Chapter 23: Out of the Frying Pan

Yuuri tossed and turned in his sleep, his mind working furiously as he tried to resolve his understanding of the Eros program. He walked mentally through each step, each turn and glide, each scintillating spin and flashy jump, searching for the one thing that would tie it all together. He felt that the truth was there, staring him in the face, but that he couldn't seem to see it.

Or…maybe the truth is that I don't really want to see it. After all, the heart of the Eros program, the thing it most obviously brings to life…is the alpha.

Yeah, I saw it right away and then I didn't want to see it.

The other side of that is the Agape program. Where the Eros program embraces the alpha, the Agape program embraces the omega. The two together form a sort of balance. It's a beautiful thought, I suppose, but there is nothing beautiful about creatures of unconditional love being swallowed up by alpha monsters.

If I can't embrace the Eros role, I think it's because I'm not able to accept that the omega needs the alpha. I don't see how that could be true. Omegas are beautiful, talented, often visionary. They are able to empathize deeply and put themselves in another's shoes to understand them. They take what is in their environment and make it better for everyone. Yet their beauty is to the alpha, just something to collect and possess. That talent is captured and appropriated, used as a status symbol. Their vision is beaten down until it is clouded. Alphas don't just use omegas for sex and power, they suck the omegas dry and leave them just shells of their former selves. And…

…damn it, that's why I'm just not able to master this. I can move my body the way Victor shows me, but I don't want to dance for the omegas. I don't want to attract them and capture them, use them and suck them dry! If anything, I want to show everyone their beauty and their ability to take what is in front of them and elevate it!

He sat up in bed and heard Maccachin make a little whimper of protest.

"Sorry boy," he sighed, patting the old poodle tenderly, "I know you're trying to sleep. I should be sleeping, but I just can't. I don't know, I just feel…restless."

He thought of Victor, probably curled up in the bed in the guest room, down the hallway, and before he quite realized what he was doing, he climbed out of bed and left his room. Maccachin followed on his heels as Yuuri headed down the hallway and paused in front of the Russian skater's room.

The door stood open and the lights were off, but he could see that Victor wasn't in the bed.

I wonder where he is. He does sometimes stay out really late, drinking and dancing, but he knows that tomorrow is a big day, getting ready for the Hot Springs on Ice competition. Does he really think it's okay for him to be wasting time and losing sleep like that? Of course, Victor is so good at what he does, and he doesn't get caught up in his emotions like I do. Maybe for him, staying out late and messing around is okay. I wish I could be that carefree.

"What are you doing, lurking around Victor's bedroom, katsudon?" Yurio's voice said from behind him, startling him and making him almost trip over Maccachin, "He's not here."

"Y-yeah, I can see that," Yuuri said, scrambling to collect his scattered thoughts, "I just…came to ask him a question and found he wasn't here. I was…"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," the younger Russian huffed, pushing past him, "Could you not block the door while you stalk him? I need to sleep."

"I was thinking maybe I'd go out and…"

"Go out and what?" Yurio asked, pausing and turning to look back at him, "Treat him like the delinquent he is and drag him home like Yakov sometimes has to do when he misbehaves? Why? Victor doesn't need you to do that. He can take care of himself."

"Yeah," Yuuri answered, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, "I just feel like, I don't know…"

His hand moved to rest over his heart and breathed in slowly.

"Something just…feels wrong. You know, I wonder if he could be in some kind of trouble."

"Huh…what kind of trouble?" Yurio scoffed, "The people here love him to death. They spoil him and fall all over themselves doing whatever he wants them to. He's probably drunk and naked in a room with a bunch of girls, giving them the night of their lives."

He didn't miss the way Yuuri flinched and the way his hands clenched slowly and unclenched.

"You jealous, katsudon?" Yurio taunted him, "You've copied his skating. Do you want to aspire to become a lusty drunk out drinking and fucking girls all night?"

"No."

Yurio hid a smirk as he turned towards his makeshift room in Victor's closet.

"Go to bed. You're going to need every ounce of your strength to not look pathetic when you lose to me."

Yuuri watched in silence as Yurio walked into the closet and slid the door shut with a bang, then he moved forward to Victor's unused bed, one hand still over his pounding heart.

I feel it even more now, something radiating in the air here. It feels…almost intoxicating. I keep getting this feeling that I need to go to him.

He realized all at once that he was also very aroused.

Strange…

He grimaced at the next thought that entered his mind.

Ugh, there must be an omega in heat somewhere around here, and my body just…does this. I hate it! I hate this feeling, this primal urge called rut. It even sounds nasty and violent. The thought that nature has taught the alphas to seek out and dominate omegas in heat…it's so ugly and horrible!

I don't want to be that way.

