Chapter 26: The Tastiest Katsudon and the Fiercest Agape

As the early morning arrived in Hasetsu on the day of the Hot Springs on Ice competition, Victor tossed and turned restlessly, as he had done for most of the night. On any other night, he definitely would have just given up and gone out drinking to make himself numb, but with his reputation and his future hanging in the balance, and part of that equation depending on a young man known for having anxiety attacks and failing...

If there was one thing that Victor was certain of, it was that, with the exception of being born an omega, he had never been one to allow his fate to hang on the shoulders of another person. Life as an orphan and as a hidden omega had forced him to become strong. Yuuri, on the other hand?

Victor shuddered and turned in his sleep, his focus shifting as a hazy image distracted him away from his worries.

"Easy there, little one," a gentle male voice intoned softly as warm fingertips caressed his cheek, "I know, I know. It's sometimes hard to sleep, da? I have that problem too. Don't worry, little one. You're not alone. You're never alone. Whenever you're scared and you feel alone? Just remember me…"

Victor sat up suddenly, his heart pounding and his head throbbing as the man's voice echoed in his head.

"Remember me."

He frowned and his brow furrowed.

"What was that?" he whispered.

The closet door slid open and Yurio glared out at him, looking half asleep.

"What was what?" he asked grumpily.

Victor sighed and shook his head dismissively.

"It was nothing."

He tilted his head and eyed his younger teammate appraisingly.

"You can't sleep either?" he asked, "Are you that concerned Yuuri's going to beat you?"

"What?" Yurio huffed, "Hell no. I just don't look forward to you whining and crying all of the way back to Russia about your stupid piggy losing, that's all."

Victor's eyes narrowed.

"Is that right?" he mused, "So, you think it's going to be that easy?"

Yurio shrugged.

"You saw him at the Grand Prix Finals," he said matter-of-factly, "The idiot can't take the pressure. He's going to choke and he'll lose, then we'll go back home and you'll tell the old man you're my coach now. Better get used to the idea, Victor. That's what's going to happen."

"Hmm," Victor said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, "I don't know about that. Yuuri has failed in the past, but remember that he had just lost his favorite pet…"

"His favorite pet he hadn't seen in five years because he wasn't even living at home?" Yurio pointed out, "And it's not like he wasn't wanting badly to win. He was falling all over himself, trying to impress you, though I don't know why he bothers. You are a fucking shame."

"A fucking shame that, for some reason, you really want as a coach?" Victor teased, smirking, "You know, you're not making much sense here, and you're really underestimating Yuuri and me. You'd be wise to…"

"Shut up, old man, and stop nagging me!" Yuuri complained, "I'm not fucking listening to you!"

"If you don't listen to me, then how do you expect me to coach you? Why do you want me to coach you if I'm old and washed up like you're always saying, and if you think you know more than me?"

Yurio's scowl deepened.

"You are old and washed up as a skater," he insisted, "but you are also the best choreographer, and I need good choreography to win!"

"You need more than good choreography to win," Victor sighed, arching an eyebrow, "Do you have plenty of raw talent and plenty of confidence? I'll give you that, but even adding good choreography to the mix isn't going to get you there."

"Oh, don't give me that 'You've got a long way to go' speech!" Yurio growled.

"Well, you do have a long way to go, before you reach Yuuri's level and certainly before you reach mine."

"I'M ALREADY BEYOND YOUR LEVEL, YOU ASSHOLE!"

"Is that so?" Victor said skeptically, "I guess we will see about that, won't we?"

"Yeah," Yurio huffed, turning back into the closet, "I guess we will."

He walked inside and slammed the door shut behind him. Victor frowned and looked down at his hands that were clenching at the bedding. He took a steadying breath and forced them to let go, then he slid out of the bed and stood.

It's still a little early, but I'll get something to eat. I have to think of some way to let Yuuri know how much I believe in him. I need to stoke his desire to win without activating his anxiety. God, can this get any more difficult?

