Wednesday: July 13, 2011 11:21 A.M.

I smile as I open one of the large envelopes I got in the mail. "Finally. I've been waiting ages for this."

I pull out dozens of professional photos from mine and Randy's wedding. I have been waiting for over two months for these. "Dang. I look good."

Chelle walks into the bedroom and comes up behind me. "Are those what I think they are?"

I turn to look at her with a huge grin. "My wedding photos are finally here. Thanks for the wedding photographer hookup by the way."

"No problem." She looks at some of the photos. "I'm so in love with that wedding dress. You look amazing in these."

"I only said I looked good, but if you say amazing, then I must look amazing."

"I mean you're a total babe. You always look amazing."

I blush. "Man, you got me blushing. You always look amazing too."

"Thanks. Randy better watch out because I'm gonna steal his wife."

I laugh. "If you steal me from him, you can just give him John. I think that'll satisfy Randy."

Chelle laughs. "I think that works."

Ted appears in my doorway. "Are you talking about stealing Marissa from Randy, Chelle? Because that's what I was gonna do."

"You have Ryse, so I get Rissa. Randy can have John."

"Why can't I have both?"

"Because you only get one lover."

"Well based on last night, it's Jay now." I comment.

"What?"

"You had to be there last night to know. Things happened last night."

"Yeah." Ted says. "I still can't believe he vandalized your bus."

"I know."

"What are you looking at?"

"Wedding pictures. Come look."

Ted walks over. "These are really nice. You guys need to hook me and Ryse up with the wedding photographer that you both used."

"I'll get you the business card." Chelle replies.

"Thanks."

We hear a knock on the door. Randy is standing in the doorway.

"What the hell is going on here?" Randy asks.

I smile. "Ted and Chelle are arguing over who's gonna steal me from you."

Randy rolls his eyes. "Um…no one is stealing you from me. I'm keeping you forever. You're stuck with me…wait, what would I get if one of you takes Rissa from me?"

"Cash." Ted replies.

"She's worth more than that. Why you trying to have all these lovers? First, Ryse. Then, Jay. Now, Rissa. Geez."

Chelle laughs. "I got something better. I get Rissa, and you get John."

"As tempting as that sounds, he's a little too whiny for my tastes. All jokes aside, may I talk to my wife in private?"

"Okay." Ted and Chelle both say before leaving the bedroom.

Randy closes the door behind them and looks at me. "Guess what I got."

"What?" I ask.

He shows me an envelope. "The results of the paternity test."

"Have you opened it?"

"Nope."

"Are you going to?"

"I really want to, but it's like how you are about the letters from your mom. I want to, but I'm scared about what's inside."

"But you need to know, so we can figure out what we're doing with Vance. We can't figure this out with Roselle until we know."

Randy sighs. "I know. Will you do it?"

I nod. "Sure."

Randy hands me the envelope. "Here."

I open the envelope and read the results of the paternity test. "Randy…you're not Vance's father. It says the probability of paternity is zero percent."

"Oh. So he's not mine. So that means I'm not his father. Which means he has no parents around."

"But he has his aunt and uncle at least. Roselle and her fiancé."

"That's true. I should've figured it was gonna be negative, but I still wanted it to be positive. I was excited at the thought of having a son. You know to rough house with, play sports with, teach him how to flirt with girls, and all the other stuff."

"Now you got me worried if we end up having a son."

"Oh please. Randy Junior will be just fine. He'll be a well-behaved young boy and become an outstanding young man."

I roll my eyes at Randy. "How many times do we need to go over this? We are not naming any son we have together after you."

"If I keep pushing, you'll change your mind."

"No, I won't."

"We'll see." Randy sighs. "I'm just really disappointed that I don't have a son after all."

I rub his back. "I know. Anyway, I might have one way to cheer you up."

"What's that?"

I drag Randy over to where I have the wedding photos. "Something else came in the mail today."

Randy smiles as he starts looking at the wedding photos. "Finally. We're gonna have to sort these out so much to give to people."

"Yeah. And I'm also making a wedding scrapbook."

"That explains half the photo copies here."

I laugh. "Yeah. I got this huge one to frame too."

"You picked a good one." He continues to look at the photos. "You're so beautiful. Man, I'm so lucky to have you."

