getting off the topic of soap operas and onto a more pertinent issue," he lowered his voice. "Why are you wearing that small black dress?"
Her smile vanished as she glanced down into the carton.
"Were you in the middle of something? Did I interrupt your evening with another man?" His voice softened.
"No."
"Then why are you dressed as you are?"
"Do you promise not to laugh at my reasoning."
"Of course I will not. I may laugh with you, but I promise never to laugh at you."
She relaxed.
After the original nature of every human being had been severed in this way, the two parts longed for each other and tried to come together again. They threw their arms around one another in close embrace,desiring to be reunited, and they began to die of hunger and general inactivity because they refused to do anything at all as separate beings. Whenever one of the two died and the other was left alone, the survivor would look for another mate to embrace, either the half of an original woman, as we now call it, or the half of a man. But in any case they were beginning to die
Sirius turned blue. It brought to mind James, Remus, and Peter. Up to this point he had been too infuriated with his lot in the afterlife to dwell on them for too long. Now that he was forced to pause, he realized he missed them more than he would ever care to admit.
Did his friends ever think of him? The busy work in Purgatory was probably ensuring James was too busy to put two thoughts together. Peter was probably frozen in Judecca for his treason. Serves him right. Still, Sirius wouldn't have minded if his mind turned to him every once in a while. Then there was Remus, who dwelt in heaven. Did he ever give Sirius a passing thought, or was he too preoccupied with being happy to care? If the latter was the case Sirius couldn't have blamed him. Someone may have told Remus what Sirius had planned to do to Severus that night in the Shrieking Shack. If so, Remus may have washed his hands of Sirius once and for all, which may be what he deserved.
Sirius still missed them.
Zeus took pity on them and thought up another plan: he moved their genital organs round to the front. Up until then they had their genitals on (what was originally) the outside of their bodies, and conception and birth took place not in the body after physical union but, as with cicadas in the ground. By moving their genitals round to the front, Zeus now caused them to reproduce by intercourse with one another through these organs, the male penetrating the female. He did this in order that when couples encountered one another and embraced, if a man encountered a woman, he might impregnate her and the race might continue, and if a man encountered another man, at any rate they might achieve satisfaction from the union and after this respite turn to their tasks and get on with the business of life.
What happened to the woman who yearned for another woman? They must have needed to fend for themselves. Pity.
Still, intercourse was one way of unifying with another person. Someone had tried to explain that to Sirius, but he'd been too immature to pay attention. What had happened to his many lovers anyway? Did they ever think of him, or was he forgettable? All of them flashed through his mind.
The idea of intercourse as unification intrigued Sirius. It had never occurred to him that he could be unified with another person, heart and soul. Sex could've been lovemaking, had he allowed it to be.
Too bad he could never go back and search for a someone to connect with.
"I thought you would be angry when you arrived, assuming you even did," she whispered. "If this was our last evening together, I wanted it to be memorable. The first was to look nice for you. If I was lucky, I thought I could entice you to stay."
"You are enticing anyway," he muttered.
She swallowed. "Excuse me, I didn't hear you."
"Nothing," he sat up straighter. "I've just never had anyone dress up for me."
"That's a shame."
"In their defense, I never dressed up for anyone either."
"Surely you put on some nicer robes for a woman every once in a while."
"My dating robes were singed."
She cocked her head.
"It occurred during your first year. Someone put a blueball flame onto my robes. It ruined them."
Her eyes grew. His lips curled up.
"I am so sorry. If I'd had any idea you actually wore them on dates I would've found another way to get you to stop cursing Harry," she replied. "Then again considering that you weren't doing that in the first place I would take back the acton altogether."
"You were trying to protect a friend. After some reflection I realize I cannot fault you for that."
"Yes, but I could have ruined your chance to meet someone. I am so sorry for that."
"There is no reason to apologize. Not having anything to wear got me out of several blind dates with witches who I'm certain were dunderheads."
