Her cheeks heat up immediately, only he can make her blush. He sees the bashfulness that comes over her face, and he loves it. As she sits down, still blushing, he bends down to her, and says, "I love you." She pecks his lips, as she replies, "I love you too."
Dinner is delicious, and they agree to just enjoy their food, and talk about her day. But not about their current drama. Tony loves hearing about her photo shoot, and the commercial concept. She shares some of the behind the scenes conversations with him, she had with the director, as well as gives him the details around she and Robyn's conversation.
Tony isn't surprised. He knows how Robyn feels about them, and he understands her feelings. He'd probably have mixed views too, if he was on the outside looking in at him and Kerry's situation. But he's not on the outside looking in; he knows what they have, and so does she. Everything isn't always what it seems, at least not right now. But one day, it will be exactly what it seems. Until then he's willing to do whatever necessary to make a life with her.
After dinner, they sit down on the couch, sharing a glass of wine, and listening to the rest of his play list. Adore plays, as Kerry sits with Josie in her lap, and she sits cattycorner, facing Tony. As he settles in, next to them. He looks at her, and places his hand on her thigh, as he says, "So are you ready to talk?" She sighs as she replies, "Not really. But I know we have to." He nods as he says, "Yeah, we do." She pauses for a moment, then she says, "Can you promise we can get back to us, afterwards?" He flashes an adoring smile as he says, "Absolutely." She takes a breath as she says, "Okay. Let's do it." They share sweet, and endearing smiles, and he turns off the music.
The mood shifts as he says, "So, as I told you. I heard from Harvey, and according to him. Your suspicions were right. Bellamy is the leak." He sees her facial expression change, as she shakes her head, and says, "That bitch! I knew she was behind this!" Tony responds, "I know Ker, and obviously you were right, and I was wrong. I didn't think she'd do something like this. Especially with the potential affect it could have on the show, as well as the fact that we are apparently being represented by the same publicist group." Kerry feels her anger rising, she's speechless for the moment. She doesn't want to lose her cool. But she's close. She's very close.
Tony sees the anger in her eyes, and knows that her silence is her trying to process what she's heard, and keep her calm. So he remains silent for a moment, so that she can think, before she speaks. Josie picks up on her mood shift too, so she raises up on her hind legs, and begins trying to snuggle with her. Kerry comes out of her trance, of picturing herself, ripping Bellamy's head off of her shoulders, and sees Josie's happy face, staring back at her.
Her sweet face, and loving nature, calms her. She then feels Tony's hand on her leg, rubbing her back and forth, in a smooth and subtle manner. She looks up at him, and he sees a difference in her eyes. She's still upset. But she's calmer. He says, "Ker, can you talk to me? Tell me what you're thinking."
She sees the pleading in his eyes; he's regretful for what's happening. She knows it, and she appreciates his concern for her. So she says, "I honestly don't want to verbalize what I'm thinking Tony, because it's not positive at all." He understands her being apprehensive about talking, but he still pushes her, as he asks, "Are you mad at me?" She replies, "No. I'm not mad at you." He was hoping she'd be a little more forthcoming, but he sees she's still being rather tight lipped about how she's feeling, and he wants her to get it out. He needs to hear her exact feelings. Before he tells her the solution he's found.
So he pushes further, as he says, "Kerry, I don't want to push you. But I have to know what you're thinking. We need to have an honest conversation. Please talk to me." She knows he's right. She can't keep this bottled up, she has to talk about it, and it needs to be with him. So she says, "I'm not mad at you Tony. But I am mad that I let you talk me into trusting her. Because if we'd kept our relationship quieter, she wouldn't have been able to leak anything." She instantly feels bad, about her response. She didn't want to lay the blame on him. In her heart, she knows it's not his fault. But she had to be honest with him, about how she was feeling. She didn't want to lie to him. The guilt she's feeling suddenly overwhelms her, and she says, "I'm sorry Tony. I know that's not fair. Please don't be mad at me."
There's a moment of silence, he hears her, and her words settle with him. He knew this was where this were going. He's relieved that she's being honest with him. She continues to look at him, and sees that despite her words, his mood and his gaze at her is unchanged. The silence breaks, as he says, "I'm not mad at you. I honestly understand how you feel." An air of relief comes over the room, as she replies, "You do?" He responds, "Yes. I do. Because that's the first thing I thought about when Harvey told me it was Bellamy. I knew that it was because of me, that she was aware of us in the first place. I encouraged you to relax around her, and that was clearly a mistake. I just hope that you can forgive me for putting us in this situation. I am really sorry."
She sees the sincerity in his eyes, and she feels bad for him. He really didn't mean for this to happen. He just wanted them to have some sense of normal, and it backfired. Not because of him. But because of Bellamy's jealousy, as well as the complication of them not being able to be together in public.
She again feels a sense of guilt come over her, because she knows he'd go public in a heartbeat. But it's her holding them back. If they just came out. This would be null in void. Tony feels the shift in Kerry's demeanor, and sees her brain working. He knows she's in thought, yet again.
Kerry slips out of her thoughts, as Josie changes position, in her lap. She tries to reframe what she's thinking to match what she wants to say. She doesn't want this to come back to their situation. But it always seems like that's where the conversation inevitably leads. She's contemplating whether to be completely honest or not, and before she can make a decision. Her mouth opens and she says, "Thank you baby for being so understanding. I really appreciate it. As angry as I am about this. Bellamy's jealousy is at the root of this. Not you. You meant well, and I know it. It's more my fault, than anything."
Her admission surprises both of them. Instantly, in her head, she's thinking, where did that last part come from? Tony clearly taken a back, by her response, says, "Kerry, I'm glad you see that my intention was genuine. But this isn't your fault either. Don't do this to yourself." She looks away, as tears fill her eyes, and she says, "Yes, it is. If I wasn't so scared about the fallout. We could end the speculation, and just be free to love each other openly." He sees her tears falling, and says, "Come here."
