Chapter 19: Family Ties

Victor's brow furrowed thoughtfully and he rubbed his chin for a moment as he considered. He was sure there was no way in hell he was going back to Russia, but at the same time, having seen that flash image of the two Yuris performing the Eros and Agape programs touched him with a feeling of fate, not to mention a healthy dose of the inspiration that he had recently been so sorely lacking.

It is insane how much sense this makes! Yuuri is an alpha in omega clothing, just needing to build confidence like that which oozes from the Eros program. Yuri is a beta with an alpha-like exterior, and a reputation for being a hothead. Yet, just the hint of him wearing pale colors and an innocent expression sets my heart pounding! Yes, there has to be a way to capitalize on this…and to not have to go back to Russia.

Victor straightened and his eyes narrowed.

Yuko said that Yuuri doesn't like to lose. He is competitive, and he was so desirous of having me come to Hasetsu, that (okay, yes, he was drunk and destroyed after crashing so badly in the Grand Prix Final, but even though he had to get drunk to have the courage, he still did it, right?) he danced to lure me, then he danced with me to seduce me. The night we had together, Yume, my coming here…all of that was driven to happen by Yuuri's deep desire for me to be here and to stay here. He will do anything it takes to keep me here.

Then, there is Yuri.

He is perpetually angry, demanding and fierce in going after what he wants. In this case, what he wants is for me to hand him a program that is going to capture his natural ability and allow him to shine in the upcoming competitions. He knows that I have the skill in choreography that he needs, but can't do, himself. It's a bitter admission that he must depend on anyone like that, least of all a rival, but he is determined to surprise the audience and earn a medal in the competition his first time out.

There is a way.

There is something that I can do that…

"Okay, I've got it!" Victor said, grinning, "I'm going to develop two programs, one for each of you, using portions of the same song."

"What?" Yuuri yelped.

"Huh, me the same song as this guy. Are you fucking kidding me?" shouted Yuri.

"Now, now, don't worry," Victor soothed the two, "It's the same song, but two different arrangements. I'd been trying to decide which one of them to use. I will teach you the moves and you will reveal the programs in one week at a private competition that I will arrange. The two of you will compete to see who can surprise the audience more."

"What? A competition?" Yuuri mused anxiously, "Is that really necessary?"

"What's the matter, little piggy? Are you afraid? You should be. I'm going to crush you!" Yuri sneered.

Victor started to step in between the two, but blinked in surprise and stopped as Yuko's triplets jumped into the fray.

"If you wanna have a competition in our town, then you'd better let us in on the action!" Axel demanded.

"Yeah!" Lutz and Loop agreed loudly.

Victor glanced at Yuuri as Yuri jeered at him about how badly he would lose, and the triplets continued to chatter about the way to organize the competition. Although Yuuri still looked mortified at the idea, it did seem that there was a glint of aggression showing in his eyes as he looked back at Yuri.

But, will he find the strength to do it?

Will he win?

He chided himself at having spoken out about the competition before really thinking the whole thing through.

I was so desperate to not go back to Russia, I didn't really think about what I was asking of Yuuri. I know he has the talent, but talent hasn't been where he was lacking all along. It's been in the area of confidence. If Yuko is right, and Yuuri benefits from competitiveness, then everything will be okay, but if he chokes…

He felt a little shudder pass through him, but he shrugged it off and turned his attention to his two waiting students.

"I want the two of you to warm up and run through your normal practice for today. Just do what you usually do in your general training. I need some time to put the plans down."

"Ugh," Yuri groaned, "What you mean is that you fucking want to go and pig out, then drink yourself into oblivion while this clown and I waste our time here! I want my goddamned program, Victor!"

"Now, now, I need time to make the plans for the programs."

"You say that now?" Yuri argued, "You've known for more than a year that I was going to win the Junior World Championships. Not that you could remember while you've been drowning in booze until you forgot a million times!"

"Don't be silly," Victor laughed, "I didn't forget."