I smile. "You're not so bad yourself."

I receive a text on my phone.

Chelle: I'm making lunch. When you and Randy are done talking, come downstairs to eat.

Me: Okay.

"What's going on?" Randy asks.

"Chelle is making lunch, so we are supposed to go downstairs to eat when we're done talking."

"Oh okay." He continues to look at the wedding pictures. "I can't stop. I love looking at these. One of the best days of my entire life."

I nod. "Me too."

Randy and I finally made it downstairs. The others smile as we sit with them.

"Um…" Randy starts. "There is something that I would like to tell everyone at this table. The only other person who knows right now is Rissa. Is everyone ready to listen?"

Everyone nods. I grab Randy's hand and squeeze it. He squeezes my hand back.

"Last Wednesday," Randy says. "I was out of the house for quite some time, and I took Vance with me. If you asked, Rissa told you that I was just running some personal errands and taking Vance out to do stuff. That isn't the complete truth. But don't be mad at Rissa. I wasn't ready to talk about it, and I told her to tell all of you that if you asked her. Last Wednesday, I actually took Vance with me to go get paternity tested. Today, I got the results in the mail. Rissa and I looked at them, and Vance is not my child. Honestly, I'm upset about that because I was excited about having a son. Vance is a sweet child, and I have always wanted a son. I might be upset about this for a while. Looks like I'm gonna have to get Rissa pregnant and hope for the best. Anyway, Rissa and I are to meet up with Vance's aunt and Cami's sister, Roselle, and her fiancé very soon to figure out what we are going to do about Vance. Until that is figured out, Rissa and I would appreciate your help with him while he is here and not with Tyler. Can you guys do that for us?"

"Absolutely." Chelle answers.

"Yeah." John answers.

"Of course." Ryse answers.

"Okay." Ted answers.

"No problem." Eve answers.

"Sure." Cody answers.

Randy smiles. "Thank you. We really appreciate it."

Randy starts eating and an odd silence falls over the eight of us.

After a while of hanging out with the others at the house and being concerned about Randy and his odd silence since lunch, I sneak away to my bedroom again to open another letter from my mom, which I still haven't told my friends about. I find the envelope with the number two on it and put on my glasses. I open the envelope.

Date: May 29, 1986

Dear Marissa, yesterday I officially gave birth to your baby brother. I named him Colby Daniel Lopez. Yes, I am aware that is the same middle name that Tyler has, but I figured that if Colby isn't going to ever see you or Tyler then I could give him one connection to his older brother.

It pains me now as I realize that Colby isn't going to have his older siblings to grow up with. Maybe he won't have any siblings at all if I don't get pregnant again. As I realize this, I'm having some regrets about how I've lived my life. Because of my own actions, two of my children most likely won't see their own mother for a very long time, and the third may never see his older siblings.

I know that I am obviously not setting a very good example of how a mother should be, but I am starting to realize my mistakes in being a mother. Since you will one day be able to become a mother yourself, I feel like I should tell you what I've learned, in hopes that you will do better as a mother than I am whenever you have your own children, hopefully that isn't for at least twenty more years since you're not quite four years old yet.

The first thing I've learned is that you should be there for your children to be able to depend on. I know that I haven't, but I'm going to have that haunting me for the rest of my life even if you and Tyler end up in my life again at some point.

The second thing I've learned is that your children shouldn't be in a broken family because of your mistakes. While I don't regret having you, Tyler, or Colby, my mistakes that caused Colby's conception also caused me to leave you and Tyler.

And I didn't learn this, but based on how things have gone for me, I would highly suggest finding a man that you know that you are fully in love with and get married before having children yourself. I will always love your father, but I never loved him as much as I love Colby's father. I don't plan on messing up again and plan on giving Colby a home with both his parents around.

I know this is going to sound like I chose Colby over both you and Tyler, but I swear that isn't true. Which brings me back to my previous topic. Please, do better than I did. Make sure you're ready for children with the man you have children with, and if the relationship you have children in ends, still treat your children well. If you have kids in different relationships, treat them equally. Be there for your babies no matter what. I think that's the best advice I can give you. Please take it.

Love, Mom

I once again start crying after reading a letter from my mom. I don't necessarily agree with how she handled things, but I am starting to understand why she did it. The only thing that confuses me is why she is referring to only the father that raised me and not mentioning that Vince McMahon is actually my biological father.