He felt a shiver go through him as he looked down at Victor's bed.

Victor usually makes programs that he says are from things that inspire him…but…how could he be inspired by something like this? He doesn't look like a monster. In fact, Victor is the most cheerful and kind alpha I've ever met, even if he is a very demanding mentor on the ice. I just can't imagine him finding beauty in Eros. All I see is the awful way they treat omegas. But, Victor would not be like that, right?

Yurio's words echoed in his mind, unsettling him even more.

"You jealous, katsudon?" Yurio taunted him, "You've copied his skating. Do you want to aspire to become a lusty drunk out drinking and fucking girls all night?"

His eyes blinked slowly and his hand reached out and touched the top of Victor's bed.

I suppose he can have all of the women and men he wants in his bed, but…why do I feel inside that's not at all what's happening?

Why do I feel so strongly that the one who should be with Victor right now…is me?

XXXXXXXXXX

Victor groaned as he woke to a disturbingly more intense flare of heat than he had ever experienced. His flesh seemed to burn all over and his heart pounded wildly in his chest. Even the gentle touch of a cool, wet cloth on his forehead felt like merciless ice, making him shiver violently.

"Oh…I f-feel awful," he panted, not yet opening his eyes.

He felt a warm hand in his colder one and swallowed hard.

"Y-yuuri?"

"It's me with you, dear," Hiroko's gentle voice intoned softly, as though she knew exactly how strained his nerves were at the moment, "You went into heat, then you were attacked outside the inn. You also have a mild concussion."

"Ugh…"

It felt more than a little humiliating to be reduced to a quivering, sweating mess in front of even Yuuri's very sweet and sympathetic mother, and his discomfort only increased as Hiroko continued.

"Vic-chan, I called Doctor Enatsu, here, and she has come to help you."

His eyes moved sluggishly to find the hazy form of an old woman next to Hiroko, whose kind brown eyes instantly drew away a measure of the anxiety he was feeling.

"Victor, I am Doctor Enatsu. I specialize in treating omega patients."

"I w-wish I could tell you it's n-nice to m-meet you," Victor responded through suddenly chattering teeth, "S-sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for," the doctor assured him.

"At least I sh-should apologize for…for losing the pill I was supposed to have to m-make this easier on my b-body."

"It's all right," Doctor Enatsu said bracingly, leaning over him, "I am going to need your permission to open your robe to examine you."

"Of course."

Victor was indeed, not one to blush about being seen naked, but he gritted his teeth, watching Hiroko's reaction closely as his torso was uncovered, and the two women noticed right away the healing scar on his lower abdomen.

"When did you have this surgery?" the doctor asked, studying the scar carefully.

Now, he could feel the redness of his face and throat.

This is just what I didn't want. It's obvious I had either a miscarriage or an abortion! God, what will Yuuri's mother think of me?

"It was…in March, just after the world championships. Th-the doctor in Tokyo said that the miscarriage wasn't because of me competing. I…I mean, I'm sure I must have done something wrong…everything was progressing fine and then…"

He felt again that instant sense of comfort as Enatsu's kind eyes met his and Hiroko's sad smile warmed him.

"There's not always an identifiable reason why these things happen," the doctor interjected, "I'm sure that if your physician said that it wasn't preventable, there is nothing you could have done. Were you referred for counseling in Russia after?"

"Y-yes, and I did consult a few times before I left to come to Japan, but I didn't and d-don't really think I need it. I'm sad about losing my daughter, b-but I'm handling it."

"I am sure you are," the doctor agreed, "but it is more than just emotions that are affecting you right now. I am sure that your attending physician in Tokyo would have told you this."

"She did," Victor admitted, looking away as he answered, "and Yakov yelled it at me a few hundred times. Yakov, he's my skating coach."

"Yes, I'm familiar with your skating. I thought your programs this year were enchanting."

"Thank you."

Victor shivered again and drew in a steadying breath.

"Doctor, is there anything you can do to make the burning stop? I f-feel like my body is on fire."

"That is your hormones wreaking havoc, I'm afraid, and it's too late, at this point, for me to just give you the pill to balance them. Your heart rate is concerning and you are showing signs of possible shock. You need something stronger, but I warn you that the medication I am going to give you, while it will help you through your heat, comes with risks of its own. It takes time to work and the way it works is to trick your body into believing that you are being bred by an alpha. If you have been bitten, then the alpha who bit you is the one you will see. Is…that going to be problematic for you?"

Victor gave her a perplexed look.

"Ah…do you mean I'll be hallucinating? About…like, the time when we made the baby?"

He broke off for a moment, glancing at Hiroko.

"Would you like me to leave you alone with the doctor, Vic-chan?" Yuuri's mother asked calmly.