"YES, YOU DID, OR I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO CHASE YOU ALL OF THE WAY TO FUCKING JAPAN!"

"Why don't you run along now?" Victor suggested, giving his teammate a placating smile, "We'll never get anywhere if you keep standing there, yelling at me."

Victor laughed again as he and a bemused Yuuri watched the Russian Junior Champion stomp away.

"I think I'm going to have my hands full while he is here," Victor snickered, "He's quite a little hothead. I told Yakov he was asking for trouble, taking him on, but Yakov just snorted and said I was being hypocritical and…"

"Victor?"

The Russian paused, tilting his head slightly as he looked back at the Japanese skater curiously.

"What is it, Yuuri? Is there something wrong?" he asked.

"Ah," Yuuri said nervously, "I…um…"

"Don't worry about Yuri Plisetsky," Victor said, turning his head back to look at the angry young man as he threw his street shoes off and began to put on his skates, "He's loud, but he's mostly pretty harmless."

"It…wasn't about Yuri," Yuuri answered, bringing Victor's surprised eyes back to meet his.

"It's not? Then, what is bothering you, Yuuri? What can I do?"

Yuuri licked his lips and swallowed anxiously.

"Uh, sorry. I just noticed when you were talking to Yuri that he mentioned you were drinking a lot."

"Yes, Yuuri. I do that. It's a Russian thing, kind of like people from Ireland like their Guinness, I'm a Russian man who likes vodka. There's nothing unusual about that, is there?"

"M-maybe not," Yuuri replied, relaxing slightly as he gathered himself to continue, "It just looked to me like there was something in your eyes when he said that…something like…"

He paused, as though searching for the right words.

"Something like what?" Victor asked, his heart quickening.

Usually, Yuuri is so fixated on his own anxiety that he seems unaware of things like that, but…could Yuri coming here have shifted things?

Yuuri didn't answer right away, but Victor waited patiently as he collected his thoughts.

"I could be wrong," he said finally, "but it looked to me like you were feeling some kind of pain."

Victor felt heart melting warmth at the admission.

"You are worried about me?"

We are finally getting somewhere. Maybe Yuri coming to Japan wasn't a bad thing…as long as Yuuri wins the competition.

"Yeah," Yuuri affirmed quietly, heat making his face and throat darken, "I don't like thinking of you hurting."

"Yuu-ri!" Victor exclaimed, melting even more, "That's so kind of you! What do you say for thank you? Arigato!"

"Oh, ah…w-well, you're here for me," Yuuri reasoned, "The least I can do is to offer you the same thing."

"That is so sweet," Victor praised him, "Thank you again, Yuuri, but as I said, I am…"

"I know you're not fine," Yuuri replied, stopping him by looking directly into his widening eyes, "Something happened to you this season."

Victor tried to answer, but found his thoughts suddenly scrambled and his body frozen, staring raptly back at his student.

"Your performances were beautiful," Yuuri went on.

"Maybe not all of them," Victor chuckled, finding his breath again, "but it was a good season. What makes you think that…?"

"You didn't seem like yourself at Nationals or the European championships," Yuuri went on.

"I made some mistakes," Victor acknowledged, "and Yakov yelled at me a lot, even though I still won. But we barely knew each other, Yuuri."

"I don't wanna sound creepy. It's not, but I have been watching you, Victor. I've been watching you and learning from you for most of my life."

"I know you have," Victor agreed, "That's part of why I came here to coach you. Your dedication to your training has made you a very capable skater, and once you have been given the tools, I think you will surprise everyone."

"I'll do my best. I promise," Yuuri assured him, "but I want to give something back, too, and I don't have a lot to offer."

"I'm not asking for anything but that you do your best to do exactly as I tell you to do. It's really not necessary for you to…"

"You told me that it was important for me to open up, to be able to talk to you," Yuuri reminded him.