He reached over and picked up his cell phone and he found Yakov's number and gazed down at it quietly.

Yakov, I really need to talk to you.

He bit at his lips, grimacing at the thought of being yelled at, but couldn't help but long for any kind of connection with the man who'd been like his father since he was a child. A shuddering breath escaped him and he touched the button to dial. As the line connected and the ringing sounded in his ear, Victor realized he was trembling.

Pick up, Yakov.

The phone rang once, twice and a third time before going to voicemail. Unsure what message to leave, Victor touched the button to disconnect. He stared down at the phone, his heart in turmoil and his stomach fluttering like it was full of butterflies.

More like, full of angry rats…

He started to put the phone away, then blinked in surprise as a message notification sounded. He checked the message and almost dropped the phone in his haste to read.

Idiot! It's the middle of the night. Japan is six hours ahead!

Victor put a hand over his mouth to hide the laugh that tried to escape him.

If I call you in a while, will you answer? Please, Yakov? I really need to talk to you, he texted back, tears burning in the corners of his eyes.

No.

Victor's smile faded as he read his coach's answer.

"But what did I expect?" he whispered, "He's so angry."

And not just angry. Yakov is hurt. I really hurt him by leaving and he's not going to forgive me easily. He's not going to help me. I have to do this by myself.

"Vic-chan?" Hiroko called softly from the doorway, "Are you all right, dear?"

Or…maybe not by myself…just not with him beside me.

Victor blinked the tears away and forced a little smile.

"I'm fine," he lied.

Hiroko gave him a look that told him she knew exactly how much bullshit his answer was, then she smiled.

"Why don't you come and have some breakfast? You'll think better on a full stomach."

"You are probably right," he said, smiling more cheerfully, "I just need to get dressed and I'll be there in a minute."

The sting of Yakov's refusal to even talk to him still hurt, but it eased notably as he headed into the dining room and sat down at one of the low tables. Yurio appeared next, and then a sleepy-eyed Yuuri. They joined him at the table as Hiroko arrived with several plates of food.

"Good morning," she greeted them cheerfully as she served their meals, "I hope you all slept well!"

"It doesn't look to me like any of you slept very well," Mari said dryly as she joined them, "I hope you do better at eating or you're gonna pass out during the competition."

"You're full of crap. I'm fine," Yurio scoffed, digging into his meal as Yuuri ate more politely and Victor took only small bites of his food, "Victor, I hope you've got your ticket for the plane ride home, because we're leaving as soon as this ridiculous competition is over."

Yuuri stole a glance at Yurio, then looked away before he could be noticed by the younger Russian. He turned his attention instead to Victor, who seemed even quieter than he'd been the night before and was picking idly at his breakfast, except whenever Hiroko entered the room.

It seems like Mom and Victor have gotten closer quickly, but I know that Victor didn't grow up in a normal family, so it kinda makes sense that he'd really like an attachment like that. And Mom is so friendly. I can tell she really likes Victor a lot. She spoils him so much.

I'm glad.

I always thought it was sad that Victor didn't have the kind of family that I do. At least I feel like there's something worthwhile I can give to Victor while he's here.

Yuuri felt a little shiver inside.

I wonder if it will be hard for him to let go of that when the season's over.

Or…if I don't win today and he has to go back to…no. I'm not gonna think like that. I'm going to beat Yurio and Victor is going to stay.

The three young men finished their meal, then left the hot spring inn and headed for Ice Castla Hasetsu. Yuuri couldn't help but be grateful that Yurio had abandoned taunting him and was walking a little ahead of Victor and him and ignoring them completely. Victor seemed quiet and thoughtful as he walked alongside his Japanese student. Once or twice, Yuuri felt an urge to break the tense silence between them, but with his own heart pounding and his head spinning with worries, he couldn't think of anything but the competition. Once they reached the ice rink, there wasn't time for talking as Victor left to help Yuko and the girls finish the preparations while the two competitors warmed up on opposite ends of the rink.

