Chapter 7: New Heartbeats

Yuuri sat alone in the darkened Detroit ice rink, looking out where he had just been practicing the same thing he had practiced nearly every day since his return from his disastrous performance in the Sochi Grand Prix Final. His heart flickered inside with the fading warmth that Victor's free skate music always left after he skated to it. His mind went back to his earlier meeting with Coach Celestino and the hard decision he had finally made.

"So, you have made a decision?" Celestino asked, giving him a hopeful look.

The hope faded as he regarded Yuuri's downcast expression.

"I'm going back to Japan," Yuuri managed softly.

"I see. Does this mean you are retiring from skating or just…?"

"I'm finished with my college degree now," Yuuri answered, keeping his eyes dutifully lowered, "but I don't know yet what I want to do. I need more time to think things through and to figure out what to do next."

"Hmm, I'm sorry to hear that," Celestino said, sounding sympathetic, but clearly disappointed, "I've told you this before, there is every reason to believe that you have a bright future as a skater. You are still young enough yet that with some work on your confidence, we can overcome your anxiety. You will go to the Grand Prix Final again if you just trust yourself enough to try."

Yuuri gave his coach a sad smile.

"Thank you," he said quietly, bowing respectfully, "I am still going to end things for now, so that I can go home and think carefully about this before making a final decision."

"Good luck then," Celestino said, taking the younger man's hand in his and shaking gently, "You know where to find me when you are ready to make a decision."

Yuuri sighed wearily, looking out at the ice and almost seeing Victor's slender, willowy body dancing around the ice, a little, dreamy smile on his lips and his mind lost in the beauty of doing something so close to his heart.

"Victor," he whispered, "I do want to skate on the same ice with you again someday. I don't know how it will happen, but I still have that as my goal. I'm going home now to think things over and to figure something out. But, don't worry. I haven't given up on this. I still love the ice too, and I want to share that love with you. Someday, I want to be able to talk to you and to tell you how much you've inspired me. I don't know what it will take to make that happen, but…I want to."

He bent over to remove his skates and slipped them into his backpack before putting on his street shoes and heading out into the dark streets. He felt grateful that the later time meant that there were less people around, so he could sink back into his thoughts more readily.

I'd go somewhere with Phichit to hang out a little, but he still has one more exam to take, so he'll be busy studying. I'm kind of hungry, but even if I ate something, I think I'd barely taste it. I've been feeling stressed out a lot lately, and even sleeping doesn't make me feel better.

Especially with those dreams I keep having.

Phichit had to wake me up again last night, because again I was dreaming of being some kind of monster and hurting Victor. When I woke up, I was still seeing Victor's scared face in my mind. Even worse than the fact that I was a monster in my dream, I woke up from those dreams feeling aroused and smelling a scent that in my dream was Victor's sexual scent…the way he smelled when I stripped him and laid on top of him.

He swallowed hard, shivering from more than the chill in the air.

I could hear Victor's scared voice in my ears, but I felt cold and numb inside…like I couldn't be merciful or care about what I was doing. God, it felt like I had no control at all. I really was horrible.

He paused as he reached the middle of a pedestrian bridge that led back to the area where his dormitory was located. Looking out over the dark, rushing water below, he tried to let the soothing sound drown out the memory of the content of his dreams.

I should try to stop thinking about it. I'm sure it's just because I messed things up so badly in Sochi. I had hoped to talk to Victor, to tell him how much he's inspired me over the years. I wanted to stand in front of him, feeling proud of my performance, feeling that it was a way to honor him. I wanted to see his ocean colored eyes sparkle with happiness and his smile that would have been just for me…for that one moment.

We didn't get to have that moment and I have so many regrets.

Yuuri sighed heavily and shook his head, then continued across the bridge.

It's hard not knowing if I'll ever get the chance to meet Victor and talk to him. I…

Yuuri's feet stopped as a rustling in the nearby bushes caught his attention and a sad, scared whimper sounded from within.

"P-please…please stop!"

"Be quiet," another voice scolded, and Yuuri could hear the swish of clothing catching the brush and moving it, "You shouldn't be out here when you're in heat, and you know it!"

"I was t-trying to just get more pills! The b-bottle spilled and I…"

"Doesn't matter why. Shut up and spread your legs. You know you want it. I can smell it on you."

"Get off of me! Please! Someone help!"

"Be quiet, or I'll bite you, just do you have to depend on me. I've got a few already who have to, you know."

"Please no! Don't bite me. I…I'll let you do what you want. Just please let me go?"

An omega in heat.

Yuuri shivered as he caught the omega's alluring scent and he felt a twinge in his loins.

