PR Problems G.1

"Glenn, I don't know how many more ways I can say it, but I'm not doing that."

"It'll be brilliant! You didn't trust me on your costume either if I remember correctly." Glenn Chambers' disturbingly upbeat and perky voice chirped over the video line. It took everything Ethan had not to glare at the Hawaiian shirt-clad man.

"For the last time Glenn, I am not going to publicly reveal that Assault is Madcap just because one teenager let a manipulative asshole delude her into thinking the PRT killed me offscreen."

Glenn sighed and shook his head. "We've been worried about this sort of thing for years, Assault. Not to toot my own horn, but our PR machine is good. It's too good sometimes. I leave hints for the smart people who go looking, but more often than not, those people get shouted down as conspiracy theorists. When you couple that with propaganda machines in the intelligent organizations, it's really no wonder that we have young capes and gang members thinking that we are horrible people who quickly make problems vanish. I'm already working on a counter."

"Great. Go with that."

"You're part of that counter, Assault. You might as well be my flagship!"

Ethan groaned. "Glenn! I'm a sarcastic idiot! Piggot hates me most of the time and I swear most of the team here just humors me. What the hell makes me so enticing to you?"

"You're a good person." Glenn stood and leaned forward over his desk, far more spry than his bulk would lead one to expect. "Let's be straight with each other, Ethan. You don't realize how rare your enthusiasm and outlook can be among your peer group. The reformed villains are, by and large, unpleasant individuals. You do well with children, you have a sense of humor, the city adores you, you've had a spotless record. You are everything that this program could ask for. You made mistakes, you atoned for them, you've made the world a better place."

"I'm just - "

"You're good with people." Glenn leaned even closer to the camera. "Help me here, Ethan. I'm not going to lie, I want to entice Rune onto the Wards. She'd be a win. If pulling her in would pull in Hardlight or Purity that would be even more wonderful. But that's not why I need this. I need this because we can't let the gangs around the world continue to make up stories about the PRT 'disappearing' ex-villains. The PRT, Protectorate, and Wards need to be viable options for unhappy minions. We cannot alienate people simply because they think we will send them to jail or the Birdcage without fanfare."

Ethan wiped a hand down his face. It made sense. It made too much sense. God he hated PR. Things were so much simpler when he was just knocking over trucks and bull rushing helicopters for cash and ideals. "There has to be someone else."

"No one better placed. You live in Brockton Bay, the city has a reputation. If someone who broke out Birdcage-bound villains could stay on the straight and narrow in such a place - and thrive while doing so - what could others achieve?"

"Shadow Stalker lived here as well."

Glenn scowled, his entire expression darkening. "I warned everyone that that child had no business being in the Wards. That she managed to trigger one of the few teenagers who wouldn't murder the haughty little pyschopath on sight is a near miracle."

Ethan's eyebrows rose. "You know Hardlight asked the Nazis to go after her right?"

Glenn scoffed and sat back waving his hand. "Oh please, you live in Brockton Bay, that's tame. Most people would've shanked her or just gone after her with whatever powers they had. I can twist Hardlight's optics easily enough, missteps included. Plus," he paused and reached over, grabbing a framed photo and holding up so that it filled the entire camera feed, "Cancer Healing Puppies. Cancer! Healing! Puppies! I can't beat that! I can't! There is no way! This is the literal Holy Grail of my business. And she's now reformed not one, but two neo-Nazis. I'm having my team take lessons from her, literally, there's a workshop and everything. If I could get her to work for me she'd be a gold mine!"

"You are a strange, strange man, Glenn," Ethan said, rolling his eyes.

Glenn chuckled. "You know, if I didn't think it would make things even more volatile, I'd probably be shifting offices over there even now. Especially with the Empire dying. PR is even more important now than ever and you all need help badly."

Ethan grunted. "Is linking my identities really that big a thing?"

"I truly think it is. We're not fighting Brockton Bay, we're fighting a culture. Kaiser is a smart man, but he's not the only smart man out there. If Rune was conned into thinking she was locked into her path like that because we were too good at our jobs…I find myself wondering just how many others I've unknowingly damned."

Glenn shook his head and sighed. "I realize most people we flip aren't runaway success stories, Ethan. But even a surly Hero is still a Hero at the end of the day. And that's better than a morose, frustrated Villain. I just want everyone to understand that there are options."

"I'll…think about it. I don't mind telling people I like or trust, but…This is a big thing, Glenn. I have to talk this over with my wife."

"I completely understand. Please let me know your decision. Either way, I'll be the one to talk with Director Piggot about it for you. I can do that much at least."

"Oh yes, you're definitely doing that much. I'll call you tomorrow."