Yuuri stretched and warmed up carefully, using a set of breathing exercises to calm himself inside. He felt Yurio's eyes turn in his direction several times, but avoided looking back.

I have to stay focused. I know what I have to do. Victor is counting on me to win this competition. Victor has seen my skating and he believes in me. Now, I've got to trust him and believe in myself.

Why is that so much easier said than done?

"Yuuri, Yurio, come now, it's almost time," Victor called out to them from the edge of the rink.

The two competitors followed their mentor back into the preparation area, where they continued their gentle stretches and warmups, while the spectators entered the rink.

"There are so many people out there!" Yuko commented, "I don't think I've ever seen a crowd like this at the rink before."

Yuuri swallowed hard and felt a shiver go through his body. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Victor, standing leaned against the wall and so deep in his thoughts that he didn't seem to have noticed Yuko's comment at all.

He's nervous too?

But then, he was reckless to make that promise to Yurio that he'd go back to Russia if I lose today.

Baka!

He shouldn't have done that. Like it's not enough pressure to compete in front of an audience again after bombing out at my last two competitions? Now I have to worry about losing him as a coach if I'm anything less than perfect today? What was he thinking?

Yuuri wanted to be angry at his idol's seeming heedlessness, but seeing his normally buoyant and talkative coach looking so quiet and introverted brought twinges of worry that derailed the emotion.

I don't like Victor looking unhappy.

I need to reassure him.

Damn it! How can I comfort him when it's so hard to have faith, myself?

He didn't have long to worry, however, before Yuko came to the prep room to announce the start of the competition. Yuuri was highly aware that Yurio's fingers were trembling slightly as he unzipped his jacket to remove it. He watched the younger skater head out to perform, then he glanced back at Victor, who still seemed lost in thought, and he followed Yurio.

Victor waited until Yuuri had left the prep room, then he drew in a long breath and released it shakily.

This is it.

Everything hangs on this competition.

Why was I so stupid? I just got excited and accepted Yurio's challenge. I didn't give real thought before to what it means if Yuuri loses out there. I will have to leave him and return to train Yurio in Russia. My alpha and I will be separated. Yuuri is going to quit if he fails here. I know he will.

But…if he can win, then he will gain so much confidence. He needs that confidence. Maybe I didn't go about setting him up to gain it very well, but this could be the pressure he needs to prove himself.

If it's not, my life is over. Yuuri will quit and I don't know how I will go back to skating. I don't know what I will do if I quit skating. I mean, coaching Yurio, obviously, but…what about the rest of our lives? Yuuri bit me. I belong to him and my body will never respond to anyone else. I will never be able to keep my promise to Mama Katsuki to tell Yuuri about our daughter, so that we can mourn her properly together.

Yuuri…

He stepped out to the viewing area and his anxious eyes found Yuuri watching raptly as Yurio skated. His heart sank at the little tremble he spotted in Yuuri's arms and shoulders and the fearful look in his eyes. The feeling of dread grew as Yurio skated what looked to be a technically perfect program.

Luckily, Yurio's presentation is still well below Yuuri's. Yuuri has a good chance of winning, but…what can I do? How can I motivate him? I want to reassure him that I believe in him, but I don't want to add pressure. I need to be calm, myself, but I don't feel calm at all.

Still, in all of the years he had been in competition, the Russian legend had learned to appear calm through nearly anything, so he took another deep breath and let it go, willing the anxiety to leave him with the long exhale. He approached Yuuri, who was standing with his hands over his mouth, aware that it was time for him to perform and obviously scared out of his wits. Victor's quiet, calm eyes locked on his student's and he kept his voice just as untroubled, despite feeling just as frightened as Yuuri was.

"Yuuri, are you ready? It's your turn."

Yuuri's terrified eyes sank into his and Victor felt a twinge of relief as determination rose out of the depths and overwrote the panic he had seen before. Yuuri was still shaking, but his jaw clenched and he met his mentor's eyes fiercely now.

