Chapter 16: Humbled Beginnings

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(Just to let everyone know, I've discovered that although I am getting review notifications, but they do not show up on my account and I can't answer using the link in the notification. It tells me there's no message. So, thanks so very much to everyone who reviewed this chapter. I have notified admin and hopefully, they will fix the issue AND the fact that notifications are not working at all for PMs. *rolls eyes* Why we put up with this...Sorry for the ramble and little mini-rant. Enjoy the chapter!)

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It was already late morning when a little tickle of warm breath along his neck and the brush of soft hairs on his cheek brought Yuuri out of the deep slumber he had finally fallen into after being awake for much of the night. He felt a jolt of disorientation as he opened his eyes and found, first, that he was not in his own room, but was instead, curled up in the makeshift bed on the floor in Victor Nikiforov's guest room. And not only was he lying in the bed with his half naked mentor, Victor was stretched out along his side with his face buried in Yuuri's shoulder and throat, and his slender arms wrapped around him, hugging him close. Yuuri tensed and loosed a strangled yelp, but managed to stop himself short of launching up towards the ceiling.

I don't want to wake him up.

Oh my god, he…smells so good!

He stole a glance and was treated to a dizzyingly adorable vision of the Russian legend looking years younger and much more vulnerable as he slept soundly, hugging Yuuri like he couldn't let go.

A counselor once told me that it is a sign of deep trust when a person falls asleep in another person's arms. After all, while one is sleeping, he is completely at the mercy of the one holding him. Of course, Victor is an impulsive person, so he probably didn't give it much thought, if any at all. Still…

He gazed down at the painfully beautiful man, his brown eyes darkening aggressively.

I don't like to think of someone else looking at him like this…being this close to him…

The feeling of aggressiveness intensified as Victor gave a sleepy, contented sigh and sank more deeply into his arms.

I suppose I can't escape the fact that Victor is the hottest bachelor in the world. He is desired by millions of fans. And every one of them dreams of just this. And, knowing Victor, he loves the attention.

I…don't like that.

He felt Victor shiver and realized that the Russian skater had opened his eyes and witnessed the full harshness of Yuuri's angry gaze. He looked up at Yuuri through widened eyes and Yuuri could feel that his heart was pounding. An image flashed in his mind of Victor's scared face from the nightmare he had suffered, and it undid what little control he had over himself.

"S-sorry! Sorry!" he yelped, releasing Victor so quickly that the Russian flopped like a ragdoll onto the bed, "I ah…I must've…I didn't…n-nothing happened, okay?"

Victor sat up and ran his fingers through the misbehaving hairs of his silvery bangs as Yuuri stood on shaky legs, backing away from the bed.

"Hmm, it's okay, Yuuri," the half-awake Russian reassured his flighty student, "I guess that we were both very tired from being up late and we fell asleep together while we were talking. It's fine. I'm not upset. Are you?"

"What? Huh? Me, upset?" Yuuri babbled nervously, "No. Why would I be upset?"

"Well, you were looking at me like I'd done something wrong or something. You looked angry. Were you mad at me for not waking you when you fell asleep with me? I didn't do it on purpose."

"No!" Yuuri shouted, "I mean…I…ah…you could've at least closed the door or something, couldn't you?"

"But, you were the one who opened the door, Yuuri," Victor said, remaining calm despite his anxious student's panicked response, "when you crept into my room last night."

"I wasn't creeping!" Yuuri objected, blushing as Mari appeared in the doorway, "I heard you make a noise and thought something was wrong."

"Hey, are you guys okay? I heard shouting."

"Oh, we're fine," Victor assured her, "Yuuri was just surprised because he fell asleep in my bed while we were talking last night,"

"Right," Mari responded, rolling her eyes, "whatever. Yuuri, Mom wants some help with some things that were just delivered."

"Oh, yeah, sure," Yuuri said quickly, anxious to escape.

He looked back at Victor, who was still sitting quietly in his bed on the floor and making no attempt to cover himself from either Katsuki sibling's eyes.

