Chapter 20: Crossroads

Yuri Plisetsky scowled at his white-faced Russian teammate's stymied reaction, his body quivering as throbs of intense arousal surged through him and he felt the tell-tale wetness around his anal entrance. He closed his eyes, panting out a few more impatient words as he waited for Victor Nikiforov's reaction.

"Why are you just standing there?" he complained, "I f-fucking told you to go ahead. I know you're aroused by my scent and I've got no way to get away from you. Just stop standing there and fuck me already! Get this over with, all right?"

Victor swallowed hard, his throat oddly dry and his voice failing as he tried to answer. He took a step forward and stopped again as Yuri help up a staying hand.

"J-just don't knot with me," he growled angrily, "I don't wanna get pregnant with your stupid kid and I don't want anyone to walk in and see us stuck together or something!"

Victor took a moment longer to gather himself and the younger skater hissed out a curse and snapped at him again.

"Damn it, Victor! What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you just staring at me with that stupid expression? Are you deaf? I said…!"

"I heard you," Victor answered finally, taking another step forward.

His heart pounded painfully in his chest as Yuri sat up and opened the front of the pale blue yukata he'd been given, exposing his slim, athletic body to the waist. He looked for a moment longer, then turned back.

"Wait for a moment," he advised Yuri, "I will be right back."

Yuri's teeth clenched and he swore again, pulling the ends of his yukata around him and blushing fiercely.

"F-fucking wait? Th-that's all you have to s-say, you bastard?" he growled more softly, blinking back suddenly threatening tears, "…so goddamned humiliating!"

But he was secretly glad for the little bit of time Victor gave him to compose himself. He breathed slowly, blinking a few times and relaxing his body in stages. By the time Victor reappeared, he was relatively calm, though it took an effort not to stiffen as the elder skater closed the door to the closet, then blocked the bottom with a towel. He turned to face Yuri, wearing a quiet, contemplative expression.

"Has this happened before?" Victor asked calmly, "or is this the first?"

"I had one before the doctor knew what I was."

Victor balked at his next question, closing his eyes and shivering as he voiced it.

"Were you…?"

"Yakov was there," Yuri answered shortly, "Nothing happened."

"Hmm," Victor replied, looking into his teammate's aggressive eyes as he answered, "that's good."

"Why?" Yuri demanded his voice shaking slightly, "Because you are one of the ones who likes collecting firsts? Don't forget, I know your reputation, Victor."

"You know my reputation with girls," Victor corrected him, "I was never with a man before…"

He stopped himself short of the confession he'd been about to make.

"I was never with a man before," he repeated.

"Is that supposed to make it special or something?" Yuri asked, sounding more hurt than angry this time, "It's not. You're just the bastard alpha who happened to catch me on a bad day. You mean nothing to me, you know."

"I know," Victor acknowledged, moving forward to stand over the younger man.

Yuri glared up at him defiantly.

"It's just a fuck so that we don't go crazy from the pheromones," he snarled softly.

"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself," Victor mused, his own expression softening.

"What kind of game are you playing?" Yuri accused him, "I told you to just do it. What? You like being cruel and taunting me, you asshole!"

"It isn't cruelty."

"Don't fucking pity me either!" Yuri snapped.

"I don't," Victor assured him, holding out a small purple pill and a glass of water.

Yuri blinked and squinted suspiciously at the pill in the older man's hand, then he gave Victor a stymied look.

"Why do you have that?" he demanded, "Where the fuck did you get it?"

Victor paused as he recalled.

"Take this with you," the Japanese physician said, handing him a blister pack with one purple pill inside, "It can take up to six months for your heat to return, and there is no way to know exactly when it will come, so we give this pill. Use it cautiously because it will put a strain on your body by pushing you more quickly through your heat, but it will also mask your scent so that you will be less attractive to nearby alphas, and it should curb your own symptoms. If you should lose this, you will need to call for a replacement pill, because the first heat after a pregnancy can be unpredictable in both its timing and its intensity. It can cause very significant pain and can cause emotional strain as well. The pill with ease that and help you cope more comfortably."

"What does it matter?" Victor asked casually, watching as Yuri swallowed the pill and some of the water, "This will put some strain on your body, but it will make your heat pass more quickly and it will make you less likely to attract an alpha."