"I'm ready," he said, sounding as much like he was trying to convince himself as the man in front of him, "I'm going to become the tastiest pork cutlet bowl ever! You'll watch, won't you?"

I love him.

I know right here, right now that I love Yuuri Katsuki and I can't live without him. I need him to win and to come back with me to Russia.

But I can't say any of that.

Not right now.

"Of course I will," he reassured Yuuri, continuing to look calmly into the younger man's eyes, "I love pork cutlet bowls."

For a moment, Victor wondered if he had actually screamed the truth of his feelings out loud in front of everyone. Yuuri's breath caught, as though he'd heard clearly the thought beneath the words and he straightened and approached the ice with a firmer step. He skated out to the center of the rink and took up his position with Victor leaned against the rink wall, watching him intently.

As the music started, Victor was sure he saw Yuuri morph into the most delicious looking pork cutlet bowl he'd ever seen…and certainly the sexiest man. A low whistle of appreciation escaped him and he felt an electric jolt in his loins. He caught a little drifting sweet scent on the air that ignited his tensed body even more.

What…is this?

He was suddenly hungry…aching between his thighs and almost desperate to drag Yuuri off the ice and have sex with him immediately.

This…is not like Omega heat. It's not like anything I know.

The feeling intensified and Victor felt his heart pounding so hard that he was sure it would burst out of his chest right there. His mouth opened and he could feel that he was salivating as Yuuri's lovely body moved through the complicated step sequence.

The elder skater barely noticed his student's hand touching the ice on the completion of one of the jumps. He couldn't break out of the melting haze that had settled over him. Instead, he was held firmly in place, his body raging with desire as Yuuri nailed the last two jumps and went into a final combination spin. He was only released from the spell as Yuuri finished and the crowd erupted into enthusiastic applause. The Russian legend didn't have to wonder anymore what his fate was going to be. It was written in Yuuri's look of wonder and Yurio's disgruntled look as he scowled and turned away in disgust.

Victor composed himself as Yuuri skated to him and the two embraced.

Then…he caught that whiff of sweetness and a shock went through him.

That isn't the scent of an alpha…and what I felt was not heat…it was…was it rut?

What just happened to us?

There was certainly no addressing it in front of everyone, so he was careful to give no sign of what he was thinking until they had returned to the dressing room and were alone. He read the look that Yuuri was giving him and tilted his head slightly, waiting for the younger man to speak. When he remained tongue-tied, Victor smiled and took the lead.

"You did well," he complimented Yuuri, "I'm proud of you."

"Th-thanks," Yuuri said shakily.

Victor studied him quietly for a moment.

"You know, while you were performing, your moves were different than what I'd seen in practice…and…are you wearing a sweet scent?"

"Ah…um, no, I'm not wearing any scent," Yuuri answered, blinking in surprise, "I mean, I did have Minako teach me to move more like…like a woman, trying to seduce a man, but…"

"You did?" Victor mused, smiling, "That worked very well."

"Eh, I could see you were aroused. Usually alphas don't excite each other like that. Usually, it takes an omega's heat to bring on rut like that."

Victor gave his student a mystified look.

"V-victor?" Yuuri queried, "Are you okay?"

"Fine," Victor answered, "But, you do know that I'm…"

"YUURI!" Yuko shouted in from the doorway, "You were amazing! Congratulations!"

Victor went quiet as Yuko and the girls ran into the room and surrounded Yuuri, giving him congratulatory hugs from all sides.

What is going on?

Yuuri is the alpha and I am the omega…although, we both presented abnormally. And in that short time while Yuuri was performing…

…did that, for a moment, change?

He breathed in and out again slowly and he strained to catch that bit of sweetness in Yuuri's scent, but he found no sign of it. Nor did he feel the powerful hunger he had felt before.

Did I imagine it, or did the balance between us suddenly shift?