"Victor, would you please put some clothes on?" he complained, "Aren't we going to go running this morning?"

Victor smiled and nodded, stretching and yawning.

"I'll be ready when you get back," he promised.

He watched Yuuri and Mari leave the room, then he rested his face on his hand and looked at Maccachin, who sat atop the bedding, thumping his tail on the bed.

"Yuuri sure wakes up grumpy," he noted

Maccachin nosed his cheek comfortingly and Victor patted him gently.

"It's okay," he chuckled, "At least he's not as grouchy as Yakov, or even worse, that little pain in the ass, Yuri Plisetsky."

Far away, in Saint Petersburg, Russia, where he was wearing a scowl and skating in sharp, angry motions, Yuri Plisetsky sneezed.

"Ah-CHOO!"

He sniffed and wiped his nose, almost snarling as he pondered the sudden disappearance of his elder teammate.

"I can't fucking believe he went to Japan to coach that stupid fat pig, Yuuri Katsuki! Did that bastard completely forget the promise he made to me?"

"Oh," Mila giggled, watching him as he skated, "are you missing Victor?"

"Shut up, hag!" Yuri yelled, "You don't know anything."

"I know he went to Japan to chase that cute boy from the Grand Prix Final," the older girl snickered.

"I said SHUT UP already!"

"He is posting tons of pictures on Instagram," Georgi said, smirking, "Want to see?"

"NO, I DON'T WANT TO SEE!" Yuri fumed as he turned and furiously threw his slim body into a quad, triple, triple combination jump, "ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSSSSHOLLLLLE!"

Mila slowed and stopped as she drew abreast of where Georgi stood beside the rink.

"He's taking this awfully hard," Georgi sighed, shaking his head, "I think he's angrier about Victor leaving than I was about my girlfriend leaving me."

"Well," Mila said, still watching Yuri's angry skating, "I don't know if he's more angry because of Victor leaving and forgetting to give him that program, or if he's just worried that Victor is going to steal his crush, Yuuri Katsuki."

"I HEARD THAT, YOU BITCH!" Yuri steamed, throwing himself into another combination jump, "Shut up! I hate that stupid, fat loser and his washed up, old man coach! I don't need either one of them!"

"That's a lot of anger," Georgi mused, giving Mila a wink, "I think you hit the nail right on the head."

Back in his guest room in Japan, Victor looked up as he finished tying a shoelace and Hiroko tapped on the bedroom door frame, smiling in at him.

"Good morning, Vic-chan!" she said cheerfully, "I came to ask what you'd like to have for breakfast, and are you and Yuuri eating before or after your workout this morning?"

"I think after," Victor answered, giving her a warm, friendly smile, "If I fill up on your good cooking before, I won't be able to run even two or three steps."

He stood and crossed the room, pausing to give surprise her with a little hug.

"Is Yuuri almost done helping you?" he asked.

"Oh yes. He said to tell you, he'll meet you out front."

"Right, thank you."

"Any time, Vic-chan," Yuuri's mom giggled.

Victor watched her leave, then he headed out to the front of the inn with Maccachin on his heels. He paused as he reached the courtyard and a few falling snowflakes landed on his hair and face.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay here, Maccachin?" he asked, "It's a bit cold this morning. It's fine for bundled up humans, but I don't know about…well, I guess you are nice and furry."

He dropped into a squat, wrapping his arms around the old poodle. I'm kind of glad you're going along, actually. Yuuri is still very nervous around me, even after spending a lot of the night talking. And did you see how mad he was about falling asleep in my bed with me, Macca? For a moment, I thought he was going to start shouting at me or something, but he suddenly switched back to that nervous boy. He's confusing me. I never know what to expect from him. It makes him interesting, but it's getting in the way of us accomplishing anything. We have to get through that. Maybe if I understood why he keeps changing personalities right in front of me, I can figure out how to get the one I want to talk to, to come out?"