"But I've already attracted an…"

Yuri paused, staring in surprise as Victor climbed onto his bed and sat behind him, then slipped warm, embracing arms around him. His skin flushed darker as he felt the tickle of soft, silvery hairs against his cheek and a touch of breath on his earlobe.

"Relax. I'm not an alpha and I'm not going to have sex with you," he said in a low, soothing voice.

"What are you doing then?" Yuri asked more curiously as he felt a small vibration that seemed to begin in the older man's chest, then grew into a soft rumble.

His blue eyes widened as he realized.

"Are you…p-purring, Victor?"

Yuri wasn't sure if it was the sound or the vibration, or the impact of both that laid a gentle haze over his agitated mind and swiftly left his body limp and pliable in Victor's arms.

"It helps, da?" Victor inquired, somehow continuing the low purring even as he spoke.

"Yeah," the younger skater admitted without the usual aggressiveness, "I've done it, but I don't know how to make myself do it."

"It's just something I was taught to do after coming to full maturity."

"I am…!"

"I mean full maturity as an omega," Victor elaborated, "In fact, in families where there's more than one omega, the older will first comfort the younger with this, then teach it to the younger at the proper time."

"But you didn't have a normal family," Yuri pointed out, "and I know Lilia is an alpha, so…who taught you?"

Victor shrugged, "Just someone Yakov found to do it. When I was identified as omega, he promised to hide it and to make sure that I knew how to deal with it."

"Hmm," the younger man sighed thoughtfully, closing his eyes and starting to doze as Victor continued to comfort him, "He didn't tell me you were an omega, but from the look on your face, you didn't know I was one either."

He paused, then gave a little, sarcastic chuckle.

"I wanted to kick his ass when he told me that he was going to have you mentor me. I thought he meant that you were gonna bite me or some shit like that."

"What?" Victor huffed, "You know Yakov better than that. He wouldn't do that to you…although I know alpha coaches who pretty much enslave omega skaters that way. We were lucky that he found us before people like that did."

"Yeah."

Yuri let out a slow, much more relaxed breath.

"Victor, did you know that Yakov wanted to start having you do more choreography this season for the others on the team?"

"Hmm, he mentioned it in passing, but we never decided anything."

"You really pissed him off when you left. He won't even listen if anyone says anything about you."

"I know," Victor sighed regretfully.

"And you think that fat little Japanese piggy is worth it to you, over the man who is like your own father all of these years?" Yuri pressed.

"What, are you working for him, trying to make me feel worse?"

Yuri broke free of his embrace and turned to face him, forgetting the front of his yukata that was open and leaving him scandalously exposed.

"Why is he so important to you? Why are you wasting your time on him?" he asked, his voice bearing a stern edge, but without the expected anger, "It's not like you have time to waste, you know. You're…"

"You don't have to tell me that," Victor said, cutting him off, "But the only answer I can give you or Yakov is that I'm doing what I have to be doing right now. You and I both know that what I was doing before, back in Russia, wasn't working. Something needed to change, and when I saw Yuuri skate my program, I saw a path and I took it."

"So, none of your promises mean anything to you now, because of him?" Yuri snapped, the anger quickly returning as the soothing effect of the purring faded.

"I didn't promise Yakov I would…"

"I was talking about the promise you made to me, idiot!"

"What?" Victor objected, "I'm giving you that program. I said I would and I am keeping my word."

"Not without making me do stupid things like running away all of the way to Japan…and this competition," Yuri argued, "Making me compete with that garbage…"

Victor loosed an agitated sigh.

"You know, if you keep letting your anger make you so recklessly underestimate your opponents, then the only sure thing is that you are going to get beaten by more than a few of the more mature skaters this year who will see that and take advantage of it."

"Now, you sound like that old man coach of ours," Yuri complained, "going on about my recklessness."

"Look," Victor said sternly, "I have no obligation to you beyond delivering that program I promised you, but you need to remember that it's more than talent and it's more than confidence that you need to win in the senior division. You are going from…"

"A small pond to a big pond," Yuri scoffed, "I've heard it from Yakov."

"No."