"I did, but…"

"Part of that is being sensitive to your needs too," the younger man interrupted, "and it seems like something is still bothering you. Maybe it's none of my business what you're thinking about, but if…if you ever need to talk about it…"

Victor felt a sudden tugging in his chest as he looked deeper into his alpha's eyes, and read the genuine affection, the honest emotion.

"I don't mind listening, and I'll do what I can, if there's anything I can do."

I should tell him.

I need to tell him.

He's given me the perfect opportunity.

Victor took a steadying breath and caught Yuuri's hand in his.

"Yuuri," he said softly. "I do want to tell you that you are…"

"HEY PIGGY! AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE OUT HERE TOO?" Yuri shouted, startling the two, "Get your fat ass over here and practice. You need to do that even though I'm just going to smear you all over the place in the competition."

I want to slap the shit out of that little brat!

"Yuuri…"

"He's right. I promised you that I would do my best," Yuuri sighed, turning away.

"But…"

Why does this always happen?

I really, really wanted to tell him. Everything was the way it needed to be. I had the perfect chance…and then that little asshole had to ruin everything. Is this what parents feel like when their kids misbehave?

He inadvertently flashed back to the dream he had had while skating, about what his and Yuuri's Yume would have been like.

Maybe she would have been sweet and fun like I imagined, but she probably would have disobeyed us sometimes too. I disobeyed Yakov all of the time, once he took over as my coach and he became like a father to me. He always warned me that what goes around, comes around. I didn't listen to him any better than I do now.

Maybe our Yume would have been mouthy and stubborn…more like Yuri.

The thought left him with an odd warmth as he stood watching the two Yuris skate on opposite ends of the rink.

He's loud and he's rude, but there is an undeniable charm to him that makes those things more cute than threatening. I look at the little things about Yuri Plisetsky and indeed, I can imagine a daughter of mine being hardheaded, temperamental and rebellious like him, but just as he has that hard, bitter surface, there is something sweeter underneath it, and that is what his Agape program will bring out.

Victor leaned on the rink wall, his eyes carefully following each of the two Yuris' movements as they skated.

When choreographing for myself, it's easy to imagine which moves will highlight what things. I do sometimes rewatch my past performances to imagine how to incorporate a move or set of moves, but having done that so many times, it's like second nature. Choreographing for the two Yuri's will require me to work a little harder.

That's a good thing, I think, because part of my problem is that lately, I haven't felt that sense of challenge which keeps me more motivated. I already miss competing, myself, but I feel very strongly that I have work to do before I can return. Looking at these two very promising skaters only intensifies that feeling. I know that the answer isn't in anything I could have done on the ice, myself, this season.

No.

The answer is in what I feel when I watch these two men skate…one, my alpha and the other? I begin to see in Yuri Plisetsky the things that I was sure were lost when we lost Yume.

Yes.

I had dreams of what would be…created in my mind like the programs I created for my performances all of these years. I know it was never mine to create my child's path, and no doubt, Yume would have surprised me in her own special ways, not once, but over and over. When she died, there were all of these empty places that I had created just for her…experiences we would have, emotions we would share. Not everything was perfect, but it was all so real in my mind.

Then, it was just gone.

I went back to those places I had created, but because I never shared her with anyone, I was alone there, mourning her in isolation born of my own selfishness in hiding her. I don't just have a heavy heart because I lost her, I have a heavier heart because I kept her to myself, denying all of the people around me to dream too. It does mean that they aren't hurting like I am, but that's no solace to me, because we all should have loved her like family, and we all should have been allowed to mourn her. What will it be like when the truth comes out, when Yuuri and his family learn that I hid my pregnancy from our child's father and never let him dream of her.

Yuuri would have loved our child. I doubted that because I was confused as to why Yuuri left without talking to me. I thought it meant he was angry with me and couldn't see me the same way once the lie was exposed and he knew me for the omega I am. Coming to Hasetsu and being here with Yuuri and his family tells me that I was wrong. I still don't know why Yuuri left without talking to me. I need to ask him about that and we need to talk about a lot of things, but we must first clear this hurdle.