"Hey Victor," Yuuri panted, running out the front door of the inn and slamming the door behind him, "Sorry to keep you waiting."

Ah, nervous boy Yuuri is back.

"It's okay," he assured the Japanese man, smiling charmingly, "I had to get dressed and ready too."

He paused, staring, as he spotted Mari locking up a bicycle in the courtyard.

"Is that a bicycle?" he asked, forgetting that Yuuri was standing beside him, waiting to leave on their run.

"Um, yeah," Mari answered, looking at him curiously, "What? You never saw one before?"

"Oh, I've seen them," Victor explained, "but I haven't ridden one for many years."

"Well," Mari chuckled, unlocking the bike and setting it on the kickstand in front of him, "knock yourself out."

"Really?" Victor asked, brightening, and earning surprised looks from the Katsuki siblings, "I can use this?"

"Um, I thought we were going running," Yuuri reminded him.

"Oh, but this will be better than running together," Victor assured him, "I was worried that my stamina for this would be lower because I had surgery so recently."

"Ah, I forgot about that," Yuuri realized.

"Maccachin used to love running along as I rode on one of these, years ago, didn't you, Macca?"

The old poodle yipped and nuzzled Victor affectionately.

"You really think he can keep up now?" Yuuri asked, glancing at the dog.

"Of course he can," Victor laughed, "He's still in very good shape for his age, aren't you, Maccachin?"

Victor climbed onto the bicycle and rang the little bell on the handlebars as he glanced over his shoulder at Yuuri, who was gaping at him wordlessly.

"I'll start out slow, so you can warm up," Victor called out.

"Better get moving," Mari laughed.

"Thanks a lot," Yuuri said, grimacing as he broke into a run.

He kept up easily at first as Victor peddled along and Maccachin ran just behind. But the Russian skater increased the pace gradually, until Yuuri was panting and unable to say more than a few words in reply to anything he said.

We'll have that extra weight off of him in no time!

He followed the directions Yuuri had given him to get to the Hasetsu ice rink, calling out encouragement to his struggling student and issuing greetings to anyone they passed. Yuuri forced his legs to keep moving, though his chest was heaving and his head spinning by the time that they reached Ice Castle Hasetsu. Victor stopped the bicycle and climbed off, smiling at Yuuri and patting him on the back.

"Good job," he complimented his anguished student.

He locked up the bicycle and headed into the ice rink with Maccachin following and Yuuri dragging himself along.

"Good morning!" Victor called out to Yuko and Takeshi, who stared at him in surprised silence as Victor went on.

"I'm Victor Nikiforov. Nice to meet you. I'll be Yuuri's new coach now."

"What?" the couple shouted together, "You're going to be Yuuri's coach?"

Yuuri barely had time to catch his breath before Victor dragged him inside and the Russian sat down on a bench to put on his skates.

"You rest for a little while and do some stretches," Victor advised Yuuri, "I'm going to do a little practice."

I haven't been on the ice since worlds, Victor mused inwardly as he tied his skates in place and stood, I'm actually not supposed to be on skates for six months, but I feel really good. I will just do some gentle motions, nothing too jarring. I rode the bike all right, after all. The birthing passage has closed and I've stopped bleeding…and the incision from the surgery has healed. I'm sure it will be all right. It's not as though it was a normal c-section. Yume was still very, very small.

He felt a twinge of sadness as he began to sail across the ice with no music playing.

The last time I touched the ice, I was still dreaming of this future that Yume and I had. That future is gone now, and I don't know what is going to happen. I came to Japan to follow an impulsive urge, but I don't know where it will lead. I don't know anything right now, except that the ice…

…it feels like home…

He wasn't sure quite how it happened. He certainly didn't intend to begin, but he suddenly found himself skating the moves he had while dreaming of his daughter growing up. Then, he heard the music that had started to play in the ice rink, and he felt the eyes that were watching him.