"What?" Yuri asked, giving him a more tentative look.

"You are not going from a small pond to a larger pond, you are going from a small pond to an ocean. You were skating against young people like yourself who may also have been talented, but they were not as experienced as the ones you will be competing with now. It's like animal crackers and oranges."

"What?" Yuri objected, "Don't you mean apples and oranges?"

"No, even those are too much alike. It's more like kittens and pit bulls."

"It's not so bad," Yuri snorted, "I can skate circles around every one of the skaters coming out this season and you know it. That's the real reason you didn't want to skate, isn't it? You knew I would kick your ass the first time out, so you ran off to Japan because you were scared!"

Victor's eyes narrowed and he crossed his arms.

"Well then, if you are so very talented, you should have no trouble beating the stuffing out of Yuuri Katsuki, who came in last at the last Grand Prix Final."

"Finally, you say something sensible."

"I am saying that you're not going to do it…not unless something changes."

"What the fuck do you know?"

"What do I know?" Victor asked sharply, his blue-green eyes flashing, "After five consecutive world championships, I think I know more than a smartass kid, who is an omega challenging a number of alphas in their preferred territory! You are not just at a disadvantage because you are young. You are also hiding a critical part of yourself and if you are reckless, you will have more to worry about than losing. How good you are is not going to matter if you give them rope to hang you with! Those other skaters, especially the cutthroat ones? They will be more than happy to use your vulnerabilities against you!"

Yuri picked up a small pillow and hurled it at Victor, who caught it out of the air and gently smacked the younger man with it as Yuri batted at it, hissing furiously.

"Ugh! Get out of here and leave me alone! Take your hugging and your purring and your goddamned stupid lectures and go bug someone else who doesn't feel sick because you fucking smell like the booze you've been drowning yourself in!"

"All right," Victor snickered, "If you're feeling well enough to insult me so much like that, then I guess you'll be okay now. Just try to be a little calmer, since that pill I gave you might make you faint if you get too overexcited."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Yuri spat as a still giggling Victor scooted out of the closet.

He closed the door and leaned against it for a moment, his eyes growing more contemplative as he recalled a similar exchange he'd had with Yakov.

Why does this have to happen?

I used to buy into the lies that we were fed, that the omegas were simply creatures with no real talent, but a necessary calling…to balance the overpowering needs of the complimentary alphas. Then, I learned that more often, omegas are talented, but they are looked down on, and it's really hard to escape the definition that they loudly hammer into us. I was so focused on myself and my own misery that I failed to see someone close to me is struggling as I am. It's clear now that Yakov planned for me to mentor and protect Yuri Plisetsky. It was a plan that would give Yuri and me both a measure of comfort, and it was also a way to eventually give me a path out of competitive skating and into coaching. Yuri is very talented, and he needs someone like me. It was a good plan that would benefit all of us.

And by coming to Japan, I didn't just interfere with those plans, I hurt Yakov.

Victor walked slowly to the bed, each step feeling heavier as he took it. He climbed onto the bed and sat down with his back against the pillow, then pulled his knees up to his chest and laid his head on crossed arms on top of his knees.

I really hurt Yakov.

No wonder he hates me and won't even talk to me.

But, what can I do? If I go back to Russia now, I feel it in my heart that I will retire from competitive skating. I will have to, because I was losing my motivation. Everyone on the Russian team saw that. Yakov saw it, and he was trying to give me a way to use my reputation as a top skater to become a sought after coach and choreographer. It's the natural step to take next, and I would be lucky to have a talent like Yuri Plisetsky among my first student. Yes, it is a very good plan for me that Yakov had.

The only problem is, I don't want it to be over now. I don't want to leave competitive skating while I still have the ability to be a top competitor. I have poured myself, body, mind and heart into skating for twenty years. It's been all I thought about for as long as I can remember. It's been all I wanted to do. I'm not stupid. I know it can't last forever. I feel the beginnings of age in my joints, but I also know that I'm not done yet. I don't know how I know that, I just do. And I wasn't meaning to be cruel and ungrateful to Yakov. I wasn't even fighting his notion that coaching and choreography is a good path for me, eventually.