"M-maybe I should just t-try to do this on my own," Victor fretted.

"I'm sure that you heard Doctor Enatsu tell you that she is concerned about your heart rate and about the possibility of shock setting in," Hiroko reminded him, "We're not leaving you alone like you are. It's too dangerous. You need help. Please listen to the doctor."

Victor marveled at how the words were delivered in such a quiet, non-imposing way, but still carried a weight that he couldn't ignore. He winced as pain flashed in his insides and the heat on his skin increased painfully.

"Damn it! I didn't want this to be how things went," he complained, "I know it's my own fault. I lost that stupid pill and then couldn't get another in time and…"

He stopped abruptly as Hiroko's hands curved around his sweaty face and her determined eyes locked on his stricken ones.

"Don't worry about any of that now," she said firmly.

"But I really don't want to do this! I don't want you to have to see…"

"Vic-chan," she said reassuringly, "You've told me that you didn't grow up with your family. You did have people looking out for you, but you didn't have a mother to do all of the things that a mother does. Still, when you came to Hasetsu, you became one of our family. Now, I have changed diapers, cleaned up messes, taken care of cuts and bruises, and I have seen my children through more than a few difficult things."

"I doubt you've seen them go through a heat cycle while delirious and…oh god, I don't want to think about this! Do we have to do this now?"

"I'm afraid the longer we wait, the more dangerous your situation becomes," the doctor answered, shaking her head.

"It will be fine," Hiroko assured him, "Vic-chan, don't worry about anything. I'm right here."

"But…I lied to you and to Yuuri!" Victor exclaimed, "I lied to everyone about what I am. How can you even want to help me when I would do that!"

He was taken aback as Hiroko ended all of his objections with a single pointed question.

"Vic-chan, I am asking you to trust me. Will you trust me to help you through this?"

I suppose there is no getting out of this. I am simply going to have to do this, aren't I?

He couldn't seem to make his voice sound to answer aloud, but his head bowed to hide the rising tears in his eyes and he managed a little nod. He cringed as the doctor prepared a syringe, but Hiroko blocked him from seeing as Enatsu took his arm and swabbed a small area with alcohol.

"It will just be a little pinch."

"Oh…I don't like n-nee…"

Victor stiffened as he felt the sharp jab, then he shivered and went limp. Hiroko gave a little amused chuckle and patted his face tenderly.

"There now, Vic-chan. This is probably better for you, ne? You were too anxious before."

She turned her attention to the doctor, who rechecked the unconscious skater's vital signs.

"He will be okay now, won't he?" she asked.

"Yes, Victor will be fine. The drug will leave him unable to really move, so he will not thrash about or be at risk of hurting himself. He may vocalize during the hallucinations and he will most likely ejaculate a number of times because of what he is reliving, but now that his body will be tricked into thinking he is with his alpha, his discomfort should be less…at least, assuming that he is accepting of the alpha."

"Oh, I think he is," Hiroko concluded, "He looked more upset because of his embarrassment, don't you think?"

"That was my impression too," the doctor agreed, "I need to get back to the clinic, but…you are sure you would rather watch over him than send him to the hospital?"

"Ah, I think as long as he is not in danger, Vic-chan would prefer to do this as privately as possible. I will take care of him and Mari will be here to help if I need it."

"Very well. Call me if you or Victor need anything."

"Thank you, Doctor."

She watched as the physician left, then turned back to Victor, who was shivering and panting lightly.

"There now," she soothed him, taking his hand in hers, "you're going to be fine, Vic-chan. I can see this has all been very difficult for you, but remember that you don't have to do this alone. All of us are here for you now. We will take care of you and everything will be fine."

She wasn't sure if it might be that he either heard or sensed her good intent, but Victor gave a little sleepy sigh and seemed to fall into a deeper sleep, blissfully unaware as the hallucination began.

He found himself standing alone in his home ice rink, the lights out and no music playing. He drew in a slow breath, and released it again, closing his eyes and letting all of the tension drain out of his body. Once he was fully relaxed, he could hear it…that music that played inside his head, coaxing his body into moving, telling him what moves to make as it seemed to surround him and caress him all over. The ice dance that resulted was unscripted, lovely and heartfelt. Yes, this was how he had always created the magic of his programs.

But he noticed right away that something felt different. Where he had started out feeling light and free, his body began to feel heavier, and where the rink had still been lit by the moon, a heavy mist rose around him that clung to his skin and obscured his vision until the very boundaries of the rink disappeared. And although he knew the rink by heart, he lost his bearings and came to a stop, puffing out steamy breaths and shivering as he reached out with his hand in the suddenly terrifying environs. His fear increased exponentially as he realized that he couldn't speak. He was beginning to outright panic, but then he heard another pair of skates sliding along the surface of the ice, and the mist all around him billowed and flickered strangely.

