AN: Thank you all for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!
Dismas had expected their glows to be yellow, or perhaps in Severus' case pink. He had expected them to be smiling, perhaps even joking with each other. As usual he would hint at what he thought he saw occur with Hermione, but they would playfully deny it. Overall, this visit was supposed to be lighthearted.
Instead the spirits sitting on the couch were white, and their glows were dim. They were not smiling, nor was there any spark in their eyes. What threw Dismas off guard the most though was that they were sitting so close to each other, as if they were trying to seek comfort from each other.
"Is everything okay?" Dismas asked as he approached the other spirits.
"No," Sirius admitted.
Dismas' glow grew lessened. Why did Sirius appear as if he'd seen Satan himself?
"We had an unexpected visitor today," Severus began.
"Who?" Dismas drawled.
Sirius' voice was barely above a whisper. "Metatron."
Dismas' eyes widened as his glow flickered. "Why would he have seen either of you?"
"Apparently Metatron did not appreciate how close Hermione and I became during our last visit," Severus began.
"Should he have been upset about what happened last night?"
"I did not think so."
Dismas stared at him.
"Hermione and I had a pleasant visit. Our first night together was pleasurable, almost magical." Severus' glow was pink.
"She wasn't injured?" Dismas' glow grew brighter.
"Not at all."
"In other words, Metatron had no business here."
"I don't think what I did necessitated an archangel coming in here and harassing Sirius."
Sirius glanced at the ground.
"Do you know who sent Metatron?" Dismas asked.
"He came of his own volition," Sirius replied.
"Of course he did," the saint muttered.
"We don't mean to bring up drama, but he scared us." Sirius looked up. "Actually, he just scared me."
Dismas turned to Severus.
"He was not as spectacular as Sirius made him out to be. I found him to be revolting both in his behavior and his appearance."
Sirius' glow pulsated. "Don't let him hear that."
"Metatron won't hear that," Dismas' glow was a dull red. "He won't hear anything you say because he is going to stay out of Purgatory and do his job."
"We don't mean to cause tensions between you two," Severus began. "Still, we thought you should know what occurred."
"I am glad to know what is going on," Dismas replied. "Metatron is overstepping his bounds, and he knows it."
"Perhaps he is not," Severus offered.
"What?" Sirius asked.
"Last night Hermione and I were…" Severus' expression was that of a teenager who had just been caught half naked in the hallway by his headmaster.
Dismas stepped closer to him.
"We were," Severus sat up straighter. "Quite intimate."
"So Metatron took it upon himself to send a message to you about that?"
"More or less."
"Metraon has no right to speak to anyone about any level of intimacy with mortals." Dismas shook his head.
"Excuse me?"
"Metatron has had his own experiences interacting with mortals, and it was, how do you say," Dismas tapped his foot. "Kinky."
"Oh?" Severus leaned closer. "What exactly did he do?"
"Have you ever seen the Ecstasy of St. Theresa?"
"I have only seen pictures of the statue, but I do recall there was an angel standing over her with a golden spear."
"Hmm hmm." Dismas nodded.
"That was Metatron?" Severus' glow was yellow.
"Yes, and he is insanely proud of that statue. Granted, he's a little irritated that they didn't get his facial features correct, but there's so much gold around him he's willing to ignore the inaccuracies."
"Does he still stab mortals with that spear?"
"Not on earth."
"But in heaven…"
"Let's just say," there was a spark in Dismas' eyes, "Theresa still likes it rough."
Severus couldn't help but chuckle.
"Wait," Sirius stared at them as if they'd just been speaking Spanish. "Metatron doesn't hate mortals, only me?"
"He does not hate mortals per se, but he is overzealous in his prosecution of them at times," Dismas replied. "So much so that he forgets there is good in them."
"He certainly doesn't see much good in me."
Severus felt no urge to make a comment.
"He would see good in you if he allowed himself to."
"But he won't."
"In his defense, it must be difficult to only go over the sins of mortals. If your only job is to focus on the worst of humanity you could easily lose perspective. The fact that Metatron gets the cases most likely to result in damnation helps little."
