AN: Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!
Sirius lay on the couch, eying Severus with amusement. The black clad spirit was several centimeters off the ground, but his glow was white like a Christmas light. He stared at the ground and bit his bottom lip. A few times his face lit up, only for it to fade a few seconds later.
"Are you going to tell me what happened, or do I need to spend the night guessing?" Sirius asked.
"Why would I tell you anything?" Severus growled.
"Because you like me." Sirius batted his eyes and smirked.
Severus furrowed his eyebrows, but without a red glow the other spirit was less than intimidated.
"You clearly didn't get into a fight with Hermione or else you'd be yelling at me." Sirius stretched. "It's clear you didn't say something stupid either, so it's something else."
Severus' frown deepened.
"You have the look of someone who knows he is way out of his league, which isn't shocking given that you love Hermione and for some unfathomable reason she feels the same way towards you."
"Do you plan to spend the entire night prattling off armchair psychology, or will you be quiet long enough to allow me to think?"
"You really should be more receptive to this conversation." He raised his arms. "Sometimes bouncing ideas off another person can help clear one's mind, help the important things come into focus."
"In order to converse with one about his problems, the other person needs to be helpful in resolving issues, not a nuisance who will only complicate matters."
"Oh you're the one who complicates things. I've solved most, if not all, of your issues. I mean," Sirius' grin took up half his face. "You wouldn't have gotten past your first argument with Hermione without me."
Severus scowled.
"What did she ask you to do?"
Severus rolled his eyes.
"I'm not going to stop asking you what's wrong until you answer me. So, what did Hermione ask you to do?"
The former professor muttered something.
"What?" Sirius cupped his ear.
"I said she wants me to spend the night with her."
Sirius jolted upright. His eyes were huge as saucers.
"I was as stunned as you seem to be."
"Yeah, I never thought any woman would ever ask you to spend the night with her."
"Indeed," he drawled.
"You told her, 'yes,' correct?"
"I said I would need permission form Dismas, lest I be recalled while she's asleep."
"Great plan."
"So I can come up with great ideas."
"Even you can't be completely inept at all times."
"I'll have you know…" Severus turned red.
Sirius grinned. He was having too much fun with this banter.
"This may not be a problem anyway. He may not say yes…" Severus noted.
"But if he does you need a plan."
Severus raised an eyebrow.
"Don't tell me you have no plan to romance her."
"I thought we would talk until she grew tired and went to bed."
"Talk?" Sirius exclaimed.
"Yes," Severus turned pink. "She enjoys conversing with me, though why I do not know. Most people did not find me a good conversationalist."
There was a pregnant pause.
Sirius shrugged. "I'm not going to argue with you. If you weren't the only one here I'd be talking to the third person in the room right now."
"Thankfully Hermione does not feel similarly to you."
"You're right, we'd be screwed if she did."
"So I figured we would talk, research, and perhaps read."
"No, no…" Sirius shook his head and held out his hand. "You do not just stay overnight with a woman and talk, and you definitely don't spend the night researching and reading."
"I thought we would touch too."
"The romance is just oozing out of you right now."
"How is touching problematic?" Severus was now on the ground.
"It isn't deep enough." Sirius snapped his fingers. "We need to go deeper, raise the stakes if you will."
"I'll have you know that we have a deep experience when we touch."
"I know, but staying the night means more than a brush on the lips and reading a good story."
"What would it entail?"
"Something that due to our, uh spiritual anatomy we cannot do."
Severus' glow was a soft blue.
"Don't worry, I'll think of something," Sirius rubbed his chin.
"I need to get this venture approved first anyway."
"Get what venture approved?"
Severus and Sirius turned to the saint. Neither of them were startled. They'd learned that when he felt he was needed, Dismas would find a way to appear.
"Hermione asked me if I could stay the night," Severus began.
"Oh she did." There was a twinkle in Dismas' eye.
"Indeed, she wants to wake up with me beside her," Severus replied.
"Is there any particular reason for that?" Dismas' glow lessened. "She is not in danger and in need of your protection, is she?"