"Yuuri?" he managed in a breathless whisper.

He was still unsettled, but he calmed noticeably as a hand that he knew was Yuuri's reached out and took his. Yuuri's arm wrapped around him and the two of them began to move together. He poured his emotions into the motions he made.

I'm so glad you came.

I felt so alone.

I needed you so much, Yuuri.

His breath caught and happy tears filled his eyes at his alpha mate's answer.

"I needed you so much too. It's just not right if we're not together."

Victor shifted and brought them to a stop, reaching out in the darkness and only able to see Yuuri as a silhouette in front of him.

"It hurts, Yuuri," he said, finding his voice again, "You're the only one who can make it stop."

"I know."

Victor let his eyes slide closed and he felt Yuuri hold him more tightly. They soared across the ice to music that was only in their minds and slowly the mist pulled their clothing away and they were somehow transported back to the Sochi hotel where they touched down in Yuuri's room, where they had spent the night. Neither could speak as heat and rut were blazing painfully in their bodies. But unlike that first time, Victor smiled as Yuuri ducked into his shoulder, breathing in his scent, then he brought the Russian down onto the bed.

He could have cried at how he could this time feel the full intensity of their connection. Gone was any uncertainty, and Victor groaned contentedly as Yuuri's mouth first ravaged his soft throat, then trailed all down his torso, making his back arch reflexively as he called out his alpha's name again. Deep in his heaving chest, a low, hungry purring sound began. Yuuri laid his head against Victor's naked chest, breathing in his scent and giving a little growl as the intense purring slowly seduced him. He shifted and Victor blushed at how quickly he spread his thighs for the man on top of him. But both of them were aching all over with desire for their coupling and they barely managed any sort of preparation before roughly joining for their first mating.

The sight of his handsome, smiling alpha, lit by the moonlight as he began a flurry of deep, fast thrusts made the lusty purring in Victor's chest intensify, in turn feeding Yuuri's already burgeoning desire.

"Yuu-ri!" Victor sobbed joyfully, raising his hips wantonly to meet his lover's.

"Victor!" Yuuri groaned, pushing in deeply and gripping the Russian's sweet, white ass tightly as he emptied himself into Victor's molten core.

Overwhelmed by the dizzying flashes of heat and the erotic sounds his climaxing partner made, Victor surrendered with a shuddering groan of relief.

"Is it helping?" Yuuri asked, letting his sated member slide out of Victor's plundered bottom, only to begin stimulating it again for the next entry.

"More, Yuuri!" Victor pleaded, "I'll go crazy, I need you so much!"

He flipped onto his belly, raising his naked bottom in the air and wiggling it enticingly.

"More, Yuuri! I want more!"

Yuuri crawled onto his back, his hand still working to restore enough hardness to offer his lusty omega mate the relief he so desperately craved. And although Victor might have had some issue with his stamina on the ice, he defied the boundaries of his strength as he met Yuuri for another viciously sensuous joining…then another…and another.

"Wow!" Victor laughed, "Yuuri's stamina is amazing!"

The two collided three more times before finally they collapsed onto the bed, panting hard and drenched in sweat and sticky splashes of semen. Victor kept his slender legs wrapped tightly around Yuuri's warm body and the two kissed more slowly as the Russian's hands curved around his lover's face.

"I…love you, Yuuri."

Victor sighed as a blissful darkness seemed to wrap around him, body and mind and he drifted off to sleep.

In the private room at Yuutopia Katsuki, Hiroko bit at her lips, holding back anything more than a little smile as Victor's delirious confession sounded. She watched quietly until he had fallen deeply asleep, then she carefully cleaned away the sweat and semen before tucking him in comfortably again and pausing to run gentle fingers through his messy hair.

"Vic-chan," she whispered, "the worst is over. Rest now."

XXXXXXXXXX

Yuuri sat up suddenly in bed, his heart pounding wildly and Victor's voice ringing in his ears. He couldn't remember a thing about the dream that had brought him awake, but the cooling dampness in his underwear left little doubt as to its nature. He rubbed his hands over his face and worked to slow his breathing.

It's strange…Victor's scent is so strong.

I wonder.

He climbed out of bed again and headed down the hall to Victor's guest room. As before, the door stood open and the bed was empty.

"Where are you, Victor?" he whispered.

But the room and the hallway outside remained dark and quiet, and eventually he had no choice but to return to his room, change his clothes and lie down again.

"I hope you're okay," he breathed softly.

As he drifted off, he could have sworn he felt Victor's hand on his face and he heard the Russian's deep, heartfelt purr.

I love you, Yuuri.