Just as Yuuri needed to earn the right to talk to me and dance with me at the banquet, now he needs to win my continued presence at his side, here in Hasetsu.

What the hell did I do, allowing us to end up in this situation?

What was I thinking?

What if Yuuri loses?

No.

That is not going to happen. I have to do what I could not do before. Now that I know I was wrong about why he left without speaking to me, I have to trust Yuuri to do what he needs to do to keep me by his side. If I put my faith in him, maybe he will have more faith in himself.

Victor turned away from the two skaters and left the ice rink. He walked, aimlessly at first, then he made his way to the beach, relaxing into the sounds of the surf and the seagulls' cries. And as he walked, he thought about the two skaters, each in turn; first Yuuri, dressed in dark colors and without his glasses…his hair pushed back away from his face and his eyes narrowed and glaring lustily…then Yuri in pale colors, all of the anger gone from his face and his wispy body moving like that of an angel.

The thoughts made him smile and he reached down absently to pet Maccachin, only to find that the old poodle hadn't followed him to the beach.

I don't know what's worse…that he chose to stay with the two Yuris over me or that I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice.

He stopped walking and sat down on a large piece of driftwood, his ocean-colored eyes gazing out at the sea. His busy mind worked steadily at planning the two programs, and he stood up several times to perform small sequences from each. He wasn't sure how long he was on the beach before hunger made him look around for a place to eat. He studied the several restaurants and selected one, then ate until he was full…then he started drinking.

Yuuri is going to win. I know he will…

…I think…

He replayed the two programs in his head, considering the best performances each young man could give and how the points would add up.

Although, this competition is not about technical or performance points, it is about surprising the audience. I know this is generating a lot of interest here and there will be a lot of people coming to see the competition and reveal of the two Yuris' programs. Still…I do wonder how Yuuri's anxiety and Yuri's impetuous nature might play into things.

He sighed heavily, his head spinning as he looked down at his empty glass. He glanced in the direction of the waitress, but read the look in her eyes and sighed again, taking out his credit card to pay the bill. He left the restaurant and stumbled back to Yuutopia Katsuki.

"Hey, you okay?" Mari called out as he staggered past her and down the hallway.

"F-fine," he answered unsteadily.

He startled at first when the young woman's arm curled around him from the side and she helped him down the hallway to his room.

"You know, Yuuri and your Russian friend got back awhile ago. They were wondering where you went. Mom was a little worried when you missed dinner."

"I had dinner…r-r-really nice people places," he mumbled dazedly.

"You don't say," Mari replied dryly, guiding him into his room and helping him into the bed.

"Oh, I can't sleep with all of this clothes on," he complained, starting to wriggle out of them.

"Well, at least let me get outta the room before you start undressing," Yuuri's sister snorted, hustling out the door.

"Sorry," he called after her.

He pushed his clothing off and burrowed down under the covers, glad that the booze was making him sleepy enough to drop off. He was almost asleep, when he heard a soft thumping and caught an odd scent in the air. Sitting up in his bed, he forced his eyes open and groaned as he noted the late hour.

What is that?

He remembered then.

Oh, that's right. He insisted on sleeping in my closet while he's here so that Yuuri won't gain an unfair advantage by monopolizing me.

Hearing another thump and a whimper, Victor climbed out of bed and wrapped a yukata around his slender body. He walked to the closet, catching more breaths of that odd scent and feeling an unsettling sensation.

This scent…

He put a hand on the door and slid it open, then he stepped inside.

The little lamp that Mari had given Yuri sat by his makeshift bed on the floor. Yuri laid, curled up in a ball and shaking softly.

Does he even know I'm here?

"W-well," Yuri managed shakily, "what are you waiting for? Y-you're an alpha, aren't you? I'm n-not gonna stop you, so go ahead."

Victor stood, frozen, his eyes rounding and his mind firing back to a similar scene played out, but with Yakov witnessing for the first time, one of Victor's heats.

Yuri Plisetsky…is an omega too?