"That does not justify his actions," Severus cut in.
"No, but it explains them."
"But he doesn't hate me?" Sirius asked.
"No, though it might be fair to say he has taken quite a disliking to you."
Sirius' frown deepened.
"You seem to have that effect on people," Severus deadpanned.
"At least people feel something other than annoyance towards me."
"Because hatred is much preferable than simply forgetting about you or being annoyed."
"What can I say? I leave a strong impression on others," Sirius replied with a smirk.
"I'm glad to see you two haven't lost your sense of humor," Dismas' smile returned.
"Indeed," Severus' glow had returned to normal.
"Maybe but," Sirius wrung his hands. "What about the program?"
"What about it?" Dismas asked.
"Metatron implied the Trinity could pull the plug on it."
Dismas turned red.
"I take it Metatron was speaking out of turn," Severus replied.
"That is a nice way of putting it," Dismas growled.
"But they aren't shutting the program down?" Severus asked.
"Why would they?"
"Because Metatron implied it was a waste of resources," Sirius replied.
"Is Hermione thriving more than she did when you met her?"
"She is," a smile tugged at Severus' lips.
"Then Metatron and I are overdue for a conversation about him focusing on his own job and allowing me to focus on mine."
"Do you think you can take on an archangel?"
"I know I can."
"I hope you do not get in trouble on our account," Sirius began in a weak voice.
"I'll be fine," Dismas replied. "Metatron can be reasoned with fairly easily."
"How?"
Dismas was surprised by the loudness of Sirius' voice.
"I mean if there's some secret to dealing with him I would like to know it, if only so I don't spend all of eternity trying to avoid him."
"When you get to heaven, Metatron will soften his stance towards you." Dismas' glow was yellow once more. "He accepts a soul which is in the presence of the beatific vision, though he's not always thrilled about it."
Sirius' glow brightened.
"And if not, Severus will defend you from him."
"Excuse me?" Severus raised an eyebrow.
"You heard me." Dismas grinned.
"I refuse to spend an eternity as Sirius' personal bodyguard."
"I refuse to spend an eternity being guarded by you," Sirius replied.
"I am glad we have reached an understanding."
Dismas covered his mouth and suppressed a laugh.
"Yes, after all these years you seem to finally understand me."
"I will never fully understand you, but I can at least tolerate your presence a little more."
"So I'm back to being only tolerable?"
"You were always only tolerable."
Sirius opened his mouth to say something, but closed it when he saw the gleam in Severus' eyes. He couldn't help but laugh.
"Tell me Severus," Dismas interrupted. "How were things with Hermione last night?"
"They were amazing." Severus was pink. "I have never been so at peace in a woman's presence."
"That's a drastic improvement given how you felt about her and this mission when it began."
"Indeed." Severus' glow brightened. "I have finally found an amazing woman who I could see spending an eternity with."
"Once you complete this program, I'm sure you will spend the rest of eternity with her," Dismas answered. "Assuming she remains on the path she is on."
Severus hummed and nodded.
"Speaking of Hermione, my original intention was to retrieve the tuxedo." Dismas held out his hands. "Are you finished with it?"
"I am," Severus bent down and picked up the tuxedo. "Thank you again. It was quite helpful in assisting Hermione."
"I would imagine she was very eager to share in any kind of intimacy when you wore that." Dismas took it from him.
"Indeed." His glow returned to his pink hue.
"Anyway, I should return this to St. Peter and speak to Metatron about his little intrusion."
"He said he may be in court," Sirius noted.
"I can wait until he's done," Dismas' voice was low.
Sirius' lips curled up.
"In the meantime," there was a twinkle in Dismas' eyes. "Don't worry about Metatron. He doesn't have the clout to end this program and he knows it. The program will continue as it has been, barring a catastrophic failure."
"I will do everything in my power not to fail Hermione," Severus vowed.
"I know you will," Dismas answered.
With that, the saint returned to heaven, more than ready to confront the angelic prosecutor.