I can't tell Yuuri about her yet. I just can't be that honest, when Yuuri won't even acknowledge that we went to bed together. He's not ready. But this program, this series of moves, this song…it says everything, doesn't it?

A million dreams.

That's what we had, wasn't it, Yume? You wanted to come here as much as I wanted you to be here. We reached out to each other, and even though you were only ever inside me, I shared this world, this place, this life with you, if only for a short time. I don't regret a moment…not one moment, I promise you. Every day, I still think about all of the things that I wanted to share with you, all of the things I wanted you to experience with me. I wish that you could have come to Japan with me, that I could have told Yuuri that he was going to be a father. I wish that I'd been able to see him first surprised and scared and then amazed and happy.

He would have been happy.

Well, he would have freaked out a lot, and then he would have been scared and then happy. I would have skated this with him. I would have told him all of the things I was feeling, all of the hopes that I had about your future, and I would have listened to his hopes and dreams for your future too.

A thin shaft of searing pain broke him out of his reverie, and he caught himself landing after a triple jump.

Oh, that probably wasn't a good idea.

He continued to skate, but he risked a glance at Yuuri and the Nishigoris, who were watching with him. They stared raptly, and Victor could see there were tears in Yuuri's brown eyes.

He's just not ready for any of this, is he?

Victor slowed and came to a stop in front of them.

"V-victor?" Yuuri said in a slightly shaking voice, "What was that program? I mean, I know all of the ones you've performed for your competitions, and that one…"

"It is a practice program," Victor lied, "I just…"

"Does it have a name?" Yuuri asked.

Victor froze for a moment, seeing clearly in his mind the beautiful young woman that he was sure their daughter would have become.

"I call it…Yume," he answered.

"Well, you should perform it and you'd have that next world championship in the bag, that's for damned sure," Takeshi said, shaking his head.

"It was beautiful," Yuuri said appreciatively, his hand sneaking up to brush away the moisture at the corners of his eyes, "but…you gave it a Japanese name? Why?"

Victor hesitated for only a moment.

"Because it was a dream I had in Japan."

Yuuri stared back at him in silence for a moment, then he blinked and shook his head in realization.

"Oh right. You've been here a lot for competitions…"

"Yes."

"Hey Victor, shouted Yuko's triplets, breaking the tension of the moment, "Will you do your free skate?"

"Oh, I don't think that…" Yuuri began.

"C'mon, c'mon, please, please, please?" the triplets pleaded.

"Well," Victor chuckled, "I suppose…"

He took his place out at center ice, while Yuuri and the others watched and the triplets took snapshots. He didn't intend to make the quad jumps, but something about the enthusiasm of the three little girls teased him into trying, and despite the jabs of pain, he managed the jumps perfectly.

God, I needed this. Maybe my body isn't ready, just like Yuuri isn't ready, but my heart needed to be here again, on the ice.

Another jab of pain made him wince and he wobbled a little on his next jump. Well aware of the danger of continuing, he broke out of his routine and teased Yuuri, who was looking about as ice-hungry as Victor thought a person could look without giving in and diving onto the ice.

"You're not setting foot on the ice until you drop some weight, little piggy!" he called out cheerfully, making the triplets burst into laughter.

Victor made his way off of the ice, moving more gingerly as he sat to take off his skates. Yuuri sat down next to him.

"Hey, are you all right?" he asked.

"What? I'm fine," Victor lied, "Why do you ask?"

"W-well, you're not moving as smoothly as you usually do. I mean…"

"Are you watching me that closely, Yuu-ri?" Victor snickered, giving him a charming wink that unsettled the Japanese man so he stopped talking, "Come on. Now that you've rested, we have more exercising to do."

Yuuri followed as Victor led him back to the bike and the Russian climbed on and headed off for the nearby park, where they planned to continue their work.

Something's not quite right with Victor. I can tell. I wonder what's going on with him. He's acting pretty strange…although strange and surprising is very much his style.

Still, I just feel like something's wrong.

I wonder what I need to do to get Victor to tell me what it is.