I set down the letter and continue to sit and process my thoughts. The topic of this letter on top of some of the events earlier today really made me realize how much I wanted to give Randy the children he wanted. While I do have my concerns about having children affecting my WWE career, I want to have a family. I want to have children that I'll be there for. I realize that I want to have children more than I ever thought I wanted to.

As I sit in bed while watching TV with Randy, I start to think about the things we are both going through and the lack of good communication between the two of us lately with all of the work stress and the stress Cami has caused. On top of that, I just know that he has to have some sort of opinion on my match on Sunday, and I am going insane without hearing him even mentioning it.

Without even thinking twice, I speak to Randy. "We haven't had a lot of good communication lately, babe."

Randy looks at me and turns the TV off. "You really think so?"

"Yeah. We bitch about all of our problems and then have sex. I mean like we had a nice little moment of going through wedding photos today. And we talked about kids, but like other than that not much. And I don't think you've talked to me about everything you want to."

Randy clears his throat before speaking. "I don't think you should wrestle Kharma on Sunday. I heavily thought about telling you not to. If you hadn't rushed out of the locker-room right after mentioning it to me, I would have probably freaked out."

"You told me to outsmart her. Plus, this is no different than you wrestling someone like Kane, Taker, or Big Show."

"Well it's still a horrible idea, especially with a TLC match."

"Again, Randal, no different than Kane or Big Show."

"You also didn't tell me much before telling her."

"Oh well. It was driving me nuts that you weren't saying anything about it, but now I wish I hadn't gotten you to."

"Whatever, Rissa. I just worry about my wife, especially when you are supposed to be carrying my children soon." Randy gets up, clearly upset with me, and walks out of the bedroom.

I sigh and text Chelle.

Me: Well Randy finally said something about my match. I'll tell you more in the morning.

It's past eleven at night, and I'm tired so I turn off the lights and lay down.

Randy will be back in here once he's over all of this.

Thursday: July 14, 2011 1:12 A. M.

I wake up after being asleep for a while. I look at the time. I've only been asleep for around two hours. However, Randy isn't back in here yet. He should be sleeping by now.

I get up out of bed and open the bedroom door so I can leave the bedroom to go find Randy.

I peek out onto our balcony to see if Randy is there, but no luck. So I quietly walk downstairs.

I look in the living room. No Randy. I then stop as I hear something in the dining room. I walk into the dining room. Randy is sitting at the table, drinking some whiskey.

I watch him as he hadn't noticed my presence. "It's a quarter after one."

Randy stops drinking and looks at me. "I know."

"How much have you drank?"

"Not a lot."

"I know that tone, Randy. You're at least a little drunk."

"No, I'm not."

"Randy, I'm serious."

"Okay…I may be a little drunk, Rissa, but just a little."

I sit in the chair next to Randy. "Drinking doesn't help any problems."

"I feel like it does."

"But it really doesn't. And as much as we both know I love my alcohol, I also know that you drinking to get over your problems is not good for you."

"Yeah." Randy sighs. "I should stop."

I take the bottle of whiskey from him and put it away. "You should also go to bed."

"Yeah." Randy goes to get up and stumbles.

I rush to his side and grab his arm. "Let's go."

Randy and I walk upstairs, and I get him into the bedroom. He sits on the bed, and I shut the door.

I go to lay down but look at Randy confused as he just sits there.

"We should talk about what happened earlier." Randy says quietly.

"Randy," I reply. "I think you're drunk enough that there's a pretty solid chance that you wouldn't remember this in the morning. Let's talk about this then. Now, lay your alcohol, cigarette, and cologne smelling self down in this bed, so I can sleep."

Randy lays down and pulls the blankets over him. I also pull the blankets over me.

Randy rubs his hand across my back. "Will you at least lay on top of me like you do a lot? Or do I smell too much like cigarettes and alcohol?"

"You don't like when I do that."

"Yes, I do, Rissa. I just pretend I don't because you then just think you're irritating me, so you do it more to irritate me."

"Well played, babe."

"So…?"

"I guess, but in the morning, you're taking a shower and we're having a talk."

Randy pulls me on top of him. "Okay. Love you."

"Love you too."