Within the bushes, there was more rustling and the sounds of the omega whimpering as the alpha moved to make his conquest.

It's wrong.

The omega doesn't want this, but the alpha has the power. Even though I know it's wrong, I too, feel the draw of the omega's heat. It's…like in my dream about Victor.

Yuuri suffered a harsh flash of Victor's scared face leaking tears and his scared voice asking for mercy.

NO!

He burst into the bushes and skidded to a stop, just short of where the alpha knelt atop the naked and softly sobbing omega.

"He said to get off!" Yuuri growled, unsure why he wasn't the least bit afraid of the alpha being bigger than he was, and looking quite angry, "I took video on my cell of him refusing. If you don't leave, I'll report you to the authorities. Go now!"

The alpha snarled, but climbed off of the slighter omega, grabbing his scattered clothes and making a hasty retreat. Yuuri moved closer as the omega tugged his own clothes back into place, then his light blue eyes looked into Yuuri's curiously.

"Th-thank you," he said, his voice shaking hard, "B-but aren't you an alpha too? Are you going to…?"

Yuuri shook his head firmly.

"I'm not an alpha," he said calmly, "Alphas are animals. You will be okay with me. Let me get you back home before you run into more trouble."

The young man brushed a handful of pretty blond hairs out of his face, reminding Yuuri instantly of Victor.

"I can tell you really are an alpha," the omega said, his voice calming, "I know that my scent is affecting you."

"It doesn't matter," Yuuri assured him, "I'm not going to hurt you. Come on…erm…"

"Kyle," the blond man answered, accepting Yuuri's hand and allowing the Japanese skater to pull him to his feet, "And you are?"

"Oh, I'm Yuuri. I just graduated…well, I mean, I just finished my classes, here at the university. Are you a student?"

"Yeah, I'm a junior. I just…I was really scared just now, because I didn't have any protection with me and that alpha didn't either. I would get kicked out of school probably if I got pregnant, and my parents would probably make me come home. Y-you really saved me…and…and I do feel kind of attracted to you and I'm in heat. Look, I have some protection in my room and my roommate already left. I promise it'll just be for tonight and I won't look for you after. I just…I'm feeling…"

"It's okay," Yuuri said sympathetically, putting an arm around the Omega as they headed towards the young man's dormitory, "I get it. But…I'm not like that. We don't know each other. I'm…I'm sorry. I don't mean to offend you."

"It's okay," Kyle said quickly, his cheeks flushing, "You probably think I'm a slut, asking you to do something like that."

"No," Yuuri assured him, "I don't think that. I admit you're good looking and you do smell tempting to me. But I can't be with someone I don't even know."

Kyle's smile widened as they reached the dorm and he reached for the door handle at the front entrance.

"You could come up and we could get to know each other," he snickered, "You're really cute, Yuuri."

"Eh…th-thanks," Yuuri stammered, blushing, "but I've gotta…ah…um…I'm going back to Japan and…"

"Thank you, Yuuri," Kyle laughed, "You're a good guy, especially for an alpha."

He walked inside and the door closed before Yuuri could issue his objection.

"I'm not…an…"

He paused, breathing the cold air and still smelling the omega's tempting scent.

I can't be an alpha.

I wasn't identified as one, and I've never been dominant with anyone about anything. I have been having funny feelings, and I do smell omegas pretty strongly, but…

…no…

I'm not an alpha.

Alphas are animals.

They are monsters.

That's not what I am at all.

XXXXXXXXXX

Victor arrived at the St. Petersburg skating rink well before sunrise, arriving just as the first employee arrived.

"Good morning, Katina," he said cheerfully.

"Starting early today, Vitya?" the young woman giggled, pulling the door farther open, "Go on in."

"Thanks."

He headed past the unmanned front desk and through the front lobby to the rink. He found it the way he liked best…empty and with the lights still off. He wasted no time getting his street shoes off and lacing up his skates, then he hurried out onto the fresh, unspoiled ice.

It feels so good when it's smooth like this!

He closed his eyes, not needing them at all to traverse the place he had used for practice for so many years.

Do you like it too, little one? Can you feel how liberating it feels to soar along the surface, following your heart in all kinds of patterns, turning, speeding around and not having to worry about anyone being there. It's the most beautiful place, and it's where I do the very best of my creation.

Yes…I do think of new things all of the time like this…free and moving uninhibited, soaring over the ice in whatever way I feel…no need for light or direction or other people. This is our playground. I love it so much. Just this half hour or so I get here before anyone else…

"Hey Victor!"

Victor cringed and slowed, blinking as the rink lights came on and Yuri Plisetsky committed the horrible act of shattering his morning peace.

