AN: Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!
Hermione couldn't absorb the conversation between the psychiatrist and Harry. The white sterile walls and the oaken desk faded into the background as Hermione's world imploded upon her. The words spoken about her were indecipherable mumblings underlying echoing shout of one thought:
How could Harry do this to me?
Hermione's pulse quickened as her face burned. Every muscle in her body tensed.
There was a power coursing through her veins, though she knew not what it was.
A few times she shot a look at the door, but decided against bolting out. There was something stirring within her, something that said a powerful force would protect her. If things became too untenable, somebody would step in. She believe in it as much as she believed in Severus' visits. Severus may not be able to save her, but someone else could, someone she couldn't quite identify but was just as powerful...
Taking this sensation into account, she decided to stay. She deserved, not needed a chance to defend herself, futile as that endeavor may be. So many times her story had been told by others, whether it be Rita Skeeter or Ron. It was time for her to stand up and tell the truth.
"Have you spoken to Severus?" Dr. Lum asked.
"No, I haven't," Harry admitted.
Hermione's chest froze at the name of her beloved. Every fiber of her being wished her was there, making snarky comments about Harry. She could almost see his glow turning red as he bit his tongue. Then, he would note the fear in her eyes. He would touch her, and all would be well in her world. As the image became clearer, a more sinister thought entered her mind.
What if I never see Severus again?
No, something told her that wouldn't happen. How she knew this she was unsure, but someone would step into protect her.
"He doesn't appear to anyone either," Harry replied. "Only her..."
She attempted to keep her mind from wandering to her sitting in a sterile white padded cell, screaming for the Trinity to allow her to see Severus, or whatever force there was to make him appear.
"Hermione?"
She startled.
"You haven't said much," the psychiatrist's smile was sweet, almost genuine.
What was the catch?
"What is there to say?" Hermione began, her tone even.
"Plenty." Dr. Lum put a quill to her yellow notepad and scribbled something.
Hermione glared at her. The room may have smelled like lavender, but her office was in no way relaxing.
"Would you like to speak with me about your visions of Severus Snape?" Dr. Lum flicked her wrist, jiggling her gold bracelet.
"Why should I?"
"It could help us sort some things out."
"What things? I'm clear on what I've experienced. It's only Harry who's confused."
"Hermione." Harry put a hand on her shoulder.
"Don't touch me!" She snapped. "Don't ever touch me again!"
He recoiled.
Dr. Lum hummed and wrote on her pad.
Hermione's stomach dropped. That little outburst may have proven she was crazy. A boiling tear threatened to trickle down her cheek.
Had she just given up her chance to be with Severus?
"Please understand, I'm only trying to help you," He began.
"If you want to help me, then believe me when I say I'm communicating with Severus." Although her voice was quiet, she was trembling from the effort to keep her emotions in check.
Harry sighed and shook his head.
"Can't you just believe me?"
He stared at the beige carpet.
Moments dragged on. Hermione turned her attention to Dr. Lum. The psychiatrist was quiet, as if waiting for that one sign which would give her permission to commit Hermione to the mental institution.
"I never wanted to hurt you," Harry choked.
"Well, you did," Hermione snapped.
"Would you mind allowing me some time alone with Hermione?" Dr. Lum cut in.
Harry blinked.
"I think we could have a more productive conversation if you stepped out of the room," Dr. Lum continued. "Not to mention the fact that you could be violating confidentiality by remaining here."
"Sure." Harry stood. "Yeah, sure."
Hermione glowered at him as he left. Then, she folded her arms over her chest and slouched into her green chair.
"Before we begin," Dr. Lum placed her quill onto the pad. "I should reiterate that I am a magical psychiatrist."
Hermione's frown deepened.
"I am well aware that there are things which occur in this world that others may not understand."
"Like what?"
"Like things you wouldn't see in the muggle world such as ghosts…"
"Severus isn't a ghost, he's a spirit!"
"A spirit," Dr. Lum was unfazed.
A moment of silence passed.
"I am open to anything you have to tell me," Dr. Lum continued. "I will do my best to try and understand what is going on."
"Harry is a wizard, and he doesn't understand what's going on. Why should I trust you?"
"Because I'm not Harry."
The force grew stronger, though it did not relax Hermione.
"What is going on?"
"Does it matter what I say?" Hermione swallowed. "You're going to believe what you want to believe."
"What do you think I believe?"
"That I'm nuts."
"Actually I'm still unclear on that."
Hermione raised an eyebrow."
"What I believe is that this is the most specific yet elaborate situation I have ever heard."
Hermione took note of the fact that Dr. Lum did not call it a fantasy.
"You don't see Severus Snape all the time, nor do you claim you are married to him," Dr. Lum began. "I find that interesting."
"I never claimed to be married to him, only in a relationship with him."
"Yes, but you have yet to bring him to work, attempt to take him out to dinner, or buy yourself gifts and claim they are from him. In short, " Dr. Lum took a deep breath. "This doesn't sound like the fantasy of someone losing her mind."
Hermione stared at Dr. Lum. Did she want her unwilling patient to lower her guard, or was she serious?
"I also find it interesting that you still acknowledge that he is dead. If you were having a psychiatric break, I would expect you to attempt to prove he was alive, or claim he was in a secret location only you could access. Still, you acknowledge that he is dead, which I find fascinating."