"They couldn't have all been dunderheads."
"Enough of the ones I met were to make me swear off dating."
"But you wouldn't have sworn it off forever."
His glow dimmed."
"If you'd survived the war," her voice was softer, "would you have sworn off dating forever?"
So it is that ever since that far-off time, love of one person for another has been inborn in human beings, and its role is to restore us to our ancient state by trying to make unity out of duality and to heal our human condition. For each of us is a mere tally of a person, one of two sides of a filleted fish, one half of an original whole. We are all continually searching for our other half.
So this is where the concept of a soulmate came from!
Sirius' glow intensified. Of course! This is exactly what Hermione needs! A soulmate!
"I honestly could not see myself living past the war, so I did not consider a lover." His glow was a light blue.
"If you had though, would you have dated?" She set down the ice cream onto the table.
"If I'd met the right woman, perhaps."
"Perhaps?"
"Yes."
"At some point you could've opened yourself up though. There was no more danger, and you deserved love."
"True, but it would've needed to be under specific circumstances," he answered.
"What would those have been?" She leaned closer to him.
"I would have needed to meet the right woman. She would need to be a particular kind of woman, someone who could understand what kind of man I am. She should not tolerate poor behavior from me, but she'd need to understand that I make mistakes. Intelligence is a must, ambition would be nice."
"I'll bet she'd need to know how to cook too." There was a gleam in her eyes.
"No, I am content to cook for her." he smirked. "Still, she would need to be self-sufficient. I don't want anyone who is too clingy, but I want someone who isn't afraid to tell me she cares. Overall, she would need to accept me for who I am."
"Perhaps you'll meet someone in heaven like that."
"Perhaps she is on earth."
Now, whenever a lover of boys, or anyone else for that matter, meets his own actual other half, the pair are overcome to an extraordinary degree by sensations of affection, intimacy and love, and they virtually refuse to be parted from each other even for a short time. These are the couples who pass their whole lives together; yet they could not say what it is they want from one another. For no one would suppose it to be only the desire for love-making that causes the one to yearn for the other so intensely. It is clear that the soul of each wants something else which it cannot put into words but it feels instinctively what it wants and expresses it in riddles.
Severus was right that Ron was not her true love, but her other half was out there. All Sirius needed to do was find him and persuade Severus to help them unite.
If the god Hephaestus, welding tools in hand, were to stand over them where they lie together, and ask, ''What is it that you two want from each other?'' they would be unable to answer. Suppose he were to ask them again, ''Is this your desire, to be always together, as close as possible, and never parted from each other day or night? If this is what you want, I am ready to join you together and fuse you until, instead of two, you become one. For your whole lives long the two of you will live together as one, and when you die you will die together and even in the Underworld you will be one rather than two. Tell me if this is what you long for and if it will satisfy you to achieve this''.
"Were you dating someone before you died?" She asked. "If so I can try to bring her here so you can see her again."
"No."
"It would be no problem to bring her. Surely you met someone who fit your criteria."
"You are the closest person to meet all my criteria." His glow was a warm yellow. "You are the first person to show me forgiveness and friendship. Nobody has accepted me like you have. For all these reasons, I will always cherish you."
"You are probably the only man who has apologized and meant it, as well as the only one who forgive me without throwing my mistakes in my face." She grinned.
"I can no longer fathom intentionally hurting you."
"I feel the same way."
"Whatever happens, Hermione, please promise me we can remain friends."
She put her hand over his. Even though it went right through him, she still felt the warmth.
"I promise.
We know that no one who heard these words would deny them or would admit to wanting anything else. He would simply think that to join with and melt into his beloved, so that instead of two they should become one, was exactly what he had so long desired. The reason is that our nature was originally like this and we were a whole, and the desire and pursuit of the whole is called love.
Hermione and Severus gazed into each other's eyes, both wishing they could be united in touch.