"I was looking for you."

"Oh, really, why?" Victor asked.

Why does he have to bug me? He got up extra early to do this?

"I was working on the step sequence for my short program and I realized that there was something I was not liking about it. I thought that it could be better…"

"You have a skating coach for that," Victor sighed, skating to the edge of the ice and stopping to brush the gathered ice bits from his golden blades, "Why do you need me?"

"Eh, you're a better choreographer than mine."

"Then, fire your choreographer and get one that's better than me."

"Shut up," Yuri huffed, skating out and turning, "Here, this is how she said to do it."

Victor gave his fellow skater a look of forced patience as he watched.

"I don't like it," Yuri complained, "I don't think I can increase the difficulty of the entry into the jump at the end of it if I keep it like that. What do I do?"

Seriously, why me?

"Hrm, you could do this?" Victor suggested, moving away and performing several complicated maneuvers, then stopping to look back at the younger skater.

He tilted his head at the aggressive look in Yuri's eyes.

Yes, he does love a challenge. He could be a good competitor if he's developed right. He's in good hands with Yakov.

"You got it?"

"Yeah, I got it," Yuri answered, starting to skate away, only to stop and stare in surprise as Victor's hand wrapped around his wrist, and his teammate smiled almost unnervingly.

"What is that? What are you doing? Let go!" Yuri snapped.

"Give me some money for the vending machine, please."

"WHAT?" Yuri shouted, "That's bullshit!"

"No," Victor corrected him, not even losing his smile, "that is a very cheap price for making sure you are well beyond the range of even of your most talented rivals. I could ask for a lot more than enough for some pelmini and a lime soda."

"Whatever!" Yuri huffed, pulling the money out and shoving into Victor's outstretched hand.

He started to skate away, then stopped and turned back, shaking his head as his fellow skater headed to the vending machine.

"What the hell? You don't even like pelmini!"

Victor secured his snack from the vending machines, then walked back to the edge of the rink and stood at the wall, watching Yuri practice as he ate.

"You know, you're not supposed to eat that in here, asshole!" Yuri shouted at him.

"Mmhmm," Victor acknowledged, "I'm just so hungry!"

"But you don't even like that shit, do you?"

"No, not usually, but today it tastes really good. You want some?"

"No!"

"Oh, but it's so tasty!" Victor laughed, sticking out his stuffed fork as Yuri skated by.

"Stop it! Don't drop that on the ice!"

"I won't. Don't worry!"

"Keep that away from me, okay? It's nasty!"

"You're nasty," Victor giggled.

"You're a pain in the ass. Go Away!"

"You're the one always following me around, aren't you?" Victor teased him.

"I am not!"

"Of course you are. Because you know you would be lost without me."

"You're full of bullshit!"

Victor left off, returning his attention to his snack and continuing to watch as Yuri skated. Just as he was finishing, Yakov entered the rink, alongside Mila and Georgi. He dropped the empty containers in the trash and stepped out onto the ice. One hand reached down to rub his full belly as he made his way across the ice.

Was that good for you? I don't usually like pelmini, but maybe you'll be more like your father. I wonder if Yuuri likes really fancy food or if he prefers more like junk food.

He took up a position for his short program and continued to let his mind wander as he skated.

I'll bet that you're going to be beautiful! I just wonder if you'll have Yuuri's darker hair and eyes. I don't know about eyes, because brown is more dominant, but if he has a blue-eyed parent, maybe you will have blue eyes. You could get my more silvery hair, but maybe you would prefer it if you had Yuuri's dark hair too. I got teased sometimes when I was a kid. Of course, I was also teased because I looked like a girl.

I wonder if you will be a girl or a boy. Maybe it would be better to be a girl. I don't know. I just hope that you're not like me…a boy, but an omega.

Well, boy or girl…silver hair or black…brown eyes or blue…you are my child, a wonderful, beautiful part of me. And…even though it was only one night, you remind me of the beauty of the man who is also a part of you. I only hope that…you, too, will not leave me alone.

Stay with me, little sweet child.

Fill my heart with this almost unbearable wonderful warmth.

Be the part of him that will love me…that will never leave me.

Mila stood alongside Yakov, her eyes soft and adoring as she watched Victor's enchanting performance.

"There's something different about his skating lately," she noted, "It's such a mix of happy and sad, you know?"

"He seems to have finally found some motivation. I was worried for him before. As he ages, it's important for Vitya to be able to find the inspiration to keep on going. Because when that inspiration runs out, that will be the end."

"That will be a sad day for figure skating," Mila sighed.

"Yes," Yakov agreed, lowering his eyes, "Yes, it will."