"He is dead. I…" Hermione's throat constricted. "I saw him die, I attended his funeral and his posthumous awards ceremony. There is no reason to deny that he is dead."
"Do you have the urge to be united with him?"
"Yes, but not the way you think."
"Oh?" Dr. Lum hummed.
"It's complicated, but there is a way for two souls to touch."
"And he is just a soul?"
"A spirit is a soul without a body, so I suppose he is one."
"Have you had the urge to unite yourself with him by taking your own life?"
"No." Hermione's eyes grew. "I don't want to die, and he wants me to live."
"He doesn't encourage you to hurt or kill yourself?"
"No, never!"
"When you see him, what does he encourage you to do?"
"He wants me to find eudaimonia."
"He wants you to find happiness?" Dr. Lum scribbled something on her notepad.
"You know what eudaimonia is?"
"I had a double major in psychology and philosophy. I'm very familiar with the concept." Dr. Lum grinned.
"I see," Hermione drawled.
"Anyway, why don't you tell me why he wants to help you find eudaimonia."
"It's a long, complicated story, but in short, he needs to get out of Purgatory by helping me achieve a sense of eudaimonia."
"So he's only here for a limited amount of time?"
Hermione felt the color drain from her face.
"Has he spoken with you about leaving?"
"We try to avoid that topic." Hermione rubbed her right hand.
"Has he given you a time frame for when he plans to leave?"
"The Trinity hasn't made that clear," Hermione mumbled.
"The Trinity?" Dr. Lum cocked her head.
"Yes, the Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier. They run the program."
"Were you particularly religious before this experience?"
"Not terribly," Hermione admitted. "Though I talk to the Trinity more frequently now, if only to ask them if he can stay and thank them for sending him to me in the first place."
"Do they answer back?"
"I mean they let him stay. I suppose that's their answer."
"But they don't speak to you with words?"
"No," Hermione answered.
"Have you seen them?"
"No."
"And Severus Snape is the only dead person you see?" Dr. Lum jotted down another note.
"Yes." Hermione folded her hands.
"Okay," Dr. Lum exhaled. "Thank you, this is all very helpful."
Hermione rubbed her thumbs together as she fidgeted.
"I will be honest with you," Dr. Lum set the pad onto her desk. "This is quite an elaborate set up."
Hermione's stomach churned.
"That being said," Dr. Lum's eyes softened. "I've seen weirder things from the Hogwarts ghosts and read weirder stories in the lives of many great, and perfectly sane, wizards."
"What does that mean?"
"It means I believe you."
"You do?" Hermione sat up straight.
"Well, believe may be a strong word, but I do not believe your visits with Severus are causing any long term damage."
"No, they're helping me. As crazy as it sounds, they're helping me live my best life."
"You're under that impression anyway."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Hermione frowned again.
"It means that after speaking with you, watching your body language, and hearing more about the situation, I believe that whatever this is has the effect of helping you process your feelings concerning everything else going on in your life."
"It does much more than that."
"Perhaps," Dr. Lum admitted "Though I would ask you to consider how these visits are affecting others."
Hermione twisted her lower lip.
"Saying the things you did about Harry's mother was needlessly hurtful."
"He deserved to know the truth." She bit her lower lip, wondering if she'd said too much.
"According to Severus that was the truth, but according to others that may not have been the case."
She swallowed.
"Regardless," Dr. Lum crossed her legs. "It wouldn't hurt for you to consider therapy."
"Because I see Severus?"
"No, because you've been through a lot in your life."
Hermione's expression was blank.
"You went through a war at a very young age, and you went through a public breakup with the only living man you've loved. Most people in your situation could benefit from a bit of therapy, if only to help them process everything."
"Would my getting therapy lead someone to believe I'm crazy, given my relationship with Severus?"
"Getting therapy means you're recovering from trauma, not that you're crazy beyond hope."
Hermione tapped the armrest of her chair.
"Here." Dr. Lum reached into her white shirt pocket and pulled out a card. "If you ever feel the need to speak with someone, I can give you some great recommendations. I am more than happy to help you find someone who can get you through whatever issues you may be having."
"But they would not view me as crazy?" Hermione took the card.
"No." There was a twinkle in Dr. Lum's eyes. "I would make sure they understood that in my professional opinion, you are not crazy."
"I'll, I'll consider this." Hermione folded the card and put it into her jeans pocket.
"Well," Dr. Lum's smile returned. "If you would like, could you call Harry into my office? There are some thing we need to discuss."
"Yes," Hermione stood. "I can do that."
Dr. Lum stood and extended her hand. "It was great to meet you, Hermione."
"Great to meet you too." Hermione shook her hand.
As Hermione exited the room, Dr. Lum exhaled and glanced at her notes.
Under most circumstances, she would've committed Hermione, but the visions specific enough to be true. Even if her notes didn't support a verdict of sanity, Dr. Lum felt a force in the room, a whisper in her ear to believe Hermione. She'd never felt it before, but it was as real as she was.
From the corner of her eye, Dr. Lum thought she saw a mist. She startled and glanced up. A figure of a man in a white robe with long wavy hair gave her a small wink and waved before vanishing.
Yes, Hermione was telling the truth.