"Thankfully that is not the case," Severus replied. "Cormac has not contacted her in months, and she has not gained anymore abhorrent admirers."
"That's so good to hear." The spark in Dismas' eyes returned. "But that only leaves the question of why she wants to wake up with you."
"She told me it has been years since she's awakened to a friendly face…"
"Oh yeah you're so friendly," Sirius covered his mouth and snickered.
Severus shot him a look before continuing, "She thought it would be pleasant to know she is being watched over."
"So you wanted to ask if the Trinity and I approved?"
"I did."
"I see."
Severus glow flickered.
"I would never presume to speak for the Trinity, but given the parameters of the mission and its ultimate goal," he smiled. "I am thrilled that you want to spend the night with Hermione."
"You are?" Severus' glow was white.
"Yes," the saint replied. "The goal was for you two to form a deep bond. It appears that has happened."
"They're bonding alright," Sirius muttered.
"It is great progress that she wants to spend the night with you."
"I am glad to hear I'm progressing," Severus drawled.
"I will ask the Trinity for their ultimate verdict, but I personally see no problem in allowing you spending the night with her."
"I am happy to hear it." Severus' glow intensified.
"That being said, you are not to move in with her. You need to return here a few nights each week, if only so Sirius doesn't grow too lonely."
Sirius gave them the most innocent, pathetic expression he could.
"Also, the rules about you leaving her house are the same. Under no circumstances will you be physically allowed to leave the premises. If you step outside you will return here."
"Understood."
"Other than that, assuming the Trinity approves of this, I hope you and Hermione have fun with your little sleepovers," Dismas paused. "Though I do wonder what you will do while she slumbers."
"I can read and work out certain equations."
"Then you'll be spending your time productively."
"I will be as productive as I can be."
"If he's allowed to spend the night with Hermione, can I spend the night watching over James?" Sirius asked.
"Sadly no," Dismas answered. "Hermione is part of his mission. James is not a part of yours."
"Fine." He lowered his head.
Dismas paused, as if awaiting a speech on how the Trinity clearly favored Severus over him. When none came, the saint concluded, "I will expect our weekly meetings to continue as well."
"They will," Severus replied. "I have come to enjoy them."
"Suck up," Sirius mumbled.
"I have come to enjoy our meetings too," Dismas' glow softened.
A comfortable silence engulfed the room.
"Is that the only thing you wanted to ask me?" Dismas asked.
"For now, yes," Severus replied.
The saint turned to Sirius. "Do you have any questions?"
"No." Sirius answered.
"Then I'll leave you two alone to your discussion. I was sorry to interrupt it. It sounded quite interesting."
"How much of it did you hear before you came in?" Severus was whiter than bleach.
"Just enough to understand to know you that this program is working as intended."
Before either spirit could answer, the saint disappeared.
"So now that your venture is going to be approved, how do we give Hermione the best night of her life?" Sirius asked.
If Severus' could've sweat, his forehead would be soaked.
"Don't worry, I'll think of something," Sirius promised.
"I'm sorry, but what in the bloody hell do you know about romance?" Severus burst out. "All of your relationships have been one night stands at best."
"Yes, which means I gave them memorable nights."
"A deep regret is hardly what I'm going for."
"I'll have you know that none of them regretted being with me."
"Or so they said to your face."
"I taught you to read to her, didn't I?" Sirius replied. "That's worked out, didn't it?"
"It only works because she likes my voice, not because it was a brilliant idea."
"That's about as close as a 'you were right' as I'm going to get from you, isn't it?"
Severus' expression left no doubt as to his answer.
"Don't worry. Once you and Hermione set the date, I will have the most spectacular date planned for both of you. When I'm done, Casanova will look like an amateur compared to you."
"I want to be Hermione's lover, not somebody who can seduce any woman he lays eyes on."
"I know." Sirius' glow brightened. "Which is why Hermione loves you."
Severus turned pink again.
"Your first night together will be special, that I promise you," Sirius replied. Even I'm not sure just how to make it happen yet.