I just saw Yuuri skate my free program, and all of a sudden, my heart felt lighter and younger again. I felt, not just inspired, but driven to come here and to make sure that Yuuri didn't quit skating…because, like me, he still has what it takes to be a top competitor. In addition to that, Yuuri is my complimentary alpha. Sooner or later, we were going to have to deal with that and learn what it means for us.

I know I did what I had to do, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. Yakov has been more to me than anyone else in this world, and I made him hurt.

I feel lower than a dog.

Tears flooded his eyes, streaming out and seeping into the sleeves of his yukata and little, soundless sobs shook his body. He was so absorbed in his misery that he missed the moment when a person paused in passing outside his open bedroom door, then they entered the room and moved to sit down on the edge of the bed.

Victor's breath caught raggedly as he felt the bed move, and his eyes flew open as Hiroko's arms slipped gently around his shoulders. He stiffened for a moment, terrified at the thought of having to explain, but just as though she'd read his thoughts, Yuuri's mother sighed, hugging him, petting his hair and putting his worries immediately to rest.

"It's okay, Vic-chan," she said soothingly, "Whatever it is, we'll see it through together, all right?"

He bit his at his lips, swallowing hard and trying to reclaim a shred of dignity, but the attempt unraveled as Hiroko ruffled his hair and patted his damp face tenderly.

"Maybe we'll do a better job of that, once you are sober, ne?

"Right," he answered shakily, giving her a little, sad smile, "Sorry, I just…realized that when I left Russia so suddenly, I didn't just make Yakov angry, I hurt him because he's been like a father to me all of these years. He was trying to be supportive and I just left without…I left and now he hates me. He won't even talk to me."

"It sounds like he is angry and hurt, from what you and Yuri have said, but if you are as close as you say, then I am very sure that you will work it out," Hiroko said, taking Victor's hands in hers, "Vic-chan, a parent will always love their child, no matter what…no matter how angry anyone gets, no matter what troubles come along. I think you know that in your heart."

"I do," Victor agreed, tears flooding his eyes again, "and I don't feel like I deserve it after hurting him like that by leaving."

"But, you still feel that coming here to us was what you needed to do?" Hiroko asked.

"Yes, but that doesn't change how I made Yakov feel by doing it."

"No, and that is a burden on you. Just…do not lose sight of the reason why you are here."

Victor straightened, wiping his eyes and nodded.

"You're right. I suppose that does no good."

"It will be all right," Hiroko promised, "You and Coach Yakov will mend what is broken between you. I think you love each other too much not to fix things."

"Yeah," Victor sighed, brightening slightly, "Thank you, Mama Katsuki."

"Of course, Vic-chan."

Hiroko hugged him again, then she sat back and withdrew a small package from her pocket.

"This arrived for you today from Russia."

He took the package and read the return address.

Oh.

The ashes not sent to be used for the pendants.

He held the box in his lap and looked up at Hiroko again.

I don't want to hurt her…or any of them…ever.

"Thank you, Mama Katsuki," he said more calmly.

"Sleep well, Vic-chan," Hiroko said, turning and walking out of the room.

He looked down quietly at the box.

"What is that?" Yuri's voice asked, breaking him out of his reverie, "You look like it's something bad. Are you afraid Yakov shit in the box and sent it to you to punish you or something?"

"Maybe," Victor sighed, "What are you doing out here? You should stay in the closet where you belong. The pheromones are weaker, but…"

"I'm just getting a drink of water. You want some?"

"No, thank you."

Victor continued to look down at the box, lost in his thoughts, as Yuri stumbled off to get his water, then came back again and dropped a chilled bottle of water in his lap.

"I said I didn't…"

"You've been drinking a lot and you've been crying," his teammate said matter-of-factly, "You're probably dehydrated."

He turned away before Victor could answer, walked to the closet door, then paused again.

"Mama Katsuki is right," he said quietly, "Yakov's pissed, but he isn't going to be mad forever, so stop being an idiot and figure out whatever you need to, so that we can go back to Russia. I don't want to beat the piggy and have to put up with you crying all of the way home."

Victor found he was smiling in spite of himself.

"Don't worry, you won't," he chuckled.

He waited until Yuri had entered the closet and closed the door behind him to add, "…because you're not going to win."